Chapter Twenty One
Memorial Weekend has ended and it’s time to go back to reality. Back to facing the truths that I’ve hidden from all weekend keeping us busy so we didn’t have to talk about any of it.
Westley sleeps soundly on the bed next to me, it’s like four in the morning, so I’m not surprised he’s asleep. I stare down at him, the moonlight hitting his face perfectly. The small hairs growing on his jaw, I’ve never seen him unshaven. He’s always kept it clean cut, and if I’m honest, Id love to climb on top of him and ride his face, feeling the beard against my skin.
But I can’t, we haven’t discussed what happens next. I told him that he could stay to see what our life is like, to make sure he wants to be here. He saw us for a weekend, which is only part of our life. The other part is busy with work, games, movies, dinners, and tea parties. Because even though my daughter wants to race bikes, she still loves a good tea party. Especially when I make little lemon cakes. A smile curls on my lips as his hair falls into his face. Carefully I move it out of the way so I can see him again.
“Kitty.” His voice is deeper when he’s been asleep, but it still sends a shiver through my body.
“Hi.” I say, staring at him when he opens his eyes.
He lifts his head to look at the time on his phone. “Why are you awake?” He asks, moving to his side, propping his head up as he blinks away the sleepy and yawns.
“I was thinking.” I say nonchalantly.
“About?”
“Us.” I sit up in the bed and fidget with my fingers, looking down at them. “I don’t know what to do, West.”
The bed moves as he sits up and moves behind me, pulling me against his chest. “Don’t think, just let it develop naturally. If you still feel like I don’t belong here with you, then I’ll find somewhere else to live. I don’t want you to feel pressured.” He kisses the side of my head, “I just want you Kitty, and I know you want me to. I’ll continue to show you that for the rest of my life babe.”
Everything with him has always felt natural, even when he made my life hell, it was natural, he didn’t force the bullying, it just was. The way he felt for me was natural. The way we fit together was natural, even if I made it harder. I was and am the problem, I don’t know how to just let it be. I second guess everything, doubt myself and my worth.
“Do you want me to give you a back rub? Will it help you sleep?” He asks, wrapping his arms around me.
“No, just hold me like this.” I say leaning back against him, feeling the warmth of his skin, I want to cry. I feel the sting in my face, the deep one that tells you that you’re about to cry. It feels different this time, having him here. Before I had so much shit going on in my head, and after everything that happened that year, I used his love for me to make myself feel better.
But I am better now, even if I told him I wasn’t. My fits come so rarely now that I’m basically in control of myself. I have dark thoughts from time to time, but nothing like I used to. When I look in the mirror, I know the person staring back at me.
I’m stronger, more fit for a relationship. “We need to tell McKenna. Even if we are never together, she has a right to know you’re her father.” I sigh.
“We’ll be together, Kitty, I’ll wait for you to come to terms with it. But, there will never be anyone else for us. We are end game.” He pulls me closer, holding me tightly.
I know he’s right, that’s why I couldn’t even accept a date with Kris, he asked several times before I introduced him to Kindra. I have sex, I don’t do feelings. I have repeatedly told myself this, that I’ve come to completely believe it. Feelings make things messy, and someone always walks away. Leaving the other heart broken.
“We should take her to lunch at her favorite place before we drop this bomb on her.” I laugh, “She could eat her weight in pickle fries, and spend every penny I have, if I’d let her.”
“Pickle fries?” West leans over me, as I laugh.
“Like fried pickles, only they’re spears. She freaking loves them.”
“So what does one do there?”
“Bowling, arcade games, food, take your pick.” I push off him and turn around. “You should see her face when she’s there, it’s insane.”
“I can’t wait.”
“She’s so amazing, West, I’m glad you want to be a part of her life, you’re going to love her.” I say, crossing my legs as I start picking at my thumb again. He reaches over and covers my hands, stopping me.
When I look up at him, his brows furrow in worry, “I’m not just here for her Kitty, I keep telling you that.”
“Maybe that’s where we start. You and her, get to know her.” I pull my hands away from him, still unsure of what I should do. My head has been messy since seeing him back home, everything about him and I tells me we’d be okay, but there’s this voice in the back of my head warning me to be careful.
I should definitely set an appointment to talk to my therapist. “Katherine.” My full name always sounds weird on his lips, ever since he started calling me Kitty, I yearn to hear it from him.
