22. WINTER
WINTER
WhenI wokeup this morning, I was in some type of mood that I couldn’t really describe. I just wanted to keep to myself and not talk to anyone. My brother and Grayson didn’t seem to mind since they both seemed to understand my various mood swings these days.
Butobviously, that was different with Mason. I could see that he was exasperated with the change in me this morning, but I have to give him props. He was trying to be patient and considerate, but I could see he was struggling big time.
Iknow it’s because I did a whole one-eighty from last night, especially after all the intimacy we shared between us. And maybe, it’s that intimacy that’s causing all my current issues this morning. It was just too much, it felt like when we were together before. We connected more last night than we had at any other time in the last few months.
Iguess I can’t lie, I got fucking scared, after all that intimacy last night. I was too lost in my head to say anything, as we made our way to the airport. And still while on the flight, even though I felt his presence next to me and he was never far, I said nothing.
Hetook care of me like I was a child and again, I hate to admit this, but I kind of liked it. He went on his whole I need to eat tirade, then he helped me get ready and when we were on the jet, he made sure I was buckled and everything. It felt nice being taken care of after going without it for so long.
Nowhere we are, about to get off the jet in Ravenwood. I’m suddenly nervous to be back here, even though it’s home. I know I was the one who insisted we come back, but now I’m not so sure. I just didn’t want to be there anymore, hiding away like I did something wrong.
Ijust want my life to go back to normal. Well, as normal as I can make it seem, but this time without the attempted hits on my life. I just want to forget all the things that have happened to me and move on.
Iwalk down the aisle and toward the open door and I can feel Mason’s hand on the small of my back the entire way. I come to a stop abruptly when we get to the door and I see all the men and cars lined up there on the tarmac and waiting.
Iturn around to look at him and I’m sure he sees the questions in my eyes but I don’t ask them and he doesn’t offer an answer either. He just smiles and grabs a hold of my hand, moving down the steps in front of me and I have no choice but to follow.
Oncewe’re on the ground we quickly get into the vehicles, Hunter and Grayson following us into the same one and then we’re off. It doesn’t take long for me to notice that we’re not heading for the apartment, but in the opposite direction.
“Where are we going?” Grayson asks and I’m thankful that he does, since I’m still not ready to speak, even though I’m curious as fuck.
“You’ll see soon enough. It’s a surprise,” Mason says.
Wedrive for a little while longer until we’re almost on the outskirts of town. We pull up to these huge iron gates and when they open we begin to drive through, I’m curious as fuck.
Wedrive down the long driveway and a moment later a large white mansion comes into view. At first glance it’s absolutely beautiful. The second thing I notice is the big marquee letter signs he had put up on the front lawn and a gasp escapes me.
Oneof them reads welcome home and the other one reads I love you. I’m sorry and please forgive me. They’re decorated with balloons taped to the letters and all around them.
Whenthe SUV comes to a stop in front of the doors and we all get out my brother lets out a whistle. I turn around and just stand there looking at the words on the lawn. Mason says something to the men who were waiting for us at the airport, though I can’t say what, but a moment later they leave and go their own way. I watch them and that’s when I also notice the other men that are currently patrolling the grounds.
Holyhell! What did I walk in on here? I know I saw the sign, but I still need to know so I break my silence.
“What is this place? Why are we here?” I’m pretty certain he’s lost his mind or something.
“This, my love, is our new home,” he tells me.
“You bought us a mansion?”
“Yep.”
“Why?”
Wehave a whole convo on how this is where we’ll be living together since he doesn’t want us to be apart anymore. About how much safer this place is going to be for me since he’s hired round-the-clock security. He promises that he’ll protect me, no matter what. All of that before he lifts me off my feet bridal style and carries me through the front door, like we’re newlyweds. This is too much to process and I’m suddenly feeling overwhelmed again.
“Are you tired? Do you want to take a nap?”
“Uh, yes please,” I tell him since that would probably be the best thing for me to do right now, since I’m beginning to have a headache as well. This is too much shit being dumped on me at once.
Hecarries me up the stairs like I don’t have my own two legs to walk on, but who wants to tell this idiot that? If he wants to carry me then fine, more pressure on him, I guess. He takes us all the way to the master bedroom and then he lays me down gently on the bed.
“Is this my room?”
“No.”
“Then why did you bring me in here?”
“Because it’s not yours, it’s ours.”
“Well, I want my own room,”
“No.”
