Chapter 10
10
W e leave the gas station and the highway far behind us as Nathan drives up twisty mountain roads that will take us to his home. Everywhere there are towering trees, thick dark green leaves and the scent of something wild, raw and earthy.
It’s beautiful.
I wind my window down and fill my lungs with cool, fresh air.
It’s nothing like my old home.
We had blisteringly hot summers where we’d cook under the sun and jump into the nearest river to cool off instead of having a shower at the end of each day. And in winter, all the leaves would turn orange and red before they fall off trees that would resemble skeletons once all the leaves had finished shedding.
I miss my pack, my home, and everything I knew, but I don’t miss the fact we only had two seasons. It was only when Martha and I traveled all over the states that I learned about the other seasons I missed out on growing up.
I had my window open almost all the way until a fly committed suicide by diving into my eye. Then I closed it. I don’t know what the fly was made of, but it stung my eye like crazy getting it out.
“You’ve been quiet for a while.” Nathan’s hands are relaxed on the steering wheel. He’s a comfortable, confident driver. More confident than I am. I wouldn’t dare take my eyes off these twisty mountain roads. I guess it’s home for him and he could drive these roads blindfolded.
He’s right. If Martha was in the car at this moment, she’d have her palm on my forehead and asking if I was coming down with something.
It’s in Martha’s nature to be quiet and meditative. It is not in mine.
“Just thinking.”
We haven’t spoken about what happened in the motel, but I haven’t stopped thinking about it.
He nods, surprising me when he drops the issue just like that. He said he’d overstepped last night and didn’t intend to do it again. It looks like he meant what he said.
“About anything interesting?”
“Mostly the views. It’s beautiful here.”
“It is,” he agrees with a smile. “Nothing feels as good as coming home.”
I know.
“And I was thinking about something else.”
“Yeah?”
I study him. “Regan warned me about you.”
“She did, did she?” A hint of a smile pulls on the corners of his lips.
I recall my conversation with Regan when she told me who would be coming to Dawley to take me to Hardin. “She said you were the joker. I was curious.”
“About?”
I turn in my seat to fully face him. “No one is ever just the joker. What else is there to Nathan Blackshaw?”
"There’s nothing more than what you see.”
I don’t believe that.
I must miss seeing the town of Hardin itself. That or we don’t pass by it, because after driving up-hill for several minutes, Nathan slows and swings off the main road and down a well-trodden path between trees just wide enough for a car to go down it.
He pulls to a stop outside a pretty white farmhouse.
It’s mid-afternoon, and after hours on the road, my ass fell asleep a while ago. I forget all that as I study the Blackshaw home, and how cozy it looks from a distance.
Lights are on in the house. The hum of conversation, laughter, and the sound of a baby crying drift from its partially open windows.
Nathan cuts the engine, but neither of us moves to get out.
“But?” I prompt.
He unbuckles his seatbelt. “But what?”
“It felt like there was a but.”
“No buts,” he assures me.
I wait for him to crack a joke about my butt, given not that long ago he was calling me peach. It doesn’t come.
A brief pang of something hits me in my gut. Disappointment? Confusion? Guilt that I’m the one responsible for hurting Nathan Blackshaw by making him feel unwanted? I’m not sure what this feeling is.
The front door swings open and a woman yells, “ Nate ! What are you doing sitting out there?”
Nathan’s smile is faint. “That’s Hallee. How about I introduce you to everyone?”
“Sure,” I say, when I’m not really interested in getting out of the car at all. Nathan says there isn’t much more to him than being a joker, but I know that isn’t true. It can’t be.
Meeting everyone all at once would be a hell of a lot more overwhelming if they weren’t all smiling, clearly pleased to see me.
A model-handsome man with shoulder-length blond hair lifts his right hand. “Keys!”
Nathan tosses him the keys. “It’s mostly the right side, Marshall.”
Marshall gives me a friendly wave and drops to a crouch beside the car, tilting his head to study the claw marks from the wolf attack in Dawley. “I’ll have to take it into the shop to fix her up. Should have her back to you tomorrow.”
“Marshall owns the shop in town,” Nathan explains.
I nod, recalling him saying he had the worst of the damage fixed in Dawley, but would wait until he was back in Hardin to fix everything else. Now it makes sense. He has a mechanic packmate.
Hallee, a woman in her mid-twenties with silky mink brown hair, bumps her shoulder with mine. “Hope Nate didn’t drive you crazy on the drive up here.” She rolls large brown eyes. “If you want to murder him, that’s okay. We’ve all considered it at least once.”
Identical toddlers draw my attention. A boy and a girl in matching navy blue outfits. They must be Angel and Patrick. Both have fat cheeks, light blue eyes, and dark blond hair. They are adorable as they continue their incomprehensible chatter with each other. When the little girl with pigtails isn’t chatting with her brother, she’s energetically stuffing handfuls of a pretty woman’s long dark hair into her mouth.
