Chapter Twenty-eight
Carter
The gentle knock on my door comes precisely at midnight. I put down my book, flick off the light, and cross the room, taking a moment to check that everything is perfect.
Kenna’s eyes go wide when I open the door. Not because I’m naked—what’s the point in that when having her undress me will be half the fun? Her attention sweeps from one side of the room to the other, taking in the dozen or so candles of various shapes and sizes.
“You had all this?” Her eyes narrow. “Just how many times have you done this before?”
“This…” —I motion to the bed— “a few.” I wink at her and continue, “This…” —I nod to the largest grouping of candles on top of my dresser— “never.”
“Never?” Her hands land on her hips. “So you just happened to have all these candles lying around?”
I shrug. “Bought them during my lunch break today.”
“You…” Her head cocks to the side. “Really?”
I pull her through the doorway, shut and lock the door, then press her against the wall and run my tongue down the side of her neck. “Really.”
Her arms pebble with gooseflesh when I push aside the two halves of her robe, brush it off her shoulders, and let it fall to the floor. I doubt the reaction has anything to do with the temperature outside.
She’s wearing the same sexy, satiny, two-piece sleep set she’s worn every night.
I could look at her like this for the rest of my life and the sight would never get old.
Her hair is swept to one side, cascading down in soft waves over her left breast. The flicker of the candlelight reflects in her luminous eyes.
But the absolute best thing I see right now has nothing to do with her hair, her body, her clothes.
It’s the way she’s gazing up at me. The prolonged intense fixation of her stare makes me feel seen. Valued. Revered.
Not in an I want to fuck you kind of way. More in an I love you kind of way.
I’m not sure I trust myself not to say it to her. Because I’m positive it’s the way I feel. Could I let her go without telling her?
A vision assaults me. I’m running after her car as it pulls down the street away from me. I’m shouting, “Kenna, come back. I love you!” as my neighbors watch on, all of them feeling sorry for the pathetic, desperate, lovesick guy I’ve morphed into over the past two weeks.
I’m going to tell her before she leaves. But not now. And definitely not in front of an audience. Not that it will change her mind. I get the idea nothing could do that.
But I want her to know I’ll be here. That this is a safe place. That my feelings for her won’t change just because we’re a thousand miles apart. That if and when she decides to come back, I’ll be waiting.
Yup. I’ve definitely entered pathetic territory.
Instead of dwelling on what tomorrow might bring, I decide to immerse myself in the here and now.
I sweep her into my arms, carry her across the room, and lay her on my bed.
“Nobody has ever done anything like this for me.”
I hover over her. “I’d like to do a lot of things to you tonight that nobody has ever done.”
She smiles and loosens the tie on my sweatpants. “Then we are definitely overdressed.”
I laugh, wholeheartedly agreeing. “Take off my shirt, Kenna.”
Fire burns in her eyes as she happily complies.
“Now my pants.”
Her brow cocks. “Are you getting off on bossing me around?”
“I… uh—”
She giggles. “I’m kidding, Carter. It’s sexy.” She sits up, puts her hand on my chest, and pushes me down onto the bed. “You’re not the only one who wants to do things that have never been done.”
With that, she removes my pants and boxer briefs, then grips my erection. Before I can wrap my head fully around what she said, her mouth is gliding up and down my dick.
A question looms in my head. Does she mean things we’ve never done? Or things she’s never done? As in, is this the first blow job she’s ever given? Or simply the first one she’s given me?
Sooooo wanting it to be the former, my head falls back onto the pillow as I enjoy the seal of her lips. The swirl of her tongue. The tickle of her fingers.
Blow jobs are great. Amazing even. But while hot, they lack the intimate, engaging, shared experience of full-on sex. To me, they’re like the opening band. The show before the headliner. The JV to the varsity. Never should they be the main attraction.
I begin to change my tune, however, when her selfless act has me reeling, spinning, falling, and I come gloriously apart under her ministrations in such a powerful way I could swear I see God. And this is heaven.