“Why? This mansion has a lot of empty rooms,”
“Because you’re mine. Soon you’ll be my wife and I don’t want my wife sleeping in a separate room.”
“You say that like it’s a certainty.” I snort.
“It is. Even if you still hate me, you’re always going to belong to me. I’m sorry babe, but like I said before I can’t give you up.”
“What if I disappear?”
“I’ll find you,” he tells me and before I can answer him, he cuts me off. “Do you want me to lay here with you until you fall asleep?”
“N-no, I’m okay.”
“Okay baby. I’ll be right downstairs if you need anything,” he tells me before dropping a kiss to my forehead and I just nod my head in response. Dammit! He’s always making me soften with those damn forehead kisses.
Ilay on the bed not wanting to move yet and just glance around the room. Everything looks expensive and chic. I don’t even know why I’m thinking about money when we’re both rich as hell. I can’t seem to wrap my mind around the fact that he bought a mansion for us or the fact that this is home now.
Ofcourse, the ass doesn’t leave well enough alone and a few minutes later he’s back with a bowl of soup and juice, but I’m not even hungry. Of course, we have a bit of a skirmish and I end up eating said soup anyway, with him feeding me as usual. Sigh.
“Later after you’ve rested, I’ll give you a tour of the mansion and introduce you to the staff,” he tells me when I’m done eating. He tucks me in, giving me another kiss on the head before he leaves again.
Imust lay in bed for an hour or so not getting any sleep. I don’t know what the fuck is bothering me, since the bed is soft and comfy as hell. I lay there for a while more until I can’t take it anymore, so I get up and head downstairs.
Iwalk around checking out some things here and there until I hear noise coming from the den. I walk slowly to the door and open it to see Gray and my brother on the two ends of one of the couches playing video games. Ugh, they’re such guys! I walk in and take a seat in the middle of them and lay my head on my brother’s shoulder.
“Hey, squirt, what are you doing up? I thought you were supposed to be taking a nap,” he says, as he pauses the game.
“Couldn’t sleep. My brain won’t shut off.”
“You need to relax. Just take it easy because you’re going to have nothing but good days from now on,” he tells me and then a moment later he’s repositioning me so that my head is on his lap, while my feet are on Grayson’s.
“I agree with your brother. I want nothing but the best for you from now on sis,” Grayson says as he puts his controller down and then begins to massage my feet. It feels so good that a sigh escapes me.
“Where’sMason?” I ask, since I know he would have sniffed me out already if he was here, probably just to lecture me to death about being out of bed, the ass.
“He went out. He had to take care of something with the guys,” Hunter tells me.
“Okay. So, what do you guys think of this house? I mean it’s so big and over the top don’t you think?”
“What, you don’t like it? I’m sure if you tell him he’d buy you another one, since he’s so whipped as fuck,” Hunt says and both him and Gray laugh.
“Welll…”
“You do like it, don’t you?” Gray asks with a smirk on his face.
“Shut it, mister!”
“Admit it, sis.”
“Fiiineeee! Okay, I do. It’s definitely something I would have picked out myself,” I grumble.
“Don’t think I’m picking up for him or anything but I’m just saying, alright. He loves you. I know deep down he’s kicking his own ass for everything he—we—all put you through. But don’t forget he knows you the best out of all of us and I know he’s trying to be better,” Grayson says sincerely.
“Yeah, I’ve seen that too little sis. I know he’s sorry and he’s been trying to make it up to you and I’m not telling you what to do or telling you that your feelings aren’t valid, but just be careful. He hides it pretty well but he’s on the verge of falling over the edge,” Hunter says next and I swallow the lump in my throat.
“What do you mean?”
“He’s trying to be everything you need. Do everything you want, but he’s also hurting. I know it’ll take time to forgive him, that is, if you even want to. I’m not saying you have to do it right this minute, but if you’re going to, just do it before he loses faith in himself and goes off the deep end. I like the ass and I don’t want either of you to get hurt, when it all eventually comes to a head,” my brother says and I suddenly feel choked up.
Ilook at the clock, noting the time passed by quickly and I’ve been down here for a while, so I decide to head back upstairs.
“I’m tired. I’m going to go back upstairs,” I tell them both.
“I didn’t mean to make you upset sis. I was just giving you some friendly advice and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, always remember that.”
“You didn’t upset me. I’m just finally tired now.”
“Go get some rest then. Love you,” he tells me before placing a kiss on my forehead.
“Love you, too.”
“Love you too, sis,” Gray says and also proceeds to give me a kiss on the forehead before I head back upstairs to the master bedroom.
