The Greek Guesthouse - Chapter 2
‘Iwant that deed on my desk in ten minutes. Annie, ANNIE!’
Annie blinked and came back to earth. Adelia, aka Attila the Hun, stood over her looking as if she were suffering from a terrible bout of piles. Perhaps she is, Annie thought randomly. Shingles can be brought on by stress – perhaps piles can be too. ‘Uh, I’m sorry, Adelia. I didn’t catch that?’
There was a dramatic eye roll before the older woman repeated her request and banged a stack of papers she obviously wanted editing down on her desk.
Ready to flounce off, she hovered on one heel, her eyes snake-like slits.
‘You know, your head is all over the place at the moment, and you’ve been making some pretty silly mistakes of late. ’
For a moment, Annie thought she was going to be asked what the matter was, followed by a nice dose of afternoon tea and sympathy, but she should have known better.
‘But – and I want to make myself very clear on this – whatever is going on in your private life is nothing whatsoever to do with your working life. As a professional, I expect you to leave your problems at the door between the hours of nine a.m. and five thirty p.m. and focus on your job. Do I make myself clear?’
Attila never made herself anything but clear. Was this some sort of formal warning though? Either way, her boss’s underlying message was very clear: shape up or ship out, so she nodded meekly.
She wouldn’t cry, she vowed as she blinked rapidly and flicked the birdy at Attila’s retreating back before she opened the letters folder on the computer.
Trying to focus her attention on finding the one she needed to edit, she refused to glance over at gormless Sue, who she just knew would be gawping at the drama of it all.
In her current state, if she were to make eye contact with Toad of Toad Hall sitting across from her, she would likely swing for her, and then she’d be in for far worse than a verbal warning.
What stung the most, though, was that she knew Attila was right.
She was all over the place. That didn’t stop her from having an argument with her boss in her head, however.
A regular occurrence because that way she got to say her piece back to the officious woman who had a knack of making her feel the size of ant.
She wished she was brave enough to tell Adelia she’d no right to talk to her like she was something nasty she’d trod in.
She’d yet to patch things up with Carl too, another reason she was out of sorts.
What he’d said about her and Tony being unsuited kept replaying in her mind, despite her attempts to put his words aside.
Evenings like the one she’d spent at home with Tony last night didn’t help matters either.
It had left her with that unsettled feeling in the pit of her stomach again, and not just because of the Indian takeaway they’d shared.
She’d come home with grand plans for the Playboy Bunny outfit, picked up from an adults-only shop on her lunch break.
Her first foray into such a shop had been eye-opening, and it was unfortunate that Justin from accounts had been walking past as she exited with her shopping bag, from which a set of bunny ears protruded.
She had no doubt that what she got up to in the privacy of her own home would be titillating office gossip before home time.
Annie had decided on the spur of the moment that spicing things up in the bedroom might get Tony, in a moment of weakness, to set a date.
She’d had a glass of wine when she’d got in the front door to smooth away the edges of inhibition and had been about to slip into something a lot less comfortable – complete with fluffy tail – when Tony had texted to say he’d had an emergency call-out, would be late home and would pick up an Indian on his way home.
That’s when she’d stashed the bunny outfit in her drawers beneath a pile of jumpers.
A spicy Indian wasn’t conducive to romance.
For some unspoken reason, they always got two containers of his favourite, lamb bhuna, instead of mixing it up with one of her favourites, mango chicken.
Is that what married life to Tony would be like?
she’d wondered later as she chewed without enthusiasm on her naan bread.
They’d watched a minor rugby game when she’d have rather watched a film.
She volunteered at the animal shelter because he didn’t want a pet.
Would it be one big compromise? But the more she thought about it, the clearer it became that their relationship wasn’t based on compromise so much as capitulation on her part.
Look at those gorgeous boots she’d had her eye on.
She’d dreamed of those boots; she’d had the Nancy Sinatra song about boots being made for walking stuck on repeat in her head for weeks.
Had she bought the boots? No, she hadn’t, because of Tony’s compulsory saving scheme.
He insisted they put a set amount aside in their respective accounts each week for the house fund.
OK, so that was sensible, and the boots were crazy expensive, but sometimes she thought it might be fun to throw caution to the wind.
She didn’t think of herself as a weak person, so why did she let him get away with it? Was she that frightened of being on her own and having no one to blame for making the wrong choices other than herself?
Not wanting to deal with that question, she’d pushed it aside. To clear her congested mind, she’d heaped another spoonful of brown curry on top of her rice and wondered why this was all suddenly news to her anyway. She’d been living with Tony for the past three years, after all.
She blinked and the black computer screen came back into focus. Annie turned her eyes away from the on-screen deed to flick them over the hard copy she held in her hand. It was covered in angry red squiggles. So much for a paperless office, she thought.
Half an hour later, she tapped on Attila’s door and placed the amended document in the woman’s outstretched hand. She didn’t bother looking up from whatever it was she was so intently poring over, and Annie was glad that no further instructions were barked at her.
She tiptoed out of the room, flopped back down into her chair and glanced over at her empty in-tray. Empty except for that stack of filing she was so adept at ignoring.
