19. Hayden
Chapter nineteen
Hayden
We’re at the property once again, and Addie arrives before me, her arms chock-full of rolled-up papers and charts.
“Can I give you a hand with some of that?” I offer.
She’s looking as angelic as ever in a white sundress and light blue suit coat. The combination really brings out the brightness of her eyes.
Of course, the illuminating sunshine behind her doesn’t help matters either.
“Sure. Do you mind just holding this?”
Clumsily and awkwardly, we work together to move some of the bulk from her control into mine without dropping anything in the dirt.
By the end of it, we’re both laughing.
“You look really pretty today, Adds,” I say, before fully deciding to let the words escape my lips.
She smiles bashfully and looks at the ground. “Thank you, Hayden. You look pretty spiffy yourself.”
Despite her compliment, I feel like absolute ass because I haven’t managed to get so much as a wink of sleep after we shared that kiss. And then there was that cringy moment in her grandfather’s office when I thought she wanted me to kiss her again, but then shot up like she had ants in her pants before I had the chance to.
And there was also the whole issue with Luna.
I asked if I could come with Addie to pick her up, but she said, “Not yet.” What the heck is that supposed to mean?
It feels like I’ve gotten so close to Luna and come so close to finally revealing that I’m her dad, but I still can’t be certain.
However, it just doesn’t make sense for me to feel so intensely connected and bonded to her unless she is my own flesh and blood. Unless, of course, it’s just because she’s the closest person to Addie—
Ahhh! My mind can continue in a never-ending loop like this forever. And once I close my eyes and try to go to sleep, it does. But once the sun rises, and I’m back in business mode—or at least when I’m not around Addie—I can usually manage to turn it on.
“Uh. No sign of Randall this morning yet, huh?”
She looks around. “Um, no. Not yet. What time did he say he’d meet us?”
“9:30.” When I check my watch, I see that it’s just about 9:40 a.m.
“I’m sure he’ll be here,” Addie says while rocking back and forth on her heels.
“Yeah, I’m sure. I mean, it can’t be easy getting out the door in the morning with all of those kids.”
“Tell me about it. It’s hard enough with just one.”
There we go. Circling right back to Luna. The tiniest in stature but still the biggest elephant in the room.
Thankfully, Randall soon breaks the ice by approaching with a tray of coffee.
Never did I think I’d be so grateful to see you.
“Good morning, you two. I’m so sorry I’m late.”
“That’s okay,” Addie and I say at the same time.
“But I’ve brought coffee to hopefully make amends for my tardiness.”
We both accept one and take careful sips of the hot beverages.
“Seriously, it’s fine. I understand how difficult it can be to get children ready in the morning.”
Randall rolls his eyes and chuckles. “I just have to keep reminding myself over and over again that they’re the Lord’s little blessings.”
“Right.”
He balls up one of his fists and raises it into the air. “Even when they’re fighting over whose toothbrush is whose or blaming each other for the ‘spooky dooky’ that was left overnight in the toilet.”
I just about spit out the liquid in my mouth at the mention of the “spooky dooky.”
“What’s that exactly?” I have to ask.
“It’s a—” He pauses to turn away from Addie. “It’s a rather large poo that appears mysteriously and backs up all the pipes.”
“Oh, okay.” I suppose I could’ve guessed at least some of that.
“But enough of that. Let’s carry on.”
He walks in front of us, and Addie comes right beside me.
“What did he say?”
I grimace. “Oh, sweet, cherubic Adriana. I couldn’t dare speak of such grotesque things to a fine woman like you!”
“Oh, shut up!” She snickers and then knocks my shoulder with hers.
***
After showing Randall the new plans and pointing out how they will incorporate themselves onto the land, I let the playful mood of the morning get the best of me. And I make the stupid mistake of telling him that we have a construction team all lined up.
“You know, for when you ultimately sign the paperwork.”
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I know they’re a mistake.
The fun spirit that was once in the air is quickly replaced with tension, and I feel tiny knives digging into my chest as his face bunches up into a sneer.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
With a scoff, he says, “Well, I’m not quite sure why you’d make such a leap when I’ve never once insinuated that I have any intention of signing the land over to you.”
More knives. So many more knives.
I have to push my hand against my pectoral muscles to relieve some of the pressure.
I’m also wracking my brain to think of anything to make things better.
“Oh, don’t mind him,” Addie swoops in for me. “He wasn’t raised in the church like you and me. Randy—May I call you Randy?”
The slightest sign of a smile blooms just above his chin. “I suppose you can.”
