Chapter 5 #2
The words wouldn't come. How exactly did he explain that his entire professional identity had crumbled, that he'd spent days in a fog of self-pity watching streaming shows he couldn't even name now, and that he'd just spent hours looking at crime scene photos of a murdered girl he'd never met, but now wanted to help?
“Ben?" Chase's voice had that edge to it, the one that said he was concerned, and Ben better start talking. "You can tell me anything, you know that, right? Whatever it is, we'll figure it out."
That unconditional support loosened something in Ben's chest. He’d held it all in too long. Something had to give.
"Scott joined a commune," he blurted out. "Or something like that. He's 'finding himself,' apparently. Renouncing capitalism. Living off the grid."
There was a beat of silence before Chase responded.
"Your business partner, Scott? Mr. Software Genius?"
"The very same. He just... left. Gave it all up. And then Martin—" Ben ran a hand through his hair, still finding it surreal to say out loud. "Martin decided that without Scott's genius, the company wasn't worth saving. So instead of hiring someone new, he's shutting it all down."
"Jesus, Ben. That's... When did this happen?"
Ben winced at the question. "Several weeks ago."
Although it hadn’t become real until the office had permanently closed last Friday, and Ben didn’t have anywhere to be anymore.
"Several weeks? And you're just telling me now? You didn’t mention this at all when we last talked.”
"I know, I know." Ben sighed, turning away from the window. "I should have told you before. I just... I didn't want to admit it was happening. Then I didn't want to admit how I was handling it. Or not handling it, more accurately."
Another pause, then: "It's fine. You told me when you were ready."
There was no judgment in Chase's voice, just that steady acceptance that had always been his brother's hallmark. It made the next words easier.
"I'm not sure I'm ready now," Ben admitted. "I don’t know anything about anything, and before I thought I had it all figured out, which of course, is bullshit. But I just read this case file, and it's such a mess, and I needed to talk to someone who would understand."
"Case file?" Chase sounded genuinely bewildered. "A crime case file? Are you planning on becoming a cop now? Following in Dad's footsteps? Because if so, I think Lulu might have some thoughts about that."
Despite everything, Ben found himself smiling. "No, nothing like that. It's my neighbor's file. Kelly. She's a podcaster who investigates cold cases, and she asked me to look at her friend's murder file. A high school girl was killed over a decade ago."
"And you said yes?" Chase couldn't quite keep the surprise from his voice. "That doesn't sound like the Ben Reilly I know. The Ben I know plans his entire year in advance and has backup plans for his backup plans."
Okay, maybe I’m wound a bit tight. But there’s nothing wrong with being organized.
"I know, I know. But I was curious. And honestly, Chase? The investigation was a joke. The whole thing was mishandled from start to finish. And Kelly's been carrying this around for years, trying to get justice for her friend when everyone else seems determined to forget it ever happened. She’s going back to her hometown for her sister’s wedding, and while she’s there, she plans to look into the case again. "
There was a long pause, and for a moment, Ben thought the phone connection had been lost.
"Kelly sounds like quite a woman."
"She is," Ben agreed, thinking about how she'd stood up to Kevin in the hallway.
What a douchebag. "You should have seen her with her boyfriend yesterday.
Ex-boyfriend now. He was trying to bully her, acting like he owned her time, and she just..
. she didn't back down. She's ballsy, Chase. I'll give her that."
"Ballsy," Chase repeated, amusement evident in his voice. "High praise from you. So you like her?"
Ben paused, caught off guard by the question. He hadn’t put any thought into how he felt since it didn’t matter. He wasn’t looking for a girlfriend who lived across the hall.
"Like? I don't know about that. I admire her gumption."
"Gumption? What are you, ninety? People don't say gumption anymore, Ben."
"Fine. I admire her courage, then. Her determination." Ben sat on the edge of his sofa, pushing the file further away. "She reminds me of Mom, actually."
"Mom?" Chase sounded genuinely surprised. "Well, that's... interesting."
"Not physically," Ben clarified quickly. "But that same stubbornness. That same refusal to let something go once she believes in it. Mom knew what she wanted and went after it."
"And Kelly knows what she wants, too?"
"Justice for her friend. Answers." Ben sighed. If he was thinking about it this much, how did Kelly feel every day? "It's not a bad thing to want."
"No, it's not. And neither is having someone to help you look for those answers. Especially when that someone has seen more than his fair share of crime scenes thanks to Dad's career choices. I daresay you’ve absorbed more knowledge than you realize.'"
Their father hadn't exactly kept them in a bubble during the Bryson cases, but he’d tried his best to shield them from it as much as possible.
Ben, as the oldest of his siblings and his cousins, had been aware of far more than the others. He’d been old enough to realize that something was wrong, and his parents weren’t acting like normal. The younger kids, including Chase, had been blissfully unaware.
