Chapter 17
Lila
“Thank you, Mom,” I told her as I sagged back into the couch.
I wasn’t sure about this new medicine regimen.
Because I had little to no energy.
And I couldn’t keep anything down.
“Of course.”
I looked over at Dad as he carried another box of my things from my bedroom.
I had driven to their house the day Dr. Harding put me on the new regimen.
And the moment my mom laid her eyes on me, gone was the smile, and in its place was one of worry.
“Mom?” I asked.
“What’s wrong, sun beam?” she asked as she made her way over to me.
“Hey, there, button, thought I hea.... what’s wrong?” Bax hurried over to where Mama stood and looked me up and down.
And seeing the worry on their faces, I couldn’t hold them in, again.
I dropped to my knees and let the tears fall.
One second after that, two pairs of strong arms wrapped themselves around me and held tightly.
After I had the tears somewhat under control, they helped me stand and walked by my side to the living room.
Once I sat on the couch in between them, I said, “Remember that day a few years ago when I told you I had the flu and it was contagious?”
My mom nodded, “Yeah. And I showed up with medicine and soup, and you wouldn’t let me in your apartment.”
I nodded, “It wasn’t the flu.”
Bax ran his hand up and down my back, “What was it, button?”
“I went into the doctor for my yearly check-up a couple of months early because I was experiencing swelling, nausea, vomiting, things that didn’t make sense.”
They both remained silent.
“They assured me it was a viral infection and put me on antibiotics. And things got better until about six months later.”
“I went to another doctor after I consulted ChatGPT.”
The thing everyone uses nowadays. Like relying on Google for all your answers.
“My blood work revealed that I was in the early stages of kidney failure. Apparently, they misdiagnosed me. The doctor told me that had it been caught earlier, then we might have had a better chance at slowing it down... which is why he put me on a new experimental drug. He said that it had a forty percent success rate at slowing the process down. Right now, I’m officially on the transplant list. As my symptoms worsen, I’ll move up the list.”
“So, you need a transplant?” My mom asked.
I nodded, “Yeah.”
“Where do I go to get tested?” she asked.
I smiled at her and started crying again.
Bax nodded, “I’ll go get tested too. Hell, the department will get tested too.”
“I love you, Dad,” I said as tears trailed down my cheeks.
He was still for a beat, then two, and then he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tightly into his chest.
“I’m so sorry it took me getting sick to finally give you the name you deserve,” I whispered in his ear.
He pulled his head slightly away from mine, “Known it in my heart since the first time I laid eyes on you, button. Know it now, too. Love you.”
My mom hesitantly asked, “What about Bronson, Cole, and Madalyn?”
That brought a fresh wave of tears into my eyes. Brokenly, I whispered, “Distance myself, I guess. After seeing how their mother treated them. I can’t be like her to them, I won’t be. But Bronson and I are over.”
They both gasped, and I shared what happened.
It was Dad who shared, “Seems to me that the man had a deep reason for reacting as he did. Hear him out. I’m not condoning him for it. I owe him a punch in the face.”
I giggled.
Mom nodded, “I agree with Bax, sun beam.”
Then Dad sighed, “Also, for Cole and Madalyn, if that’s the case, you need to tell them, button.”
I sighed as he winked, then wiped my tears away.
“I will. Just need some time.”
And that was how we made a plan.
They helped me talk to my boss about taking time from the company. They also talked to my landlord and explained what was going on; they got me out of my lease so I could move in with them.
Which led to now.
“I got the rest of your stuff from your bedroom packed up. The Whispering Falls Community Center will be here tomorrow to get all the donations.”
I smiled weakly at him and nodded, “Tha....”
What I was about to say was stalled by the banging at my door.
Dad frowned as he set the box by the rest of the boxes and my suitcases, moved to check the peephole, then looked back at me, “It’s Bronson.”
I sighed.
He banged against the door, “Lila, swear to Christ if this door isn’t opened in the next breath, I’m kicking the fucking thing in.”
“What do you want me to do, button?” he asked.
“Let him in, Dad,” I said.
He nodded, and then he opened the door.
And there Bronson stood with Cole and Madalyn at his side.
I felt all the air in my lungs freeze as I took in their expressions.
Sorrow. Sadness. And... hurt.
Bronson
The moment the door opened, I looked through her living room and gasped.
My mouth dropped open.
What. The. Fuck.
She’d lost weight.
Too fucking much of it.
What the fuck was going on?
I froze for a millisecond and then stalked into her house and dropped to my knees in front of her.
Locking my eyes with her crystal baby blues.
Cole
Seeing Lila, the woman I wanted to call Mom, look so frail and beaten down, I felt a tear trail down my cheek.
What the hell was going on?
I followed Dad in but I sat down beside her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders.
Madalyn
Seeing the woman, I wanted to call Mom look like that, it broke something inside of me.
Needing to be close to her, I raced to the other side and sat down on her side.
She looked at me and tried to show a beaming smile, but I could tell it just wasn’t there.
A tear slid down my cheek.
She brought her hand up and wiped it away and whispered, “Don’t cry, sweetheart.”
Kendra
I looked at Bax and mouthed, “They need her as much as she needs them.”
Bax
I nodded, then I mouthed, “I’ll kill someone to get her that kidney.”
