5. WINTER
WINTER
“Are you alright?”Scarlett asks the moment Antonio is gone and we’re alone again.
“Umm—”
“I’m guessing you know that guy?”
“Yeah. Unfortunately, I do,” I whisper, as I feel like I’m about to choke on the pressure building inside my throat, while trying my hardest not to cry right now.
“Well, that’s not good. What the hell is going on?” she questions. I wish I had an answer for her, heck I wish I had an answer for myself right now.
“I wish I had an answer for you, Scar. ButI have no clue what’s going on. The only thing I know for a fact is that I’ve been so fucking stupid! I thought I knew him; thought he was a friend, because he was there for me a few times. It was always so easy to talk to him, especially since my life at the time was an utter disaster. But now the jokes on me because I just met my stalker. He’s the person that’s been stalking me this entire time and I fell right into his fucking trap like the idiot that I am. He saved my life. Well, I thought he did. But now I know better, the asshole orchestrated the whole thing,” I say, my words leaving me on a cry, as I finally let the tears that were building fall while talking to her. My chest literally feels like it’s caving in on itself right now.
Betrayal…
Theonly word that comes to mind, that sums up what’s been happening in my life a lot lately.
EverywhereI turn.
EveryoneI blindly put my trust in.
There’sbeen some form of betrayal on their part, just lurking in the corner. I’m sick and tired of having to fight through the hurt and pain people keep throwing at me.
Thinkingabout it, I realize that I really am alone in this world. No one is really there for me. I’ve been battling everything on my own, well I’ve been trying to and it fucking sucks.
So alone…
Iknow I have people around me, but for the last little while I’ve felt like I was an outsider, looking in. Plus, I can’t forget that they’ve all done something to hurt me in one way or the other. The loneliness that engulfs me as I process that thought is so painful that I just want to curl up into a ball and cry for days.
Whenyou feel nothing but loneliness while surrounded by people, all you keep looking for is someone who will be there for you through all the bad days and through all your faults, flaws, and hang-ups.
You’lleventually just want to find that one person who will love you. And not just any love either. You want nothing more than to find that earth shattering, soul healing love that lets you know you’ve found your other half.
Butsometimes you do find your other half, only it turns out that they’re the ones that hurt you the most. They are the ones who make you question your existence, your sanity and most of all your worth.
They’rethe ones who make you bleed the most, because they’re the ones that will break you the worst. No matter how much you try to love them, or how much you try to give them every piece of you, they take it and destroy it. Leaving you with more cracked pieces than you had before.
Ithought Mason was my one. Thought he’d love me forever, just like I had from the moment we met as children. Even back then I knew that I wanted him to be a part of my life for years to come. Those green eyes of his captivated me like nothing else ever has.
Love is never easy, but I didn’t foresee him being my ruination…
NowI guess none of that matters because he wasn’t there for me when it would have counted. WhenI was losing my mind and needed him the most. He just tossed me aside without listening to my side of things. His hate for me became so real it felt like it was choking me day in and day out for months.
Hedidn’t care that I couldn’t breathe, since he was the one intent on snuffing my air out. The phantom pain of remembering feels like a new wave of agony is crushing me. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust him with my heart again. I don’t even know if I’m even capable of loving him anymore.
Fuckinghell, who am I kidding? I still do. I’ll never be able to stop but I don’t know how things will ever be the same again. He broke me but I still love him. What the hell does that say about me?
Ijust want to disappear from his life so I won’t have to see him anymore. I feel like the last bit of me, of who I used to be, is disappearing and there’s nothing but an empty and broken shell left in its place.
“It’ll be okay,” Scarlett says a moment later, bringing me out of my thoughts.
“You don’t really believe that do you?” I answer, a hollow laugh leaving me.
Shedoesn’t answer, but she doesn’t have to. We both know that nothing is ever going to be the same again, even if we do make it out of here alive.
