Chapter 23
23
I watch Nathan sleep.
The drive to Hardin took all night. We got back so late that the sun was rising. The rest of the Blackshaws waved a tired goodbye and headed to the house while Nathan wrapped his arm around me and led the way to my cabin.
All I had time to do was use the bathroom, brush my teeth and wash my face before I was practically falling asleep on my feet.
So was Nathan.
We must have slept all day because it looks like it’s nearly night time outside.
Nathan’s breathing hasn’t changed, but I think I will always know when Nathan is truly asleep or just pretending.
I poke him in the chest. “Quit faking. I know you’re not asleep.”
His snores ramp up in volume.
Since there’s a surefire way to get him to quit pretending, I straddle him and his eyes snap open. They are hungry, and he is definitely enjoying this position as I’d known he would. “I knew it.”
He grins at me. “Morning, peach.”
“I don’t think it’s morning anymore. Or even afternoon. We slept the entire day away.”
He looks at the window. “That drive back was a killer.”
I study him. “You came after me. You all came after me.”
He cradles the back of my nape with one large hand, and I lean into his touch. “You are pack, Clara.”
“I am?”
“You are. It’s like you’ve always been with us. You’re a Blackshaw.”
The back of my eyelids prickle. “You beat up Adrian like a jealous boyfriend in a movie.”
The corners of his eyes pull as he smiles. “I did, didn’t I?”
“It was surprisingly hot.”
“Ah, so that’s why you didn’t stop me?” He grins.
“And you said you loved me.” We didn’t have a chance to talk about it after the fight.
Dayne didn’t think it was wise for us to hang around after he killed Adrian. Just because no one looked like they were going to attack us, that might have changed at any moment.
So we got out of there, back to their vehicles and headed right for Colorado.
We kept an eye on the rearview mirror, but no one had followed. Dayne said we all need to be on high alert for the next few days to make sure Adrian’s pack doesn’t come after us, wanting revenge. I doubt they will. None of them looked eager to go head to head with Dayne.
Nathan folds his arms under his head. “Did I?”
“You said a man has certain feelings when someone abducts the woman he loves.”
“Did I now?”
Rolling my eyes, I move to get off him.
Two seconds later, I’m flat on my back and he’s braced over me, serious. “What happened?”
I wish I hadn’t prodded him awake now. He was pretending to be asleep, and I should have let him continue to pretend.
My eyes slide over his shoulder. “You’re going to be mad at me if I tell you.”
“Probably.” He grips my chin and returns my gaze to him. “But I think I need to hear it.”
I blow out a sigh and say very quietly. “He didn’t grab me. I volunteered to go with him.”
Nathan stares at me without expression.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I blurt out.
“What the hell were you thinking, Clara?” he growls.
“I was thinking about not waiting for you to come back to the cabin and watching him rip out your throat is what I was thinking,” I growl back.
“He wouldn’t have?—”
“Adrian threatened to wipe out your entire pack, Nathan.” I swallow hard when tears clog my throat, briefly choking me. “I was trying to do the right thing. Better that I’m the only one hurt.”
I struggle to read Nathan’s expression.
He releases my chin and turns to lie on his back beside me.
I angle my head to look at him, his response confusing me. “Nathan?”
“Give me a minute, peach.”
I turn fully on my side, giving him that minute.
“Are you still mad?”
One corner of his mouth twitches. “That wasn’t a minute.”
“I counted down. Maybe a little fast, but it was definitely sixty seconds.”
He rolls onto his side to face me, more serious than I was expecting. “I think I had about five million heart attacks.”
“Really?”
He takes my hand and kisses my knuckles. “I came to the cabin and found you gone. There were scents I didn’t recognize, and I had no fucking clue where you were. I lost you and I didn’t know how to get you back, or even if you wanted to come back.”
I didn’t realize he would think I just left him.
“Nathan…” My eyes prickle.
He gives me another longer look. “You went with him for me?”
I nod. “I couldn’t let him hurt you because of me. How did you find me?”
“Called your sister, who I promised you would call as soon as we got you home. Once we had a state and a city, tracking his pack was easy.”
