Chapter 30
Mace
The good times and busy bar were everything right in my world. The jukebox blared, the patrons’ laughter hitting an octave just above the music, and the never-ending beer pours were what I knew best.
I nodded to the beat as I worked as hard as I had ever worked. It was a Thursday night, leading into a three-day holiday, so I was working an extra night this week, and the town turned out like they always did.
“Mace, I need my screwdriver,” Lori yelled in that piercing tone of hers from her spot where the waitresses gathered, waiting for their orders. The high-pitched sound that both her and Mariah Carey made didn’t bother me this time as I reached for the proper glass to build the drink.
“Mace, I’m going out to take a call,” Tommy called loudly, standing on the rung of the barstool directly in front of me. I barely lifted my gaze from making drinks.
“Keep your coat on the chair or it won’t be here when you get back,” I yelled back as I slid the requested drink over to Lori.
Nico stood directly across the bar from me. Arms crossed menacingly, staring… no, glaring around the room. He was such an eyesore to the good time around him that I wondered why his presence wasn’t questioned.
It had been one full day since Slade had dropped his atomic bomb, and I’d only communicated with him two times. Both times by text. Both only so he could give some excuse that it wasn’t a good time for him to talk.
Only once did he manage to say “I love you” before signing off.
My hands went a million miles an hour, all repetitive work. Reading orders and preparing drinks was something that I didn’t have to think about as my mind was lost to Slade.
He loved me. He did. His silence was only due to the guilt he carried over everything.
No, that brand of logic, such as it was, did sound ridiculous.
But, I got it, and I knew one thing for certain: that actor did, in fact, love me to the moon and back.
My problem was that I missed him communicating with me all the time.
Slade was my love, but also my best friend.
He knew me and accepted me for who I was as a person.
By Sunday, when Slade came back to Texas, I was sure to be my own version of wrecked. Another piece of the world that Slade had to pick up and put back together again.
I barely sensed that the vibe in the bar had shifted. I lifted my gaze to find the source of the disruption, half expecting one of these dumb cowboys to try to pick a fight with Nico. I searched for my father to handle the tension.
When I realized Nico was pushing his way through the crowd, heading my direction, I froze, a glass slipping from my hand. Between us were a lot of heads bent, groups gathering to stare at their cell phones.
My father came in through the front door. Tommy jogged through that same door, unease written on his face.
“Let’s go,” Nico said, reaching across the bar top to take hold of my T-shirt, dragging me out from behind my bar station.
His grip was strong. Whatever was in his path to freedom was knocked over.
It was such a startling move that I let it happen.
The silence around us was louder than anything I’d heard before.
“That way,” my father pointed.
“What happened?” I asked, moving in the direction Nico led until I matched him stride by stride. We were through the back door; Lori’s car was there waiting. She was behind the wheel.
Okay, my family was liking all this way too much.
Nico guided me to the back seat, putting a hand on my head, shoving me downward into the vehicle.
“What the fuck?” I managed as Nico climbed into the back with me, using my body for traction as he continued over the center console to take the front passenger seat.
The back door wasn’t shut when the sedan jumped forward, tossing me from one end of the seat to the other.
Lori hit the clutch, spinning the car in a one-eighty turn, a move fit for any Fast and Furious movie. She drove like a bat out of hell, leaving the bar in the rearview mirror.
“You can slow it down,” Nico barked in his deep voice.
“No way,” Lori declared, her upper body inches from the steering wheel. “Who knows when I’ll ever get to do this again.” The clutch dropped again, jerking and sprinting us around a curve until we reached full throttle again.
“What happened?” I asked, fearful for my life. Nico extended his phone over the front seats to the back. I thought Slade was on the other end, but when I finally looked at the screen, I saw a picture of me, shirtless, laughing in front of Slade.
“Scroll,” Nico instructed.
“What site is this?” I asked, tapping the screen.
“Daily Mail. They pay the most for content right now,” Nico hollered to me over the engine noise.
I had no idea what tabloid that was, but I swiped my thumb up the screen, seeing my and Slade’s personal private moments captured in photos. The last picture was where Slade and I were huddled up on the sofa, kissing.
The pictures had to have been taken from outside, through the windows Slade always kept open.
I started over from the first one. The one that bothered me the most was a picture of Slade in his underwear, me in my tighty-whities. Our bodies were not the same. I looked like I had a long-standing dad bod next to Slade Whitaker.
