Epilogue
Oakley
ONE YEAR LATER
Selling my story was never part of my plan. In fact, it still made me feel a bit sick, but I’d done it for a good reason. A very good reason.
During therapy right here in England, I found out how many abused and deprived children there were in areas surrounding our town. Children who had nowhere to go, nothing to do, and no one to talk to. They were suffering in silence, not having a safe place to go.
And, God, did I understand how that felt.
So, when Marcus also told me the gym was closing and asked if I wanted to do something together, I knew what I had to do.
I stepped out of the shower after the interview, washing off the last of the shame away. I’d condemned people for selling stories before, yet here I was doing the same thing.
The centre was coming along. We’d secured funding from the council and bank loans to open it up, but it wasn’t going to be enough, and I didn’t want Cole or my mum to put up any of their money.
This was something I wanted to do alone… or with my business partner. A brand-new gym that we’d renovated ourselves. We were turning a derelict building into hope for so many young people.
There was still white paint under my nails from our late-night decorating session.
Marcus and I would teach gymnastics as well as running a youth club. We had a wonderful Cognitive Behaviour Therapist, specialising in Child Play Therapy, volunteering one afternoon a week in case anyone wanted to talk.
Our plan was to hire someone eventually, but we had to start small. The building was bigger, and we had the scope to take on a lot of new gymnasts. We could finally accept almost everyone on the long waiting list.
One day we would earn enough to run the centre in a way that could help any child in need.
I would make it happen.
Wrapping a towel around me, I pressed my hand to my queasy stomach and frowned. That was happening a lot lately.
Wait a minute…
The last few weeks had been insane. Like, working twelve-hour days to get the centre ready, insane. I hadn’t thought about my period.
Shit.
How many days late was I?
When was my last period, even?
I dropped my towel and stared at myself in the mirror. My eyes sliding down to my stomach. There was nothing there, no bump or any sign that Cole and I hadn’t been careful—though there were a few occasions when we’d gotten a little carried away.
When was the last time?
One… no, two months ago. We’d just had our new kitchen fitted after making do and fixing the old, broken one. We’d had a party, friends, and family over to celebrate our latest completed room.
I was tipsy—Cole far worse. He’d carried me to bed and…
No condom.
“Oakley, you okay in there?” Cole asked through the bathroom door.
Jolting, I picked the towel back up and covered my stomach. Stupid move considering the door was locked, and if I was pregnant, it was too soon to tell.
“Yeah, erm, be out in a minute.”
“Okay, babe.”
I got dressed in pyjamas and used my phone to book a private ultrasound, snagging an appointment for the next afternoon.
Cole would still be at work so I wouldn’t have to lie to him. But the website said the early dating scan would take twenty minutes. I’d have to get home fast to beat him.
I wanted to be sure before I told him. The next morning, I’d do a pregnancy test and cancel the appointment if it was negative.
But, yeah, it’d been two months since I’d had a period.
I was so stupid.
Why wasn’t I sicker? The odd bought of nausea was all I’d had, which I put down to being busy and forgetting to eat.
What the hell was that doing to the baby?
Possible baby.
Cole was sitting on the end of the bed when I left the bathroom.
Arching a brow, he asked, “What’s going on?’
“Nothing, why? Well, besides being exhausted and needing about three solid weeks of sleep.”
He held his arms out, and I went straight to him, sitting on his lap. “What can I do?”
I pressed my forehead to his and closed my eyes. He was a miracle. It didn’t seem possible to love someone as much as I loved him. “You can hold me in bed. I need to fall asleep in your arms.”
I really needed that because I was a bit of a mess inside, my mind on my belly. He deserved to know, but I couldn’t mention it yet. He was going to be ecstatic, and I didn’t want to disappoint him if there was another reason for my missed periods.
They stopped for six months when I first moved to Australia.
Stress, the doctor had said.
I’d been stressed again, getting this centre open, selling my soul to the press so that I could afford to do it.
Cole picked me up the same way he did when we’d got the keys to this place, when he carried me across the threshold. He placed me in bed and pulled the cover over me. Then he slipped into bed beside me.