Why change the habit of a lifetime then? She flipped into her contacts, her mind made up to finish the email she’d begun writing to her sister’s old pen pal, Kas, before lunch.
If Roz were alive, she’d be leaning on her shoulder because that’s what big sisters were for.
There’d only been eighteen months between them, but Roz had always been the worldly one who’d paved the way and pushed the boundaries.
Now her sister was only there in her dreams – the Before Roz, beautiful and vibrant.
It was still a shock to wake up and realise it wasn’t real; that she was gone.
Could she have done something more, and if she had, would her sister still be here?
After she’d died, Annie had bottled her grief up and hid it away from her friends.
She didn’t want to share it because how could any of them possibly understand what she was going through?
Suddenly, the normal interests they’d once shared seemed trite, and she found herself having to bite her tongue when they’d whittle on about who was wearing what to whoever’s party.
What did it matter? She no longer cared, and she soon found that people’s sympathy only stretched so far for so long – except for Carl. He got it.
Instead of venturing out, she’d taken to sitting in her sister’s old bedroom, wishing she could wake up and find normal life had resumed, but this void Roz’s death had thrown her into was the new norm, and it was up to her to find a way to move through it.
The time eventually came for her to sink or swim, and somehow she managed to swim.
The first thing she’d done the day she’d decided to tentatively try a doggy paddle was pitch in and help her mum pack up Roz’s room.
The house was being sold, and it had to be done.
She’d found the letters from her sister’s old school pen pal, Kassia, in a drawer and remembered the excitement when, as part of a school project, Roz had starting writing to her.
The stamps and the letters had been a novelty, but when their project was finished, they’d swapped to email, though eventually their lives had gone in separate directions and those too had dried up.
Kassia should know Roz had passed, Annie had decided.
It was a rare thing to pick up a pen and write a letter, but there’d been something cathartic about doing so that first time. She’d felt the news of her sister’s passing wasn’t something that should be read on a phone or computer screen. It needed to be felt, held and folded away to read again.
She’d picked up where Roz had left off and had been emailing back and forth with Kassia ever since, sharing stories from their very different lives. It was easy to be completely hand-on-heart honest with someone who lived thousands of miles away, Annie thought, tapping out the rest of her email.
I have this horrible sick feeling sitting in the pit of my stomach and it won’t go away.
I know that I need to talk to Tony about setting a date for our wedding again.
But I’m frightened of what he’ll say, and then there are times like last night when I wonder if I even want to get married or if it’s just something I think should come next.
I guess all couples have moments like those before they take the plunge.
Maybe that’s why Tony’s procrastinating.
Maybe he has pre-wedding jitters, although technically he can’t be because we’ve got no further than the engagement ring.
Did you or Spiros suffer from nerves before you married?
So, Kas, I’m in a state of misery, and I’m sorry my message is one of such doom and gloom. Some words of wisdom from my older and much wiser, married dear friend ASAP would be appreciated.
Annie
xox
The reply came through half an hour later as she half-heartedly tidied her desk drawer and counted down the last hour until home time. She clicked it open, hungry for advice.
Agapiti Annie,
I can’t speak for Spiros, but I wasn’t nervous about marrying him. I never had any doubt he was my soul mate and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
I don’t have long as the guests will be down for breakfast soon, but I want to tell you this. You must listen to what your heart is telling you and follow it, Annie. It won’t lie to you. Life is too short not to. You know this.
Your friend,
Kas xox
Follow her heart? That’s easier said than done, thank you very much, Annie thought disgruntledly as she picked up the pile of papers in her in-tray and shuffled them around to look busy. She felt a pang as she always did at any reference to Roz, no matter how loose. Life was short.
The uneasy stirrings deep down in her stomach started up once more, and Annie, determined to ignore them, got to her feet.
She wandered over to the filing cabinets with a handful of old letters and half-heartedly attempted to locate the files from whence they’d come.
As she did so, an idea took shape for the evening ahead, and her mood buoyed.
Yes, she thought and only narrowly missed trapping her fingers in the cabinet as she pushed it shut with renewed gusto then returned to her desk to grab another sheaf of papers, tonight’s the night.
It was time she was proactive. All this dillydallying wouldn’t do.
It was confusing her where there was no need to be confused at all.
Tony was a man, after all, and a rather simple man at that. A secretive smile played on her lips. Tonight, the bunny suit would be unearthed from its woolly confines for an outing.
Annie sat down once more and noticed her computer’s screen saver had flicked to an image of Greece.
It was the same image Roz, who’d dreamed of visiting her pen pal one day, had used on her laptop, and she let the scene wash over her.
It never failed to make her wonder at the beauty of the place.
The tumble of white buildings against a blue sky, the pop of red bougainvillea, the rocky outcrops and crystal-clear waters were soul food.
She continued to stare because it had just dawned on her that she was finally seeing what Roz had seen when she’d looked at the picture.
Not some mass-produced image but rather the dream of anything being possible.
Surely the world couldn’t be anything but your oyster once you’d set your eyes upon such a vista?
If only, Annie mused, hitting a key and sighing.