“Quit that,” the woman mutters, gently pulling her hair away. She smiles at me. “Try to get Angel to eat food and it’s a battle she will fight with everything in her. My hair? It’s like the dessert tray to her. I’m Talis. Hi!”
I smile. I don’t have any experience with kids. Not because I didn’t like them. Just never stuck around anywhere long enough to get to know any. Nathan doesn’t seem to have that problem. He’s moving toward Talis and Angel. “Want me to take her?”
Even before he’s offering, Angel is twisting toward him and holding her arms up in a ‘right now’ motion. “ Nat !”
“Come on, trouble. You’ll be coughing up hairballs like a cat soon. Leave Mom’s hair alone.” Nathan grins.
Nathan has his black duffel hanging off one arm. He pushes the bag further up and lifts Angel, tweaking her button nose, which makes her giggle as he wanders up to the house. Halfway there, he stops and twists to look at me. “Don’t forget your bag.”
“ My bag?” I frown. The only bag I had was the one I left behind in Dawley when I took off.
He points his chin at the car. “The stuff in the white paper bag is yours.”
I stare after him, confused. I’d thought he’d made that quick shopping trip in the mall to grab stuff for himself. But it was for me ?
“He didn’t drive you too crazy with endless jokes on the way, did he?”
I turn away from Nathan as he disappears into the house, coming face to face with a large blond-haired man with ice-blue eyes and a short dark blonde beard, currently holding Patrick.
Patrick is not trying to eat hair like his sister. He observes me with quiet intensity through serious blue eyes. They look so alike, but from this brief introduction to them, I have a feeling their personalities are very different.
I shake my head. “He was a little quiet, but…” My voice trails off as everyone stares at me.
“ Nathan was quiet?” The large man asks, doing nothing to hide his surprise.
“Uh, yeah.”
“Strange.” He stares at me a little longer, then shakes his head. “I’m Dayne. We’ve got you set up in Savannah’s old cabin.”
A blonde woman waves at me. “That’s me. My mate Jeremy and I are staying at the house, so you have my old cabin for as long as you want it.”
“But before you go check it out, you’re just in time for dinner.” Dayne turns toward the house. “We eat early here so we can get the twins down to bed. We’re like hobbits around here with second and third dinners. If you’re hungry later, stop by the house. Someone will always be in the kitchen eating something. They’ll share.”
Talis wraps her arm around his waist and rubs her cheek along his arm. “As if you’re not in the habit of doing midnight fridge raids of your own.”
That’s Dayne.
Martha was afraid of him, and I told her I wasn’t afraid, but a part of me was a little wary about meeting him. I met him and didn’t even realize it was him until he was walking away from me. “I’m not hungry enough for a second dinner, but food sounds great. We ate lunch not that long ago.”
It was more greasy fast food. Even if I’d eaten five minutes before, I’m not about to turn down a proper meal. There’s only so much fast food you can handle before you crave something homemade.
“I’m Eden.” Another woman flashes me a friendly smile. “I can take your bag to the cabin now if you want?”
“Uh…” That mystery white bag that I did not know was mine until now. I’d love to riffle through it, see what’s in it, but I am starving. “Thanks.”
As Eden and her mate Luka grab my bag from Nathan’s car and head into the forest, presumably towards Savannah’s cabin in the woods, I follow the rest of the Blackshaws to the farmhouse to eat an early dinner.
It’s a typical family dinner with large platters of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, and gravy with cornbread. We wash it down with water and iced tea. All of it is homemade and all of it is absolutely delicious.
We all serve ourselves. And of course, being shifters with enormous appetites, we all go back for seconds and thirds until we’ve cleared the platters.
The twins have matching white high chairs at the big wooden dining table. Nathan feeds Angel between bites of his own meal, Dayne feeds Patrick, and the rest of us eat as Nathan and I fill everyone in on the journey from Dawley.
It’s been a while since I’ve eaten like this. Before Martha and I went to Dawley, it was just us. In Dawley, we ate like this, but here feels different. I’m not sure if it’s because they’re family. In Dawley, we were all lone shifters looking to find a home.
Whatever the reason for the difference, I don’t move to get up even after I’ve finished my meal. I’m relaxed, content, and comfortable.
When Nathan’s cell phone vibrates across the table, he picks it up, glances at caller ID and hands it to me. “Ah, this is for you.”
Martha.
The dreaded conversation I’ve been actively avoiding for a while now. I can only imagine Martha held off on calling because Nathan was texting her updates. Now she knows I’m in Hardin, and somewhere private where no one will hear her yell, she’s going to unload on me. Martha rarely ever loses her temper, but I foresee a well-deserved tongue lashing in my future.
