Chapter 5
Leaving Mari after being in her orbit again felt wrong. We needed time together after so much separation, a chance to reconnect and reforge the bond we’d once had.
As her future underboss, I needed her to trust me, but that wasn’t what drove me toward her room. The truth was, I’d missed her. I wanted her friendship back. I got all the way to her door before I realized my arrival in the aftermath of Rey’s death was probably overloading her. What she needed was space to come to terms with everything. She had to get used to me again.
And I knew she had doubts about me, about us. I didn’t blame her.
I should have come home sooner.
I had no excuse other than I was comfortable in my life. In the monotony of being normal. Of not having to be in a world that fought wars right under the noses of soccer moms and everyday dads. Civilians knew jack shit about what we went through, what we endured, even as children. Mari and I might have grown up separately, but we’d lived the same life. Her as Mario’s only daughter, and me as the only surviving heir of a dying family. We had the same responsibilities.
It all pared down to one goal—the continued survival of our people, our family.
Sue me for choosing something different the second I could. For once, I wanted to be one of those normal, unsuspecting people. I wanted to walk to the coffee shop without looking over my shoulder and fuck whoever I wanted without having to worry about potential alliances and heirs. To get a shitty job that sucked the life out of me without fearing someone restarting territory disputes. I wanted to be free.
I hadn’t realized Mari was the cost of that freedom until it was too late.
“If you think she’s the moonstruck girl you left, you’re wrong. She’s had to do more for her own survival than you can imagine.”
Greyson’s ambush wasn’t a surprise. That he’d waited until I was finally in front of my room was. I turned, tossing on the mask I’d perfected in Chicago. The I can make butter melt in my mouth mask that got me free drinks and dropped panties wherever I went. It wouldn’t work on Grey like that, but it would annoy him, and that was enough for me.
“Believe me, I understand she’s all woman now. I’ve got eyes.”
I was baiting him, but guilt made my chest tight until I either lashed out or lost my mind. I knew Mari wasn’t the same girl I’d left behind, and that would always be my fault.
Greyson’s lips twisted into a snarl. “Be respectful, or I’ll remove you from her life myself.”
“Is that any way to talk to your new underboss?”
He didn’t miss a beat. “You haven’t been inducted yet. There’s still time for you to disappear again. I bet Mari wouldn’t even be surprised.”
Fuck, that hurt. Grey had always had the ability to pick at my insecurities, but hearing Mari’s doubts come out of his mouth was too much. It was the only reason I opened mine.
“What’s wrong, Grey? Are you mad because I knew something about mariposa you didn’t or because I was the first to have her?”
Antagonizing Grey was a mistake, one I knew well. The man never forgot anything, and he could hold a grudge like no one else. But I couldn’t help myself. I was gratified when I saw it, the jaw clenching. He hated that I’d been Mari’s first.
You could have been her only. I shoved the thought away. The past didn’t matter, only the future. I had to stay focused.
“Why did you come back?”
I’d expected him to snap back, so his question caught me off guard. “Why, did you miss me?”
My deflection didn’t work. “Dominic.”
“Because I had unfinished business.” It was the closest thing to the truth I could say, but Grey knew what I meant. Despite our mutual dislike, we’d always understood each other on a fundamental level. If we’d been friends, we could’ve taken on the world. Instead, we were destined to burn it down around us.
“Mari,” he guessed.
“Yes.” I didn’t say anything else. He didn’t need to know my plans. My hopes and dreams were mine and hers alone.
“I don’t like having you here.”
Shocker. “Because she has feelings for me?”
Grey scoffed. “Because she doesn’t need this right now. Not when she’s on the verge of getting everything she’s ever wanted, and not when an unknown player is making moves to take her out. You’re a distraction and a risk to her life and her safety. If we were sure you’d stay, maybe it would be different, but that isn’t the case. You’re an unpinned grenade waiting to blow, and I can see you putting her right in the kill zone.”
I tried not to take that personally. It was Grey’s fear talking, but it stung, nonetheless.
It had always been easy to see how much Mari mattered to him. Grey’s devotion was legendary and bone-deep. As kids, he was the first to check on her if he thought something was wrong, the one who kissed her scraped knees and held her together when no one else realized she was hurting. I had no doubt that in the years I’d been gone, that need to protect her had only gotten stronger. Hell, he’d probably done more to keep her safe from his place in the shadows than I ever would.
Whatever I felt for Greyson, I knew he’d kept Mari safe when there was no one else to do it. That had to be acknowledged. But I wasn’t going to let him walk all over me because of it.
“You’ve put a lot of energy into keeping Mari alive, Grey. Don’t think I don’t see that.” The compliment grated on its way out, like I was scraping my throat with glass, but it needed to be said. My feelings about him as a person didn’t negate that truth. “But things are changing. I’m home now. For good. I know you don’t believe me and neither does she, but I’m going to prove it to you both. This is where I should have been, where I’m meant to be. So, we can be allies, or we can be enemies. It doesn’t matter to me because I’m not going anywhere.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“I don’t care.” I shrugged. “Your opinion isn’t the one that matters to me.”