“Ah, great. As I was saying, people like Hayden over here are new to the whole religion thing. He isn’t quite used to trusting the great man upstairs’ plans.”
He looks back at me with disdain, but when he grins over at her, I think this bizarre plan might actually be working.
“That’s understandable, I suppose. I’ve encountered other reborn believers who have struggled with relinquishing their power over to our Almighty God.”
“Exactly. That’s exactly what I think Hayden’s problem is. But please be patient. He’ll get there.”
“Well, okay then.” Before leaving, he promises that he’ll take everything we’ve presented to him today under advisement and get back to us with a definitive answer soon.
I’m frozen in awe as I watch him walk away. But after he piles into his station wagon and pulls off, I resist falling at my feet and bowing before her.
“How in the hell did you just pull that off?”
She keeps the fa?ade going by kissing her fingers and pointing them at the sky. “What can I say? The great G-O-D has got my back.”
“I guess he does.” Although, that statement made me a little salty towards a giant man I’m not even sure I believe in.
I told you that I’m the one who has your back . . .
“Oh, shoot!” As we’re walking back to our cars, she practically drops the supplies that she’s carrying as she reaches for her buzzing phone.
“Here, let me.” Except my mother taught me never to rifle through a woman’s purse without her permission. “If that’s okay with you.”
“Yes, please. Just don’t be alarmed when you feel for my pistol and dead husband’s ashes,” she jokes.
“Addie.”
“I said, yes. It’s fine. Root away. There’s nothing in there but my wallet and old gum wrappers anyway.”
With that in mind, I try to dodge anything sticky, and I finally find her cellphone.
“Here.”
“Thanks. Oh, shit.” She doesn’t answer it or anything, so I assume it’s another alarm. “We’re done here, right?”
“Yeah, thanks to you.”
“Great. I’ve gotta go pick up Luna.”
“Seriously? This early?” When she made a similar announcement, it was much later in the day.
“Yeah, she had a half-day today. Stupid parent-teacher conferences or whatever.”
“Oh, okay.” I remember having those when I was a kid. Although something tells me, Luna either doesn’t get the bad reviews I got. And even if she did, I’m sure Addie would handle punishing her children for them better than my father did. After shuddering at the thought of the intense beatings I’d get after each one of those meetings, I simply say, “Well, I guess I’ll be seeing you then. If I hear from Randall before you do, we’ll be in touch.”
I was feeling charitable and gave Lionel the day off to be with his young granddaughter, so I drove myself today.
Without another word from her, I reach for the handle and when I was just about to start pulling it open.
“Hey, Hayden?” I hear from behind me.
“Yeah?”
“Would you like to come with me to get her?”
I balloon of joy suddenly starts building inside of me. “Of course. I’d love to.”
“Great. Come on.”
***
Perhaps naively, I half expected her to act just as excited to see me as I was to see her. But after slumping out to the car with her head hung low, she simply looks up at me and nods.
I’ve never seen her in such a solemn mood.
Her mother catches onto it immediately and crouches down at her side.
“Baby? What’s wrong?” To soothe her even more, she starts peeling light hairs, which have come undone from the braid running down the back of her head, out of her face.
“Nothing. Can we please just go home now?” She stomps away from Addie, climbs inside the car, and slams the door shut.
When Addie stands again, she looks as perplexed as ever. “I have never seen her like that in my entire life. She’s usually so happy to see me. Oh, God.” Her fingers come up to her lips. “Is this happening already? I thought I had at least a few more years before she’s totally embarrassed by my very existence.”
I reach for her and hug her to my side. “I honestly don’t think this one is on you, Adds. She didn’t seem interested in me either.”
“Oh, yeah. I suppose that’s true.”
Thanks.
“No offense.”
“None taken. But I’m wondering if something happened at school today.”
“Right.” She looks around silently before apparently spotting Luna’s teacher. “If you don’t mind, I’m just going to go have a little talk with her. You’ll be okay—”
I already know how she feels about people watching her child, but I assure her we’ll be right here in the parked vehicle where she can see us at all times.
“Alright. Thank you, Hayden.”
“Don’t mention it.”
As we wait for Addie to return, we mostly sit in silence.
When I look back at her, her face is expressionless as she rests against the back of the seat.
“You sure everything’s alright? Whatever it is, you can talk to me. I know you don’t know me very well, but I’d like to help if I can.”
“Can we please just get some ice cream?”
Ice cream. Ah, yes. The magical elixir that can fix all things—hurt feelings, broken hearts, and even bad days at school.
However, I’m not the responsible adult in charge here, so I can’t just flat-out say yes.