Luckily, before I demanded I be taken to a gym, Slade’s name appeared at the top of the screen.
I answered without considering this was Nico’s phone. “Hey. Are you okay?”
“Who’s this?” Slade barked.
Words froze in my throat due to the way he spoke to me. The tone held all the anger he had told me he used to deal with his life, I just hadn’t believed him. He’d always been kind and patient with me.
Nico plucked the phone out of my hand. “I’m here, boss.”
Any wind left in my sails vanished as I sat back in the seat and let Lori’s driving shift me left and right. Slade hadn’t known who I was. I reached for my cell phone, checking to see if he’d tried to call me first. He hadn’t.
“Here. He wants to talk to you,” Nico said, the phone thrust back to me. “Slow down, Lori. We don’t need an accident right now.”
I brought the phone to my ear, dropping my chin to my chest. I didn’t speak, staring into the darkness of the floorboard.
“You there?” Slade asked in a tone I finally recognized.
“Yeah,” I said, unsure how to proceed.
“Was that you who answered the phone? I’m sorry for barking at you.” Slade’s voice held tension, and stress, but the tone was apologetic, and I let it ease the sudden burst of confusion. “Say something, Mace.”
“I’m okay. Nico showed me the pictures posted…”
Slade cut me off. “I’m sorry, Mace. I felt like the pictures wouldn’t post. I should’ve just paid,” Slade said, bleakly.
“No, you made the right decision. We prepared for this, right?” I said, but maybe we hadn’t. I couldn’t remember.
“Your court records have released too.” This time Slade’s voice held a raw and hollow quality I never wanted to hear from him.
My silence was only due to wondering how the release of my accident report would affect Slade in such a way.
“Baby, I’m deeply sorry to put you in this position,” Slade continued. “I was wrong to let you get to this point.”
“Why haven’t you been textin’ or callin’ me?” I asked quietly. “Have I fucked up your life too much? I get it if you’re resentin’ me.” The words tasted like bile in my throat but had to be said.
“Mace, I’ve wrecked your life. I can’t get past it. I’m so disappointed in myself,” Slade explained, his hurt ringing through every word.
“No, I don’t feel that way at all. You’ve given me my life back. I don’t want to lose you,” I said, desperation edging each syllable.
“I’ve got a lot going on. I’ve replaced most of my staff and I probably should have had a plan for that,” he said. “I don’t know where I stand with anything.”
“Are you still comin’ home on Sunday?” I asked, my hands itching to touch him, to remind Slade what mattered most.
“Of course. I’ve wished you were here with me many times. You make me steady.”
“Okay. Text me more. We’re already almost home. Lori’s drivin’. I can’t believe we’ve survived gettin’ here,” I said, this time loud enough for her to hear and hoping that it lightened Slade in some way.
“Shut up,” she called over her shoulder. “I saved the day.”
“You’re staying where I can see you,” Nico commanded to me.
“Did you hear that?” I asked Slade.
“Yeah. We still don’t know the source of the photos, but Nico’s on to something. We should have more answers in the next day. If you stay put on the ranch, it’d help my head,” Slade said.
“Okay. Lori’s stayin’ at my place. I’ll be at your place, but I’ll have to feed the animals.”
“Why’s she at your place?” Slade asked.
“Don’t really understand why, except my family’s lovin’ all this attention. I’ve learned tonight she’s a stunt driver. There’s more to my family than I realized,” I said, leaving out the part about the funding drive the sanctuary was doing in the background of everything else going on.
“I have to go. I’ll call you.” Slade disconnected the line without the two to three minutes of our customary I love yous that we normally gave.
How badly was this going to change us?
=?=
Slade
Friday
I pounded the pavement from my car to the front doors of my LA home, refusing to lessen my stride as I pushed through the door and tossed my keys on the entry table.
At some point, someone on staff would move my flashy sports car to the garage and have it back out front for me in the morning.
Those parts of my life worked seamlessly.
Too bad the rest didn’t operate with the same precision.
I padded through the foyer into my formal living room where I kept the best vodka.
Screw the glass, I lifted the bottle and drank two long gulps until the burn got the best of me.
I slammed the bottle back on the counter and bent over, willing myself to keep the liquor down as I recalled the food I’d eaten that day.
