Chapter 26 Nyah
NYAH
Acouple of mornings later, I popped the medication into my mouth and chugged the water.
Having to hit the pause button with Caleb had pushed my feelings for him to the back of my mind—or rather, I tried to push them there.
I needed to get over the weird, hollow feeling sitting in the pit of my stomach, and I needed to get over it fast. I’d slept poorly that night, tossing and turning, but I woke up knowing I’d done the right thing, even if it hurt.
Nothing had even started with Caleb, and yet I felt sick to my stomach, like I was standing on the edge of something I didn’t know how to stop. He’d had an unusual effect on me from the beginning. Not even Harper had ever had that kind of effect on me.
Replaying his overheard conversation with Lucas, I kept hearing the equivocation in his voice, the uncertainty that hung there. He wasn’t the woman-using cad I’d once imagined him to be, and that complicated everything.
I knew his feelings for me only ran in one direction—friendship. Perhaps he was incapable of deeper love, and perhaps he hadn’t acted on his attraction out of respect for Lucas and for me. I could respect that, even if it stung, and I needed to make sure Lucas would do so as well.
“I need to talk to you about something important,” I said to him while we were having breakfast, forcing my tone to stay light.
“What is it, Mama?”
“It’s about Caleb.”
“Is everything all right?”
I nodded. “I know you’re getting close to him, sweetheart, but I want you to understand that Caleb and I are just very good friends.” The words tasted foreign, like I was convincing myself as much as I was convincing him.
“You don’t like him, Mama?”
“I do like him, baby,” I said softly, “but again, as a friend. We are good friends like Aunty Elle and Aunty Donna.”
“Those are girls, Mama. Don’t you want a boyfriend… like how it was with Harper?”
“You remember, huh?” I asked, surprised by the way my throat caught.
Lucas nodded.
“Baby, all I need is you and no one else. As long as I have you, everyone else takes second place.” I meant it with every part of me, even as another part quietly mourned what could never be.
“You love me that much?”
“More than you know, sweetheart.”
“I do like Caleb, though, Mama. Can he still hang out with us?”
The attraction between Caleb and me was real—devastatingly real—and pretending otherwise didn’t make it disappear.
Still, the foundation of our friendship had been laid and sealed, and I knew it was better that way.
With Jeremy looming in the background, safety and precaution had to come first, for my son and for me.
“Yes, he can, baby. So no more matchmaking, okay?”
“Okay, Mama.”
And just like that, life moved on for Lucas and me—his effortlessly, mine with an ache I carried alone now that I knew the truth.
Caleb was invited by Lucas for dinner a couple of days later, and soon it became natural again, as if nothing had ever shifted. I wondered if we would ever revisit the conversation of that night, as I’d come to think of it.
It never happened.
Making plans with Elle and Donna, with Caleb joining us, helped in more ways than one, and I was thankful for the distraction.
Another thing that helped was keeping myself busy training with Tyrone.
It countered Caleb’s uncertainty with the heat of my own feelings every time he came over, reminding me of everything I was trying not to feel.
November 19.
It was the day of Harper’s wedding.
By 4 p.m., Lucas had finished posing for pictures, and Caleb arrived to pick us up. I’d already done my hair and makeup, and slipping into a royal blue evening gown, I walked out of my bedroom and presented myself for inspection, bracing myself without knowing why.
Caleb and Lucas both gawked, unable to say a thing.
Do I have lipstick on my cheek? “I look hideous,” I said, my self-confidence plunging to the same depths as the silence in the room.
“Mama, you look pretty,” Lucas said, walking up to me. “Didn’t I tell you that my choice was the best?”
I bent down and kissed him on the top of his head. “That’s why you’re my favourite man, Lucas.”
Caleb fumbled for words. “You… you… um… yeah…”
He looked handsome in his three-piece tux, distractingly so, and my dress matched the colour of his pocket square and tie.
Did he know this was the colour I was wearing? “Well, I hope the end of that sentence is better than the beginning.”
“Absolutely beautiful,” he finally managed to finish, sending a warm glow to my cheeks I couldn’t quite hide.
The drive from Vancouver to Bodega took about half an hour, and the scenery along the way was breathtaking.
Lucas was introduced to Taylor and immediately took a liking to him. We arrived at the church in plenty of time, my nerves settling into something quieter and heavier.
