Chapter 12
Lauren
“What the actual fuck?” A familiar voice yells. A shiver goes down my spine as I realize who that voice is. It couldn’t be. It can’t be.
Even as I tell myself that my brother is long gone, and that I’m never going to see him again, I still turn my head to look toward the sound.
To my amazement, I find myself overwhelmed to see Vale standing in front of me.
He’s fifty pounds lighter than when he left, all lean muscle and scraggly beard with a haunted look in his eyes.
He’s here. My brother is here.
I scramble out of Bronco’s lap and race toward Vale, terrified that he’s going to disappear like a mirage in the desert.
I’m running toward him in the space of a heartbeat.
I have to touch him to know he’s real. Have to feel my arms around him so I can trust what I’m seeing.
He catches me when I throw myself at him, just like he would when I was little.
He was a lanky teenager back then, never too cool to hug his little sister.
He was my biggest protector and my best friend.
When he wraps his arms around me, it’s like the pain of the last three years is suddenly gushing out of my eyes as I sob into his chest. I tell him how I thought I’d never see him again.
How I’ve missed him and thought of him every day that he’s been gone.
How I never forgot him and prayed every night for his safe return.
He holds me close and rubs my back in a soft, soothing circle until I’ve cried out all of my tears. When I lift my head, I see the tear tracks on his face. I can’t imagine what he’s been through, and I have a million questions. But there’s only one I can think of right this moment.
“Does Aunt Elaine know? Has she seen you?”
“I told Ridge to bring me to you first.” He pauses then glares at Bronco. “This is not what I meant when I made you promise to look out for her.”
His words hit me square in the chest with unexpected force. Beneath my ribcage, my heart cracks open. Bronco promised to look out for me. I was dumped on him the same way I was dumped on Aunt Elaine’s doorstep.
None of this is real. He hasn’t really wanted me. I’ve only been a responsibility to him. And I’ve been too desperate and lonely and lovesick to see that. Shame coils deep in my gut. How could this be? How did I not see it? Was I really that foolish?
I glance at Bronco. My eyes tear up, but I refuse to let them fall. “You promised him years ago to look after me, didn’t you?”
“If you think for one second that what we have is about some pact I made with your brother—”
I turn to Vale. “Let’s go find Aunt Elaine.” I’m proud that my voice doesn’t shake or give away the amount of pain I’m in.
“You’re not going anywhere,” Bronco insists.
I shake my head and walk toward the truck I saw Vale get out of. Ridge is leaning against it, watching the whole scene unfold.
Vale stays behind for a minute. I’m not sure what he and Bronco say to each other. There’s no grand shouting. There’s no punches thrown. There’s only the quiet disintegration of a friendship that’s been around for years.
“I thought this would be a happier reunion,” Ridge says.
I give him a tight smile. “It’s complicated.”
He nods like he understands, but I know he doesn’t. Instead, he just gets in the front seat and says, “Where to?”
When we arrive at the retirement community, I wake up Aunt Elaine.
Her hands shake when she sees Vale. Then she flaps her arms the way she does when a big spider has scared her.
She keeps hugging him and murmuring how this can’t be true and how it’s the best day of her life.
Then I’m hugging my brother again and crying some more. I can’t believe Vale is finally home.
He sleeps in my apartment that night. I tried to get him to take the bed or even the couch, but he insisted on sleeping on the floor.
He didn’t tell me what he’s been through or what he’s seen.
He only told me that beds feel weird now as he curled up on the floor with a rolled-up blanket under his head.
He’s snoring within minutes, while I’m left staring down at his sleeping form and wondering what the future holds for us now.
I listen to his even breaths, but I can’t find sleep for myself. My heart feels too broken and too sad. Bronco keeps calling my phone, but he hasn’t left a single message. It’s just as well. I don’t think I could listen to them without breaking down.
But Bronco is here the next morning when I open my apartment door. Vale is already gone, having left me alone.
“We need to talk,” Bronco says as soon as he sees me.
I gesture for him to enter the apartment. I don’t want an audience for this particular conversation. How is it that just yesterday morning I was waking up in his arms and feeling so happy?
He steps inside, crosses his arms over his broad chest, and glares at me. He looks like he didn’t get any more sleep than I did, but the difference is he still looks amazing despite the sleepless night.
“It’s okay,” I tell him as soon as he’s inside. “You don’t owe me any explanations. I understand exactly what happened. I’m his kid sister, and you got stuck with me. A responsibility you never wanted or asked for.”
He rakes his hand through his hair and steps close to me, invading my space and reminding me of that night I spent being held. “It’s not like that.”
I force myself to smile and let him off the hook. It’s not his fault I got my stupid heart broken. “I know you’re trying to spare my feelings. But it’s okay. I’m a big girl. I understand what you had to do.”
He stares at me for a long moment, hurt that I don’t even understand etched onto his features. “Do you have any idea how much it hurts me that you won’t let me love you?”
“Bronco…”
He puts his hand on my face, cupping my cheek, his thumb caressing my lip. “Don’t say anything. I love you. And if you don’t work through what’s going on in your head, then just know that I’m going to ache for you, for us, and everything that we could have been, for the rest of my life.”
I’m caught off guard by his confession. He loves me? Is that true?