Wespend the rest of the afternoon in silence. I guess we both have a lot on our minds. I just lay there on the bed and stare up at the ceiling. Thoughts of what’s going to happen to me here consuming me.
Itmust be hours later when one of the assholes working here brings dinner for both of us. He leaves it by our cage doors and then walks away, back in the direction he came from. It’s a plate that looks like something you’d get in prison then again, we are being imprisoned so I guess it’s fitting.
Idon’t move to touch mine; I just keep laying there. I don’t have the urge or even the willpower to, ever since Antonio the monster revealed himself to me, my stomach has been in knots. I hear the clanking of chains as Scarlett moves to get her food.
“You should probably eat something to keep your strength up. I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news but you’ll probably need all the energy you can get for whatever he has planned for you,” she tells me.
“I know. That’s what I’m worried about and that is what’s making me feel too queasy to even think about eating anything,” I tell her. “The not knowing what he has planned for me is pretty much killing me inside. I mean he must have a lot planned because he spent fucking months stalking me in the shadows, while pretending to be my friend in the light.”
“I’m sorry. I know it’s not much considering… but just know I’ll be here for you for as long as I’m in this cage opposite you,” she tells me.
“I appreciate it,” I tell her honestly, feeling choked up again. We’re in the same position so she can’t possibly betray me, right?
* * *
It’s a new day,and I know this because one of the men just brought breakfast for us. ThoughI’m still not able to eat anything. I didn’t sleep a wink at all last night and I can feel the headache starting to build already.
Inall honesty it’s because I’ve been on edge since Antonio left me yesterday. I never even ate the dinner they brought. NowI feel like a zombie. My mind has been in constant turmoil wondering what the hell he meant when he said that he was going to have so much fun with me. Definitely nothing good is what I know for sure.
Imanage to drag myself up and out of the bed to use the toilet to pee before going back. This time I sit on the bed with my back against the wall and my knees up to my chest. I rest my head on my knees and close my eyes for a second.
Itry to will the headache away, then I try to pray for sleep to claim me because sleeping away this horror sounds like a better idea, compared to being awake and overthinking it to death until I drive myself crazy.
Ihave no idea how long I sit there like that, since I have no concept of time anymore, but I lift my head up when I hear the sound of footsteps coming back down the hallway. I know for certain it isn’t dinner time yet so that can only mean that it’s him. I’m wary of what he could want when he finally appears in front of my cell.
“Well, hello, cara. I trust you slept well last night,” he says with a smirk on his face.
“Don’t call me that, asshole!” I snap at him. Right now, all I can think about is how much I hate him because of all the memories that word is bringing up. Memories of him helping me get through things and lending me a shoulder to cry on are now tainted, because it was all fake and nothing but manipulation on his part.
“Beautiful day, isn’t it?” he asks with a smile on his face, ignoring my little outburst just now. Right now, I want to do nothing more than slap myself silly.
Howdid I not see the evil that was lurking inside him? Because now that I’m watching him, I can see all the malice and callousness he’s no longer trying to hide.Oh, that’s right. I have the judgment of a dummy since I keep trusting the wrong people, constantly.
“I wouldn’t know what the day looks like since some asshole decided to lock me up in a place where there’s no fucking window!” I snap at him.
“I would apologize that the place is not up to par to what you’re used to, but if I did, I’d just be lying, since I’m not the least bit sorry,” he smirks.
“Figures. What the hell do you want then asshole? SinceI know this isn’t a fucking social call,” I sneer at him.
“Tsk, tsk. You should be a little nicer to me since your life is literally in the palm of my hands,” he says. WhatI’d really like to do is smash something over his head because his cocky attitude is just getting on my nerves.
“Nice? You don’t fucking deserve nice anymore. You deserve to be rotting in a fucking hole in the ground for being a monster!” I growl at him.
“No more of a monster than your boyfriend. Tell me did it get you wet when he treated you like a slut? And like you meant less than nothing to him?” he questions.
