Chapter 15
There came a point where the most even-keeled person lost their shit. I was at that point.
From the moment I’d found out Rey had died, the pressure in my chest had built. Every day, it got harder to breathe under it all. My responsibilities to my family, the future, the decisions I had to make soon. They weighed on me.
Then Cash came in and fucked things up even more. Grey and I had spent weeks digging through the city, searching every inch of it for him, and found nothing—only for him to show up and break into my place and attack my people? It was too much, and now the dam in me was breaking.
Guilt weighed heavier than joy, and I was bogged down with it. Thankfully, the rage helped push it away. Helped give me focus. Drive. Because while I was furious with Cash, I was even angrier at myself. I’d spent so much time trying to end things before a real war broke out that I’d left myself and my people vulnerable. In playing it safe, I’d left Nate vulnerable.
Never again.
Geneva barely had the car stopped when I slipped through the seats and out into the cool air. The men followed, doors slamming, but I didn’t wait for them. We’d wasted enough time.
“We need to set up a meet with the others. Cash needs to go.” Sharp clicks of my heels on the slick floor gave my words an extra bite. Amara, our longtime housekeeper, took our coats with a smile.
I laid a hand on her shoulder in thanks before I paused. Cash had already proven he didn’t care about bystanders. She was a surrogate aunt and a staple in my home and family, and I couldn’t lose her. “It might be a good time for a vacation, Amara. Go visit Jessa in New England for a few weeks while we deal with things.”
As if he’d been waiting, Joaquin’s voice rang through the foyer. “Have you come to your senses, then? Are the upstart’s days numbered?”
Amara glared at him before patting me on the arm. “Not a fan of New England or my sister in the spring. Ask me again when it’s over.”
She disappeared down the hallway, and I let her confidence shore me up. She trusted me, and it was why she wasn’t leaving. Amara had faith that I’d protect her, and I wasn’t going to let her down.
I didn’t have to look to see Joaquin snug in his outdated armchair with his sycophants close. Yet another situation I’d let go too long without interference. Another effort to keep the peace that had backfired and made my life harder. I was done. Tired of trying to keep my family whole while they plotted behind my back. If I let them continue, I’d wind up dead. It had to end.
It was time to remind them who their sovereign was.
Men like Joaquin didn’t understand the strength of silence and patience. All they cared about was brute force, so I gave it to him. I flew across the room and yanked him from his chair. A loud crack preceded my uncle on his knees, his wrist twisted tight in my hand.
“Watch how you speak to me, Uncle. I would hate to see what happens when you push me.” There was nothing but deadly calm in my voice.
His followers shifted at his back, moving so their weapons were easier to reach. My own men adjusted their positions behind me with nothing more than a whisper of fabric. The air was tense around us, and unless I wanted Amara cleaning up a bloodbath, I needed to de-escalate.
It was a lesson, not a massacre.
“Draw a weapon in my home, and it’ll be the last thing you do.” I ran my eyes over the crowd, staring down each and every person. “I know all of you. I know your families, your partners, your kids. I’ve spent years protecting you, making this city safe enough for your children to walk to the corner store without an adult. I’ve poured my blood into these streets to keep you alive and fed, and this is how you repay me? By listening to the rantings of an old man with an old-world dream? By pulling a gun on the person you swore to protect? This is not the Marcosa family I grew up with. You’re nothing more than little boys playing gangster, and I’m tired of it.”
Joaquin’s men, my men, shifted again at my obvious disgust. Every one of them looked embarrassed and ashamed, naughty children being called out. Good.
“This insubordination is over. Anyone who continues will be met with force. I have no use for oath-breakers. If you want to challenge me for my position, you’ll do it in the ring, and I’ll put you down like I have all the others. Otherwise, keep your mouth shut unless I ask for your opinion.” Which would be on the third of never. Their decision-making was obviously subpar.
“The next person to disrespect me will find a way to the family plot. Is that understood?” When they all nodded, I turned back to my uncle. I could see hints of myself in him. We shared the same eyes, the same cruel tilt of our lips, the same texture in our hair. But where he’d gotten soft in his age, I’d grown hard. I was not the child he’d played dolls with nor the princess he’d helped blow out birthday candles. He could accept that or follow his brother and mine into the afterlife. I’d deal with the repercussions of it later.
“And you, Uncle? Do you understand?” I saw the battle in his eyes before he dipped his head with slightly insincere respect. It wasn’t perfect, but it was enough for now.
I released him, moving just out of reach. Two of his men, nephews from his latest wife’s family, stepped forward to help him up, but I shook my head.
His own actions had put him on his knees, so he’d be the one to find his footing again. Just another reminder that his place was on my side or at my feet. There were no other options.
