24. Lucy
lucy
. . .
If there was one thing that came in handy in all of this, it was that everyone in the town loved my mom. More importantly, everyone had heard of her accident, so they met her misfortune with grace and kindness.
Again, it wasn’t something that I was used to in the city, so it was refreshing to experience it in Port-Cartier. It gave me the time I needed to readjust my mom’s system.
“Mom, the sticky notes have to go. I’m sorry,” I told her the next morning before I was supposed to head to the shop again. Luke and I spent the entire day—and a good portion of last night—sorting through her sticky notes. It wasn’t just the orders; it was also her stock, her financial records, and everything in between. I had no idea how she managed to function like this for so long, but the lack of digitalization put her at risk. If something happened to her shop, she would’ve lost everything she worked so hard to build.
“I like my notes very much, thank you,” she retorted, crossing her hands over her chest. She had woken up cranky because Ed wasn’t letting her overdue it with walking yesterday, and clearly, her mood was reflected in our conversation, too.
“I know you do, Mom. But it’s not good for your business. If you spilled something over your notes, or, if God forbid, something worse happened, you’d lose everything. So, I’m taking it upon myself to handle everything. I’m implementing changes to help you run your business better and quicker. I’ve already sent a few inquiries about different software. And don’t worry, they still come out with printable sheets if you insist on writing everything down, but all of this needs to be deposited somewhere.” She’d lose a little bit of money this week, but it’d be better for her in the long run. After yesterday’s panic attack, I got to thinking about everything that needed to be done. I decided to take it upon myself to send out the most crucial orders—the wedding bouquets she needed to get done this week, while the flower shops outside our town would handle the smaller orders. It turned out that she wasn’t just beloved in Port-Cartier but also the surrounding towns. A week would be enough to start the software I sent inquiries about and add in the pre-existing data. Luke and Mom would both help out with that. It was a good plan; I just needed to get her on board.
“I’ve run my business for the past twenty years, Luce. And I’ve been doing it well. All these changes are unnecessary.”
I sighed, finally sitting down on the bed beside her. “I know you think so, Mom. I completely understand it. But think about how much time it takes you to write everything down. You could get those things done in just a few clicks when you have software…and then you could give more time to things that actually deserve your attention. Like your customers. Or your arrangements.” That had always been her biggest passion. Not sticky notes.
She crossed her arms over her chest. My mom still didn’t look convinced, but if there was one thing I knew that might convince her, it was being able to work even when she was not physically there. We had been on our own for decades before Ed came into the picture, so she was used to working hard and being the breadwinner.
“I don’t know, Luce. I don’t like changes…”
“Well, how about this? When I introduce the software, I’ll get you a second-hand laptop you can use.” The one she had at the flower shop was on its last leg. “Then, I’ll bring over the laptop to you, and you’ll be able to help me as I work at the flower shop. I need all the help I can get, and I…” I trailed off as her face perked up, and I already knew she was convinced. My mom slapped her hands together.
“You know what…maybe you are right. Maybe it is time for a change. I mean, I can’t just sit here and do nothing. I’ll be home-bound for weeks, so if this will allow me to help you out a little…let’s do it. And if it doesn’t work out, I can always return to my sticky notes.” A small laugh escaped my lips as I shook my head.
“I don’t think you’ll be going back once you see how simple the new system is going to be,” I told her. “I’m also going to get you a POS system so you can function like all the other businesses in the twenty-first century.”
“I know I’m not overly fond of changes, but I appreciate all the hard work you’re putting in, pumpkin. I’m sorry I can’t be there to help you with any of this. But Luke seems dedicated to helping you…” Now, there was something else that sparked in her eyes. Curiosity. I already figured out what she wanted to talk about, but it didn’t make saying it out loud any simpler.
“He is helping you with this new system, isn’t he? That’s why you’re spending so much time together, right?” she asked, trying to make it sound innocent, but I knew she was trying to figure out what was happening with us. The truth was, after we slept together, things got more complicated. I didn’t plan for it to happen, but I also couldn’t help the feelings resurfacing once more. Perhaps they had never left in the first place at all. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think of him over the years more times than I cared to admit.
“He is. He’s been a great help,” I told her. “And before you ask…I’m not entirely sure what’s happening between us. I’m trying to figure it out as I go. I’d just like to leave it at that for now…”
“Can we talk?” Luke asked, pulling me away from the crowd of people. Things have been good. We still needed to sort out some things after graduating high school, but I was looking forward to college life with him by my side. It felt like a new beginning—one where many more important things would happen. In a few years, we’d buy that house we’d been eyeing for a long time, get married, and have a few kids. Everything was going the way it was meant to. And I was content with it all. I liked the simplicity and the security of it.
“Of course.” I smiled as I followed him to the base of the giant oak tree we always sat under during our study sessions. When my gaze landed on his face, my stomach turned into knots. Something was wrong. Very wrong.
“Luke? Is everything okay?” I asked. “You’re so pale—did something happen?” I reached for his hand, but he pulled back. Dread washed over me right away, panic rising right to my throat. The last time he looked like this was when he had to put down his dog. His family no longer had a dog, so….
“I don’t know how to do this,” Luke began, looking away from me.
“Just say it,” I quickly told him. “Did something happen? Did someone ? —”
“No, no, it’s nothing like that,” he assured me. When his eyes returned to mine, they were filled with tears. “Luce, I think we should break up.”
A small, involuntary laugh escaped my lips. The reaction didn’t make sense, but it was the one my body had given me— mostly because I didn’t believe it was real. It had to be a prank he was playing on me. There was no way he just said we should break up.
“Stop. It’s not funny.”
“I’m not joking. I think it may be for the best.”
My heart dropped at his words. There was no way this was happening—we were just about to begin a new chapter of our lives together. We had our entire life planned out. Everyone knew it. And everyone admired how mature and secure we were together.
“You…seriously want to break up?” I repeated, hoping that was some sick joke. My brain couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. It made zero sense. He loved me, I knew he did.
“We’re about to go to college. We’re about to leave this town. I just…I think we should experience everything the world has to offer. We’ve been together for so long, and I don’t want either of us to miss out ? —”
“What?” I asked again because this couldn’t be happening. My body hit me with many different physiological reactions, but none were positive. The most prominent was ringing in my ears that I could barely handle.
“I’ve just given it a lot of thought lately. And I’m not sure about our plan anymore…”
My eyes welled up, and I felt sick. In fact, I was pretty sure I was about to throw up at any point now. Maybe all over him. I reared back like I’d been hit. My whole body shook, desperate to get away from him.
“I’m sorry, Lu ? —”
“Don’t you dare!” I yelled at him. I didn’t want to hear any excuses after he strung me along. A few people looked at us, but it was the last thing I cared about. “And take your fucking promise ring.” I struggled to get it off my finger, almost dislocating my finger in the process. As I hurled the ring in his direction, it hit him right in the face.
Good, he deserved it.
More tears flooded my eyes as I turned on my heels and ran, desperate never to see him again.
That was the last time I saw him—before returning this year. After that, my life took a very different turn. I dropped out of the college that I was going to attend across the river from Luke’s college. Instead, I got accepted to a community college in California. My mom wasn’t too happy about me being so far away from home, but she knew I needed to get away from Port-Cartier if I wanted to keep any last shreds of my sanity. She helped me pack up my car and drive to California, and I never looked back.
Until now.
Luke claimed he was different now, and I wanted to believe him. But ten years ago, he broke my heart out of the blue. How could I be sure it wouldn’t happen again?