Chapter 23 #3
I think that’s all I’m going to get out of her, and I’m happy to leave it at that, but then more words tumble out of her. “Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. This pain is nothing compared to that.”
Pure, unadulterated truth… and I have no idea what to do with it as she falls asleep in my arms with her next breath.
I barely sleep.
The very idea of rest feels insulting while I have my Bond in my arms like this, finally, and when the frustration and blind rage that filled me thanks to the sobs that shook her tiny frame finally eases off, I can let myself soak in the feel of her splayed out on my chest. Nothing creepy or crossing any of her boundaries, I just appreciate my Bond without her being awake and scowling at me.
Her hand is still wrapped around my wrist. It’s almost like she was planning on shoving it away at first, but then her pain stopped and suddenly she was clutching at it like she was scared I’d move it away.
She’s wearing an old, men's shirt, the collar too wide and her shoulder peeking out of one side, and her bare legs are tangled with mine. I could write essays about the miles of perfection that are her legs, how badly I want them wrapped around me properly. She’s taller than most of the women in her class but still tiny when compared to her Bonds.
Her attitude makes me forget it sometimes, but asleep as she is, there’s a vulnerability about her.
She’s already everything I ever hoped for lying in my arms, but when she murmurs nonsense in her sleep and turns to bury her face in my neck, one of her legs hitching up onto my thigh as though she’s desperate to climb all over me, I’m almost evangelical, and the story I’m telling myself about how respectful and patient I’m being right now falls apart.
I want her climbing over me. I want her under me. I want her riding my face, sucking me deep down her throat with that smart mouth of hers, and grinding on every inch of my body. I want her in ways that don’t even make sense, but fuck it, I want it all with her.
The little mewling whine she lets out as I slip away from her is all I need to hear to be sure my gut is spot on.
My Bond craves me as much as I crave her—present tense. She wants me now just as much as she ever has, and no matter what it takes, I’m going to find out what made her run. Whatever threats she’s facing, I’m going to eliminate them and enjoy every second of it.
But first, I need to take care of her, and as much as I’d like to, I can’t spend the entire day holding her to keep her from feeling any pain.
There’s still that mountain of paperwork waiting for me, and Kieran is Transporting me for recon in a few short hours.
We’re no closer to finding the Magnifier, dozens of Gifted are still missing, our safety measures need to be tightened, and any holes in security are a risk to Oli, which is unacceptable.
This is also my chance to speak with her, and hopefully her guard is down enough that some information might slip through her barriers and I can find out if someone else is messing with our Bond Group.
It takes me half an hour to run down to the nearest drugstore, filling a bag full of candies and snacks that Ky usually keeps on hand, as well as the Midol she needs, before I race back to my Bond.
Unlocking her door, I get it secured behind me quietly only to turn and find her bed empty.
From the corner of my eye, I find my Bond not only awake but freshly showered and still getting dressed.
She has a shirt on, and underwear, but there are those perfectly long legs of hers on display for me, and I make no secret of my obsession with them.
When she starts to fidget, I hold the bag out to her like a peace offering. “I grabbed you the pills you need. I also grabbed a heat pack and some junk food. My sister lives on candy when she’s PMSing, so I guessed you’d want that too.”
My Bond just stands there blinking at me, a faint blush on her cheeks that is far too inviting right now. “Why would you do that?”
I set the bag down on her bed as she startles and gets back to pulling her clothes on.
With the blush on her cheeks deepening, she turns away from me, but that only gives me a view of her ass as she pulls on her jeans, a wickedly torturous sight I will go to my grave remembering as I imprint the image onto my soul.
Shit.
Stick to the plan, Shore.
“I’m going to ask you a question, and I want you to answer it honestly.”
Grimacing, she cuts me a look over her shoulder. “And why would I answer it for you?”
A scoff rolls out of me at her dry tone, so different from the usual bravado she throws around. “I helped you last night, didn’t I? It’s a simple question, nothing too intrusive.”
No matter my intention, my Bond seems to always assume the worst of me, and the reminder of my help last night is no different. I wasn’t trying to imply she owes me some compliance, but she clearly takes it that way as her eyes narrow at me.
