Chapter 20
TALIN
Itry to make sense of it. All morning I run through exactly what could’ve gone wrong. We made it through; he got the key; Lena didn’t catch us. Assuming Brenden didn’t lie about Arsen, there was no reason for him to act like the world’s coming to an end.
All he’d say is the same thing, over and over. We talked business. Let it go.
Now he’s gone, yet again. We went to bed together, but in the morning his side is empty.
I wander through my routine like a zombie.
The whiplash of last night left me emotionally raw.
Whatever went down with him and Arsen, it was like Brenden wrapped all those layers around himself again, all the layers I’d stripped back.
I got to glimpse him, the real him, the man talking about growing up with his terrible parents, the man calling me baby and holding me tight and protecting me, turning his body to shield me from Lena’s sight.
Right until that man was buried under secrets again.
Is this what it’ll be like? Can I really be this man’s wife if I barely ever see the real him?
I’m only partially aware of what’s in front of me and don’t notice the old safe left in the middle of the kitchen table until I already have a cup of coffee brewed and in hand.
“What the heck?” I say out loud, instantly searching the house for any sign of Brenden.
But there’s only the safe with a note taped to the top.
You’re ready for this. And I’m sorry.
Nothing else, but I know Brenden’s handwriting.
I study the lock for a long time. I know what he wants me to do. It’s obvious. This is the sort of lock I’ve been practicing on. Nothing fancy, a standard, consumer-grade model, easily defeated with a bit of skill, but I don’t want to do it.
Part of me wants to rebel.
Screw him and his games. Why put me through this? Why not talk to me like a normal human being?
I know this is the best he can do. Brenden’s whole life has been defined by sneaking through the shadows.
Secrets are all he has, the marrow in his bones, and I can relate to that.
Where he’s been a shadow, I’ve been a spotlight, but that’s a type of hiding too.
I can play a role, try to be the girl everyone wants me to be.
Try to live up to Annie’s perfection even if that’s not possible. That’s safer than the alternative.
Exactly like keeping himself hidden away is safer than revealing himself.
In the end, I can’t help it. I grab my pick set and get to work, cursing Brenden the entire time.
I jiggle the tumblers into place and am rewarded with a wonderful clunking sound as the door swings open.
I don’t know what I expected, but I’m disappointed to find a single folder with papers stacked inside.
I take the dossier out, open it up, and nearly drop it.
Most of the information is typed. But half the numbers were scratched out and neatly replaced by tight, tiny script. Notes are meticulously scrawled in the margins.
I know that handwriting. It’s too damn familiar.
Sam wrote these words.
But what the hell am I looking at?
I collapse into a chair, coffee balanced on a knee, as I flip through the pages and try to understand.
Why did Brenden want me to see this? What could it all mean?
Names and figures repeat, locations, percentages, and a pattern emerges.
Sam mentions poker more than once, and the sums are staggering in a few places.
I know these people, and if this is a tally of what they owe… at some game Sam was running…
I jump to my feet. The coffee mug clattering to the floor and spilling all over. I barely notice. My mouth is dry and my throat is constricted and I feel like I can’t breathe.
The break-in at the house. Davit lying on the cold floor unconscious for God knows how long. That safe hanging open… and Dad so sure he didn’t know what was taken…
I run into the bedroom, ignoring the mess, and throw clothes on.
No more secrets. No more bullshit.
I have to find my husband and I have to kill him.
I bang on the apartment door and wait, seething, dossier tucked under my arm. The building is in a quiet, unglamorous residential area, practically the opposite of where our shared house is. I’d call it a home but that implies a familiarity and comfort that I don’t feel right now.
Because how can it be a home if I’ve been sharing it with a fucking liar?
All this damn time. He sat with my family, listened to my father talk about security, offered his stupid insights, even let Sam babble on about gear and con games and all that crap, and all that time he was lying to our faces.
Was it ever real? What does any of it mean and how deep does the game go?
I feel dizzy. I’m overwhelmed. But most of all, I’m fucking pissed off.
He seems vaguely surprised to find me at his door. “Tallie. That was—“
I shove past him. “Time to talk, you piece of shit.”
The interior is plain. I didn’t expect anything else.
It feels like the house did back when I first moved in.
Staged almost, like he put only enough effort in to make this space livable, but he actively avoided giving it a soul.
Like he’s hiding himself even from the four walls he’s trapped between.
I whirl on him in the living room. He shuts the door and faces me with that infuriatingly calm expression, eyes straying to the papers I have clutched to my side.
“I didn’t think you’d get past the lock that fast, much less get my address.”
“The lock was bullshit and your sister was more than happy to help.” I shake the folder at him. “What the fuck is this, Brenden? And no, before you start giving me some story, I want the god damn truth. What the fuck is this? Did you almost kill Davit? Did you steal this from Sam?”
Brenden shrinks back for one moment, shoulders pulling in, and I think he’s going to do what he always does: disappear.
Because this is always him. He wraps himself in armor and tries to hide in plain sight.
Every time I feel like I’m making progress, there’s a new level to break through, and it’s like Brenden’s always one step ahead of me, receding further into the distance until one day I’m tired of chasing, and today might be it.
He lets out a breath, closes his eyes, and seems to gather himself. “I’ll tell you everything,” he says and moves past me to the kitchen.
“Then start talking.” I don’t follow. He pours himself a drink and I don’t bother to respond when he offers me one. He sips and his hooded eyes meet mine.
“Arsen came to me. He brought me a job and made it clear that I had no choice but to take it. At the time I thought it wouldn’t matter. I’d be gone by now, right? Except I had no idea what it would mean until I’d gotten through that safe and saw what was hiding inside.”
A nasty, sick feeling slithers down into my toes. I want to throw up. Instead, I face him, hugging myself to hide the way my hands shake. “You really did it. You broke into my house. You stole from my family.”