I couldn’t remember eating so I went for the kitchen for a piece of toast or crackers to help absorb all the alcohol I intended to drink that night.
“Mr. Slade, you’re home early,” my housekeeper said, getting to her feet from the floor she insisted needed to be properly scrubbed every day.
“Yeah,” I said and disappeared into my super tidy pantry. More than anything, I wanted to take my hand and swipe it over the orderly rows. I was tired of everything bein’ exactly perfect for me. I wasn’t. I was a deeply flawed man.
“You’ll mess up your dinner,” she said as I left the pantry with a box of crackers. It didn’t matter what kind. They were carbs, something I never ate, but I would that day. I scooted past her, heading for my bedroom.
“I’ll find something to eat later. Take the rest of the day off,” I said, not sure of the time of day, or if she left for the day, or if she lived here full-time.
Who had the bandwidth to remember those things.
Fired.
The word alone weighed like a boulder on my shoulders.
I hadn’t expected Titan’s Fall to dump me.
I imagined we’d find a way to allow me to finish the season, possibly part-time, but instead, they took my fucking out clause, paid me the money owed, and sent me on my way.
Now, they could claim they hadn’t fired me, which was technically true, but the effect was the same.
All I had managed was to talk my way into letting me drop the news on social media first. Tommy was working on that post right now.
Fired. That word wouldn’t get out of my head.
I dug into the box, pulling out several small crackers and shoving them into my mouth. My saliva instantly vanished. As I chewed the awful tasting treat, I checked the box. Yep, exactly as I suspected, they were healthy, vitamin-laced cardboard.
I dragged my cell phone from my front pocket. If I was going to wreck the formula my body operated on, I wanted it to be a deep-dish, heavy-meat-and-cheese pizza. Toss in a pure sugar soda to top it off.
Except, I had no idea where to order from. I sat on the edge of a side chair, dropping crookedly down until the seat cushion absorbed my full weight. It was a damned nice chair. One I didn’t remember ever sitting in before.
The phone’s screen taunted me. Mace was my screen saver. I’d added him there that morning. If the world knew who I loved, I was ready to be proud of the love I’d found. Except, I wasn’t. My heart hurt for the pain Mace had to be under. I was ultimately responsible for his hurt.
Doubt was destroying me, but I couldn’t let it go.
Should I have paid the blackmailer’s fees?
Probably.
With a sigh, my back hit the chair cushions as my shoulders slumped. I was embarrassed. What a huge ego I had developed. When push came to shove, I’d blown it. Without question, I knew Steve was behind my termination. He was a vindictive, underhanded son of a bitch. Could I prove it? Probably not.
Money was going to matter. I’d have to sell some of my assets.
The NYC penthouse had to go. I’d use the cash from the sale to dump into an account for Mace and the sanctuary.
From there, I wasn’t sure what else to do.
A life in Texas… Mace was a private guy.
He wouldn’t do well under all this scrutiny.
His brave face attitude with me wasn’t going to last. And like every other time I’d considered Mace in the last twenty hours, tears built in my eyes.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I opened the screen to see many new incoming text messages. The only ones that mattered to me were the ones Mace sent. He’d always been hesitant to text me, but that worry had apparently faded. I had thirteen new messages.
I only stared at the telephone number, not opening the messages. Tommy and Nico had kept me up to date on what was happening in Texas. They’d had some trouble today when an entertainment news truck had the audacity to pull directly up to the sanctuary.
Any available hotels and Airbnbs within an hour of the ranch were full. Mace’s family’s saloon and liquor store were popping. The diner was now open twenty-four hours a day. But my guy had opted to stay away until the buzz died down.
I should text Mace. The guilt was real.
He needed me right now, but did he really?
What had I ever done for Mace except push my ego onto him?
The man deserved so much more than what I gave.
Who was I to have forced my life on such a kind, decent man?
My eyes closed. An exhale ran long and slow. On instinct more than any other reason, I let go of my doubt and opened the messages icon.
I didn’t read his messages for fear one of those texts told me to get lost.
I quickly used my thumbs to ask for time to get back to Mace.
I didn’t know how he’d take the words, but it was far better than my current problems dumping on his shoulders.
I’d given my oath that I’d care for him and I failed.
I tossed the phone on the edge of the sofa beside me and went for my closet.
I needed something with an elastic waistband, ready for my expanding belly.
Terminated.
At least I now knew what that felt like.