Lila
“I planned to come over here on Saturday and grovel at your feet,” he whispered.
She looked at me and didn’t say a word.
“Lila, baby, talk to me. What’s going on?” he asked.
He took my hands into his and stayed on his knees before me.
Cole tightened his arm around my shoulders.
Madalyn pressed even closer to me.
I looked at mom first, then at dad. And both of them nodded at me encouragingly.
I opened my mouth and told them.
Told them everything.
Tears trailed down their cheeks.
Even Bronson’s.
Then I watched.
If I hadn’t been watching, I would have missed it.
But a spark of resilience and fire hit his eyes.
He nodded, “Okay.”
I shook my head, “No. Not okay. I’m going to move in with Dad and Mom. And hope for a kidney, but the likelihood of getting one... I won’t put the three of you through that. I need y’all to go. Okay?”
“Go?” he whispered.
I nodded, “They’ve been through enough because of their mom. I won’t put them through anything more.”
“Come on, guys. She’s made her mind up. Time for you to go.” Dad said.
Cole growled, “No.”
“She claimed us, but we claim her right back. No.” Madalyn said.
“Not no. But fuck no. Gave you me. You gave me you. Fucked up. You’ll never know how sorry I am that I spewed my venom at you. But if you think we’re going to abandon you when you need us the most, well, you don’t know us very well then.”
“Bronson... I’ve only got months if that.” I whispered.
Bronson
“I don’t give a fuck. Damnit, Lila, don’t you know how we feel about you?” I growled.
She shook her head, then opened her mouth, but I shook my head.
“Swore I’d never give another woman power over me. But just like in everything you do, you didn’t take no for an answer. You slid in right under my skin, found another opening, and solidified yourself in my heart.” I told her opening up that part of me.
She shook her head, “I’ve only got months, Bronson. That wouldn’t be fair to you or them.”
“Then I’ll take those months. Hell, I’ll even take those days. Cause Lila baby, never having that time with you? Fuck. I’d rather go the rest of my life with the best memories of you than never having you.”
A tear slid down her cheek. “I should have told you that I love you sooner. That way, when you were told this, you could use my love as an armor against the news.”
Another tear trailed down her cheek.
I winked, “You once told me that you wanted a relationship like it used to be. Where the man took one look at a woman and just knew. You don’t know this... but I had my moment when I laid eyes on you at Dominiks that first time. I was just too fucking scared to admit it.”
“I’d rather have what time we have left than never have you at all,” I whispered.
Another tear trailed down her cheek, then I looked at Bax and Kendra, “Can y’all take my kids to another room for a moment. There’s something I need to tell Lila.”
They both nodded.
Cole kissed her cheek before he stood up.
Madalyn kissed her other cheek then stood up.
And both times the kids did it, she closed her eyes and leaned into their touch.
The moment they were out of the room, I whispered, “Eyes, baby. Give me those crystal baby blues, yeah?”
She sighed, then gave me those eyes.
“When Cole was eight, and Madalyn was six, I had been in a fight. I came out of that cage only to learn that while I had been in there, my babies were shoved in a basement at a party so their mom could get high. But not on pot. On cocaine and meth. And the door was locked. There was no bathroom, food, or water for them. I found out they had been there for a little over ten hours. The bitch lied to me and told me they were sleeping when I had called to check on them before my fight.”
She gasped.
I nodded.
“I’ve haven’t gone to a party since. It left a bad taste in my mouth. And you should have talked to me before you said yes. I would have let you explain, and knowing then what I know now, I would have let her go.”
She nodded.
“The other two things you have to know, and this is a secret that I need you to take in and hold close, and never share it with anyone, okay?”
She nodded.
I shared about the nightmare I had that I lost her. It was stupid to hold back from her because of that, and judging by the look she gave me, she thought that too.
“But the main reason why I held back... every woman I’ve ever met has used me or betrayed me. You already know about my mom and what she said when I took Cole to meet her for the first time. But here’s what the world doesn’t know...”
I swallowed, then I looked deep into her eyes and said, “Is that I didn’t put Cole or Madalyn in Eve’s body willingly. She drugged me and climbed on top of me to get what she wanted.”
Lila was frozen, then she whispered, “That. Motherfucking. Hoe. Cum dumpster. What a fucking piece of shit. No, she’s not a bitch. That’s an insult to a bitch. No, what she is worse. One day a word will come up, and that will be her. They will write her name under the definition of the word.”
I grinned up at her at her vehemence in defense of me.
“Can you maybe get why I was hesitant?” I asked.
She nodded.
Then I shared, “I should have remembered that I trust you, that night. I’m so fucking sorry. Can you please give me another chance?”
Lila
It’s not a good idea.
I should never have told him about my illness.
The illness was starting to become even worse with each passing day.
But my heart... well, it was tired of being denied.
It was tired of taking scraps.
It was tired of not belonging to someone.
It was tired of just beating for me.
Not when it was meant to beat for three people.
Cole, Madalyn, and Bronson.
My mouth spoke, taking care of my heart before my brain could stop it, “Okay.”
Bronson’s whiskey-colored eyes locked with mine as he whispered, “Yeah?”
I nodded, “Yeah.”
And that was when he wrapped his large, calloused hand around the side of my neck and rested his forehead against mine, and then he whispered, “Thank fuck.”