38. Hayden
Chapter thirty-eight
Hayden
Penny gave me a heads-up that she was finished with Steven. But when she finally emerges from the house, I can tell by her red face that she’s been crying.
Further, her long, brown hair looks a bit ruffled.
But it’s no matter. She’s still a vision in her mossy green corduroy dress that’s tied at the shoulders, purple T-shirt, and white Vans.
As I wait for her to say something—anything—the single red tulip in my hand trembles.
Then, after what feels like an eternity, she smirks, her eyebrows furrow, and she crosses her arms. “Hayden Cohen. What the heck is all of this about?” After the question escapes her lips, she just glares at me.
I swallow hard, knowing I fully deserve that look.
“Can you please just come down here?” My voice squeaks as if I’m still a pubescent boy.
“Why?”
Ugh. I knew this was going to be an uphill battle. “Look, I’m not trying to earn your forgiveness—”
She scoffs. “Really? Because the notes in there would suggest otherwise.”
“I was a stupid fool when I wrote those.”
Her eyes roll.
“I’ve been a stupid fool for most of my life.”
“You can say that again.”
“I’ve been a stupid fool for most of my life,” I repeat to appease her. “I know that, Addie. Believe me, I do. But now I’m here before you as a grown man who knows he is past saying I’m sorry—a man who is simply asking for you to let him show you something.”
She’s silent for a moment before exclaiming, “Can you please, just for once, drop the presumptuousness and not show up here without calling first?”
My throat goes dry as I croak out, “I did call you! I called you a billion times, but you wouldn’t answer, remember?”
She makes a face and then looks around. “Hayden? Where is my daughter?” The emphasis she puts on “my” hurts, but it’s fair, given my behavior as of late.
I don’t answer her question. Instead, I continue with my mission by saying, “Look. I know I screwed up. I know that. I also know that I hurt you more times than I can even count.”
That makes her boisterously laugh.
“With all of that being said, I’ll completely understand if you never want to see me or talk to me after tonight. But please. Please just grant me a few more minutes of your time.”
Suddenly, Luna’s delightful laughter rings out and circles us.
“Our daughter is already enjoying it.”
She grabs hold of the railing before her and raises her nose up in the air. “Enjoying what?”
I lift my hand up towards her. “If you’ll come down, I’ll show you.”
Finally, after what feels like forever, she starts her descent down the stairs. When she gets close enough, I offer the flower to her, but she just breezes past me without so much as a glance backwards.
Alrighty then. Sighing, I discard the red tulip and follow after her.
But as soon as she turns the corner, she stops in her tracks, and I almost bump into her.
“Oh, my gosh!” Even with her back to me, I can tell her mouth is agape as she gazes at the ancient oak tree. There, she designed and redesigned a tree house that we promised we’d build together one day. But that never actually happened. Until now.
I let her take it all in for a bit before I step next to her. “Do you like it?”
“Like it?” As she peers over at me, there’s a child-like wonderment dancing in those gorgeous blue eyes of hers. “I—I just don’t understand how you did this. It looks exactly like my designs.”
With that prompt, I take out a crumpled piece of paper she doodled on years ago on the last day of summer vacation. “Here.”
She gasps. “You kept it?”
“An Addie Flores original? Of course, I did.” Back then, we promised we’d start building the next year, but we both outgrew and forgot about it. But now, there are fairy lights strewn about the branches around it and fresh flowers—red tulips, of course—planted at the base of the structure.
She just gazes at it.
I cough to clear my throat before explaining, “My friends helped me build it.”
“Why? Why did you do this?” she asks.
“Um—” It’s so simple of a question, but I, nevertheless, stammer through the answer. “I, uh. I guess I just . . . I just wanted to build something for you instead of destroying everything.”
She faces straight again but clutches her chest, right above her heart.
That’s a good sign, no?
I then offer her my hand, and she surprises me by accepting it. “Come on,” I insist, gesturing with my head.
“There’s something else?”
“It’s just something silly. Look.” I bring her over closer to the tree, and I show her a piece of wood that’s been lacquered and nailed at just about her eye level.
She uses her fingers to trace the letters, and she reads out loud, “Addie Flores.”
I lean one hand against the large trunk. “Yep, the very talented mastermind behind this magical place. I know it’s always been your dream to have your name on a building, Addie. Well, here it is. It seemed only fitting, given that this was your first creation, after all.”
She sniffles before gazing up at me again. “I just can’t believe you did this. Thank you.”
“It’s only just the beginning. I saw a therapist. My own, I mean. She specializes in childhood trauma.”
“You did?”
“I did.”
“That’s great, Hayden.”
“Yes. And I’m going to keep seeing her until I get most of my shit figured out. I’m so, so sorry for everything I’ve put you through, Addie. Genuinely, I’m so sorry. I know I’ll never be able to make up for the hurt I’ve caused you. But, if you let me, I’m going to keep trying to do just that. I’ll never stop. Just please. Please don’t take the two most important things in my life away from me.”
“And just what two things might that be?” she asks with a cheeky grin.
Of course. “I think you mean who.”
She smiles and bites the corner of her lip.
I step closer and grab her hand, stroking the back of it with my thumb. “It’s you and Luna, Adds. I know I’ve done a crap job of showing it, but you two are the most important people in my world. Heck, you two are my world. Like I wrote in one of those notes, I don’t want to know what my life looks like without you and Luna.”
Moments later, Luna pokes her head out of one of the windows.
“Um, hello? What’s taking you so long? Come up and see, Mommy!”
We look at each other and laugh before I hold the ladder steady. “Careful now!” I call up to her when she’s a little more than halfway there.
“I got it, I got it,” she insists. But a momentary slip tells another story. Still, she does her best to cover it up and remain stoic. “I’m fine.”
Once she’s in, I also climb up.
“Well?” I didn’t have the plans for the inside, but I tried my best to assume what a teenage Addie had envisioned for the place. Fortunately, I also had the movie Now and Then, a favorite of hers, to rely upon as well.
She uses her hand to cover her mouth. “It’s exactly like I pictured it.”
Yes! Internally, I’m pumping my fist.
“It’s just—it’s just perfect.” Before long, she slumps down and cradles one of the pink throw pillows.
“I’m so glad you like it.”
On the chalkboard wall, Luna is busy scribbling away.
“Look, Hayden! It’s you!” she announces after a bit. It’s an impressive likeness, I have to admit. Although my nose is way pointier than in real life. When I point this out to her, she just howls with laughter and says I look like The Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang .
I tickle at her sides before glancing at Addie and questioning her parenting style. “You let her watch that terrifying movie?”
She grins and shrugs her shoulders. “I didn’t plan on it. But she saw it when going through the channels one day, and she absolutely loved it. The Child Snatcher and all.”
“Catcher, Mom. Catcher,” Luna corrects.
“Oh, right. Sorry.”
“Huh.” That is apparently something she didn’t get from me because the thought of that character still sends a shiver down my spine.
“Next, I’ll draw you,” Luna says to her mother.
Not surprising at all, that depiction comes out much more flattering. She even manages to capture the little wisps of baby hair that Addie has just above her temples.
We stay up there for a while, and just as the sun starts to set, Luna asks, “Can we have dinner up here?”
As the parental figure, I let Addie decide that one.
“Um . . .”
“It’s fine by me,” I mouth behind our child’s back. “We can just order pizza or something.”
“Okay, fine.”
“Yay!” Luna cheers.
Despite Addie’s initial enthusiasm about the treehouse, her mood seems to have dampened a bit, and she’s more stone-faced now. But she agreed to stay for a while longer. That’s all that matters.