Chapter 31
D evi lay back against the bed with a groan. “No more. Full.”
And he hadn’t even eaten yet. She should have insisted that he eat before it grew cold. But her mind had still been stuck on his words.
If you’d let me, I’d feed you by hand for every meal.
Darn it. She wanted that so much. She could see it, taste it.
“Are you sure? You didn’t eat much,” he said with a frown.
“That was heaps for me,” she told him. “Honestly. You eat.”
He eyed her suspiciously, but started eating without argument. As he was finishing up, the nurse walked in.
“Oh, I see you found some better food,” she said with a smile. “The doctor will be doing his rounds soon and then I wondered if you wanted a shower.”
“I’ll take care of that,” Hayes said as he tidied up all the packaging.
The nurse gave him a surprised look. “Oh, well, it would likely be best if I helped.”
“Why?” he demanded.
“I can show Devi what to do so she can shower on her own in the future.”
“I’m her fiancé. I’m here to help her. She doesn’t need to do it herself. Now or in the future.”
Fiancé?
“Well, it still helps for the patient to know how to do things for themselves,” the nurse said stiffly.
“Devi doesn’t need to know. She has me and I’m not going anywhere. I’ll get her into the shower after the doctor has been in,” he said.
The nurse’s face grew stiff and she tensely took Devi’s vitals before leaving.
“Why are you saying you’re my fiancé?” Devi asked when she was out of the room.
“Told them that so that they would give me information about your care.”
Oh, that made sense.
She couldn’t help but imagine what it would feel like if it was true. A deep longing filled her even though she knew that would never happen.
“And because I intend to take care of you.”
“But you won’t always be here.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked. “We’ve been released from our job by Sondra. I have nowhere else to currently be.”
“No, I mean, when you return home,” she said. “I’ll be here alone. Although I don’t know how long I’ll be in the hospital for.”
They’d probably release her soon. She couldn’t stay in here forever.
He opened his mouth to say something, but then the doctor entered the room. Hayes sat there, taking in everything the doctor said.
“Miss Dawson? Devi?”
She glanced up to find the doctor staring down at her kindly. Her cheeks grew red as she realized he’d been talking to her while she’d been daydreaming.
“I’m sorry. What was that?”
“How are your pain levels? And is there anything else you need to ask me?”
“Oh, my pain level is fine,” she said. “How long will my arm be bandaged like this? When will I be able to start rehab? And when do you think it will be better?”
“Her pain level isn’t fine,” Hayes said in a low voice with a frown at her. “She’s lying because she doesn’t want to make a fuss but I’ve seen her wince a lot.”
“You must be honest with us, Miss Dawson,” the doctor told her. “We’ll see if we can add some more pain relief. Physical therapy can start tomorrow, it will be gentle and I’m afraid things will take a while. It’s not something that can be rushed.”
Right.
Awesome.
“Thank you.” She tried to smile at the doctor but it just wouldn’t come.
He left the room and Hayes drew back the blankets. “Come on, baby. Let’s get you in the shower.”
He really was going to help her in the shower?
“What?” she asked.
“Time to get into the shower.”
“I don’t . . . I’m not sure about . . .”
About you seeing me naked.
“Listen to me,” he said soothingly. “I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do. Understand? If you’d rather have the nurse or Silla help you, I will,” he swallowed, “step aside and let them help you.”
“Oh, you’ll let them?” Suddenly, she felt lighter as amusement filled her.
“Not easily,” he muttered. “And I don’t want to. Got to say I’m not used to doing things that I don’t want to do. But if it makes you feel more at ease . . . I’ll do it.”
“It . . . it doesn’t,” she said. “I don’t really want anyone to help me.”
“You need help, baby. You could fall over, could hurt yourself.”
Why did he care? She wanted to ask him that. But she was kind of scared to find out the answer.
“Would this be easier in Little headspace?” he asked.
Devi thought about that for a moment. She guessed it would be. Really, she should stop being a wimp and just let him help her. She should be grateful that someone wanted to help her.
“I don’t know . . . maybe.”
She’d let him take control the other day but it wasn’t exactly the same.
Then again, anything would be better than the way she felt right now, wouldn’t it?
Confused and scared.
“I guess I could try and slip into Little headspace.”
“I might be able to help.” He walked over to grab a bag that Donovan had carried into the room earlier with the food. Then he came back with Coco, her squirrel.
“How did you get Coco?” she asked, happiness flooding her. “I thought the police still hadn’t released the trailer.”
“They haven’t. They’re taking their time,” he grumbled. “Assholes. Probably because Gwen has been ripping them a new one.”
She had?
Shit. As much as she appreciated the sentiment, and the local cops likely deserved it, she still had to live here with them.
And she knew that some of the officers on the police force could be very vengeful.
So can you.
Yeah, but she had no power. And they held all the cards.
But she pushed that worry out of her mind. She was tired of thinking about the future. For the moment, all she could really manage was to live in the now.
The future was a really scary place right now. And maybe if she knew how to slip into Little headspace then she really would be able to live in the now.
“Does this help?” he asked as she hugged Coco tight with her good arm.
“I don’t know. I’ve tried to slip into Little headspace when I lived with Rohan and I knew that no one would be around. But I was never that successful and in this place, well, I . . .”
“It doesn’t feel private and safe. I get that. But Daddy will make it as safe as he can. No one will come into the bathroom. I’ll let Donovan know that we don’t want to be disturbed for the next hour. Do you think that will help?”
“Maybe,” she told him.
“Let’s see what I can do to help. Give me a few minutes. Stay in that bed.”
“Yes, Sir!”
“That’s yes, Daddy, to you.”