Chapter 5
Liliana tossed and turned into the night. Every time she closed her eyes, echoes of the explosion blasted through her head. She fought to erase those sounds by thinking of something else.
The only other thing that stood out in her mind and trumped the explosion was Dax pulling her close for that practice kiss. That image took over, raced through her mind and stirred her blood all over again.
How was she going to keep a cool head when the man made her thoroughly aware of him in a very personal way?
She laid a hand across her belly, feeling the burning desire coiling at her core. How long had it been since she’d been with a man?
Liliana sat up in bed and tried to remember.
Too long.
That was it.
She’d gone far too long without sex.
Nothing more.
Could the Brotherhood Protectors have assigned a less…attractive man to provide for her security?
She flopped against the pillow, grabbed the spare pillow and covered her face. Maybe if she smothered herself just a little, she’d pass out and sleep. After a couple of minutes, she realized she could still breathe.
Tossing the pillow aside, she turned onto her side and stared at the starlight shining through the window around the edges of the curtain.
Maybe some fresh air would calm her and allow her to finally go to sleep. The next day would be busy, requiring stamina and endless cheerfulness. She couldn’t show up to a campaign rally appearing exhausted, with dark circles beneath her eyes.
“Who am I kidding?” Liliana shoved the blanket aside and climbed out of bed. Quietly, so as not to wake the man in the room beside hers, she moved the chair from beneath the doorknob and opened the French door.
The hinge squeaked. Liliana flinched and strained to hear movement on the other side of the wall. When she didn’t hear anything, she stepped out onto the balcony in her borrowed white cotton nightgown that came to mid-thigh and let the cool mountain air wash over her.
“Couldn’t sleep, either?” a deep male voice sounded not far from where she stood.
Liliana spun and lowered into the fighting stance she’d learned in Taekwondo.
A dark silhouette moved away from the wall of the building into the glow of starlight.
Her heart still racing, Liliana let go of the breath she’d been holding in a whoosh. “Oh, it’s you.” She pressed a hand to her wildly beating heart and laughed shakily. “You scared me.”
“Luckily, it was only me,” he said, crossing the few short steps to join her at the rail. “If your attacker had followed you here, you could have just given him an easy target by stepping out of your room alone…at night.”
“Oh, please.” She laid her hands on the rail and lifted her face to the night, brightly lit by the millions of stars shining in the crisp, clean mountain air. “I just needed some fresh air to clear my head.”
“I get it,” he said. “So much has happened over the past twenty-four hours. It’s a lot to take in.”
“You’re probably used to things exploding around you, having been deployed many times,” she said.
“I wouldn’t say that you get used to it, but you learn to deal with it.”
“So many don’t learn how to deal with it and end up taking their own lives to end the trauma,” Liliana said.
“I don’t recommend that. If the explosion is still keeping you awake or giving you nightmares, talk to someone.”
“I’m talking to you,” she said softly. Although the explosion was only half of what was keeping her from sleep. The man standing so close to her was the other half.
He moved closer and slipped his arm around her shoulders. “You’re going to be okay. I promise.”
“I’m not so sure,” she said as her knees shook and heat flared like a lit match, landing on dry tinder.
“Are you worried I won’t be able to protect you?”
She gave a short sharp laugh. “No, I believe you’ll protect me from whoever is trying to attack me.”
“Then what else are you afraid of?”
Liliana shook her head. “It’s just a feeling.” She couldn’t tell him she was afraid of herself and the rush of longing she’d experienced when he’d kissed her. The feeling had been so intense that it had shaken her to her very core and threatened to do so again as she stood in the curve of his arm.
He chuckled. “Can you be more specific? I can’t help if I don’t know what I’m up against.”
“Sorry. That’s as specific as I can get. Suffice it to say, I’m feeling a bit insecure at the moment and hoped a breath of fresh air would help calm my nerves and let me sleep.”
“Fair enough.” He stood silently, holding her against him, allowing her to get that breath of fresh air.
The fact he was holding her was doing anything but calm her. No matter how much his touch disturbed her, she couldn’t pull away from him.
In fact, it was only an extremely tenuous hold on her control that kept her from turning in his arms and giving herself up for another of his kisses.
They stood for what felt like an eternity or a fleeting second. Liliana’s thoughts were such a jumble she couldn’t decide which.