I was never safer than when I was in his arms.
Pressing his lips against my temple, he whispered, “You need to slow down.”
“I know.”
Looked like I didn’t have a choice now. If that ultrasound tomorrow showed that I was pregnant, I’d have to make some changes.
Right before I opened a freaking business…
Talk about bad timing.
But Cole and I would make it work.
I couldn’t help feeling a little zap of excitement along with the worry. A mini-Cole.
Mum and Jasper would help. She was here with Miles.
He decided that long-distance wasn’t going to work and moved here.
They don’t work together anymore, but they’re happy and come home to each other every evening.
Jasper… well, he lived close by, nearer the city, and I was absolutely certain that he was seeing Abby.
Not something that he’d admit to us yet, though.
He was scared because she’d cheated. But that was five years ago when they were still teens. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen there, but if she ever hurt him again, I was going to kill her.
“What’s the plan for tomorrow?” Cole asked.
My body was heavy, sinking into the mattress. My head, resting over his heart, felt dazed—dizzy, almost. I was floating, closer to sleep, but I didn’t want to just yet. Not when he was talking to me.
“Lots of plans for tomorrow.” I covered a yawn with the back of my hand.
“The electricians are coming at one. The mirrors are being installed in the ballet room at two thirty. There’s a huge delivery of football and rugby balls coming sometime in the morning, and I have to call some companies about vending machines and a cleaning service.
Oh, and we really need to get those liability insurance forms signed. ”
As much as I loved every room we had, the recreation rooms for socialising and the gyms were my favourite. Those were also the rooms that would, hopefully, make money.
Marcus had grand ideas to rent the outside space for outdoor sports, too. Anything that could bring in a revenue and keep us helping as many children as possible.
“You have a list, right?” Cole asked.
“I have about a thousand lists,” I said, yawning.
“Don’t stress over it. We’ll get it all done. I can come after work if you’re going to be there late?”
“No way. I’ll be home before you.” I bloody hoped. “And I was promised a date night. Cheese and crackers in front of the fire. I need that.”
“You’ve got it, baby. Now, sleep.”
He didn’t need to tell me twice. His steady heartbeat was a lullaby, and I quickly drifted off in his arms.
I couldn’t remember a single time when I’d been as nervous before.
And I’d been in some anxiety-inducing situations in my life.
This was totally different. This was a new life. This was huge and scary.
“All right, Oakley, if you’d raise your top, we’ll check on your baby.”
Baby. Because there was one. In my bag was a test that very blatantly told me so. Pregnant, it said in black and white.
I was having Cole’s baby.
The cold gel on my stomach made me wince.
“Sorry,” the sonographer said.
“It’s fine.”
She pressed into what felt like my bladder. A full bladder at that. If I peed, I was never coming back.
“There,” she said. “You see here? That little thing that looks like a bean.”
I gasped as I took in the tiny little life inside me. Something inside me snapped and spread through my entire body like a glowstick. Love. “That’s my baby.”
“That’s your baby. The fluttering here,” she said, pointing to the screen. “That’s a good, strong heartbeat.”
“I can’t believe that’s inside me.”
“Incredible, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” I whispered, staring at the monitor, not physically able to tear my eyes away.
Something else tore through me as I watched my baby’s heart beating. A protective instinct that took my breath away. I would burn the whole world down to protect that little life already.
I could very suddenly and very acutely feel my mum’s pain when she’d found out that I’d been abused.
“I’ll take some measurements and give you an approximate due date. You’ll get a more accurate one at the later scan, though. Baby is still very small,” she said, thankfully brining me back to reality.
I wanted to reach out and touch her… or him. But that would be ridiculous since the baby was inside me and not the monitor.
“Okay, so I put you at ten weeks and two days with a rough due date of March third.”
March third. It sounded like the most perfect date in the world.
“Would you like to take pictures?”
“Yes, please.”
Cole had to see this—our baby.
For the rest of the time, while she got images and checked the baby over, I stared at the monitor like an idiot. Or, hopefully, like an excited mum-to-be.