“We’ll ask your mom, okay?”
She sighs. “Fine.”
Finally, I see Addie start walking back towards us. And when she climbs into the driver’s side of the small car, she shakes her head.
“Her teacher had nothing,” she mouthed carefully.
Ah, damn.
I look in the rearview mirror. “What were you saying you wanted to do again, Luna?”
“Ice cream.”
My head swivels in Addie’s direction, and I shrug.
She’s understandably apprehensive, and her eyes jolt down to the clock on the dash. It’s lunchtime.
“Oh, alright. Just a small cone.”
“With lots and lots of sprinkles!” her daughter insists, and it’s the most animated I’ve heard her speak all day. If only everyone could get so jazzed about food-safe wax.
“Me too! Me too!” I join in.
Addie’s mouth goes taut, causing her dimples to show, and she flutters her eyelashes. “Remember, back in the day, you used to call them jimmies. Did you hear that, Loones?”
“Jimmies? That’s my uncle’s name.”
“She has a great uncle Jimmy,” Addie explains.
“I know. I met him once, remember.”
She thinks for a moment, and then her hand rises to cover her face. “That’s right. He almost blew your leg off that one Fourth of July.”
Hiking my pants up, I show her the scar I still have to prove it.
“My gosh. I’m still so sorry. If you ever need an example of why about a dozen wine coolers and fireworks don’t mix—”
“Mom!” Luna’s little voice peeps up from the back. “What’s a wine cooler?”
We exchange looks and then laugh.
“Back to the jimmies situation. At least, I didn’t adopt what my granddad used to call them.”
She looks over at me. “Oh, yeah? And what’s that?”
“Hundreds-and-thousands.”
“Huh. That’s actually a pretty good and accurate name for them.”
“Right?”
“Mom!” Luna urges impatiently.
“Okay, okay! I’m sorry. Off we go.”
It’s still so funny for me to see her as a mom. Well, funny and endearing. She fits the role like a glove.
“So, where is the Flores girls’ ice cream shop of choice?”
She glances over at me with exposed teeth. “I was hoping you could offer some guidance there. My go-to as a kid was Kip’s, but it was a sad awakening for me the other day when I passed by and saw that it was all closed down.”
“Oh, yeah. That place has been gone forever. But man, did we have some good times there.”
She grins. “That we did.”
“Let’s see.” When it comes to ice cream in L.A., it’s kind of hard because most places try to out “bougee” themselves. Meaning, there are fancy Persian places, all-organic places, and places where they’d laugh in your face if you asked for a simple vanilla cone with sprinkles. “Oh, I’ve got it. Although, it’s in Inglewood. Is that going to be a problem?”
“Nah, we’ve got time. Are you up for a bit of an adventure, Luna?”
“Yep.”
“Well, there you have it.”
***
So, there we are. The newest Three Amigos sitting at a round, metal table and surrounded by bright green and pink paint.
“Good?” I ask both mother and daughter.
“Very!” Addie went for a waffle cone and piled hers with chocolate and nuggets, which I remember now were always her favorite. And I can hear the hard chunks gnashing against her strong teeth.
I’m a simpler man and just got chocolate with a fudge drizzle.
“So . . .” Addie starts again when Luna is almost finished.
Throughout this entire experience, she’s remained surprisingly taciturn.
“Fine! Allison made fun of me today because I can’t swim. Okay? Are you happy?”
Addie’s body visibly deflates, and I remember that she and her family were in a horrible boating accident when she was a kid.
That’s right. She’s been horrified by water ever since.
“Listen, if I may be so bold—I’d be happy to teach you how to swim.”
Both their light eyes jolt up at me.
“Seriously?” they ask together.
“Of course. My pool is heated, and we can start this weekend. What do you say?”
“Yay!” With that, Luna’s childhood wonderment seems to be restored.
But her mother doesn’t seem so thrilled. After dropping me off on the land we’re hoping to own very soon, she hops out and leads me to the side by the arm.
“Please don’t do that. Not to Luna.”
I’m incredibly confused. “Do what?”
“Make promises to her that you can’t keep.”
Oh. “You mean about the swimming this weekend?”
“Yes. It’s really hard on children when you make commitments and then break them.”
I take her by the shoulders. “I fully intend to stick to my word there, Adds. I mean, I like to think I’m a man who sticks to promises.”
She scoffs a little.
My eyebrow raises. “What’s with that attitude now?”
“A man of your word. Really, Hayden? Because I remember not so long ago, you promised me forever, but then you broke my heart into pieces.”
“Wha—”
With that, she storms back into her car and drives off.