Idon’t answer. I keep my facial expression passive, like I couldn’t care less about what he’s saying. But fuck, if his words don’t slice through me and dig deep into my chest, like I’m sure he meant for them to, though I won’t give him the satisfaction of seeing that shit.
“No response? Don’t worry though, if that was what made you wet then you have some of that to look forward to soon,” he says gleefully. My stomach turns at his words. He means every word of what he’s saying and I know he’s planning something horrible for me. I silently pray that my brother finds me, otherwise I’m going to be dead soon. I can already see it in his eyes…
“Why are you doing this?” I finally break the silence to ask him.
“Because it’s so much fun. I’m going to make you pay for choosing the wrong person,” he tells me.
“What do you mean? I didn’t know I had to choose between anything,” I say, since I have no idea what he’s talking about.
“I originally went to Ravenwood to kill you obviously, but then I was intrigued. I gave you the option to choose me but you chose that asshole instead. And just so you know if you’d have chosen me then you wouldn’t be in this situation right now. But you just had to be another stuck-up rich bitch,” he sneers at me.
“How fucking magnanimous of you,” I snort. “You’re seriously insane! How the fuck could I have chosen you when I don’t fucking love you? And what’s your problem with rich girls? You got mommy issues? She didn’t love you enough or something?”
Mywords must have struck a nerve or something because he grabs the key from his pocket, opens the door to my cage and storms right up to me, backhanding me across the face, before I even know what the hell is happening.
Thesound of the slap echoes around the room and the sting I feel is instant, causing tears to pool in my eyes right away. I hold them in though, refusing to let them fall in front of this asshole.
“Watch how the fuck you’re talking to me. I have no qualms in putting a bullet through your skull right this instant,” he seethes.
“Then what are you waiting for? Do it asshole!” I snap, not caring if I’m aggravating him. That would be more merciful than whatever he has planned for me, right? I’m thinking it would be.
“No, I’m not going to let you get off easy. At least not until I’ve had my fun,” he gloats.
“Asshole,” I grumble. He takes the key and unlocks the cuffs around my ankles.
“Come on, I have a little game for us to play today,” he tells me, sounding pleased with himself.
Idon’t even think I just follow my instincts and lunge for him. I try to hit him and fight, so that I can get out of here, but he’s faster and obviously anticipated my move because he deflects me.
Hegrabs me by the hair and slams me face first into the wall. I let out a scream as my face and head collided with the hard and unforgiving wall. Fuck! That hurt.
“Don’t fucking test me, before I break a leg and then you won’t get your chance to escape,” he says and I instantly go still and turn to look at him, well as much as I can turn since my face is still smashed up against the wall. “Oh, I see that got your attention.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I’m going to give you one chance to escape. If you make it, then you’re free to go. If you don’t, well then, you’re stuck here,” he tells me with a glint in his eyes. A glint that I don’t trust. I just know the asshole is going to cheat somehow and I won’t be given a fair attempt to escape.
“What’s the catch?” I ask him.
“You’re going to have to work for it. Now let’s go,” he tells me as he begins to drag me along with him down the corridor and up the stairs. Looks like this prison is in the basement or dungeon or whatever.
Whenwe make it to the top of the stairs, we’re in a small room. He pushes me in front of him to keep walking and go out the door. I follow his directions and when I step outside, I take a look back to see that we just came out of a shed that’s at the back of this place.
Iturn back around and take a good look at my surroundings and in front of me, I see the huge mansion that sits at the center of the land. I wonder who the hell lives here or owns this place. But then again, maybe I don’t want to since the asshole is partly responsible for my being here.
Theland itself is huge and surrounded by high concrete fences that have barbed wire at the top. Guess they’re all about keeping people out, well probably more like keeping people like me and Scarlett in.
