Chapter 10
TALIN
“Did we really have to be involved in all this?” Sam lugs a box from the trunk of my new Bronco. “Didn’t you hire people?”
“Yes, but this is the stuff I only trust to the important people in my life.” I give my brother a winning smile.
“So what the hell am I doing here?” he grumbles, following me to the door as Davit and Annie grab two more boxes.
I pause for a moment and look around the neighborhood. It’s a beautiful section of the city, not at all the kind of place I pictured for Brenden. He strikes me as a cheap studio hidden in the corner of a nondescript building on a quiet, beat-up block, the sort of place meant for disappearing.
Not a multi-million dollar townhouse.
The lockbox still has the keys and the door opens without fuss. I stride inside, looking around—
Only for it to be empty.
“It’s nice?” Davit asks, sounding earnest.
“It’s extremely nice,” Annie confirms. “Look at that molding. And the kitchen’s gorgeous!”
“It’s fucking empty.” Sam dumps his box on the floor of the entryway and peers up at the chandelier. “Though that looks like it’s worth something.”
I punch him in the arm. “Quit it. Why are you always like this?”
He rubs the spot I hit and seems sheepish.
“It’s in my nature, that’s all. What did you all expect?
Did you really think your thief husband would have this place fully furnished?
There’s still a lockbox on the door. He clearly bought it for you.
God, you’re such amateurs.” He stomps back outside to get more of my stuff.
But Sam’s right, as much as I hate to admit it.
A part of me thought I was going to catch a glimpse into my husband’s mysterious psyche.
A person’s home is a reflection of who they are, at least to some extent.
Does he keep everything neat? Is he messy and disorganized?
Food in the pantry, beer in the fridge? Go-bag by the door and guns beneath his pillow?
A physical disappointment rolls through me as I tour the ground floor and find it utterly bare, not a stick of furniture, not an inch of personality.
“At least you get to make it your own, right?” Davit says hopefully. He putters around the kitchen, opening cabinets, knocking on the granite counter tops. “The place has good bones.”
“Beautiful bones,” Annie confirms. “No expense spared.” She takes my arm and steers me toward the stairs as Sam walks past with another box, grumbling to himself. “Imagine what you can do with this place.”
“I honestly didn’t know I was going to have to interior decorate.”
“Really? I mean, even if he did have some of his stinky stuff in here—“ She wrinkles her nose as if the thought of his moldering couches and beer-stained coffee tables insult her personally. “You’d likely toss it all and start over anyway.”
“I know, it’s just, I hoped I was going to learn something about him.” We stop in the master bedroom. The space is enormous, with a huge closet and a gorgeous en suite bath. The shower itself almost fixes my severe let-down.
“What’s there to learn?” Annie runs her fingers down the glass and sighs. “Look at this tile, my love. Who cares who you married when you have Bisazza mosaics in your floor?”
She’s got another good point there. “But what does he like? Does he want a big bed or a small one?”
Her eyebrows shoot up. “You’re going to share a bed?”
“I don’t know! That’s my point!” I walk toward the front windows and peer out at a genuinely gorgeous view of the harbor. “Does he want curtains? Does he like sunlight in the morning? What about coffee?”
“Coffee? Sunlight? Tallie, you have wide-plank European oak flooring and actual hand-carved millwork.”
“What about the closet? How much space does he need?”
“Wolf appliances in the kitchen! And I’m pretty sure that soaking tub is carved from a single block of onyx. You’re going to feel like a princess in that thing.”
“What’s the point of a princess without a prince?”
Annie groans and throws up her hands. “You’re impossible.
Honestly, I keep telling you, he doesn’t matter.
He’s unimportant! This is your life now, my love, and you have to get used to it.
And isn’t it much easier in a place with hospital-grade air filtration in the basement and heated floors throughout?
You have to get over it. You just have to. ”
There’s no use arguing with her, because she’s not totally wrong. That’s the worst part.
It is easier to accept my place in the world when that place is surrounded by luxuries most people never dream about.
When I was younger and coming up in the world, this is the sort of home I lusted after.
I scrolled past images of places like this one on Instagram a dozen times a day and prayed that I’d marry a man in the life who could provide me with this heaven.
Now I have it, and all I can think about is the man himself?
His hands on my chest, his mouth on my mouth, his heat surrounding me? His body half-submerged on a piano, working on a hidden safe, trying to steal something from the fucking Sarkissian family themselves…
“Can I have a few minutes to myself?” I say it as calmly as I can. If I show any more weakness, Annie’s going to scream. She’s already impatient as it is.
