Chapter 18
18
I doze off on the couch and wake up to a wolf licking my cheek.
I push his big head aside. “Your breath smells, Blackshaw.”
He licks me again, and I bat him aside half-heartedly. With his mouth hanging open in a wolfish grin, he hops off the side of the… hold up.
When did I get off the couch and on the bed?
I lift my head to take in my new position, in bed and the sheets up to my chin. Nathan must have turned the TV off and returned the empty popcorn bowl to the…
My eyes widen.
Clean kitchen.
“You washed the dishes,” I breathe. “After I nearly destroyed it.”
Nathan growls softly at me from beside the front door. The wolf equivalent of get off your ass. The sparkle in his eyes is one I’ve seen many times before. I know what he wants to do, and I want none of it. Not with the drumming of heavy rain hitting the window and door.
“I appreciate you washing up after my kitchen explosion, but it’s raining, Blackshaw. My fur will get wet.”
Not all wolves mind rain. I do. But not because I’m shallow. Wet fur tangles in the rain, and when I shift back, my hair is always a big tangled mess. Martha says I look like a blonde poodle, and she’s not wrong.
He sits on his flank and cocks his head.
I know exactly what he’s thinking.
“I’m not being a girl,” I deny when I’m very much being a girl.
A loud rumble emerges from outside, and I look at the small window. Rain splatters even harder and I instinctively shiver under the covers because it’s going to be freezing out there. I’m not interested in getting soaked. My wolf lets out a mournful whine in my head. She wants to run, but wet fur isn’t a big deal for her because she doesn’t have to deal with the tangles.
Nathan is like one of those happy dogs in a commercial waiting for a kid to throw him a ball. His tail is even wagging, and it’s very hard not to laugh.
“You heard that, right?” I nod at the window. “It’s torrential out there. Why would you want to go out there when you could be warm and cozy?”
His head lowers. So does the tongue hanging out of his mouth.
I hide my smile. “You’re really pathetic, you know that, right?”
He lies down, chin on his paws, the picture of devastation.
Laughing, I get up. “Okay, fine. You can be the one to brush the tangles from my hair, and I promise you, there will be many, many tangles. I will look like a big, blonde, fluffy poodle. If you laugh at me, I’ll kill you.”
He waits beside the door for me to step out of my clothes and sink into a crouch.
I close my eyes and reach for my wolf.
She’s eager to rush out and explore the water-logged world out there. I am less eager. But then again, I am a girl who is a teeny, tiny bit shallow.
Shifting has always come easily to me. I never need to think or stress about shifting. Being a wolf is a part of who I am.
But this time? Naked, on my hands and knees with Nathan watching me…
It’s not happening.
I open my eyes. “You can’t look at me while I do this.”
He stares at me like I lost my mind.
“Yes, I know it makes no sense. But it’s you. And…” I blush.
It’s weird to shift in front of someone I like because it just is.
The amusement stirring in his gaze fades as he gets up and turns his back to me.
It’s sweet. I really thought he would be funny about it, but he wasn’t.
I reach for my wolf again, and let the shift sweep over me.
A minute later, I’m a wolf, my body covered in blonde fur. My eyes are a brighter shade of blue than when I’m human, and my nose… I wrinkle it, wishing it wasn’t so sharp.
A multitude of scents fill the space, competing with each other. Mostly it’s the nasty food smells from the kitchen that dominate. My failed, botched attempt at cooking. Nathan cleaned up the mess, but it's going to take a while longer for the smells to dissipate.
I focus on the yummy scent from beside the front door where a medium size reddish-brown wolf is sitting on its hindquarters with its back to me.
Nathan’s scent of cedar, amber and mint, is as fresh, warm and irresistible to me as it always is.
My claws click across the hardwood floors as I walk over to him, and he peers over his shoulder to look at me.
He tilts his head then, as if to ask me if I’m ready.
I shake my head and try to look pathetic.
He snorts and touches his nose to mine, saying hello in a wolfy way. Despite my initial refusal to get my fur wet, I’m excited to run and play with Nathan. Gripping the doorknob with my teeth, I turn it and pull the door open.
A sudden gust of wind blows it even wider open and I dart outside into the fury of a storm.
It is torrential rain out there, windy as hell, but it is absolutely beautiful.
One playful tackle turns into a muddy wrestling match and my wolf is beyond thrilled.
Me? I’m thinking about the tangles I have waiting for me after this run. At least until Nathan darts off into the forest and cocks his head as if to ask what the hell I’m doing just sitting there.
There are moments of being a wolf that I will always love. The freedom to run, to chase, to play is unlike anything I’ve ever felt as a human or ever will. Worries fade. All that matters is this one moment, and it is beyond liberating.
I give into that feeling and charge after Nathan.
It must be three hours later when we return from our run, tracking water inside the cabin. I am absolutely drenched through, but I can’t stop smiling. Or my wolf can’t. The human me, deep in the body of my wolf, is more exhausted than anything else.
Nathan shifts first, rising from his crouch and ducking into the bathroom as I’m still shifting.
When I’m human again, he’s standing in the bathroom doorway, his back to me. He must have dried off in the bathroom because, while his hair is still a little damp, his body is dry.
“You don’t have to keep doing that,” I say, my heart warming at his gesture. “I know I was being weird.”
“No, you weren’t.” He crosses over to me and wraps a large towel around me before he carries me over to the bed, handing me a smaller matching blue towel. “We’re not pack yet. I get it.”
Shifting in front of someone not a packmate makes you vulnerable. I hadn’t realized why it felt so weird before until he said it. It was always me and Martha. Just us. For years, so I never had to think of it. Shifting requires trust that the person close by won’t attack you when you’re too focused on shifting to defend yourself.
He ducks back into the bathroom as I dry my hair with the smaller towel and try not to fall asleep.
He returns carrying my hairbrush.
“Blackshaw?” I frown.
He sinks onto the bed and takes over drying my hair. “You’re falling asleep. Let me.”
He’s right. I am falling asleep. “It’s okay.”
But I don’t fight too hard to keep hold of my small towel.
It’s a struggle to stay awake as he carefully works my brush through my hair from the ends first, detangling it without pulling on my scalp. It feels too good to complain.
Two minutes later, my head is slumping.
Then I’m blinking my eyes open to take in a room flooded with sunlight.
Nathan is sitting on the edge of the bed, fully dressed.
I yawn. “Thanks for brushing my hair.”
“It wasn’t a hardship, and you lied.” He kisses my forehead and I realize soft, forehead kisses have easily become my new favorite thing.
“About what?”
“You don’t look like a fluffy poodle.”
I pat his thigh. “You are a big, fat liar, but thank you.”
The corners of his eyes pull in a smile as he dips his head and kisses me. “I have to go to the house.”
“More toddler wrangling?”
“Nope. Something else,” he says evasively.
I eye him, curious. “And that something else is…”
He kisses me again. “Tell you later. Go back to sleep. It’s still early.”
“And if I want you to stay?” A new question from me. I’m usually pushing people away or doing the running.
He studies me for the longest moment, a soft smile on his lips. “How about dinner later when I’ve finished doing my thing?”
“You’re cooking?”
He snorts. “I can wrangle toddlers and I can throw together breakfast. That’s it. Madi, Dean’s mate set up a food delivery business recently. One of those meal delivery items is a romantic dinner for two.”
I perk up. “I don’t have to cook?”
He laughs. “Neither do I. I’ll see you later, okay?”
I yawn, closing my eyes. “You’ve got yourself a date, Blackshaw.”