“I stole because the Patron told me to. Because your cousin ordered it.”
“Why do you think I care about that?!” Outrage flares and I bite back a whole dictionary full of nasty curses. “You always have a choice, right?”
“I had no idea that Sam was the target. I swear to you, I didn’t know what Arsen wanted.”
“And Davit? You nearly killed him.”
“He would’ve raised the alarm and things would have gotten very, very complicated if I had gotten caught. I know it was a risk, but I was careful. I stayed with him to make sure he was going to be okay before leaving.”
“Wow, I feel so much better.”
“What could I have done differently? Arsen ordered it. I did what he asked, thinking it would be a simple job, and I’d be out of here before it mattered.”
“You know what my cousin’s going to do to Sam, don’t you? You realize what all that crap means?” Some of my anger wilts as I think about how stupid Sam’s been. I knew he was into some borderline, edgy schemes, but I had no clue how deep it went.
“That’s why I haven’t given Arsen anything yet.
” He finishes his drink in a deep gulp and puts the glass down with a clatter.
“All I regret is putting down Davit. If I could go back, I would’ve been more careful.
I never would’ve put myself in the position to make that hard choice again.
But I don’t regret going in and I don’t regret taking that folder, because if it hadn’t been me, Arsen would’ve sent someone else, and do you think they would’ve held back? ”
I shake my head like I’m physically trying to shrug off his words.
It makes sense, what he’s telling me. The Patron of the Brotherhood isn’t the kind of man you can turn down, especially not after you married his cousin.
And this is probably exactly why Brenden was brought into the family to begin with.
Arsen wanted his own pet thief to dredge up blackmail to use against the rest of the organization to make sure they all stayed in line.
Figures he went after my father first. Papa’s always been a loudmouth and he’s never tried to hide his ambitions. Arsen probably thinks Papa is his biggest rival, and he’s right. Papa has a lot of support inside the Brotherhood.
This was likely all a ruse to keep Papa in place.
Arsen used Brenden just like I’ve been used. Just like he’s always been used.
But Davit… the bruising around his neck…
“I have to think.” I back toward the door. “This is too much. I have to tell my dad… my brothers have to know…”
“Talin, stop.” Something in his tone, and the fact that he uses my real name, makes me listen.
His gaze is iron as he comes around the island.
“You can’t do that. If you go to your father, I promise, you’ll kick off a war you’ll only regret.
There will be blood, and some of it will be your family, your brothers and your sisters.
You can’t tell your father, and you can’t warn Sam. ”
“Why the hell not?!”
“Sam will do something stupid. He’ll panic, and even if he doesn’t, he might tip Arsen off.
Once Arsen knows I have what he asked for, it’s finished.
I can’t keep it from him forever, but I can delay for a while longer, until maybe we can come up with a solution.
But I can’t help anyone if you tell them. ”
The anger hits me again mixed with a bitter aftertaste of helplessness. “You want me to, what, pretend like I don’t know anything? My cousin’s trying to hurt my family. He’s powerful, Brenden.”
“I know that. I know, Tallie, and that’s why I told you the truth. You deserve to know, but if you go to them you’ll only make it worse. Please, I know you have no reason to, but trust me.”
“You stole from my family. You choked out my brother.”
“And I kept critical information from your cousin to protect your family. If Arsen realizes what I’ve done, he’ll kill me. That’s how important you are to me, Tallie. If you go to them now, you’ll throw that all away. Give me time to figure out how we can fix this. Please, Tallie.”
I want to scream in his face. The injustice of this situation. Sam’s an idiot, but he’s not dangerous and he’s not a traitor. He only wants to feel like he’s bigger than he is, and instead he got in deep, drowning in his own grand vision of power and influence. All over some stupid poker games.
I hate it, but Brenden’s right. If I tell my father that might risk triggering a serious confrontation, and I don’t think my family will survive it. They’re all involved with the Brotherhood at some level, except for Miriam and Tate, but they’ll probably get dragged in too before it’s all done.
How many siblings will I have left once the blood dries?
Damn him. I’m so angry with Brenden I can barely breathe.
“I understand why you did it.” I turn my back on him to keep myself from breaking down. “But I can’t forgive you right now. Not after what you did to Davit. You lied, Brenden. You kept this from me when you should have told me right away. We could have figured it out together.”
“I didn’t know.” His voice is hoarse and more emotional than I’ve ever heard. “What this is…”
He trails off, but I know what he means. That only makes it harder.
“Don’t come home.”
“Tallie—“
“I need time to think. Stay here and don’t come home.”
He grunts in reply like I’ve stabbed him in the guts.
“I’m going to the bank tomorrow. I’m opening the safe deposit box.”
“Then I’ll meet you there.”
“You don’t have to come.”
“Like I’m going to let you do anything without me now?” I glare at him over my shoulder. “I’ll meet you at nine sharp. Don’t fuck me over again.”
“I tried to protect you. I really did.”
“Yeah, well, it doesn’t feel that way.”
I shove out through the door. In the hall, I give myself permission to break, ever so slightly. I choke out an angry sob but quickly bottle it back up again. This nightmare is far from over and I can’t let myself fall apart before it’s over.
I know Brenden had no choice. I know it on a rational level, but emotionally I can barely take it. The way he went about things, the way he hid this from me only to reveal it through some stupid, childish game, and his insistence that he’s doing the right thing only pisses me off even more.
My family’s future is on the line and I had a right to know sooner.
Still, he told me, and he did go against Arsen to protect Sam.
I’m dizzy and overwhelmed. There has to be a way out of this. Some way to protect my brother.
And as much as I hate it, I’m going to have to work with Brenden to figure out how, because I can’t do it on my own.