After another beat, she shrugs slowly. “I’ll answer what I can. I can’t promise you any more than that.”
She swallows the pill dry, a testament to how much pain she’s still in, before she sits on her bed to pull her shoes on.
She’s quiet, moving slowly, and even though she’s clearly not happy about my insistence, she’s not fighting me on it either.
I almost regret my decision to question her, but there’s no helping it.
There’s also no point beating around the bush.
“Did you want to run away from us or were you forced to?”
Pausing for a second as if it’s not at all what she was expecting, she finally sighs and then gives me a wry smile.
“I’ll answer, but you won’t believe me anyway.
I had no other choice. I can’t say any more without risking you and the other Bonds.
Despite what you all think, everything I’ve done is to keep you safe. ”
Truth.
A truth I will fight tooth and nail to get to the bottom of because my worst nightmare is unravelling before my eyes, only to reveal a new layer of horror. Someone is threatening my Bond.
“Tell me who is threatening you.”
Her mouth tightening, she shakes her head at me. “I can’t tell you. I can’t tell anyone.”
“What if I promise not to tell the other Bonds, would you tell me then? We could keep it between us, and I’ll deal with the issue.”
Cackling derisively, she slips her bag over her shoulder. “Nox is your best friend, you sit through all of his bullshit at the stupid dinners. There’s no way you wouldn’t tell him. It doesn’t matter anyway. I can’t tell you.”
Of course Nox is going to ruin this chance to finally get some answers out of my Bond, because he’s had a hand in every step backward we’ve had from the moment we found her.
Oli makes a move toward the door, but I don’t want to lose this chance, my hands gripping her arms before I’ve even thought the move through.
Her breath squeaks out of her chest like she’s cornered prey, her heart thumping so wildly in her chest that I can see the frantic pulse of it in the hollow of her throat.
I wait until she’s about to break before I give her the credit card, slipping it into her pocket because I can’t help myself. “That’s yours. You’ll use it for anything you need from now on. Order in food, pills, a new fucking bed, I don’t care. Just use it.”
She swallows roughly, I’ve clearly caught her off-guard, and a scowl takes over her face as she fumbles over an answer. “Why would you do that? I don’t want to take anything from you. If you could just get North to let me find a job, I can take care of myself.”
Truth—except I hate it.
I want her to take everything from me, providing for my Bond is an honor and a duty that I intend to fulfill.
The only thing stopping me from losing my temper entirely is the thread of shame running through her words.
She’s not doubting me or my commitment to my Bond, but instead she feels unworthy.
With my teeth gnashing in frustration, it’s almost impossible to keep my tone level. “Tell me you will use it if you need it.”
She rolls her eyes at me in an attempt to piss me off that finally works. “Fine.”
Lie.
She pulls her arm out of my grasp, but I barely let her take a step toward the door before I’m grabbing a hold of her again, this time spinning her to pin her against it.
As every perfect inch of her body presses against mine again, I’m rewarded with another one of those perfect gasps.
It almost distracts me from my ire, but I won’t let her out of this room without being sure she’s taken care of.
“Say it and mean it. There’s nothing worse than a liar.”
Her throat works as she swallows before I’m hit with her breathy tone, which lights my blood on fire. “I’ll use it if I have to, but I still want a job of my own.”
The determination in her eyes lit them like a fire burning bright, a temptation unlike anything I’ve ever endured before. I can’t help but touch her a little more, her cheek soft underneath my fingertips.
Fuck.
I need to find a topic to stoke that fire higher so I can see it, but also so she’ll push me away, because the pout of her lips is too fucking tempting right now.
Dravens.
I should talk about one of those assholes, that always works to get her seething mad. It also makes me pretty pissed off these days but I have to do something, and fast.
“North will never risk losing you again. I don’t think he will ever let you find a job, but if you ask him directly, I’ll side with you.”
She doesn’t push me away. Instead, she takes a deep breath, her chest pushing against mine, and I’m assaulted with a hundred memories of her splayed out over me last night, the little moan she’d let out, and I’m going to go insane…
My phone buzzes, breaking the haze I was rapidly falling into.
Cursing, I finally push away from her. “Grab your shit, I’ll drive you down to the dining hall.”