If looks could burn, I’d have been nothing but ashes, but Joaquin’s fury held a heavy dose of respect. He didn’t like what I’d done, but he understood because he would’ve done the same.
When he was seated again, I finally answered my uncle’s question.
“Gilded was robbed by Aces tonight, with one casualty on their side. We’ll meet the heads of the other families in the morning and decide how to get rid of them for good. I want the upstart dead before summer comes.”
If Cash wanted a war, I’d give him one. I’d bring the entire city down on him, and we’d smoke him out like the rat he was.
“Time for a war council, boys!” Joaquin’s men cheered when he flashed them a smug grin as if he’d orchestrated everything himself. Prick.
Leaving them, I headed to my office, my men silent at my back.
No one spoke until we were inside. I didn’t worry about talking in front of Nate. He’d been patted down and had his phone taken. Considering I wasn’t letting him off the premises, he couldn’t tell anyone our plans.
Don’t get too close, I reminded myself. Nate was in my home because he didn’t have another choice. I had to remember that.
Perched on the edge of the desk, I tapped my nails against my crossed arms. If I started pacing, I wouldn’t be able to stop.
Turning to our guest first, I gave him a friendly warning. “I don’t have time to handle you, so I’m giving you a chance to earn my trust in real time. Stay out of the way and out of things that don’t involve you. Got it?”
“Got it.”
“There are cameras everywhere,” Tennessee warned from his spot by the door. “Even when you think you’re alone, you aren’t. And this is a shoot first, ask questions later family.”
“Understood.”
I hoped so.
“Greyson, call the heads. We’ll meet downtown as always. Circle back with Dominic and work on security when you’re done. No one in or out without my say-so from now on.” I directed the last to Nate, who nodded. He wasn’t a prisoner, but he was damn close. “Dominic, call Shara. She’s in charge of the clubs until further notice. Add extra security inside too, if we can swing it.”
“Should we move everyone to a safe house?” he asked. The thought that he was considering everyone else was another reminder that he was the right man for the job.
“Yeah.” We had more than a few apartment and condo buildings, plus a couple neighborhoods in the suburbs. It would strap us if things got bad, leaving only one option for retreat for me and the family in our home, but it would have to do. “Renovations on the Zodiac just finished. Fill it up first.”
We would have to pair some individuals together, but it would be worth it to keep everyone safe without asking for favors. I didn’t like the idea of anyone knowing where my most vulnerable were.
Except Nate. He was a captive audience.
“We can move some of the families to the suburbs, but getting them back into the city for work will be a bitch,” Grey said. “Unless you want to shut down?”
“We need to keep up appearances while we prepare. If he knows we’re coming, we’re fucked.”
“Individual cars are obviously out, but we can’t risk anyone getting on public transport either. Too dangerous.” Dominic scrubbed his jaw. “What we need is guards on everyone, but it’ll spread us way too thin. And what about the kids? If we pull them all out of school, it’ll send the city into a tailspin. Everyone will panic.”
Shit. He was right. We couldn’t just board up the school either. It would set off Cash’s spidey senses.
“If you shack up employees by which businesses they work at, you could shuttle them with armed security. It’s not perfect, but it’ll make it harder to pick off your people than if they all came in alone.”
All three of us turned to Nate, whose cheeks grew rosy with the attention. “I’m sure I’m supposed to be keeping my mouth shut, but I’m here. Let me help.”
I didn’t want him involved, but I was curious what he’d say. “Go on.”
Rubbing his hands on his legs, he nodded. “Right. If you can, move the kids out of the city first. You can do it slowly or schedule a ‘field trip’ out of town. I’m sure you’ve got someone who can backdate it so everything looks legit if anyone digs into the absences. Hell, you could close the school for a gas leak or something, even.”
Grey typed furiously on his phone. “A gas leak could work. We’ve got the safety inspectors already.”
Dominic’s smile dropped as he turned to me. “What if the parents have to stay? Not everyone will be able to leave.”
That was the hardest part about being the leader. Separating families wasn’t what I wanted to do, but if it kept them alive, I would. “Then the kids go to another family. A sort of internal foster situation. We’ll make sure families can still get in contact with one another, but their safety is the priority, and the distance is the best contingency plan we’ve got.”
We engaged in more discussion on logistics and how we could bus the kids and parents out together, but it wasn’t anything we could do tonight. We had a few days, maybe a week to get things in place before things started heating up.
Dominic and Grey were still discussing things quietly between them when I noticed Nate slouched in his chair. It’d been a long day for all of us, but especially him. He’d been attacked tonight. He’d killed someone.
“Let’s table this for after the meeting.” I looked up, startled to find Grey closer than I expected. He ran the pad of his thumb under my eye gently. “You look exhausted.”
God, I was. I wanted sleep, a few hours to dream of nothing, but I had a feeling the days of decent rest were behind us.
