Chapter 19 #3
Once the water is warm, Alexi pulls her under the stream of water with him. With care and attention, he washes her hair. It’s become routine—one she absolutely loves—and she relaxes back into his firm yet gentle grip.
“I want you to move your things into my space,” Alexi says.
“I’ve tried to give you time, but I hate that you keep sneaking back to your own bedroom at night.
” His voice is low and guarded, almost hesitant.
“I want you here, in my bed and in my life. If… If you really want your own space, that’s okay.
But I need you to know that that isn’t what I want. ”
Ulayna spins to face him. She stares up into his eyes as bubbles from the shampoo drip down her chin. “You’d give me the choice?”
Alexi’s throat bobs as he swallows. “Yes. Always.”
“Why? Why would you allow me to do something you don’t want?”
“Allow you?” Alexi shakes his head. “I will never allow you to do anything, because you don’t need my permission. You are your own person. You will always have the power to choose. I will never take that from you, no matter how much it goes against my instincts.”
He drops his forehead down to hers and takes a deep breath. “Ulayna…” His voice is raw with suppressed emotions. “I want to own you, body and soul. But I don’t ever want to control you. I want you to give yourself freely to me, and me to you.”
Her breath hitches in her throat, and her heart stutters.
She can feel the power of his desire rolling through him.
Not just physical desire—though the hard length of him pressed against her stomach makes that obvious—but a deeper, all-consuming desire.
As if he is yearning for her, as if his entire being struggles not to devour her soul.
Like he wants to possess her, consume her, own her.
It's terrifying, and it’s electric.
“Alexi,” she says, placing her palms on either side of his face and forcing him to look at her. “I’m yours. Every piece of me, even my withered heart, is yours. I love you.”
He freezes, a look of awe coming over his face.
She continues before he can say anything. “Love doesn’t even seem like a big enough word. What I feel for you… It's… It’s everything. You say the choice will always be mine, and I choose you. I chose to love you, all of you, for the rest of my life, and probably into the next.”
Unable to speak, Alexi lifts her into his arms.
She wraps her legs around his waist and guides his length to her entrance. With a quiet, shared moan, she sinks onto him.
As the warm water cascades down their entwined bodies, Alexi lifts her slowly, then lets her sink back down.
Staring into her unguarded eyes, he sees the truth of her words reflected back at him. Reverently, he makes love to her.
Earlier, by the pool, that had been fucking. And a claim. This… This is loving her. This is letting his heart and soul pour into her and accepting hers right back.
When Ulayna’s orgasm finally comes, it slides through her like a gentle, endless wave. Her eyes go wide, and she struggles to hold on. But he holds her tight, never looking away as he joins her in his release.
Afterward, they finish their shower. Both of them remain silent. The weight of shared emotions is heavy in the air around them.
Alexi towels her off, his motions tender and reverent, like she’s something precious. The sweetness of it, the joy of it, makes her want to cry.
“I love you, too, you know,” Alexi says, his words directed at her stomach as he kneels before her with the towel in his hands. “I’ve never said it to anyone before. I’m not very good at saying it. But I needed you to know.”
She tips his face up to hers. “I know,” she says simply. “I don’t need the words. I see it in your actions, and that will always mean more to me.”
Alexi nods, but then a frown forms on his face.
Gently, carefully, he places a kiss on her belly before looking back up at her. “We’ve never used protection, but I want you to know that you’re safe with me. I would never do anything to harm you. I’m clean, and I had a vasectomy years ago. But that means I can never give you children.”
Ulayna shakes her head. “Oh, Alexi.” The expression on his face is heartbreaking. “The Program… One of the things that they…” She stutters, not wanting the ugly memories to intrude on this moment, but needing to explain. “I can’t have children. They made sure of it. Even if I wanted to.”
Despite herself, a single tear slides down her face. Grieving the loss of a possible future, the loss of the right to choose that future, had she wanted it.
Alexi kisses the tear away and nods in understanding. “If you ever want to start a family, we’ll adopt.”
“You’re all the family I need,” she says, looking intently into his eyes.
“But I never want another young girl to go through what I did. I’ve never felt the desire to bring more children into this terrible world, but…
Would you help me rescue the ones that are already out there?
Help me take down those who would seek to harm them? ”
“Always,” Alexi says, sealing the vow with a kiss to her lips.