Chapter 42
MASON
Dawn breaks cold and gray over Blackthorn Ranch.
I let myself into the main house, pushing through the kitchen door with Shadow at my heels, the dog's nails clicking against the hardwood. The smell of coffee hits first, strong and bitter, exactly what I need after my sleepless night. I was too wound up with thoughts of Lily to settle down.
Jake's at the stove, spatula in hand. Luke's at the table with his laptop open and a mug halfway to his mouth. They both look up when I enter.
“You look like hell,” Jake says.
Luke snorts.
Ignoring both of them, I head straight for the coffeepot and pour myself a cup that's more sludge than liquid. Shadow settles near the door, watching me with those dark, knowing eyes.
Jake flips something in the pan—eggs, maybe bacon. “You were out late last night.”
It's not a question.
Luke shoots me a wicked grin. “Better tell us where you were before you get grounded.”
“Turner's ranch. Kelly was there.” I take a long pull of coffee and feel it burn down my throat. “So was Lily.”
The spatula goes still. Luke sets his mug down carefully.
“She went on a scouting expedition and got too close,” I continue, my voice flat and tactical. “Kelly came within fifty yards of her position. She was pinned.”
“Jesus,” Jake mutters.
Exactly. I sit at my usual spot at the table, across from Luke. “I triggered the motion alarm on the west side and drew him off. She got out clean.”
Luke leans back in his chair, arms crossed. “So you compromised your position to save her.”
“Yes.”
“And she knows it was you?” Jake asks.
“Yes.” There’s no fucking way I’m telling them I followed her home and then sexted her from my truck while I got myself off. We’re brothers, but there’s such a thing as TMI. Unless you’re Luke, and I’m not.
Jake turns off the burner, moves the pan to a cold element. He pulls out a plate and begins to load it. “You went there specifically for her. Not general surveillance.”
That's not a question either.
I nod. “Yes.”
The kitchen goes quiet except for Shadow's breathing and the faint hum of the refrigerator. I drink my coffee and wait for whatever's coming next.
Luke's the one who breaks the silence.
“So.” He tilts his head, studying me with the same precision he uses to assess a tactical situation. “You’re still sure you aren’t thinking with your dick?”
I meet his eyes. “I’m not.” At least not where Lily’s safety is concerned.
Jake sets the spatula down and turns to face us fully. “Mason doesn't think with his dick. That's not his problem.” There's something almost sympathetic in his expression as he brings the plate over to the table. It’s piled with bacon. “Which means this is serious.”
Luke grabs a piece like he hasn’t eaten in days, but his gaze never leaves mine. “You want her?”
I don't hesitate. “Yes.”
The word lands in the kitchen like a stone dropped into still water. Final. Unequivocal. The kind of certainty I've spent my entire life avoiding because certainty means vulnerability and vulnerability means risk.
But there's no other answer.
I want Lily Carter. I want her safe. I want her close. I want her mine in a way that has nothing to do with logic or tactical advantage and everything to do with the fact that she's gotten under my skin so deep I can't separate her from my own pulse anymore.
Jake and Luke exchange a look—one of those silent conversations brothers have when they've been through enough hell together that words become optional.
Then they both nod.
“Okay,” Jake says simply.
“She's in,” Luke adds. “We've got you.”
That's it. No judgment. No interrogation. Just acceptance.
The tension I didn't realize I was carrying releases from my shoulders.
“She's complicated,” I say, because they need to understand what they're signing up for. “I don’t know what she’s thinking yet, but Lily's here for vengeance, not justice.”
“Vengeance I understand,” Jake says quietly.
Luke nods. “And Turner's already our problem. If she's hunting him too, that makes her an asset.”
“She's more than an asset.” The words come out harder than I intend. “She's not a tool. She's not a weapon we deploy. She's—”
“Yours,” Luke finishes. “We get it.”
I drain the rest of my coffee, set the mug down on the counter. Shadow lifts his head, watching me.
“There's something else,” I say. “Last night at her place—”
“You went to her house after the alarm?” Jake's eyebrows rise.
“Had to make sure she got home safe. Had to make sure she was alive and whole,” I say, turning to Jake. I know he’ll understand, given how he feels about Emma. “We talked. She kissed me.”
“And you didn’t stay?” Luke asks incredulously.
“No.”
Luke makes a face. “Because your dick hasn’t been lonely long enough?”
“Because she's been through hell. Because she needs to choose this without me pushing. Because if I'd stayed—” I stop again, jaw tight. “I would've taken everything she was offering and more, and she deserves more than that.”
Jake's expression softens. “You're protecting her from yourself.”
“Someone has to.” And I’m fucking glad I left, because I would have been all over her, and she’s essentially a virgin. A vibrator does not count—not in my mind.
“That's not how this works, Mason.” Luke's voice is steady, certain. “You can't protect someone by staying away. You just end up alone while they walk into danger without backup.”
Point made. I think about the moment when I thought Kelly was going to find Lily and the coffee in my belly churns. “I'm not staying away. I'm giving her space. I’m going slow.”
“To what? Decide if she wants the guy who's been watching her for weeks? The guy who triggered an alarm to save her life? The guy who kissed her back and then ran?” Luke shakes his head. “She's already decided. You're the one still fighting it.”
The truth of that hits harder than it should.
“She's dangerous,” I say quietly. “To herself. To the mission. To me.”
“Good,” Jake says. “You need dangerous. You need someone who won't let you disappear into your own head.”
I look at him—at the man who found Emma and chose her despite every tactical reason not to. Who built a life with her even though it meant vulnerability and risk and all the things we were trained to avoid. “How do you do it? How do you let someone in when you know what it costs?”
Jake's smile is small and sad and knowing. “You stop counting the cost. You just hold on and hope you're strong enough to keep them safe.”
“And if you're not?” I ask.
“Then you get stronger.”