“Fine, take some time. I’ll help Sam carry the last of your stuff before he freaks out and starts ripping the copper wires from the walls. I swear that boy’s more trouble than he’s worth.”
Annie departs and I’m left alone in my beautiful, empty bedroom.
What do I want from this place? Honestly, if I’m really looking deeply at myself, what do I need? How am I going to survive here, knowing I’m barely more than a token wife?
I can fill my days. It’s not that hard. I’ll get a degree, find a job, or volunteer at a soup kitchen. I doubt Brenden will care. But is that enough? Can I come home to this beautiful house in a wonderful neighborhood and know it’s completely empty?
Even when I fill it with furniture, it’ll never feel done.
Because a home’s not a home without the people in it.
And where’s my damn husband?
I lose track of time standing at the window until there’s a creak behind me. Davit slinks into the room, wringing his hands together. “Hey, Tallie, you good?”
“I’m fine.” I try to smile for him, I really do, but it must look like I’m literally ripping out my own hairs. He grimaces.
“Annie says you’re having a hard time.”
“Did she say that?”
“Her exact words were, Tallie’s being an overly emotional diva and I seriously cannot. Sam, you’re with me, let’s inventory this place. I thought I’d come, you know, check in.”
Warmth floods me. Real, genuine warmth, which is shockingly hard to come by in my family.
I have eight siblings but none of them make me feel like I’m seen, heard, or loved all that often, even though I know most of them would die for me.
Especially Annie: she’d rip the fucking heart out of anyone who hurt me, and I’d do the same for her.
But that’s not how we are. We’re not huggers. We’re not emotionally available. I learned young and fast that I have to bury it all or else I’ll get the crap kicked out of me, not even by my parents, but from my ice-cold siblings.
Only Davit’s different. I think because he’s the youngest, he’s been protected from the rest of us.
Me, Annie, and Sam don’t care if he’s soft, and the others don’t live at home anymore, so they can’t do much to change him at this point.
Mom and Dad are checked out and haven’t been interested in child rearing since probably Mariam was born about six kids ago. So Davit slipped through the cracks.
I wipe tears from my eyes. “You know what’s sick? I don’t want to be married to him, but I really wish he were here.”
“Oh Tallie, I’m so sorry.” He comes closer and gives me a tight hug. “I don’t think he’s a bad person. Does that help at all?”
“Not really. Wouldn’t a good person be here? When his wife is moving in? He knows, but he just doesn’t care.”
“Would you be here? In his place? It’s complicated, the two of you, and this house is clearly…”
“It’s nothing. It’s a shell.”
“I guess, or maybe it’s a new beginning. It’s a blank slate. You can do whatever you want here, right? In ways you never could back home. Maybe you can see it that way?”
I hug Davit tighter and let him go. “Yeah, maybe I can.”
He looks out the window and guilt surfaces again, my most cherished of all emotions.
I shouldn’t dump this on him. Davit’s empathetic, he can’t even help himself, and if I take advantage my emotions will overwhelm him, the poor guy.
I have to gather my shit together, at least until later.
I can cry myself to sleep in my empty house when the sun goes down and my siblings abandon me.
“It won’t feel the same without you.” He doesn’t look at me as he says it, but his shoulders are slumped.
“I know. I hate this.”
“But it’s good. You’ll be here… away from back there…” He trails his fingers down the glass. “Annie’s jealous.”
“I bet she is. She nearly lost her mind over the tiles.”
“No, Annie’s jealous of the freedom you have right now. She wants it too badly it kills her.”
I look back toward the steps. Her voice echoes from downstairs, that unmistakable bossy tone, probably telling Sam to go fix something only loosely out of order.
Is Davit right? Annie feels jealous? It’s hard to imagine. She’s always been the perfect one, the pretty twin, the blessed sister. And now somehow, I have something she wants?
“I’ll be okay.” I say it more for myself than for him. “Honestly, I’m not even that far from you guys. It’ll be fine. Besides, I can’t stay here tonight.”
“Why not?”
“There’s no freaking bed.”
He hesitates, looking around the room, and bursts out laughing. His laughter brings mine back and I crack up along with him. We lean on each other, hugging again, before Annie appears in the doorway with a deep frown.
“What the heck is so funny.”
“There’s no bed!” Davit howls with laughter.
Annie rolls her eyes. “God you two are so weird sometimes. The movers are here. When you’re done freaking out, come help direct them please.”