As if he could hear my thoughts, Grey pulled me into his chest, hand twisted in my hair. It was the same hug we’d always done, but it felt more intimate now. A touch more possessive than usual, but I liked it.
“I’m sure you’ll want friendly faces tomorrow,” he said, resting his chin on my head. “I can call Aislynn?—”
My chest constricted. “No.”
I’d been avoiding thinking about the proposal since I’d decided on the meeting, but I knew Sean would want an answer soon. Especially if I was asking for help. But Greyson still didn’t know, and I couldn’t deal with having him and his would-be bride in the same room. Not yet. Not when we hadn’t had a chance to discuss anything. Not when I wasn’t sure if there was a way out of the trap I saw forming before me.
If I wanted the Irish in my corner, they’d want Greyson in return, and I didn’t know how to decline without losing one of our biggest allies.
Just get through the meeting. You can tell him after. I didn’t relish his reaction.
Anxious all over again, I pulled out of Grey’s arms, unable to meet his eyes. “This doesn’t concern her. I’ll call her myself tomorrow.”
Grey’s body tensed at the very obvious lie, and over his shoulder, I saw Dominic’s eyes narrow, but neither said anything. Instead, they each stepped up to press a kiss to my cheek before walking out, leaving Nate and me alone for the first time tonight. Well, alone, minus the hulking bodyguard in the corner.
A heavy beat of silence passed before he spoke. “Thank you for letting me stay tonight.” He didn’t try to leave, and I appreciated it. It had been too dangerous before. Now that he knew our plans, he had to stay close or he’d be a prime target for Cash’s men and a danger to us.
“Of course.” When he didn’t say anything else, I walked to the door. “I’ve got some work to do before bed. Tennessee will escort you to your room.”
Nate grabbed my elbow, and Tennessee straightened from his slouch against the wall, but I waved him off. I didn’t need his help to put Nate down; I just didn’t want to.
Tennessee glared but settled again when Nate dropped my arm.
“If you’re going to war because of me, don’t,” he pleaded. “You don’t know me well enough, but I’m telling you I’m not worth it.”
“You’re right,” I said softly. “We don’t know each other well, so let me be clear. I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing it because this is my city. I fought for it, struggled under the weight of it, I buried my family in its soil. It’s mine, and I always fight for what’s mine. I’m not going to let some no-good cockroach with a heightened sense of self-worth come in and destroy it just to prove he can.”
We were in each other’s space, breathing the same air. We hadn’t been this close since he’d rebuffed me, and I wanted to pull away. To show that he didn’t have any sway over me. But one look in his eyes told me he thought every word he said was the truth, and it hurt me to know that Nate thought so little of himself. That inside him, a piece of self-hatred dug deep into his psyche, telling him he had no value.
Pissed or not, I couldn’t accept that a man who’d stopped to help change a flat tire and stepped into an ambush, who’d protected me from a bomb blast when my rival blew up his car, wasn’t worth the fight.
“Just…don’t get into this for the wrong reasons.” Nate’s voice was heavy with unspoken worries, but he could keep them. I was too tired to pry.
“Even if I was, that’s my choice to make.” He nodded, and I curled my hands tighter, trying to stave off the urge to run my hand down his arm. Nate didn’t want my comfort, and I wasn’t going to use the time he was in my home as a way to get closer. He’d given me an answer, and I was going to respect it, no matter how much it sucked.
I turned back to my desk to start writing a list of names for the first wave of evacuations, letting him see himself out, when a thought hit me square in the chest.
Who did Nate care about? He hadn’t mentioned a partner, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have one or a family of his own.
“Nate?” He turned back, and I nodded to Tennessee. “Let us know if there’s anyone of yours we should be guarding too. Partner, spouse, kids, whoever. We’ll add them to the evacuation protocol.”
He nodded, gaze darting away, and I had my answer. There was someone out there he cared about, someone he wanted to protect. The same someone he would never tell me about, if the set of his shoulders was anything to go by. I didn’t blame him.
Nate and I had no real reason to trust each other, yet we kept ending up in situations that required it, either for our survival or the survival of those we loved. There was nothing I could do about it, except prove that I wasn’t going to fuck him over and vice versa, but that took time we didn’t have. Maybe by the end of everything, we’d be friendlier than we were before because friends were all we’d be. Friends.
I had too much self-respect to pine for a man who didn’t want me and clearly had someone else he did want.
“For what it’s worth, Nate…the moment you started working for me, you became mine too. I’ll fight for you like I’d fight for anyone else.”
A nod was his only answer as he let Tennessee shepherd him into the hallway and shut the door behind them. I focused on my list, trying not to let his final whispered words hold space in my head.
“Let’s hope it doesn’t get you killed.”