“Wow.” It’s the one and only word I can get out.
She scoots up next to me. “So it was… okay?”
I blow out a long, controlled breath. “Jesus, Kenna. It was more than okay. It was the best.”
Her triumphant smile all but confirms my previous suspicion, and suddenly, I feel ten feet tall.
I grip her hand. “As soon as I can move, I promise to return the favor.”
She giggles and snuggles into my shoulder. And this. This right here. Her in my bed. By my side. It’s the only thing I need for the rest of my goddamn life.
Her breath caresses my neck as her fingers casually graze my chest. It only takes a few minutes of this to recharge my battery.
After I make good on my promise—hoping she too saw the Almighty Lord—I flip her over onto her stomach, pull her hips to mine, and enter her from behind.
She perches herself on a pillow and pushes back against me, thrust for thrust. Our bodies slap together, a cacophony of slippery sounds coming from the very place we’re joined. It’s sexy as all hell.
Wanting to prolong this experience—and have her all the other ways I’ve dreamed of as I strive to figure out which position is best for her—I pull out.
She groans greedily when I don’t immediately push back inside.
I grin, flip her onto her back, and drape her legs over my shoulders.
My ass on my heels and my thighs supporting her lower back, I pump into her a dozen times as my thumb works over her clit.
She moans heavily. She likes this one. I take it a step further and pull one of her legs across my torso and drape it across my opposite hip.
Our legs are tangled like a pretzel, and I really like this position.
We enjoy the depth and angle of doggy style while still maintaining eye contact.
Still, I need more.
I sit up, pulling her with me to the edge of the bed. Planting my feet on the floor, I guide her until we’re face-to-face and she’s straddling me. She sinks down onto me, and we’re eye-to-eye, gazing deep into each other, a breath stroking each other’s bodies in synchronous rhythm.
“My turn,” she whispers into my ear right before she pushes me back onto the bed.
I like the look and feel of her on top of me, so I scoot back, bringing her with me, still connected, until I’m fully lying down. She hovers over me, gazing down into my eyes as she takes the reins and begins sliding up and down along my shaft.
Fuuuuck me. I don’t know about her, but this is my favorite position. This isn’t the first time I’ve done it this way. But it might as well be, because it’s never felt like this before. Ever.
Both of us building and getting to the point of no return, she rides me like her life depends on it. Her hips buck. She slams against me over and over. Knowing how close she is, I strive to heighten her experience. I knead her breasts. Pinch her nipples. Run circles on her clit with my thumb.
She pants and grunts and mewls and utters the sexiest fucking sounds as her walls squeeze my dick hard and then pulsate against me.
“Jesus… Kenna… fuck…” My hands fly to her hips and my fingers dig into her flesh as she draws out the last of my spectacular orgasm.
She collapses down onto my chest, and I wrap my arms around her and hold her against me. We lie like this for minutes, our breathing evening out.
Rolling off me, our bodies part with a telltale noise and I stiffen as I glance down at my glistening bare cock.
“Ah, shit.”
“What is it?”
“Kenna, I’m sorry. I didn’t use a condom.”
I expect her to dart up, run to the bathroom, and leave my room in a huff. But she does none of that.
She perches on an elbow. “How long has it really been for you? Mia said it’s been a year.”
“Give or take.”
“So neither of us has been with anyone in a while. And I’m on the pill. Unless there’s something you haven’t told me, I’d guess we’re okay.”
I’m flooded with relief. “I always use condoms.” I roll my eyes. “Or I have since Denise got pregnant. And I’ve been tested several times over the last decade. I’ve always been careful, Kenna. I promise.”
She puts a hand on my chest. “It’s okay. I believe you. I’m good too. My ex insisted on us being tested before we went there, and he always wore condoms. Always.”
“You say it like it’s a bad thing.”
