Chapter 28 #2
I lower my voice. “Don’t go. Please. I can’t figure out how to do this shit,” I say, words cracking apart as they come out. “I don’t understand how to be the guy who talks about feelings or does things right. I don’t know how not to fuck everything up.”
She doesn’t move. “You could start by telling me the truth. Tell me who you’ve been fucking.”
I flinch, jaw clenched, heart thudding.
“You want the truth?”
“Yes.”
I drag a hand down my face. “I fought.”
She blinks.
The seconds that follow are dead silent. A heartbeat later: “You what?”
“I’ve been fighting,” I say, eyes locked on hers. “Underground. For cash.”
She stares at me, trying to make sense of it, as if she looks hard enough, the words will rearrange themselves into something easier to understand. Her shoulders drop. “Jesus Christ, Zane.”
“I didn’t plan it,” I blurt out. “It just happened. Griff, this guy who was in one of my homes knew some guys who run fights. Said they’d pay good money. And I needed it. We needed it.”
She blinks. Her mouth opens, but she’s too stunned to speak.
She shakes her head, takes a step back, and another. “I needed it. You think I asked you to do that, Zane?”
“No,” I say, voice rising, my frustration boiling. “I’m trying to give you something better. Something stable.”
“You think I give a shit about money? You think I care about some fucking stable future if it means losing you in the process?”
“Then, tell me what it is,” I shout, the words ripping out of me. “Because I’m standing here fucking bleeding for you, Skylar!”
Her eyes burn into me. “No, you’re bleeding because you can’t stop fighting ghosts that aren’t even chasing you anymore.”
That one lands deeper than I expect. Cuts right to the bone.
I drag a hand through my hair, wincing when my fingers graze the bruise on my temple.
“You don’t get it,” I bite out. “Every time I step into that ring, I win. For once, I fucking win at something. It means I’m not some useless fuck-up who only ever drags everyone down.”
Her arms cross tightly over her chest. Her eyes glisten. “I didn’t ask you to fight for me. I wanted you to tell me the truth.” She swallows. “I just wanted you.”
The space between us hums, thick with all the words we’ve never said.
The entire world feels too small to hold everything that’s happening here.
I take a step forward until we’re face to face. My hands itch to touch her, but I force them to stay at my sides. I have to get this out first. I have to tell her how I fucking feel before she walks away for good.
Swallowing, I drag up the words from deep down. I’m scared of saying too much, but I push through.
“I’ve never fucking loved anything in my life,” I say, voice rough. “Nothing ever felt worth it.”
Her eyes stay locked on mine, but I don’t stop.
“But I love you.” The words tear out of me.
“I fucking love you, Skylar.” My voice cracks, but I keep going.
“I didn’t mean to. Hell, I didn’t even know it was happening until it already had.
But it’s here.” I tap my chest. “In my fucking heart. You’re in my head every second of every day.
When I’m lying in bed beside you staring at the ceiling, trying not to drown in everything I can’t say. ”
Her lips part, but nothing comes out. A stray tear slides down her cheek, catching the light as it falls.
I press on, even though my throat’s closing around the words.
“I wake up and you’re the only thing that makes sense in this fucked-up world. I tried not to love you. God, I fucking tried. I did everything to push it down. Buried it under anger, distraction, pain. But you… you crawled under my fucking skin and made a home there.”
I step closer, eyes locked on hers.
“I have no fucking idea how to be me anymore without you. You’ve got my heart, Sky, and I don’t even think you fucking meant to take it.
But it’s yours. All the broken, fucked-up pieces of it.
You own me in a way no one ever has. I don’t have the right words, not the sweet ones you deserve.
I’m not built for that shit. But this… me standing here, telling you this, it’s everything I’ve got. ”
I grab her face, my thumbs catching the tears on her cheeks.
“You want the truth?” My voice scrapes out of me. “I’m fucking terrified of needing anyone. Of what that does to a person. But I need you, Sky.”
“You could get killed, Zane,” she says, her voice quieter now.
“Yeah,” I rasp. “But I won’t.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I don’t need to,” I say, leaning in, forehead pressing to hers. “I’ve got something to fight for now.”
Her hand lifts, palm flattening over my chest, right over the heart I pretend doesn’t beat for anyone.
“You’re such an idiot,” she whispers.
“Yeah,” I breathe. “But I’m your idiot.”
She exhales. Her eyes don’t move from mine. And then she says, “I love you too, Zane.”
The words land and for a second, I forget how to fucking breathe.
No one’s ever said that to me before.
It wraps around my ribs, wedges between the cracks I didn’t know were still bleeding.
“You mean it?” I ask, and fuck, I hate how broken I sound.
She nods, eyes glistening. “Yeah. I mean-”
I don’t let her finish. I kiss her like I’ve been crawling through glass, and she’s the first breath I’ve had in weeks.
It’s not soft.
It’s fucking brutal.
All teeth and heat and need. Her bag hits the floor with a thud, and I grip her hips, yanking her against me. My hands find the dip of her spine, the curve of her ass.
She moans into my mouth, fingers in my hair as if she’s anchoring herself to something solid.
I bite her bottom lip, and she gasps. Every bruise on my body disappears under the press of her body against mine.
I pull back, but only just.
“You’re mine, Skylar,” I rasp, voice strained.
With calloused fingers, I slip my hands under her shirt, causing her breath to hitch. Pressing my hard cock against her, she lets out a sexy moan that always ignites my desire for her.