“Do you mind if I borrow your phone and return it later? I’d like to speak to her alone, maybe in the cabin.” I get to my feet and reach for the phone. No one needs to hear my big sister giving me hell for being inconsiderate and reckless.
“Keep it,” Nathan says. “You want me to show you to the cabin?”
I shake my head. “If you point me in the general direction, I’ll find it.”
“I’ll be back, trouble. Eat food not Mom’s hair or you’ll turn into a little kitten coughing up hairballs,” Nathan warns Angel, tweaking her nose again. She has the most infectious giggle in the world, which makes everyone smile except Dayne, who sighs sadly. “I’m not sure when I stopped being the favorite.”
“I’m the cool uncle. You’re the guy with all the rules.” Nathan flashes him a grin as Talis takes over feeding Angel while he leads me out of the kitchen through the back door.
“Stop by whenever, okay Clara?” Talis calls out.
I smile and nod as everyone waves goodbye.
As I follow Nathan to the door and down the back porch, the phone stops ringing. That’s okay. I’ll call Martha when I get to the cabin.
He points toward a well-beaten track that leads deeper into the forest. “Just follow that path and it’ll take you right to Savannah’s cabin.”
“Thanks.” I jog down the stairs.
“Everything should be set up for you. Food, bed made, and I think Savannah left some clothes and stuff for you to use.”
A good thing too, since I ran from Dawley with literally the clothes on my back.
“Thanks.” I smile at him. “I appreciate it.”
I feel Nathan watching me as I walk into the forest.
His packmates’ scents are so recent that Nathan didn’t even need to point the way. I’d have found it on my own easily enough.
I wait until no one is likely to hear Martha yell at me before I hit re-dial and brace myself for Martha to answer.
“How could you have just run off like that, Clara?” Martha demands. “You just ran off.”
“I was trying to keep everyone safe,” I say, trying to ignore the hurt in her voice.
“By running off in the middle of an attack and getting yourself killed?” Her voice rises an octave.
I stop walking when a small, cute looking cabin comes into view.
“Someone tried to kill you, Martha. Then they immediately tried to kill Nathan. Because of me. I didn’t want anyone else hurt because of me. I’m sorry I did it, but I don’t regret it.”
Especially because Adrian and his enforcers followed me to Rosenwood which meant they’re no longer in Dawley to hurt Martha. Not that Ty would let anyone get to her, but at least Martha is no longer in any danger.
Martha doesn’t respond for several seconds, then she blows out a long breath. “You are reckless and too impulsive, Clara.”
“But you still love me?” I hold my breath as I wait for her response.
She sighs. “Of course I still love you. Why do you think I was so worried?”
“I’ll call every day while I’m here,” I promise her. “I don’t think Nathan would mind if I used his phone.”
“Okay,” she says. “And I’ll call you.”
“How are you and Ty? Still going at it like?—”
“Not talking about this, Clara,” she cuts in.
I smile. “Is he there doing things to you while you’re on the phone with me?”
She sighs again. “You truly have your mind in the gutter, don’t you?”
“Always.” I continue toward the cabin and move to open it. “I better go. I’m desperate for a shower.”
And to investigate my new temporary home.
I’m getting ready to hang up when Martha stops me. “Clara?”
“Yeah?”
“When you want to move on, can you please tell me? I know you’re twenty-two and you need to live your own life, but I’ll worry about you.”
When not if.
My big sister knows me far too well.
I’ve never been as happy or as settled anywhere as I was back in Ohio. Maybe a person can only set down roots in one place, and I set mine already. Now nowhere will ever feel like home.
“I’ll let you know,” I promise her.
“You could always come back to Dawley,” she quietly suggests in a tone of someone who already knows what my answer will be.
“Maybe.”
She blows out a sigh. “Clara…”
She’s my sister, so she knows a lie when she hears it.
“I’ll stop by for a visit,” I say, because that’s one thing I can promise and mean it.
“And pick up the clothes you left behind when you ran off.”
I wince. “I know I shouldn’t have but?—”
“Sorry. I don’t mean to keep complaining. I just worry.”
“I get it.” It’s just us in the world now. Of course she would worry. “We’ll speak soon, okay?” I push the cabin door open and wander in, pausing at the entrance to admire the cozy space.
Unlike Matilda and Simon’s cabin outside of Rosenwood, this one is all open concept. Each corner of the room has everything I would need. A bed, a living space, a kitchen, and a door which must lead to a bathroom.
I hope to hell it leads to a bathroom because I didn’t pass any outbuildings and I’m not eager to have to go outside to use the toilet.
“Speak soon. Love you.”
“Love you too.” I hang up, tucking the cell phone in my pocket and closing the door behind me.
My gaze snags on the white boutique bag that Eden and Luka brought and left on the bed.
Curious about what Nathan got from the store, I empty the contents on top of a quilted comforter and I sigh.
“You truly are an asshole, Clara,” I mutter.