Theonly other thing I see surrounding this place are trees. Fucking trees everywhere! Which means that there’s probably no one around for miles and miles.
Thereare also heavily armed guards with large guns strapped to their fronts, patrolling the entire property line. From what I can see there’s a guard hut at the back and there’s probably one at the front too. I gulp at how fucking impossible trying to get out of here would be.
“What are we doing out here?” I ask Antonio. I’m definitely not in the mood for whatever the fuck he’s up to. I’m already sweating from the sun’s heat beating down on me. It definitely looks like it’s the middle of the day.
“I’m giving you a chance to escape,” he tells me as a smirk flits across his face. Somehow, I just know that it won’t be as easy as that. There has to be some sort of catch.
“What do I have to do?” I ask him anyway. What do I have to lose besides my life? And since I’m at that point where I really don’t care for it anymore, what’s the worst that could happen?
“We’re going to play a little game of hide and seek. I’ll let you run and if you make it to the other side of the woods and find the road before I catch you, then you’re free to go,” he tells me. I look at him to see if I can tell if he’s being truthful, but he has his poker face on. For once he isn”t smirking at me but I know that means nothing. It’s just another way for him to toy with me.
“Fine, let’s go then,” I mutter.
“Eager, are we?” he asks, laughing now.
Idon’t know how the fuck this is going to work, since all I have on are a pair of shorts, a tank top, and no shoes. Someone changed my clothes after the wreck or when they brought me here, but I’m not even going to think about that right now.
“Not in the least. But the faster I can get away from your ugly face the better,” I snap at him.
Ugh! We all know he isn’t. He is in fact very fucking handsome which is totally unfair if you ask me. Why couldn’t he be just as hideous as his soul seems to be? Life really is cruel sometimes.
Hedoesn’t answer, just laughs instead as he begins to walk toward the gated fence at the back, motioning for me to follow him. One of the guards opens the gate as we get closer and Antonio walks right through with me behind him. Once we’re a few feet away from the gate, he stops, turns to look at me, and utters one word.
“Run.”
Idon’t even hesitate or stop to think, for once doing exactly as he says. I take off at a sprint, making my way into the woods.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Itquickly becomes apparent that I’m fucked, because the trees are spaced out in certain areas which means I’ll have a hard time finding places to hide. Doesn’t matter though because I’m still going to try.
“Run, run as fast as you can…” I hear the asshole taunt after me while laughing. I’m so fucking glad at least one of us finds this shit funny. Not!
Idon’t even look back at him, I just run and keep on running. A few minutes later I start to feel stitches in my side and have to stop for a bit. I hide behind a tree and take deep breaths to calm my breathing to find some sort of Zen spot in my mind. I’m worried I’m going to have an anxiety attack or even a seizure with the predicament I’m in. Wouldn’t that be the icing on this fucking cake of disaster?
Holyshit! I need to work on my cardio and steps if I make it out of this alive. I definitely didn’t have any of this shit on my bingo card for this year. This truly has been such an awful fucking year and I hate it.
Ascream rips out of me a moment later when a motherfucking bullet whizzes right past my head, hitting the tree in front of me. I fucking knew the asshole wasn’t going to play fair!
Itake off running again all the while his laugh continues to taunt me. I only make it a few more steps when a shriek of agony explodes from me because of a sudden pain in my leg. I stumble, and not watching where I’m going, I end up sliding down a small hill of some kind landing at the bottom with my head slamming into a huge rock.
“Fuck!” I cry out as even more pain assaults me. I look down to see blood running down my leg and when I inspect it, I see that there’s a bullet lodged in there and it fucking hurts.
Itry to stand up and have to grab onto the stupid rock that hit me in the head when my legs buckle from under me because of the intense agony I’m currently in. AsI stand back up, dizziness hits me. I have a limp as I try to walk, not even making it two steps, when I hear him behind me.
“Well, that was the most underwhelming chase I’ve ever been on,” he says and I have to try my hardest not to let the tears of frustration out right now.