“We’re never going to be allies, but I’ll happily watch you try to fit into her life. When you finally run off to wherever the fuck you go, I’ll be the one piecing her back together like I always do.”
It was what I expected. Grey and I had been competitors for Mari’s heart from the moment we met, and I doubted anything would change that now. The reminder of Grey’s not-so-secret feelings poked at me, and I decided to take advantage of his unusual honesty. The worst he could do was not answer my question.
“Why haven’t you made a move on her?” He scoffed, but I kept going. “You’ve been in love with Mari since we met. Was it Antoni? He didn’t seem like the type to keep people from being happy.”
“It didn’t have anything to do with Antoni.”
“Then what? Why walk away from a connection like that?” I wasn’t blind. I saw what Grey and Mari were like; I’d always just chosen to look the other way. For the short time I’d had her, she’d been mine, not his. That was enough.
“Because it’s not my job to be her boyfriend. It’s my job to keep her safe.”
I raised a brow. “I wasn’t aware you couldn’t do both at the same time. You don’t think the fact that you love her—and she loves you back—matters?”
Grey’s sharp laugh echoed through the hall. “Christ, you’ve been gone a long time. Have you forgotten the world we live in? Love doesn’t have a place here. Just look at your mom. She’s been married how many times now?”
Five, but I wasn’t going to say that. My mother’s marriage to my father had been an arranged marriage turned love match. After his death, she had been nothing more than a pawn. I understood what he meant, what the traditional role of a woman in our world was, but I still didn’t get it. Mari was a queen, and maybe it was the romantic in me, but I thought love always mattered most. “You could’ve made something work if you really wanted to.”
“What do you think I should have done, Dominic? Be with her, have her all to myself, fall even deeper in love with her than I already am, just to watch her marry someone else?” I opened my mouth, and he laughed again. That caustic, harsh sound. “No, you think she should’ve married me. That if I’d have made my move years ago when her empire was still in shambles, I could’ve ruled at her side, am I right?
“The truth is, love’s a fairy tale neither of us can afford. No matter what I do or how high I rise, my place will never be at her side. Even when she was just Mario’s daughter, Mari was always meant for someone else. I’ve had to accept that and take the pieces of her that I can. Can you say you wouldn’t do the same in my shoes?”
Even knowing he was right, I couldn’t back down. “So, how does this work? You just watch her get with other guys and let it happen? You can’t be serious. I can’t do that. I won’t.” Mari was mine. She’d always been mine, and now that I was home, like fuck was I going to let her be with someone else.
“It’s not your choice,” Grey growled, warning me to push him on this. “It’s Mari’s life. The only thing she really has control over is who she lets into her body, and I’m not going to allow some fuckboy to make her feel guilty for doing what she needs to do to survive.”
Deciding to let it go, I laughed. “I’m a grown-ass man, Grey. Hardly a fuckboy.”
Grey glared. “We both know that you’ve spent years looking for anything that gave you pleasure and finding it mostly between a woman’s thighs. It’s not a bad thing and I’m not shaming you for it, but you’ve been off playing civilian, while Mari’s been running an empire. If she wants to fuck half the city to let off some stress, who are you to judge her for it?”
The idea of Mari with someone else had bile rushing up my throat, but I was self-aware enough to see my own hypocrisy. I certainly hadn’t been a monk in the years since I’d returned to my hometown, but I didn’t expect Mari to be the same. She was my mariposa. My butterfly. My good girl trapped in a bad life.
Grey shook his head like he could read my mind. I wouldn’t put it past him. “You’ve been gone a long time, Dominic. Mari’s not the girl you knew anymore.”
Guilt pricked at me again. “Then I’ll get to know her. Be who she needs.”
“Will you, though?” Grey asked. “She needs someone who will not only step in front of fire to save her, but set the world ablaze at her command. Someone who won’t hesitate to do whatever it takes to keep her alive, even if it doesn’t fit with their moral code. Someone who gives up their life for hers. Someone selfless. You wouldn’t know how to be that man if I handed you a fucking manual.”
It was frustrating how true that was. I’d never had to be selfless. I’d always been able to take what I wanted without worrying about the consequences. But I could be for her. At the very least, I wanted to try. That had to count for something.
“You and Mari are going to regret doubting me. I’ll show you both that I’m the best person out there for her.”
Grey laughed, and this time, it was honest. I stared as his whole face transformed into something softer, something real with a bit of that boyish charm from our youth peeking through. Was that what Mari saw when she looked at him? If so, I could see the appeal. I wasn’t into dudes, but Grey was beautiful when he let go.
Our eyes caught, and in a second, what little bit of humanity he’d shared was buried. Shuttered away from the world until all that remained was the robot he pretended to be. His very own mask. “If you think you can hold her on your own, you’re delusional. It’ll take an army to keep Mari safe, happy, and sated.”
I grinned, though I didn’t feel it, pushing off the wall and opening the door to my room. “Good thing I’ve never had a problem sharing.”
I had a feeling that wouldn’t be the case with Mari, but I refused to let Grey have the last word.
Nothing but silence followed me inside.