“I’ll clean the gel off and then print your pictures.”
“Thanks,” I muttered, my eyes drifting back to my baby’s heartbeat right before she turned the monitor off.
“Easy to lose time staring, isn’t it?” she said, wiping my stomach as the printer rattled beside us.
“It could become addictive.”
Laughing, she handed me three photos and sent me on my way. I didn’t want to leave but my time was up, and I had to get back to Cole. It was almost five-fifteen and he’d be home soon.
It was a race to get back, and that sent a thrill down my spine.
It was me who pulled into the driveway first, but he would be right behind me.
I let myself in and headed straight to the kitchen, brushing our booth on my way to the fridge.
Of course, that was in our home. Everyone thought we were crazy, but it was a big part of us.
It wasn’t the prettiest piece of furniture we had. It was still my favourite.
Plus, we could do things on it that we’d never been able to when it was in the café.
I grabbed Cole a beer from the fridge, and a water for me. No more wine until my baby was in my arms.
While I waited for him, I placed an order at our favourite Italian restaurant. Tonight called for authentic pizza and pasta.
I’d get some veggies on the pizza—give the baby something healthy.
My heart leapt when the door opened.
“Kitchen!” I called out, biting my lip to keep myself from squealing.
Cole had spoken about children before. He knew that I was scared. I knew that having a baby would bring up a whole heap of emotions I wouldn’t be ready for. But this was happening, and I’d figure out the rest later.
Right now, I wanted to enjoy this moment. I wanted to plan and fall head over heels for this tiny person.
“Beer already,” he said, planting a long kiss on my lips. “I missed you today.”
My breath caught in my throat. Every time I saw him, I felt the same excitement. “I missed you, too. I ordered dinner.”
“Another long day, or is there another reason that your eyes are electric?”
“I have a surprise for you.”
“You do?”
“Close your eyes and hold out your hand.”
Grinning, his eyes shut, and he held his palm up.
I carefully took the scan photos out of my bag and placed them gently on his hand.
“Can I open my eyes yet?”
Biting my lip, I muttered, “Mmhmm.”
His eyes flicked open, but he looked at me first. Then, slowly, his gaze dropped to the photos. My heart skipped a beat.
His jaw went slack. “Oakley, what’s this?”
“Well… that’s our baby.”
I bit my lip at his soft intake of breath. He was happy about this. He wanted this. I could see it in his face, he lit up. Everything he’d hoped for our future since we were just teenagers was wrapped up in that little square picture.
“Our baby. We have a baby?”
“I’m ten weeks and two days.”
“Wait…” He shook his head. “I can’t… Back up. When? How long have you known?”
“I realised last night and booked a private scan. I just got home.”
“Oh my God,” he muttered, his eyes finding our little one again. He frowned, tilting his head to the side. “Is this the right way up?”
Laughing, I nodded and stepped closer to him, feeling his thudding pulse in his neck under my lips. “We made a baby.”
“Fuck!” I jumped at his sudden outburst, but he wasn’t angry. It was like he’d suddenly realised the enormity of a baby. “Oakley. Fuck.”
“I know.”
I pulled back and watched his smile grow.
He kept hold of the photo while lifting me up, making me squeal.
“Fuck!”
I laughed, holding onto his shoulders. “Cole!”
Gently setting me back on my feet, he dropped his head to my stomach, his hot breath against my skin as he pressed a kiss just below my belly button.
Moaning softly, I ran my hands through his hair.
“You can still do stuff, right?” he asked.
I laughed again at the hope in his eyes. If he thought for one second that it was unsafe, he’d slap a chastity belt on both of us. But the hungry look in his eyes told me that it would be awful.
“I can still do stuff, yes. I can do lots of stuff.”
My head tilted back at the sensation buzzing through my veins as he kissed up my stomach, between my breasts, and up my neck.
“I love you so much,” he murmured against my skin.
My eyes drifted shut.
“I love you, too.”
“And I love our baby. I’m going to take care of you both, I promise.”
I captured his mouth, showing him how in love I was, how happy I was, and how excited I was for our forever.