Chapter 26 #3
Bassinger’s steadfast deference to his Central Bond is making a damning case for my brother and his actions that have caused all of this, but I’ll hear it from him. By myself, first, then with Gryphon later.
Nox is eying me warily, barely acknowledging that my Bond is even here, let alone the state she’s in. “What’s going on?”
Bassinger snarls at him, the heartbreak gone and only the unbridled rage left behind. “What’s happening is that you attempted to force a bond with Oli, and you think being a fucking Draven means you can get away with it. I’m going to torture you and then kill you.”
There’s absolutely no way.
Turning to Nox, my entire world snaps in half the instant I lay eyes on him.
His face is missing even the slightest indication of guilt, but there’s an accusatory sort of shame. I recognize it well, and my chest hollows out. I’m not sure my brother is capable of guilt at wrongdoing, certainly not of this nature, but that shame means he’s done something.
Inadequate in every way, the question I finally manage to form barely conveys the true depth of my apprehension. "Did you do it?”
My lips press together tightly so I don’t beg him to tell me Bassinger is wrong.
That something else happened. That he upset my Bond in some other way and this is all a horrifying mistake, that he would never do that to her, to anyone, but least of all to my Bond.
The Bond I waited for, searched desperately for, who I’ve already failed and wronged in countless ways… but not this way.
I need him to tell me he didn’t do this.
Nox sees it, too, sees that pleading desperation, and the smirk he gives me is all razor blades and acid, built to cut us both to ribbons and leave nothing but agony in its wake.
"She didn't say no. Not once. She came on my hand so no, brother, I didn't rape her."
Bile rushes up the back of my throat.
Consent isn’t a lack of no, he knows that better than anyone.
Neither is climaxing.
Again, he knows this.
From her response, my Bond might be the only one who doesn’t know this, and Bassinger steps in front of her to cover her from my brother and me entirely.
“You literally teach Gifted 101, we all know that you used her bond against her. You knew exactly what you were doing, and I’m not going to let you treat Oli like that. You’re not so fucking intimidating when you’re facing someone with a Gift, asshole.”
He’s loyal to my Bond, I’ll give Bassinger that, but he’s clearly recklessly overconfident in his so-called Indestructibility.
His Strength might be more dangerous than we assumed, but he’s never faced a Death Dealer before, and Nox enjoys nothing more than a challenge, especially one that is as self-destructive as this.
His Bond being hurt in the process? He’s going to make sure we all go down in ashes.
Nox’s bond wakes, his eyes voiding out as that vile smirk only grows wider. “You sure about that? C’mon then, try me.”
Oleander shuts down.
The moment Nox’s eyes shift, she checks out entirely.
Atlas’s taunt flashes back into my mind unbidden.
Oleander Fallows didn’t run from us, she ran from me…
from the monstrously-cursed Draven Death Dealer she was bound to.
She’s terrified of her own Bond, and that blank look on her face is one I recognize well.
Nox has worn it as well.
My bond wakes, pressing at the edges of my control until there’s no stopping its violence from seeping into my words. “If either of you throw a single attack at one another in my house in front of my Bond, I’ll be finishing this, and neither of you want that.”
Nox falters.
He’s never faltered before, but I’ve never been the one threatening him before, either, and never with the Death Touch and the rabid shadows lurking under my skin.
He might have more control of his, but mine are larger and have always been capable of far more carnage.
I’m not even certain they’d truly turn against him, but the look in his eyes says he’s not sure either, and he’s unwilling to find out.
For now.
I take the out while I can and focus on getting my Bond out of here before he changes his mind.
Without looking away from Nox, I snap, “Bassinger, you’re welcome to stay tonight with Oleander. We can discuss living arrangements tomorrow, but for right now, we all have places to be in the morning.”
He doesn’t argue, instead he turns to my Bond and offers her his hand which she takes without protest, the two of them walking away and leaving my brother and me behind.
Rafe and the others are long gone, the staff of the house fleeing to safer areas the moment Nox had arrived, but I don’t speak a word until Nox shifts on his feet as though he’s about to walk away.
“Don’t move; I’m getting Gryphon down here to read you.”
He’s shaking his head before I finish the sentence. “No—”
I cut his protest off with a snarl I’ve never uttered in his direction before, “I can’t in good conscience just let this go, Nox!”
“You can’t, Baba.”
Every muscle in my body turns to stone instantly.
The old pet name he’d given me as a child practically falls out of his lips, the croaking sound of it tearing at my soul until I’m left in shreds.
If I could kill Emmaline all over again, I’d do it, only this time I’d draw out her last moments until she felt every ounce of pain and suffering she’d subjected her son to, then again for good measure.
He hasn’t called me that in years.
Still, I turn away from him as I shake my head. “Nox, your pain isn’t an excuse to hurt her. No one deserves that. I know that your fears are tied to Bonds and being Bonded, but Oleander Fallows didn’t do anything like that to you—”
Cutting me off, he hisses back at me, desperation like I’ve never heard before dripping from every word. “If you bring Shore here, he’ll find out about the Draven curse. If he pries inside my mind and goes looking for the truth of what happened, he’ll see the monster within me, within us.”
Now my gut is churning for a different, equally horrifying reason. I turn back to him and he finally meets my eyes, a haunted look in his own.
“I didn’t touch her.”
His gaze drops away like he can’t bear for me to see it any longer, and I finally look him over properly. A faint sheen of sweat across his brow, his eyes flashing in the low light of the room as his panic takes over, the pallor of his skin as he’s all but panting to stop himself from vomiting.
Bile rushes up my own throat violently, choking me as I’m forced to face the horrifying truth.
Only minutes ago, I begged some greater power for there to be some misunderstanding, some confusion here that meant my brother hadn’t become the same monster that his abuser had been.
Now I know that he didn’t cross that line, but instead he’s endured that same loss of control, that same sexual abuse, only this time there’s no way to explain the true perpetrator without risking both our lives, and the lives of the rest of our Bond Group, including our Central Bond, who is also a victim in this mess.
This isn’t the absolution I was hoping for; it isn’t a ‘better’ trauma for my Bond to endure.
But there’s no such thing, is there? We’re all the losers in this fight, no matter which side we stand on, because how can I blame Oleander for running from us all when this is what happens to her in my care?
When there really are monsters hiding within our bodies, lying in wait until they can take what they want from her, whether she consents to their actions or not.
Nox finally lets out a breath, his eyes dull now.
It’s always been this way with his trauma, a sudden retreat into his own mind to keep himself distracted from reality.
He’s never processed anything that was done to him, only found ways to block out the memories, and as I watch him deploy the same tactics for this situation, I feel him slipping through my fingers again.
In a monotone voice, blanched of life, he dismisses me with one final declaration before he tucks himself back into his reading chair and buries himself in his book once more. “I didn’t want to do anything with that girl. I didn’t want any of it.”
I leave him behind with no idea of what to do now, of how to fix any of this, of how to even explain away the situation without putting his life at risk or diminishing what took place.
She didn’t panic until she saw his eyes shift.
The monster living inside him did this to them both.