44. Chapter Damian
D ays blend into one another. It's just me and my newfound buddy—the booze. It’s the only company I've got since I've shut everyone else out. What’s the point of talking to anyone? None of them are Aria.
I fucked up, that much is obvious. I should've been honest with her. Over the past year, she's been my rock, helping me transform into a man I can genuinely be proud of. I envisioned a future where I'd stand by her side for the rest of our lives. But now? It's like all those hopes and dreams don't mean a damn thing.
My life’s ruined. The woman I love slipped through my fingers. I’m about to plead guilty for something I didn’t do for her sake. I don’t even care about the money, the fame, or my reputation. I just wish I had one more day with her. If I had known that the last time I kissed her would be the final one, I would have savored it more. I would've expressed everything in my heart, held her close, and gazed at her until every detail was etched in my memory—every feature, freckle, laugh. Everything .
My lawyer called me into his office to talk one more time and go over the plan for tomorrow’s indictment. Considering my name and status and the fact this is my first crime, I may be looking at serving about eight years, even less if I stay in line. I have a pounding headache from my hangover, but I need to get this taken care of. Last thing I want is anyone barging into my fucking house. I almost fired my concierge for letting people in. Luck was on his side, though, because every name was on the visitor’s approved list. I wonder how Alex got his name in there, but again, this man has done more than enough. That was probably nothing for him.
I head into Liam's office and drop into one of the chairs. “Let's get this over with.”
Liam presses his lips together, crossing his legs, and fixates his eyes on me.
“What?” I snap.
“There won’t be an indictment.”
My inner alarms start ringing. Is Alex going off the rails and pinning everything on Aria? I haven't caught anything on the news—well, I haven't exactly been easy to reach. I've cut myself off from the world, so it's a potential scenario. I’m officially entering freak-out territory, so if he doesn’t clarify in the next two seconds, I’m going to fucking lose it.
“I can't believe you kept the threats from me. It's not just about the legal side of things; you should've told me as a friend, Romano,” he says, shaking his head in disbelief. “I'm both your lawyer and your friend—what’s the matter with you?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie. I’ve gotten so good at lying lately, it barely feels like one anymore.
The door swings open, and as I glance back, the last person I thought I would see comes in. I frown, as millions of questions rush through my mind.
“You do know what he’s talking about. Stop acting stupid,” Aria retorts.
I stand up, looking at both of them. Matteo and Enzo walk into the office as if it's a regular day, leaving me utterly confused.
“What's happening here?” I ask, utterly confused.
“Oh, cugino , if you think I’m going to miss Red ripping you a new one, you’re insane.” He snickers.
Matteo nods. “Same here. Let’s go, Red. My money’s on you.”
Aria shifts her gaze in their direction. “If you don't scram in the next second, I'm gonna stab both of you with my knife,” she warns with a knowing look .
They both crumble like scared kids away from the office. I've never seen those two so terrified for their lives. It’s actually quite refreshing.
She looks over my shoulder. “You too, Hawkins. Take a hike.”
“But this is my office,” he deadpans.
She folds her arms expectantly, the movement pushing her cleavage together, and I’m doing everything I can to avoid looking.
Liam sighs as he stands up. “I guess I’m taking a hike.” He walks out of the office and shuts the door.
“What—”
“Sit down,” she orders.
Alright then. She’s showing a side I haven't seen before. Not that I mind; if anything, I find her even more attractive—if that’s even a possibility. To see her so sure of herself, not afraid to speak up. Her confidence makes my heart swell with pride.
“I’ve been wondering about the cosmic debt you must have accumulated to be stuck with Alex as your brother in this lifetime,” she comments while casually leaning against the desk.
“You know?” I whisper.
She nods. “I know everything.”
My eyes snap to hers. “How?”
“Wouldn’t you love to know?” she retorts.
“Aria, I swear to God—”
She throws her hand up to halt me, saying, “ I'm still talking.”
I thin my lips, opting to not say anything.
“You should've given us a heads up, Damian. We would've done whatever it took to support you,” she continues.
I interject, “You don’t understand—”
She interrupts, “Yes, I do—”
I shout, “No! You fucking don’t. He was going to pin everything on you, Aria. It was either save myself or save you.”
“That wasn’t your decision to make! You should have talked to me about it. We would have come out with a plan,” she shouts back.
I let out an exasperated breath, getting up from the chair. “You don’t fucking get it, do you? Don’t worry, I’ll spell it out for you. I love you so much it burns me . There’s nothing in this world that would stop me from protecting you, from saving you. I will gladly sacrifice everything for you, and I’m not going to apologize for it. I will gladly burn a million times over if it means I get to love you for the rest of my days, and that’s the fucking truth.”
It's like this massive burden finally lifts as I speak my truth. So damn liberating. I'm done with pretending to be someone I'm not. She taught me to love intensely, and loving her is the toughest and most exciting thing I've ever experienced. But the thrill of knowing I get to love such a strong woman makes it all worthwhile. Every bit of it. I know she thinks I’m the one that saved her from herself, but she’s dead wrong. She saved me, instead. For the longest time, she didn’t see how fierce and strong she was. Sure, I helped her a little, but that was all her.
She stands from the desk, shouting, “And you don’t get that I love you so much, it fucking hurts , Damian. You need to understand that I too would do anything for you. All my life, I’ve been trying to gather the pieces of my broken life together, not wanting to share them with anyone else because I’m scared to be broken again. I can’t handle one more heartbreak! But for you? I’d give you my all. Because you sneaked into my life, broke down my walls, and made me believe in myself . In you . In us . And for that and much more, I love you .”
The confession shocks me. I’ve never felt loved. All my life, I’ve been numb to it. Gave up. Never thought it was a possibility. I never thought this all consumable love was possible for me. But she changed my way of thinking; changed me for the better.
I close the distance between us, our lips colliding with this intense, desperate kiss. Gripping the back of her head, I deepen the kiss, our tongues clashing. She responds to the kiss by wrapping her arms around my shoulders, and I revel in the sweet sound of the whimper that escapes her mouth, engulfing it with my own. Gasping for air, we both step back, needing a moment to catch our breath .
“You ready to tell me what the hell you did?” I ask.
“Nope. You'll have to beg a whole lot for me to spill.”
“Sounds like a plan, Red .”
“Don’t call me that, Damie .”
God, I missed this woman.