Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
CHELSEY
“Baby,” Matt choked out, his expression crumpling.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do. When he caught us together, I panicked.
I know you’re worried about your job, and I thought if I said it was just a random hookup, then you might not be in such a bad situation.
I was trying to protect you. Did I get it wrong? ”
“Oh.” I squirmed, my face heating unpleasantly. It was a good thing I’d taken a moment to ask rather than continuing to spiral.
I damn well knew that Matt didn’t want us to be secret. He’d gone along with my request to wait until the end of the season before going public, and I’d seen the toll it had taken on him to continue pretending we were nothing more than colleagues.
“Thank you,” I added, my thoughts whirling. “I think he could probably tell there was more to it, but it was sweet of you to try.”
“No problem.” The panic leached out of him, but when he smiled, it didn’t reach his eyes. “You’re not angry?”
“How can I be when I was the one to drag you around here? That wouldn’t be fair.”
He relaxed a little more and tugged his hand through his hair. “I can’t lose you.”
“You won’t.”
“I didn’t want to lie, but it seemed like the best option. I know you don’t want anyone to find out yet.”
My stomach dropped to my shoes as an awful realization settled upon me. Years ago, he’d made me feel like he was ashamed to be with me, but now I was treating him like he was the dirty little secret. Something I wanted to keep quiet because it might look bad to others if I were with him.
There was a thickness in the back of my throat, and I pressed my fingertips to my lips as the truth of the situation sank in.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
He frowned. “For what?”
“For asking you to hide our relationship. For making you pretend there’s nothing going on between us.”
His features softened, and this time, his smile was real. “I understand. Your job means a lot to you, just like mine does to me. I get why you want to keep boundaries in place until after your contract is over.”
Affection for him welled inside me. Even after all I’d made him do to prove himself, he still defended me and showed he understood me even though conceding to my wants had hurt him.
My muscles tightened and I raised my chin. “But you mean a lot to me too.” I inhaled long and slow. “I’m going to tell Stella that we’re dating.”
He swayed slightly. “You don’t have to do that. Just tell her it was a fluke kiss. The season will be over soon. We can wait until then.”
I moved closer to him, more determined than ever. “Thank you for being willing to do that for me, but it isn’t necessary.” I was tempted to take his hand, but if I did that, then I’d melt against his chest, and we definitely wouldn’t have the serious conversation that needed to happen.
“Your career…” He trailed off, gesturing helplessly as if I ought to understand exactly what he was protesting.
I smiled. “I’m not ashamed of our relationship, and if we plan to be together long-term, then it’s bound to come out that I worked with your team. Regardless of how we handle the timing, people will draw conclusions and assume we were together while I was employed by the Chaos.”
He let out a ragged breath. “But it’s different if they assume it versus having confirmation.”
“But we know the truth, and once I’ve worked in other places and proved that I’m not interested in anyone but you, everyone else will see it too.
” Now that I’d had the idea, I was on a roll.
Sure, things might be a bit rocky at first, but if we intended to have long and happy lives together, then no one could criticize us for pursuing love.
Anyway, even if I were to have a more difficult time until he retired and disappeared from the public eye, that would only be a few years.
“I’m worried about Stella thinking I sleep around or use my sexuality to get my way,” I admitted since it would be pointless to deny it. He already knew about my concerns. “We’ll just have to show people how things really are by staying together for so long we become old news.”
Matt’s smile lit his whole face, and I couldn’t help but feel like I’d made his year. Hell, maybe even his decade. There was a pang of remorse in my gut at making him wait for so long, but perhaps it was because he’d gone along with that so willingly that I knew I could trust him now.
“Nothing would make me happier than being with you forever.” He took my hands and the warmth of his palms mirrored the warmth inside me. “But I can tell that you still have some insecurities to work through based on your reaction tonight. Are you sure about this?”
“Yes.” I stepped closer to him, drawn by invisible strings connecting us together. “You’re right that I’m not as secure as I could be when it comes to our relationship, but that will come with time. If it doesn’t, then I’ll see a therapist if I have to. It’s worth it to be with you.”
The front of my body brushed his and he released my hands and rested his on my lower back.
