Chapter 38 Nyah
NYAH
With Jeremy’s shadow looming over me, I tried to control what little I still could. One of those choices was not telling Caleb about him.
At times, my thoughts had spiralled into desperate directions.
I had considered breaking up with Caleb until I dealt with Jeremy.
I had imagined disappearing with Lucas—vanishing the way I had once planned.
Once, briefly and terrifyingly, I had even thought about finding Jeremy myself… and ending it.
I had taken every step I could to deal with my past if it came looking for me. Jeremy wouldn’t do anything in public. He wasn’t that stupid.
So instead of dragging Jeremy’s shadow into Caleb’s life, I told him about the one problem he already knew existed—his mother.
I had wanted to believe him when he had said time would smooth things over. But deep down, I knew better. His mother had made her intentions unmistakably clear the day she’d walked into his apartment and found me there after the hospital incident.
Caleb had been in the shower. Lucas was at school. I’d been on the floor with the dogs when Eleanor entered like she owned the space.
“Oh,” she said, lifting an eyebrow. “So it has come to this. You’ve already weaselled your way into his house.”
My spine stiffened, but I forced myself to stay calm. “Look,” I said carefully, “I don’t know what it is about me that you don’t like, but I’m quite certain I haven’t done anything to deserve this.”
She scoffed. “Women like you are a dime a dozen—waiting to leech off anyone you can. You have my husband wrapped around your finger, and now you’re after my son. Using your child as an excuse to latch onto mine.”
Heat rushed through me. “You’re wrong about me,” I said, my voice trembling despite my effort. “I don’t want his money—”
“That’s what they all say,” she cut in coolly. “Just remember this: I decide who gets to be with my son. He listens to me. He always has. And he always will.” Her mouth curved into something cruel. “You will never fit in with us. Don’t even try.”
I knew then that acceptance from her wasn’t going to be difficult—it felt impossible.
The morning of Caleb’s birthday, when he had hugged me and told me he loved me, the words burned on my tongue. What was wrong with me? I had never felt anything like this before—the intensity, the passion, the way he made me feel seen all at once.
When he called my son our son on his birthday, the word our lingered long after he said it. And I realized how much I wanted it to be true.
Maybe that was why I was afraid. Because it was so different, so real, that I was terrified saying it would somehow ruin everything. But how could it spoil anything if I told him I loved him?
Still, I had hesitated.
Eleanor’s disapproval at Caleb’s birthday party was impossible to miss, and her cruel remark to Caroline had made it clear she was hoping I’d disappear.
“It’s not what you think, Caroline. She’ll be gone before you know it.
” Caroline had tried to reassure me, but her hesitation—and the tremor in her voice—made me question her sincerity.
Randall’s quiet support had only intensified the truth I’d been holding back.
I loved Caleb, and I would tell him soon—very soon—while the words were still mine to give, before the world found a way to take that choice from me.
A week had passed, and I hadn’t seen Caleb. We’d planned the weekend together, but Friday arrived without him. I dropped Lucas off at Elle’s for a sleepover, kissed his hair, and drove home alone.
When I woke early Saturday morning, I was in love.
The feeling clung to me like warmth after a good dream. I hummed as I made breakfast.
The dream replayed itself in fragments—me in a wedding dress, light and ivory, flower balls suspended like constellations, candles flickering beneath trees strung with golden lights. Chairs arranged in perfect rows. An aisle waiting.
Caleb at the end of it.
“I Belong to You” by Jacob Lee played softly as I walked toward him, the future unfolding like a promise, frame by frame.
In the dream, I didn’t hesitate.
I didn’t doubt.
I said the words easily.
I love you.
They echoed in my chest even after I woke, tender and certain.
At 10 a.m., exactly as planned, I drove to his penthouse. Martina and Taylor weren’t there when I entered, but it didn’t register as strange. Nothing could touch my mood. I ran up the stairs, my smile unstoppable.
“Caleb!” I called. “I want to say something to you—something important. Something I’ve wanted to say for a while!”
I was practically glowing. I love you. I love you. I love you.
The words looped in my head, stitched together with flashes of the dream.
I reached his bedroom door and pushed it open.
And everything shattered.
I froze.
My breath left me in a single, violent rush. My vision narrowed, and my pulse roared in my ears.
Caleb was holding Caroline.
His hands were on her arms.
She was naked—in his bed.
Time stopped. The world went silent, then unbearably loud.
It felt as though the floor had vanished beneath me, as if I were falling straight into an endless dark with nothing to grasp, nothing to save me.
And suddenly I was transported back in another hallway, years ago—standing outside Harper’s door.
The same sickness crawled up my spine now.
Caleb sprang back the instant he saw me. “This is not what you think,” he said, the words tumbling out too fast, already scrambling to explain.
I couldn’t hear him.
Caroline slid out of his bed, unhurried, pulling on his shirt.
“Nothing happened!” Caleb grabbed my shoulders, desperate, while my eyes stared straight through him. “You have to believe me. I don’t know how she got in. I don’t know when she got into my bed. I swear to you—nothing happened.”
“Why deny it, Caleb?” Caroline said smoothly, her voice almost amused as she looked directly at me. “Just tell her what happened last night. We make more sense than you and her. I mean… look at her. She’s not stupid. Just be honest.”