“It’s not. Especially not now. But he always told me one was enough, even though that one wasn’t even his.”
The more I learn about her ex, the more I know what a selfish bastard he was.
Not just when they were together, but everything happening for her now.
I know all of this is about him. And not just him wanting to hurt her through her father.
There’s more to it than that. I know there is.
But now is not the time to bring it up again.
The candles flicker behind her. “How about we not waste another minute talking about our exes?”
“Fine by me. Mind if I use your bathroom?”
“Only if you promise to come right back.”
She grins. “Deal.”
A few minutes later, she emerges from the bathroom looking worried.
“Everything okay?”
She looks at the door to my bedroom. “I heard the hallway toilet flush. Do you think he heard us?”
“I doubt it. Christian has always been a heavy sleeper.”
“You mean other than the fact that he woke up to pee?” she says sarcastically.
I shrug. “He’ll be sixteen soon. I think he can handle it.”
“But what if he thinks you were getting murdered and comes to investigate?”
I laugh. “He won’t.”
“Maybe I should leave.”
I slide to the side of the bed, grab her arm, and pull her down. “Not on your life.” I spoon her and caress the soft curve of her hip.
“Aren’t you afraid of setting a bad example, sleeping with a woman you hardly know?”
“I know you more than you think I do, Kenna. I know you care deeply about those around you. I know you’re a good person. I know you’re a great mom.” I smile to myself and murmur against her neck, “And now I know you give one hell of a blow job.”
Her butt shimmies against my groin. “I’m glad you approve. I was pretty nervous.”
“Ten out of ten. Not bad for your first time.” I draw close to her ear and whisper, “Please tell me that was your first time.”
She sighs heavily. “Let’s just say it’s the first time I ever wanted to do it.”
My stomach turns, my mind riddled with questions. Did that motherfucker force her to do things she didn’t want to do? It makes me want to hunt him down, cut him to pieces, and bury the remnants of his sick, twisted soul.
We lay in silence for a few moments, which is good because I need to get these toxic visions out of my head. I don’t even know what the guy looks like, but I can see him clear as day, the devil incarnate, and I fear he’ll make regular appearances in my nightmares.
She turns and faces me, eyes glum, cupping my cheek with one of her hands. “Carter…”
I put a finger against her lips knowing what she’s about to say. “No. Don’t go downstairs. Not yet.”
“I don’t want to, but I should get up early. Maybe I can beat the snow.”
My goddamn heart cracks knowing how desperately she still wants to leave. “You won’t. The storm is moving south. It’ll be chasing you the whole way. What if you have to stop and get caught up in it?”
“I know you’re just trying to keep me safe, but—”
“Damn right I am. What if you slide off the road again, but this time there’s nobody around to help?”
She closes her eyes and sighs. “Okay. I’ll make you a deal. If there’s more than four inches of snow, I’ll stay.”
I run a hand along her bare shoulder. “Two.”
“You’re negotiating?”
“If that’s what it takes.”
She huffs. “Fine. Three. Three inches.”
“By what time?”
She thinks on it. “Eight am.”
I pick up my phone and set my alarm for seven thirty. “Deal.”
Putting my phone away, I press her into the bed. “Humans can function just fine on six hours sleep. That gives me one more hour with you. Whatever shall we do?”
She licks her lips and smiles. But then her smile wanes. “Only one more hour, huh?” Her eyes become glassy. “If this is our last night together, I just want you to know how amazing these few weeks have been.”
She looks sad. Almost as sad as I feel when I think about her leaving. I don’t want to ruin the moment we were having, and I dig far in the reaches of my mind. Think, Carter.
I perch my head on her chest and look up at her. “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”
Her eyes flutter. She sighs. Then she pulls me to her and kisses away my sadness. Or tries to. While she may love my silly Dr. Seuss quotes, that one most accurately describes my fear of the future.
And then… I spend the entirety of the next hour doing everything in my power to make it impossible for her to want to leave.