“Yeah, she’s going to be worried.”
“She was. Less worried when I told her we wouldn’t be leaving Minnesota until we got you home. I still can’t believe it. You push me down a hill, then you volunteer yourself to get kidnapped to protect me.” He shakes his head. “Living with you is never going to be boring, is it, peach?”
“Probably not.” I eye him closely. “I’d promise to change, but I think this is just me. Martha has tried to get me to see sense for years and I’m as impulsive as I’ve always been.”
He huffs out a laugh and draws me close, tucking me under his shoulder as he wraps his arms around me. “I don’t want you to change, Clara. I want you just the way you are.”
“Even though I nearly killed you with my bad cooking?”
“Even though.” He kisses me. “Why was he so obsessed with grabbing you?”
I wiggle around to get comfortable. “He was crazy. His father was too, and the pack killed him. He thought if he had an omega to iron out all that crazy, he wouldn’t end up the same way. Little did he know he picked an omega infected with her own brand of crazy.” I do a terrible impression of an evil laugh that makes Nathan chuckle.
“You just admitted you were an omega.”
I know. “Usually I tell myself if I don’t talk about it, then I won’t ever have to face up to a part of me I try to ignore.”
“It’s not a curse, Clara. Regan left a big hole in all our hearts when she left. What you are is a gift. A rare gift.”
“She took all that love to Dawley,” I admit. “She made it feel like home for so many people.”
“But not for you?”
“No. I should probably talk to her about it, huh?” I did a bit already, and it helped to talk to someone who knew exactly what it meant to be an omega.
He kisses the top of my head. “She’s surprisingly easy to talk to.”
“I know.”
We lie quietly for several seconds. “Will you ever tell her?”
“Tell who?”
“Hallee… about how you feel.”
Nathan is silent for a beat. “About how I felt ? No. I think that’s best left in the past. She moved on, and I should have a long time ago.”
Nathan is drawing little circles on my lower back, his breathing is slowing, and I’m relaxing when a thought occurs to me.
I jerk my head up and Nathan curses. “Shit.”
I sit up, wincing. “Sorry. I just realized something.”
“That you didn’t choose violence today?” he grumbles, rubbing his chin.
I must have cracked the top of my head on it.
"Sorry.” I smile apologetically, tugging his hand aside to kiss his chin. “You had a surprise for me.”
He closes his eyes. “Did I?”
I poke his side. “Hey, no sleeping. You did. You went to get it before I… uh…”
“Volunteered yourself to be kidnapped?” he offers.
I wince. “Hmm-mmm.”
I can’t believe I thought that was a good idea. That has to go down as one of the most stupid things I’ve ever done in my life. And if Martha ever finds out, I’d be looking at a two-hour rant. If I’m lucky. If I’m not lucky, she’d climb into her car, drive up here and spend a weekend doing it.
Nathan peels his eyes open. “I don’t like it, but I understand why you did it. Quit feeling guilty about it, peach.”
“Does that mean I get my surprise now?”
He closes his eyes and pats my ass. “Maybe later.”
I scowl at him. “Whatever happened to romancing Clara Vincent? There were so many stages.”
“Which stage was your favorite?” A smile tugs on the corners of his lips, though his eyes remain closed.
I study this man who has, almost from the start, made himself my protector. Made me feel safe. Given me a home—a sense of belonging—but most of all, made me feel loved.
“The caring.” I touch my lips to his. “The part where you made me fall so in love with you that I can’t imagine being anywhere else, or with anyone else.”
He returns my kiss, winding his arms around me and extending it.
He’s turning me onto my back when I break the kiss. “Nathan?”
“Clara?”
“You, uh, didn’t—” I moan, gripping his hair with both hands as he nips my throat. “Oh.”
A smile stretches his lips. “That was an interesting sound I wouldn’t mind hearing again.”
“I was wondering when…” My voice trails off as he kisses his way down my throat.
“Wondering what?”
I let my eyes drift closed. “Was I speaking? I don’t think I was.”