Itake a shower and cry for a while, just feeling my emotions bubbling up in me. I think back to everything the guys said and I honestly don’t know what to do. I know he’s trying, but I just don’t know…
OnceI’m done in the shower, I walk over to the closet to see if there’s anything in there to wear to bed and I’m surprised when I open it to see that it’s a huge walk-in closet. What surprises me the most is the fact that it’s filled from top to bottom with both of our clothes. Seeing our clothes together like that just fills me with… not sure what, but it’s something.
Igrab a pair of pajamas and then making sure that the nightlight is on, I crawl into bed. I slide under the covers, suddenly feeling exhausted and in no time I’m out like a light.
* * *
Hands won’t stop touching me, won’t stop grabbing for me. It feels like many of them are reaching for me. Fingers clamp down on my arm and they squeeze my flesh painfully. I let out a scream and try to pull away from the hold that this person—no, these monsters—have on me.
It’s useless because the grip just tightens and it feels like the fingers are searing through my flesh. It’s so painful and I just want it to stop, but it won’t no matter how hard I try to get away. Then all of a sudden there’s a sinister laugh coming from right next to my ear. The laugh is sickening and heinous, terrifying.
“Did you think that you could get away from me so easily? You’ll always belong to me,” a sinister voice whispers in my ear and I let out a scream.
“Noooo!” I scream back at the voice while sobs rack my body.
Ilet out a gasp and a whimper as I jerk out of my sleep. My heart races, even as I realize that it was just a dream. My body trembles a little as I work to reassure myself that I’m safe and he can’t get to me anymore. Because he’s dead and Mason was the one to kill him.
Mynerves are frayed. Why can’t that asshole just leave me the hell alone? He’s there when I sleep and even when I’m awake and it’s just getting overwhelming at this point. I lay there on the bed alone breathing in and out, working to calm myself down, like the stupid therapist at the cabin taught me. Until my breathing slows down and I no longer feel like my heart is about to beat out of my chest.
Iwipe the tears that I had no idea were slipping down my cheeks until I felt they were wet. It honestly feels like I’m losing my goddamn mind every single day and I don’t know how to break this cycle.It’s just one never-ending fuckery after the other.
Everytime I close my eyes he’s there. Even when my eyes are open and I’m just existing, thoughts of him slip through the cracks of my psyche and I hate how all of this just makes me feel weak. I want to get better, but I don’t know how. The weight of it all is crushing me and I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to go on like this.
WhenI’m a little calmer, I sit up in bed. I’m still alone. Not sure if Mason is back yet or not. I hate to admit that I need him, but I do. Whenever he’s sleeping next to me, I don’t have the nightmares. It’s like his presence just keeps them away.
Ireach over to the nightstand to grab the bottle of water I have there, that’s when I become aware of my surroundings and realize that I’m not alone in the room after all. I finally look up and with the faint light from the nightlight I see that someone is sitting on the chair by the window.
Atfirst, I think it’s Mason and he just wasn’t ready to come to bed yet, but when I look up at the face, all I can see is my father’s face. I’m in shock, as I blink rapidly, but the face is still there.
Okay, I think I know what’s happening here… I’ve finally lost my mind and now I’m hallucinating. That’s the only logical explanation, right? A moment later, he stands and starts to move toward me. That is my cue to get the fuck out of here.
Iscramble off the bed from the other side and quickly sprint toward the door. I fling it open and fly down the stairs like my life depends on it, well it might, since I’m on the verge of going crazy.
I’mscreaming, crying, on the cusp of hyperventilating as I rush toward the den. As soon as I make it to the door, Mason sees me and rushes over to me.
“Baby. Baby! Calm down. What’s the matter, are you hurt?” he quickly asks, while checking me over to make sure I’m not injured.
“I-I-I….”
“Just calm down and tell me what happened. Take your time,” he tells me while pulling me into his chest. He rubs his hand up and down my back in a soothing motion. I pull my head away from his chest a moment later and look up at his face.
“I-I think I’m losing my mind and seeing ghosts. Help me!” I beg.
“What did you see?”
“I saw m-m-my father in the room. I can’t deal with this anymore, I’m going insane,” I cry into his chest.
“What is wrong with you, you fuck? I told you to wait until she woke up and we eased her into it before she saw you!” Mason growls. I look up at his face and see he’s looking at the door to the den. I twist my head to look behind me and I see my father standing there.
Ilet out another scream while backing away from Mason and the door. In the next instant my brother is behind me and he wraps his arm around me.