Or so Ben had thought. Had his brother known more than he’d let on?
"It's not that I can actually solve a murder," Ben said after a moment. "But I can at least see the holes in this investigation. And Kelly's been looking at this for so long, she might be missing things just from familiarity. Sometimes you need fresh eyes."
"And your eyes are very fresh these days," Chase observed. "What with all that free time you've suddenly acquired?”
Ben grimaced. "Don't remind me. I feel absolutely useless."
"I think," Chase finally said after a long pause, his voice measured, "that you called me to get some sort of permission to work on this murder case. I think you want to go with this girl to the wedding and help her. So just go. You don't need anyone's permission, least of all mine."
"What?" Ben nearly choked on the word. "Where did that come from? I wasn't thinking that at all."
The denial came automatically, almost reflexively. And yet, even as he spoke the words, some part of him acknowledged that Chase might not be entirely wrong. The idea hadn't consciously occurred to him, but now that Chase had suggested it…
It wasn't the worst idea in the world.
Kelly needed someone to accompany her to her sister's wedding, to act as a buffer between her and her judgmental family.
Ben had experience dealing with difficult dynamics and personalities thanks to years in business and negotiations.
And, he was genuinely interested in Lori Powell's case, bothered by the shoddy investigation and the justice denied.
Plus, they could help each other. His mother's sixtieth birthday celebration was coming up next month. The entire extended family would be there, including aunts, uncles, and cousins who would inevitably ask about his business. Questions he wasn't ready to answer.
Having Kelly accompany him would provide the perfect distraction. Everyone would be so busy wondering about the new woman in his life that they might forget to interrogate him about his career trajectory.
"Perhaps it's not a terrible idea," Ben conceded, moving from his couch to look out the window again. The sun was beginning to peek over the horizon, the city waking up for another busy day. "Although it didn't cross my mind until you suggested it."
“Sure, it didn't. A complete surprise,” Chase laughed. “Never thought about it at all.”
"Really, I wasn't thinking about that." Ben's protest sounded weak even to his own ears. "I was just going to help her look through the file, point out the investigative flaws."
"If that's what you need to tell yourself, go right ahead," Chase said, clearing his throat loudly. "But I think you should do it. Why not? You've got the free time now, and it's interesting to you."
There were sounds and voices in the background, reminding Ben that his brother was at work and needed to open the shop soon.
"For once in your life," his brother continued, "do something you haven't planned out for years. Be spontaneous. Take a chance. Have some damn fun. Do something that's completely out of character for you."
Ben's expression tightened, caught between irritation at being so easily read and grudging acknowledgment that Chase might have a point.
His entire life had been organized around careful planning, calculated risks.
It had worked, too, until Scott decided to renounce capitalism and Martin decided to shut down their company without so much as a heads-up.
Frankly, he didn’t like it when he didn’t have control of a situation.
"Worst-case scenario," Chase was saying, "you won't like it. Honestly, I don’t think you’ll like it, but maybe you will. Maybe you'll find out that everything doesn't have to be written down in a list before you do it. You might surprise us all.”
The words hit uncomfortably close to home. Ben had quite literally been making lists since he was old enough to write, lists of goals, of tasks, of achievements. The to-do list on his desk was just the latest in a lifetime of attempting to impose order on an inherently chaotic world.
And what had all that planning gotten him? A business in ruins. An apartment that felt more like a hotel room than a home.
"I'll think about it," Ben finally said, surprising himself with how much he meant it.
He needed to shift the conversation away from Kelly and the case before Chase extracted any more uncomfortable realizations.
"And by the way, don't tell anyone else about the business being shut down. I'll tell them eventually, when I'm ready."
"Your secret's safe with me," Chase promised. "But don't wait too long. Mom's got a sixth sense about these things. And Dad’s instincts aren’t too shabby either."
"I know, I know. I'll tell them soon." Ben sighed. "Thanks for listening, Chase."
"Anytime. That's what brothers are for." The warmth in Chase's voice was genuine. "Call me tomorrow, let me know what you decide about the investigation."
After ending the call, Ben stared at Lori Powell's file. Kelly's desperate yet hopeful request played over and over in his mind.
Look at the file, please. I've been studying it for years.
Go with Kelly to her sister's wedding? Help her investigate her friend's murder while also shielding her from her meddling parents?
It was probably a damn awful idea. A complication he didn't need while trying to figure out his next career move.
And yet, the prospect was undeniably intriguing. For the first time in weeks, he felt something besides failure and uncertainty. He felt interested. Excited. He hadn’t felt that in a long time.
Too long.
Maybe Chase was right. Maybe it was time to do something unplanned, something spontaneous. Maybe it was time to just say yes and see where it led.