I walked toward Harper, who was standing at the entrance in a grey tuxedo.
His mother, Christine, stood beside him, looking radiant in a taupe pantsuit.
We greeted each other, and I introduced Caleb to Christine, who shook his hand and gave Lucas a quick kiss before being called away on a last-minute errand.
Caleb took Lucas inside so I could have a few minutes alone with Harper.
“You look handsome,” I said, and meant it without pain for the first time.
He looked down at me, and a familiar emotion flashed in his eyes. “You look gorgeous, Nyah.”
I cast my eyes away and then back at him. “I wish you all the love and happiness in the world with your marriage to Daria. God bless you both.”
He held my hands.
I felt them quiver. I stroked them and kissed him on the cheek. “Breathe and enjoy. This is your day as much as hers. Remember every single minute.”
His mother joined us then and said it was time.
I walked into the church and sat down beside Caleb. He took my hand and opened it. “I wanted to give you something… something you forgot in the car. It was broken, and it took me a while to fix it, but I managed to find a store that could do it.” He dropped the bracelet into my palm.
I covered my open mouth. The bracelet shone in my hand, and the emotion connected to it washed over me in a wave I wasn’t prepared for. I stared at it while the bridal march played on the piano. Everyone stood up, and then I saw her.
Daria looked stunning in her lace and chiffon wedding dress. Her parents walked proudly down the aisle beside her.
As they all turned to look ahead, I quickly glanced at Harper, and our eyes locked for a moment before he looked toward Daria.
I knew then, in that very moment, that Harper no longer had a hold over me.
I felt liberated, lighter than I had in years.
I put the bracelet into my clutch as happiness streamed through my entire body.
Looking at Caleb, I said, “Thanks for coming here with Lucas and me today.”
He smiled and whispered in my ear, “I’d do anything for Lucas,” and winked at me.
I smiled coyly, my heart twisting softly. Internally, I was grateful to him more than he would ever know.
The ceremony ended after half an hour, and Harper and Daria were officially declared husband and wife. As they walked down the aisle, everyone threw confetti and congratulated them before rejoining them at the reception in the hotel.
Later that night, Harper asked me to dance while Daria dragged Caleb to the dance floor. “He’s a good man, Nyah, and he loves you,” Harper said with a smile. “I can tell from the way he looks at you.”
I smiled as I watched Caleb dance. If he only knew the truth.
“Don’t be scared to let him completely in.”
I was taken aback for a second. “I’m not,” I stuttered. “I mean, I won’t.”
“Nyah, getting over you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
It took a long time.” He let out a quiet breath, watching our feet move slowly across the floor.
“The distance… and my career… they drove a wedge between us. Eventually, it ended what we had.” And the other woman, but that wasn’t something he needed to hear now…
or ever. “But believe me when I say this,” he continued softly, firming his hold on me just slightly as we slowed, almost coming to a stop in the middle of the dance floor.
“You’ve done more for me than I could ever properly thank you for.
You helped me reconnect with my mother when I didn’t even realize how much I needed it.
” His voice softened further. “You and Lucas will always have a special place in my heart. And if you ever need me—anytime, for anything—I’ll be there. ”
I knew he meant every word. The song came to an end, and I looked back up at him, kissed him on the cheek, and smiled. “Thank you. That means a lot.” I put my arm in his and walked toward Caleb and Daria.
Harper shook Caleb’s hand. “You’re a lucky man.”
“And so are you,” Caleb said, looking at Daria and then back at him.
While Caleb checked on Lucas, Christine came and sat down beside me.
She took my hands in hers and whispered, “I was hoping it would have been you up there with Harper.” She paused and looked at me again.
“He told me you ended things. You know, he would have left everything and come back from New York if you told him you loved him. You didn’t want to shatter his dreams, so you let him go. Isn’t that right?”
I looked at her, squeezed her hands, and said, “He deserves all the happiness in the world, Christine. He truly does.”
I could never tell her the truth—especially not when the rift between her and Harper had been caused by her own infidelity toward his father.
The irony that Harper had done the very same thing to me would have been unbearable to lay at her feet.
Not today. Not on the happiest day of her life, and her son’s.
Some truths weren’t meant to be spoken. Not when silence was kinder.
Harper and Daria left to catch their flight at the end of the night.