When Dax moved, Liliana remembered to breathe, dragging in that cool mountain air she’d come out to claim.
Dax turned her toward him, making her heart thunder against her ribs and her breath hitch in her lungs. Would he kiss her like he had before?
Liliana closed her eyes and lifted her face, ready to accept that kiss and, if things advanced to the next level…so be it.
Dax cupped her cheeks in his palms. “You’re entirely too beautiful, Liliana Lightfeather. Go to sleep before I do something we’ll both regret.” He tipped her face down and pressed his lips to her forehead.
Liliana’s eyes opened, disappointment tightening her chest. “I live by the motto of No Regrets,” she said, lifting her chin.
“Me, too,” he said. “Now, go to bed before we test that motto.”
A hair short of begging him to take her, Liliana drew in a deep breath, turned on her heels and marched back into her bedroom, closing the door behind her with a loud click.
“Lock it,” his voice said through the glass window.
If Liliana had held the hope of him following her through the door, his words threw icy water on the fire in her belly. She turned the deadbolt and shoved a chair up against the knob.
He’d have to break down the door, a chair and her anger at being rejected to get into her room now.
She backed away from the door, deep in her heart half-hoping he would do all those things, storm into her room and make mad, passionate love to her.
Only then would she get this crazy longing out of her mind and body. Then they could get on with business—her with her campaign, him with his protection service.
“Oh, and Liliana?”
She rushed to the door and rested her hand on the chair, ready to move it aside. “Yes?”
“Just so you’re aware, that gown is practically see-through in the starlight. If you wear it down to breakfast, you might want to cover up with a robe.”
Anger flared brighter.
“Thanks,” she said, her tone flat.
Her gown was see-through, and she’d all but offered herself to him, which could only mean he was not as into her as she was into him.
Like a balloon with a slow leak, she sank onto the bed, slipped her legs beneath the covers and laid back on the pillow.
His earlier kiss had only been for practice. It meant no more to him than a stage kiss for the undercover acting they would have to do to convince any onlookers they were truly an engaged couple, happily in love and ready for marriage.
Liliana stared up at the ceiling, shaking her head. “He’s not that into you.”
Why should she care? She didn’t have time in her life for a relationship, even if he was.
Still, it would have been nice to have a fling before getting down to the business of representing her state in congress. Her life wouldn’t be her own once she was voted into the office.
She clenched her fists, her jaw hardening. And she would win the vote if it took visiting every town in the state to get the voters to consider her. She was the better candidate.
Liliana closed her eyes and forced air in and out of her lungs at a slow, steady pace. She would sleep and wake refreshed and ready to tackle another day, despite being rejected by her bodyguard.
He was just her bodyguard.
She needed to remember that and get on with her life.
She must have fallen asleep because the incessant ringing of an alarm jerked her back to consciousness after what felt like a few short minutes since she’d closed her eyes.
Liliana rolled over and hit the stop button on her cell phone alarm to silence the noise.
She closed her eyes and would have fallen back to sleep, but her cell phone vibrated on the nightstand with an incoming call.
Rather than slap the cell phone into the next dimension, she lifted it and answered the call. “Yes?”
“Good morning, sunshine,” Dax’s deep, male voice sounded in her ear, annoyingly cheerful.
“What’s so good about it?” she murmured.
“The sun is shining, there’s no rain in the forecast and you’re alive to face another dynamic day of campaigning.” He paused speaking. “Are you getting up, or do I have to come to get you up?”
She hesitated, the thought of Dax storming into her room more of a temptation than a threat. Hadn’t she decided he was just her bodyguard, not a potential fling?
Drawing in a deep breath, she let it out and responded. “I’m up.”
“Good. I’ll meet you in the hall in five minutes.”
“Five minutes? I can’t get ready in five minutes.”
“Okay, ten. Not a second longer. Get moving, Congresswoman Lightfeather. You have voters to influence. Election day is around the corner.”
She groaned. “I’m moving. I’m moving. See ya in ten.” Tossing the cell phone onto the nightstand, Liliana groaned and lay back against the pillow.
A knock on the wall made her start.
“I’m moving,” she called out and tossed the blankets aside. “Is it too late to get a different bodyguard?” she muttered.
“I heard that,” Dax called out. “And yes. It’s too late.”
Liliana chuckled. Okay, he was a nag and a morning person, but he was nice to look at…as long as she didn’t touch.