Chapter 19 #3
I take another breath and lower my voice so no one else could possibly overhear me.
“Even after Davies told my Bond that he was going to start hacking limbs off, dissecting her like a fucking lab rat, she didn’t utter a word…
or even think my name where that sick fuck could find it.
There’s nothing you can say to change my mind.
Either call your asshole of a Bonded and his band of psychopathic war mongers to come haul me away now, or you can get out of my way. I’m done listening to your bullshit.”
I glance up to find my sister, Aurelia, and her mom, Rachel, heading toward us. Mom instantly shifts back into her immovable and cold persona, gesturing at them both to follow her before she shoots me a firm look.
“I don’t understand why you all struggle to read a clock. We’re late for dinner.”
Rachel doesn’t tell Mom to piss off or to stop acting like she’s superior to her.
She never does. Instead, she mumbles an apology and ducks her head as we follow like obedient children to the dining room.
My skin itches with frustration, but with the extra eyes on me now, I can’t just walk away like I want to.
Instead, I prepare myself for another family dinner shitshow.
Aurelia sits in her usual seat, the chairs set out for her Bonded empty and making her look like she’s been cast out to sea on her own.
She doesn’t look too upset about their absence, and I’m hoping those assholes don’t show up at all.
I sit across from her in my usual seat, struggling to keep my arrogant mask in place as one of the servers comes to unfold a napkin for my lap.
Mom starts muttering viciously about Father still not being here either, and then she makes a big show of sighing like she’s worried about that asshole’s health before she stalks off to fetch him.
With any luck, he’ll start an argument with her that’ll last long enough for me to eat something and bail.
Rachel looks as though she’s praying for the same thing. “I’ll let the Chef know we’re ready to eat. I’ll tell him your appetite has returned, Aurelia.”
My sister has been on a cocktail of antidepressants and mood stabilizers for years, since she first moved out with her Bonded Group.
It’s the reason they’re all living here now, back where her mom can keep an eye on her during the day.
Peter wants children, and my father wants the Bassinger name to continue on, and every Healer they’ve shoved at Aurelia has said the same thing: her body is under too much stress to carry a child.
It hasn’t stopped either of them from hurting her.
The moment her mom steps out of the dining room, Aurelia’s shoulders slump. It’s like she’s held herself together for her mom, played the dutiful daughter working hard to recuperate perfectly, but the weight of the act is too heavy to hold when I’m the only witness.
We were close as kids… before she Bonded.
Everything about Aurelia changed after that.
She’s emotional, withdrawn, constantly fatigued no matter how much she sleeps.
She also gets paranoid about certain things and falls into thought loops she can’t pull herself out of, the mania bad enough that she stops taking her medication and eating until she ends up back with her mom.
One of her obsessions is my Bond. Specifically, the fact that she’s a Central Bond who Father disapproved of and ran away from me. She doesn’t know who she is or that she’s been found. She has no clue what the Infinite Weapon tests are, but she’s latched on to her as a danger to us all.
Even now, I tell myself that Aurelia is just worried about her little brother and she’s scared my story is going to end up just like hers, but it won’t.
I won’t let the pain and suffering Oli has gone through be for nothing.
I won’t ever let our budding friendship turn into a tragic Bond…
not even if I have to kill every Resistance member with my own two hands.
I don’t want to ever speak about my perfect Bond with my broken sister, even if she weren’t a Resistance threat to her, but with the way she’s staring at me, it’s clear she’s going to hound me about her again.
I rub a hand over my eyes. “Please don’t start on me. I really can’t be talking about Bonds right now.”
Servers start to bring out plates of food, but our parents are still nowhere to be seen. I fill my plate before they have it all set out, determined to get the fuck out of this room, and Aurelia waits until we’re alone again before she finally speaks.
“I heard you talking to your mom, you know.”
Fuck.
My stomach drops
Aurelia only shakes her head at me. “You think I didn’t already know about her, Atlas? I’m not as stupid as Father tells everyone.”
My head spins so quickly that I feel like I’m going to vomit, but I haven’t managed to take a bite of anything yet and that alone saves me.
My voice is hoarse, but I can only think of one thing to say back to her. “I never thought you were stupid, Rey.”
She stares back at me for a minute, her eyes drilling holes into my skin despite how dull they are. “But you still won’t listen to my warnings, will you? Not all Bonds are good, Atlas. Some are hell on Earth, and it only gets worse once you’ve Bonded with them.”
She ducks her head as her voice breaks, and my own throat tightens as I watch her pull herself together to continue.
“My life is a complete mess and no one gives a shit! I mean, who would? Who would ever believe the indestructible woman—a Bassinger for fuck’s sake—is being abused by her own Bonded?
No one. Not a soul, and I’m stuck living this nightmare, day in and day out.
Losing my mind while they find doctors to prescribe me tranquilizers to stop me from feeling anything, because clearly the problem lies with me, not the grown men hurting me, and certainly not my father who handed his seventeen-year-old daughter over to them without a single concern. ”
We both know which of her Bonded is excluded from her scorn.
Jericho is a month younger than Aurelia, and they were both nineteen when he joined her Bonded Group. I’ve heard my father speak about it a lot, at first among his closest allies and cohorts within the Resistance, but soon it was to anyone who’d listen.
“The boy is an idiot. He would’ve given me anything I asked for the chance at a turn with the girl.”
If I could wipe that memory from my mind forever, I would. If I could erase my father altogether, I wouldn’t hesitate for a second.
Swallowing roughly, I push my plate away from myself. “So what are you going to do, Rey?”
The nickname slips out of me again even though I haven’t called her that in years.
Using it now could be written off as the survival instinct in me, but the hoarseness of my voice is so gut-wrenching there’s no denying it’s genuine.
She could hand me over to our father right now and that would be the end of me.
Hell, she could use me as a bargaining chip to gain some favor and claw her way out of the misery she’s trapped in.
She only stares across the table at me for a long minute, her eyes still a dull version of mine.
It’s as though all of the life has been squeezed out of her, leaving behind the shell of the sister I once knew.
I don’t know how Rachel can stand it, how my mother can look at her and not do something about it.
I might be her only biological child, but Bonded Groups should care for all of the children, not just those with genetic links.
Even as I think it, I want to laugh at my own naivety.
My father would mock anyone stupid enough to voice that opinion in his presence, but he’s also one of those assholes who think a woman shouldn’t be a Central Bond…
as if it’s some sort of option and I’ve failed the Bassinger name.
I fucking loathe the man.
Aurelia finally speaks, her voice barely more than a whisper. “Take your car and go, Atlas. Your mom will cover for you—we both know she will. If you’re determined to walk this path to hell, then just… get out of here before Father finds out.”
My hands curl into fists under the table.
I’m torn by the childhood memories of following her around like a little lost puppy, my big sister who was always a good sport about her brash and arrogant brother.
The way I’ve hated her Bonded Group. The way Peter hitting her had broken something in my brain, and then again when I realized the reason she’d covered it so well was because it wasn’t the first time.
He wasn’t the first man, either.
Father had beaten her along with both of his own Bonded.
Aurelia picks up her own cutlery as though dismissing me, the same way our parents always have, and my chest aches all over again. “Atlas? For what it’s worth, I hope I’m wrong and she’s worth it all… and I hope I never see you again. Don’t ever, ever come back.”