“Calm down, sis. You’re not going crazy. He’s real,” he whispers.
“Hi, baby girl,” my father says and I burst into gut-wrenching sobs. He walks over to me, pulling me into his arms. I sob even harder because it’s been so long since I’ve felt one of his hugs. I thought it would never happen again because he was supposed to be fucking dead!
“Yo-you’re real,” I whisper.
“I am and I’m so sorry for everything, baby girl,” he says, and just like that, I become angry. So, fucking angry. I push away from him forcefully and take a step back from all of them. The guys including my father are all standing by the couch, while I’m all the way over by the fireplace.
“Explain now! And don’t fucking leave anything out,” I snarl at him. I’m happy that he’s alive but there’s so much I don’t know.
“Well, um, I found out that Emilia and Alister were coming after me and I made a plan to fake my death, so I could gather information to take them down. But they came for me before I had everything in place and I had to put my plan into action sooner than I would have liked,”
“Why would you let me believe that you were dead for so long?” I yell at him, feeling my chest ache with the unbearable pain of his betrayal.
“Trust me sweetheart. It wasn’t supposed to go down how it did.”
“That’s just it, I don’t fucking trust you!” I snap at him. “Tell me about that day.”
“Well, Alister had someone crash into my car and I almost died for real. ButI didn’t, so I had my doctor get the silicone replica of me ready, that way Alister would think I was dead. That’s why they took so long to inform you. I had to get everything ready. I didn’t think he’d go after you the way he did though. ButI had thought Mason would protect you, not make shit worse,” he growls looking at Mason like he wants to kill him.
“So, you lied to me and have been lying to me for months, by having me think you were dead! How fucked up is that, Dad?” I mutter putting emphasis on his name.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I never meant for any of what happened to you to happen.”
“Did you know?” I ask my brother. He doesn’t answer, but from the guilty look on his face I know that he knew all along. Tears stream down my face at his betrayal.
“Please let me explain sis—” he starts but I cut him off and turn to look at Mason.
“What about you? Did you know?”
“No. I only found out earlier when I got back home, after taking care of something.” he says and I nod. Just then a thought comes to mind and I turn to look back at my father.
“Were you the one who sent me documents and a video when the SEC and FBI was looking into the company for insider trading and the whole trafficking thing at the hotel?” I ask and he shakes his head.
“Yeah sweetheart. I was gathering evidence when all of that happened. I had those already by the time the feds were looking into the company, so I thought I’d help anonymously of course,” he says.
“So, you took care of your company while it was in trouble but couldn’t let me know you were alive, when I was in trouble as well?”
“Sweetheart—”
“I want the two of you to stay away from me! You care so much about your company; you can have that shit back! Take my name out of your will and remove me from your company because I don’t want to be your heir anymore! Give it all to my darling brother over there!” I scream at them.
“HoneyI?—”
“I hate you both for doing this to me!” My breathing starts to come in heavy pants like I’m about to have a panic attack. I take deep breaths to calm my racing heart because I don’t want to have a seizure or panic attack right now.
“Babe, you need to calm?—”
“Stay away from me too! Fuck! I can’t trust any of you! You’ve all done shit to hurt me in some way and I don’t need any more of it!”
Imake a mad dash out of the room and when I’m passing by the kitchen, I see a few keys to what I guess are the various vehicles Mason has. I grab one of them before sprinting out the front door, not caring that I’m only in my pajamas right now. I just need to get out of here.
Ipress the fob once I’m outside and one of the vehicles beeps and unlocks. I hear footsteps coming behind me and I rush for the vehicle, getting in, then immediately locking the doors, and turning the key in the ignition. I peel out of the driveway and head down toward the gates. I’m surprised when they open, though I didn’t care if they didn’t because I was going to drive straight through if I had to.
Imake a right when I pass by the gates, heading in the direction of the apartment. I just need to be away from everyone right now. I know they’re probably coming after me but I don’t look back, I just concentrate on the road.
I’mabout halfway to the apartment building downtown when a car drives through the intersection at full speed and slams right into me. I let out a scream, the impact disorienting, as shattered glass rains over me.
Mycar spins around a few times before I feel the car ram into me again sending mine straight into a tree. The impact of the hit causes my entire body to jolt in pain as my head slams into the steering wheel. Fuck! Everything hurts right now. I let out a groan when I see blood, it’s quite a lot, though I’m not sure where it’s coming from. The last thing I hear is squealing tires, as everything goes black.