I had wanted to hear him tell me that he loved me too, but I guess I can wait if he keeps doing that thing with his teeth.
He slides a hand down over my belly, and I part my thighs for him.
His smile grows. “I feel like you might be hinting at something, peach.”
I quit hinting.
I push him onto his back, take in his grinning face as I straddle him, grip the base of his cock and take him into my body.
“ Fuck .” His hands grab my hips as the muscles in his neck bulge.
I’m moaning, head back as I adjust to his sudden entry when he grabs my shirt and shoves it over me, tossing it aside so we’re both naked.
I take my time riding him, setting a slow but steady pace, wanting to draw out those groans and grunts tearing from his throat.
As I sink onto him, he flexes his hips up so every inch of him penetrates every part of me.
His hands are never still. They caress my hips, my thighs, and my breasts.
And when my climax hits, I throw my head back and let out a scream I don’t care if anyone hears. Nathan’s fingers tighten on my hips as he groans, holding me tight against him as he strains, filling me with heat.
Struggling to regain my breath, my muscles twitch from aftershocks as Nathan draws me down beside him, gathering me close to bury a kiss in my hair.
He says something. Not sure what. I’m already more asleep than awake.
The sound of wind whipping through the trees makes me shiver.
“Nathan?” I huddle against his side. “Did you leave a window open?”
“Something like that,” he says, sounding like he’s smiling.
The odd note in his voice makes me lift my head. And I stare.
We’re not in the cabin anymore.
We are outside, sleeping on a blanket on the grass. Beside the lake, to be exact, where golden ropes of fairy lights cover nearby trees. It’s like being surrounded by tiny white stars, and it is so beautiful, and so ridiculously romantic, that I immediately want to burst into tears.
“What is this?” I whisper.
He gets to his feet, taking my hand and helping me up. “Another stage in romancing Clara Vincent.”
I try desperately not to cry. “And what stage is that?”
His smile fades as he peers down at me. “The stage I tell her that I love her, that I think I always have, and I hope she will let me spend the rest of her life making her happy.”
I throw myself at him.
Nathan was not expecting it.
He trips over something, and we both tumble into the lake.
We make the biggest splash in the world. I’m laughing too hard to help Nathan, so he saves me from drowning. It’s only when I’m on my feet again, shivering from the cold water, but still grinning do I realize he’s looking over my shoulder.
I turn.
Every single Blackshaw is staring at us.
Hallee has her mouth hanging open. Kier leans over and nudges it shut. “We’ll leave you to it.”
“We just wanted to see what Nathan was doing with all the lights,” Talis explains.
“And then we saw that.” Eden grins.
They leave, trampling back through the forest toward the house. When I can no longer hear their laughter and conversation, I turn to Nathan.
He swipes the water from his face. “I tell the woman I love her and she tackles me, nearly drowning us both.”
“Sorry.” I wince. “I wasn’t trying to drown you.”
He steps closer, cradling the back of my head as he stares down at me. “It’s not the last stage.”
I frown, confused. “What isn’t?”
He points his chin at the fairy lights wound around the trees and the blanket on the grass. “This. Romancing Clara Vincent. There’s more I want to do with you and for you.”
“I think I need to start romancing Nathan Blackshaw. There could be at least ten stages.”
He kisses me. “Only ten?”
I loop my arms around his neck. “Don’t push your luck, Blackshaw.” He moves to kiss me again, but I lean back, and he holds me in his embrace.
“What?” he asks.
“I love you too,” I tell him. “When I flung myself at you and nearly drowned us, I just wanted to show you how much.”
He grins at me. “I know.”
We study each other for a beat.
“Maybe we should go dry off now,” he suggests. “That water was freezing.”
“I thought you’d never say.” As he turns to lead us back to my cabin, I stop him. “But maybe we could come back and spend the night out here. I like the lights.”
“Done.” He picks me up. “Come on, peach. No kissing on the way though. I nearly ran into five trees the last time we did this.”
I laugh. Then I kiss him, and he kisses me back.
We walk into a tree, but only one, which isn’t bad considering neither of us looks where we’re going.