“I’ll support you however you need,” he murmured, his gaze tracing my features like he wanted to memorize them. “I love you, Chelsey. I always have.”
My heart rocketed around in my chest, beating against my ribcage, but I smiled tremulously up at him, refusing to allow fear to get the better of me once again.
“My feelings for you terrify me,” I confessed, my chin wobbling as I struggled to get the words out.
“That’s why I’ve been keeping you at a distance.
But I love you too, and I want our relationship to work. I want a future with you.”
Matt’s grin stretched from ear to ear and his eyes crinkled at the corners, shining with affection and the love I now realized had never left. Perhaps I hadn’t been willing to name the emotion when I saw it from him before, but now I wouldn’t shy away.
He loved me, and I loved him too.
Everything else was secondary.
He dipped his head and his lips brushed mine.
Soft. Sweet. He kissed me again and I went onto my toes and returned the kiss more firmly, darting my tongue out to taste his lips.
He groaned and his hold on me tightened.
His tongue delved into my mouth and caressed mine.
I shivered and allowed him to deepen the kiss.
It dragged on and on until my head was spinning and I had to pull back to breathe.
He gazed down at me heatedly. “Maybe we should just go back to my place.”
“No.” I slid my hand into one of his. “We’re going to go inside and let everyone know we’re together. But first, I’ll send Stella an email.”
With my free hand, I withdrew my phone from my pocket and awkwardly opened my email and typed a brief message requesting a meeting with Stella as soon as possible.
I sent the message, closed the app, and slid the phone back into my pocket.
Then I walked side by side—and hand in hand—with my boyfriend, around the corner of the building and into Rinkside.
Nerves wove together in my gut, tangling and knitting and pulling tighter as we drew near the table down the center of the bar, where the team had congregated. I didn’t think I was making a mistake, but it was still scary to out ourselves to everyone here when we’d gotten used to hiding.
Jesse glanced up from the girl who’d stolen his attention and grinned widely. “It’s about time!”
As one, all faces turned to us. I scanned through them but didn’t see Coach Dunn among their number. Perhaps he’d already come and gone while we were outside discussing the status of our relationship.
Maribel whistled and bounced over to offer me a high five. “You two look good together.”
One by one, the other team members offered us their congratulations. Some seemed surprised while others—like Amir and Nick—took it in stride.
Matt slung his arm around me. “All good?” he asked, kissing the side of my head.
I grinned at him. “Pretty perfect, actually.”
We went up to the bar together and ordered drinks.
The wait staff had already started bringing bar snacks to the tables, which meant an order must have been put in ahead of time.
When we returned to the table, the men chowed down while the women waited farther back.
Understandably, the players were hungry after the game and needed to fill the holes in their guts.
Regina challenged me to a game of pool, and I took her up on it, inviting Jane to be my partner while Regina teamed up with Maribel.
“Where did your kids go?” I asked Maribel as Regina set up the balls on the table and Jane chalked a pair of cues.
“Mom took them home,” she replied. “She does that sometimes after games, so Brian and I can spend some time out together.”
“That’s nice of her.”
She rolled her eyes. “She’ll probably return them tomorrow, packed full of sugar and tired after watching movies too late.”
I grinned. “That’s grandma’s prerogative right there.”
I broke the balls and managed to sink a striped one. Regina sank three before her turn was over.
I turned to Jane. “Have we been hustled?”
She tilted her head, her curtain of brown hair sliding around her shoulders like silk. “Everyone knows that there’s no winning against Regina.”
“That doesn’t mean it’s not fun to play,” Maribel added with a wink. “Especially if you’re on her side.”
“I see.”
The game didn’t last long. Regina wiped the floor with Jane and me, and Maribel wasn’t terrible either. Nevertheless, by the time we finished, the men were less like a horde of starving beasts, so I managed to snag myself a small bowl of onion rings.
I enjoyed the crisp, savory taste, and when Matt sidled up to me again and took my hand in his, I swallowed and kissed his cheek. “Feeling better?”
He nodded. “I think I’m going to call Coach Dunn later and tell him the truth if that’s all right with you?”
“Of course. I hope you won’t get in trouble for lying.”
He sighed. “I probably will, but you’re worth it.”