He presses a soft kiss to my forehead. “I’m not going to stop fighting for you, Lauren. I’m never going to stop fighting.”
Then he turns and leaves my apartment. I watch him retreat, more confused than ever. Bronco’s a good man. He’s honorable, and he’s never lied to me. But is it possible he’s just confused responsibility with love?
My heart breaks all over again at the question. Why did he have to show up here? I was planning on making it through this day just fine, but then here he is.
I manage to hold it together until I retreat to the employee break room mid-morning to sob. Officially I’m eating some pre-packaged donuts, but unofficially I just needed a few minutes to cry and pretend that my heart isn’t completely shattered.
“Damn, you look rough,” Ryan says when he comes into the room and spots me. He sits down next to me on the bench, our shoulders touching. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I shrug. “It’s really complicated. What about you? Have you talked to Joyce yet? She’d be lucky to have you.”
He swallows hard. “I haven’t talked to her yet. There’s a difference between belonging and being wanted, you know?”
“Exactly.” I sniff and give a little hiccup. “You can belong without being wanted.”
Ryan nods. “It’s my greatest fear. I mean, if you were in my shoes, would you tell her?”
I hesitate, because I’m not sure I’m that brave. But I look to him and tell him the truth. “Joyce is going to love having you as her grandson. She deserves to know about you.”
“I’ll think about it,” he finally says. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it? I’m a good listener, and I got two shoulders you can cry on.”
I force a smile I don’t feel. “Thanks. I think I’d like to be alone right now.”
He stands and plucks a donut from the package. “Well, come find me if you need a friend.”
“Okay. What’s going on?” Aunt Elaine finally asks two days later. She’s called me into her office under the guise of talking about the success of the auction. “You’ve been moping around, and Bronco will not stop calling me for updates about how you’re doing. What’s this about?”
I swallow hard. “I’m sorry. I can make him stop calling you.”
“I don’t care about that,” she says. “I just want you to be happy. He says he loves you. I don’t understand. I thought you were sweet on him. What am I missing?”
“I’ve always been in love with him,” I tell her miserably.
“Then what’s the problem? He adores you too.”
“It’s not that simple.” I blow out a deep breath, knowing she won’t let this go. Then I stop and explain the whole story with Vale and how Bronco promised to look after me. “It’s the same situation with you and my mom all over again.”
She frowns and comes around her desk. She leans against the solid wood oak and crosses her ankles. “Tell me what you know about your mom and what happened with her.”
I swallow hard. I hate even thinking about this stuff, but I do my best to explain, “Vale and I were dumped on you. You were over here living your best life, and she just dropped us off one day. Boom, two kids that you never asked to take responsibility for.”
Aunt Elaine stares at me for a long moment. “Oh, sweetie. You really don’t know, do you?”
“Know what?”
She pulls her phone from her pocket and dial’s a number. “Vale, get your butt in here.”
It only takes him a moment or two to join us. When he does, she gestures for him to take the seat next to mine. “Do you remember what happened the summer you came here?”
He gives a curt nod. He used to be so open, so talkative.
I’ve only managed to gather pieces from his time he spent missing, but apparently, he was in the desert alone with a head injury for a long time.
He wasn’t even sure who he was or where he came from.
That’s why he’s been gone so long without a word.
“Your sister is under the impression that your mom dumped you both here.”
He doesn’t glance in my direction. He keeps his gaze fixed on Elaine, but I don’t doubt he’s cataloging my every movement.
That’s something else that’s new. He’s hyperaware of everything.
Apparently, he fell in with a band of mercenaries at one point, and they did missions together.
I’m not sure what kind of missions, but obviously, the type that demand constant vigilance. “That’s not what happened.”
I frown. “I was there. I remember it all.”
Aunt Elaine’s voice is soft, “You weren’t told all the details, and you only remember it through the eyes of a kid.”
“Then what really happened?” I ask, frustrated that I feel like I’m missing all of these pieces. What is it that I’m not seeing and why hasn’t someone told me what it is?
There’s a tense silence in the room then finally, Vale clears his throat. “Mom started dating a guy who had been to prison for some nasty stuff. He wasn’t a good person, and I didn’t want him around you. So, I called Aunt Elaine and told her what was happening. I knew she’d care.”
“That’s when I invited both of you to come live with me,” my aunt fills in the detail.
“What?” I gasp.
“Your mom left you here, that’s true,” Aunt Elaine says. “But you were never dumped on me. You were invited and welcomed into my home. You were—and still are—wanted.”
Tears fill my eyes as I see the situation through a fresh perspective. It’s not that I wasn’t wanted or cast aside. “I can’t believe this. You mean all of this time—”
Aunt Elaine drops to her knees in front of my chair and takes my hand in hers. She gives it a firm squeeze. “If you never hear anything I say again, hear this: I chose you. And I’d choose you again and again.”
I reach for her then, wrapping my arms around her. All those years of thinking I wasn’t wanted aren’t magically erased. But I see them differently now because the lie is no longer my loudest truth, tormenting me with pain. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do that. You didn’t have to take us in.”
“I love you,” she says, squeezing me back.
My phone dings in my pocket as I’m wiping the tears from my face. I stare at the notification and nearly burst into tears all over again. This can’t really be happening, can it?