“Westley.” I give him his full name back, staring into those dark eyes. It’s early morning, and McKenna won’t be up for a few more hours at least. My head is giving me conflicting options. One, I could have sex, which my hooha would be very happy about. But, then it could give him a false hope that we’re now together. Two, I could kick him to the couch so I can sleep peacefully. But, I’ve never slept better than I do with him right next to me.
Damn brain. Make up your mind.
“You’re thinking too hard about it. Just feel it.” How does he do that? It’s like he can read my mind. “What does your heart tell you to do?”
I don’t let my heart rule me anymore, it’s gotten me into too much trouble already. It trusted Knox and West, and look at what happened to me after them.
“Can you just hold me until we fall back asleep?” I ask.
“Of course.” He grabs me, helping me flip under the blanket until we’re snuggling together. I move and get comfortable against his body, feeling something poking me in the ass. “Sorry, I can’t control it.” he whispers into my ear, kissing it softly.
I wiggle again, pressing my ass against him. My eyes fall closed as I feel it grow further, wishing it was inside of me, instead of touching me through so much fabric.
“Fuck it.” I rotate in his arms and crash my lips to his, putting my leg up over his hip until he’s on his back. I break the kiss and look down at him.
“I know this doesn’t mean anything.” West rolls his eyes, taking the hem of my shirt as he pulls it over my head.
Is he wrong? Does it mean anything? We strip so fast and I know I’m soaked for him. I adjust myself, reaching between us to guide him into me. The second his tip is right there, I drop down, burying him deep inside me. I moan out, letting my head fall to his chest as I just feel him, stretching me. Filling me completely, as he always has.
He grabs my hips and helps me move as I just feel it. “Fuck, you’re so damn tight.” He says, grunting as our bodies meet, again and again.
There’s a burn deep inside me, begging for release, one that he’s only ever given me. I let out a shaky moan as I lift off him, letting myself cum, splashing all over his hips. Fucking hell. My bottom lip begins to shiver as I sit back down on him. My pussy is throbbing as I feel the orgasm. He holds me up just a little and drives up into me, fucking me like only he can.
West flips us over, holding the backs of my thighs as he drives into me, Jesus Christ, this man fucks like no other.
The building starts again as I try to push my legs together, he pulls out and rubs his finger across my clit rapidly until Im biting into the pillow that has somehow found its way over my head. I can hear my orgasm, the wet sounds filling the room. “So fucking hot.” He growls, pushing his dick into me when it stops.
My body feels like its on a completely different plane of existence right now, humming as I just feel it all. He removes the pillow and looks at me, damn him. Those dark eyes, filled with nothing but love.
“Eyes on me Kitty.” He grabs my throat, cutting the blood flow as I try my damnedest to keep my eyes open. I want to squeeze them shit and scream at the top of my lungs as I ride wave after wave of orgasms.
My body tightens again, pushing him out as my knees shake. “Yes Kitty, give it to me.” His hand is quick to work me over, milking me for every fucking thing I have.
When he lets out a vein popping grunt, I watch his face, every inch of him is fucking beautiful as he reaches his own orgasm.
Even after hes finished, he keeps a slow rhythm, “I’m not ready for this to end Kitty. I dont want a cold shoulder the second this is over.” He leans down, nipping at my skin giving me chills as he moves.
“One moment at a time.” I say, running my finger up through his hair. When I bring my hands back down I feel his stubble, “Have you ever thought about growing this out a bit?”
“A beard?” He asks, as we continue to move as one, his dick getting hard again.
“Yes.” I lick my lips as a pleasurable tingle rides up my back.
“I have, as well as growing my hair back out.” He licks and teases my breasts.
“Id like that.” I say, “I loved your long hair.”
Suddenly he pulls out of me, grabs the back of my knees and flips me over, pulling my ass up to meet him. When he thrusts into me, his fingers dance up my spine until theyre laced in my hair. Hes forcing my face down as he plunges deeper into me.
Hot fucking damn, this is the best fuck Ive had since, well him. Like it was great at the reunion, but fuuuuck. This is where its at. He pulls me up, arching my back until I feel his lips on my ear, “Such a good fucking girl taking my dick like this.” He pushes me back to the pillow and Im fucking gone, gripping the sheet and screaming into the pillow as I cum harder than Ive ever cum before.