“That wasn’t fair, asshole! You’re nothing but a lying and cheating scumbag!” I snap at him through my labored breaths. I can feel the blood still running down my leg, it doesn’t feel like it’s going to stop anytime soon. I seriously feel like I’m about to pass out.
“I never said that you had a fair chance. AllI said was that you had a chance,” he says with an evil smirk on his face. “And now that that’s done, it’s time to have some fun. Chasing you has made me super hard, and it’s about time you give me what I’m owed.”
Athis words I start to back away. I spin around and try to run but shit the exertion this is taking on my body is too much. I’m losing blood and I don’t even know how much I’ve lost already.
Notthat running would have helped me because a moment later he’s grabbing me by the hair and pulling me back so hard that I fall to the ground. A groan escapes me as I land on my back.
Amoment later he’s kneeling down and over me as he starts to tug the shorts and panties I was wearing off. I start to scream and fight, kicking and punching to try and get away but he’s so much stronger than me.
Hepins me down with a hand on my neck, squeezing so hard that I think I’m going to pass out due to lack of air. Just as my vision starts to turn hazy he removes his hand from my neck and then successfully pulls my pants and panties off.
Imanage to flip myself over and try to crawl away from him but I don’t get far. He walks over to me and stomps his foot down onto my back which causes me to drop and land on my stomach. He straddles my legs from behind and in the next moment, digs his thumb into the wound on my leg which causes me to let out another agony filled scream.
“Were you going somewhere, cara?” he asks as he pulls his finger out of the hole in my leg. I groan at the pain. JesusChrist! This shit feels like it’s burning me from the inside out.
“Fuck you, asshole!” I manage to get out through panting breaths.
“Your wish is my command, cara,” he tells me and a moment later I hear the unmistakable sound of his zipper being pulled down and I instantly begin to panic again.
Tearsstart to stream down my face when he pins me in place and shoves my head into the ground, thrusting inside me a moment later. I try to scream at the instant pain I feel but it’s muffled by the dirt I’m currently eating.
Isob and kick my legs but it’s to no avail as he keeps slamming inside me. I can hear the sounds of our slapping flesh all around us. AllI want to do is throw up, as he continues to fuck me.
“Fuck! You feel so good, cara,” he groans and I close my eyes tightly, wishing I could go away somewhere inside my head for the moment.
Is it normal to feel the last bit of your soul crack and die? Because if it is, I think I just felt mine do that.
Idon’t know if I’ll ever be whole again after this and the thought makes my chest ache something fierce.
Withthe last bit of strength, I have I try to buck him off of me again, but he just laughs as he pushes his finger in my wound again all the while he’s still pumping his hips in and out of me. I feel so disgusting right now and I just want it all to stop.
Whatdid I ever do to deserve this much heartache and this much pain? Why me? I think as I sob into the ground. I’m blocking out what’s happening to me right now and that’s probably for the best. He’s still grunting and his groans sound pleasure filled.
How can one person be feeling pleasure while the other is dying inside? I hate this world…
Amoment later he’s groaning and I feel the unmistakable sensation of him coming and his sounds of ecstasy have me feeling sick to my stomach. He releases my head and gets up off me and I quickly turn away and vomit. I can’t even lift my head to do it properly, so it’s just next to my face which is disgusting.
Myentire body is on fire now and in the next moment I know that I’m fucked. The tingle starts in my arms and legs and my body begins to shake uncontrollably as a seizure starts to hit me.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he asks, as he flips me over onto my back.
Ican’t reply because the seizure is still racking my body with jerky movements and I’m having difficulty breathing, hoping I don’t choke.
Amoment later I start to feel weightless, like my body is floating as my mind drifts away. Confusion filling my brain. AmI going to die like this? I don’t know what will become of me. WillI wake up or not? Because in the next moment I lose all consciousness as everything goes dark.