Bitch. I had been so wrong about her. I’d thought she was nice. Thought she stood apart from Eleanor, aligned against her cruelty. The expression I’d noticed at Caleb’s party hadn’t been jealousy—it was resentment. Spite sharpened into intent.
“SHUT UP!” Caleb turned to her, fury breaking through his panic. “Just shut up! You’re lying. Nothing happened.” He grabbed her shoulders, shaking her. “Tell her the truth. Tell her nothing happened. TELL HER!”
I turned away.
Nothing made sense anymore. My chest ached like something vital had been torn out of me. I stumbled down the stairs, then ran, slamming the elevator button again and again, as if speed could erase what I’d seen.
Behind me, Caleb shouted my name.
The elevator doors opened.
I jumped inside.
I didn’t stop running until I reached my car and drove, barely aware of where I was going, only that I needed distance—space—air.
My phone rang.
Again.
And again.
I didn’t answer.
I ended up in a small mall parking lot and just sat there, hands locked around the steering wheel, shaking so badly I could barely breathe.
Devastation came first. Then disappointment. Then shame. Then confusion—each emotion colliding, folding into the next.
I turned off the engine and stared straight ahead, my thoughts spiralling. How could he? I thought he loved me. He said he would never hurt me. Is that why I hadn’t seen him all week? Was he seeing Caroline? How long had it been going on?
I needed answers.
I called Taylor.
He didn’t pick up, which felt wrong.
When he finally called back, his voice was measured and careful. “Hi, Ms. Nyah. Sorry, I missed your call. Is everything okay?”
“Taylor,” I whispered. “Please. I need the truth.”
“I’m sorry,” he said at last. “I’m not allowed to discuss anything regarding his personal life. I work for him. That information is confidential.”
“Please, I just need to know.”
Another pause.
“I think you already know the answer—if you saw it with your own eyes. I’m sorry.”
The line went dead.
His words lingered. If you saw it, not if it happened.
My phone immediately lit up again.
Caleb.
Taylor hadn’t wanted to hurt me. But he hadn’t needed to say more. He had confirmed everything.
Alone in that parking lot, I cried the way people cry only when something irreparable has happened—without restraint, without dignity, without hope.
Today had been meant to be beautiful. I was going to tell Caleb I loved him with everything I had. It was supposed to be the best day of my life. Instead, the image of him and Caroline in bed together burned itself into my vision, inescapable.
Elle called.
I didn’t answer.
Time dragged on. The trees swayed in the wind, indifferent, offering no comfort—only proof that the world kept moving while I stayed shattered.
Thirty missed calls from Caleb. Ten from Elle.
Eventually, I called Elle back and told her I’d be there in half an hour. I wiped my face, powdered over the damage, and drove to her house, sitting in the driveway until my breathing steadied enough to walk inside.
I hugged Lucas tightly. Kissed his cheek. And in that moment, I knew one thing with absolute certainty—he was the only man who would never hurt me. The only one whose love did not come with conditions.
I told them Caleb was busy. I wasn’t ready to fracture friendships. Not yet.
On the drive home, my thoughts circled. Infidelity was something I could not and would not accept. If I’d only heard about it, I might have doubted it. Questioned it. But I had seen it. And Taylor’s careful words had sealed the truth.
By evening, Caleb’s calls stopped.
When I arrived at my apartment, he was there.
He looked pale. Worn down. Like someone who hadn’t slept. Like someone who was waiting to be sentenced.
Lucas ran to him instantly, wrapping his arms around him like nothing had changed, like the world hadn’t split in two.
Inside, I sent Lucas to brush his teeth.
When his bedroom door closed, I finally looked at Caleb. “Before you say anything,” I said calmly, surprising even myself, “I want to say something.”
He nodded.
“I thought you were the one person in this world who would never hurt me,” I said softly. “I was wrong.” My gaze dropped. “I don’t want to know when it started, or why, or how long it’s been going on with Caroline.”
He opened his mouth.
I raised my hand. “I haven’t told anyone. And I won’t—except to say that we’re no longer together. You can see Lucas whenever you want. But you and I—we’re done.”
“I don’t even know how she got into my apartment—”
Lucas appeared in the hallway.
Caleb stopped himself. After a moment, he asked, “Can I put him to bed?”
Fighting back tears, I nodded.
Caleb tucked Lucas into bed while I stood in the doorway.
“Hey, buddy,” he said softly. “I might not be around for a little while. If you need anything at all, just call me, okay?”
Lucas looked at him, confused. “Why? Where are you going?”
The innocent question seemed to break something inside Caleb.
“I’m just going to be busy with work, that’s all,” he said gently. “But I’ll always be there if you need me. Anytime.” He paused before adding quietly, “Just take care of your mom, alright?”
Lucas nodded.
Caleb kissed him good night.
He closed the door and walked toward the living room… toward me. He tried once more. “Please. Just listen.”
“There’s nothing left to say.”
He hesitated, searching my face—like someone looking for a door that no longer existed.
Then he left.
I collapsed onto the bathroom floor, sobbing silently so Lucas wouldn’t hear. I had never cried like this—not even when Harper had shattered me. This pain was deeper because it carried disbelief with it. Because I had trusted Caleb. Loved him. Believed in him.
And he had broken that.
I told myself I had to move on. Quickly.
I had let myself become too dependent. That was my mistake.
The tears came again, quiet and endless, as I sat on the cold tile.
At least there was one thing he could never take from me.
I had never told him I loved him.