Chapter 55
“He’s okay,” I say as the apartment door swings open and Boone waits on the other side.
Kaia shoves him aside and hauls me in. Crosby greets me—Boone’s senior German shepherd he is absolutely, illegally keeping in this apartment.
But the instant my fingers dig into that wiry fur, I take a deep breath and feel my body regulating.
I don’t even speak. I just drop to the floor and let him crawl into my lap.
“Cros—”
“Don’t,” Kaia snaps. “Leave them alone.”
“Are you alright?” are the next words out of Boone’s mouth, and I nod. Physically, I’m fine; emotionally, it's a lie. “I mean, did he hurt you…”
“That’s what the nod was for,” Kaia explains, “can you make her some food?”
“I’m not hungry,” I say.
“Make her food,” she repeats, “please.”
Boone leaves the entrance of the apartment, disappearing into the kitchen and leaving Kaia and me alone in the echoes of Crosby’s metal collar shaking gently as I continue to pet him.
“What happened?” She asks after a few minutes of me staring at the wall with tears streaming down my face. Kaia senses him first, her fingers creeping across the floor as Boone appears in the doorway to listen.
“I thought he was sleepwalking but…” I trail off.
“It’s a dissociative episode,” Boone says quietly.
“He has had one before,” he says, clearing his throat.
Boone tugs at his collar. Kaia and I clock the long scar on his neck.
“Sunday doesn’t know,” he adds quickly. “It was a few weeks after the funeral, and he wouldn’t let me go with him, but I knew the basics.
He was wandering around like a shell of a human, and we got drunk because I thought whiskey would open him up.
Maybe he’d talk to me about it. The bottle hit the floor, and when I looked back up, he was a totally different person.
” Boone’s jaw tightens as he tells the story.
“Are you sure he didn’t hurt you? You can tell us. ”
“He didn’t touch me,” I say without hesitation. “I promise.”
“I’ve never seen that,” Kaia whispers, her eyes flickering from the ink-covered scar to his face.
“It’s not really one I’m proud of,” he grumbles. “I had to punch him to get him out of it.”
“There might have been some shoving,” I admit. “From my end.”
“You couldn’t hurt that brick wall even if you tried. He’ll be fine, just sore in the morning,” Boone brushes it off. “Did he say anything?”
“I’m here, aren’t I?” I sigh.
“That tracks,” Boone huffs.
“Can one of you fill in the gaps here? I feel left out,” Kaia grumbles.
“Brighton’s last tour ended badly; six guys died, three because he couldn’t save them. It fucked him up pretty badly; he doesn’t talk about it. Sunday doesn’t even know. He made me swear complete secrecy, and if you tell her…” Boone says.
“I won’t,” Kaia confirms.
“His buddy took his life yesterday,” Boone swallows.
“It triggered everything for the rest of the day,” I whisper.
“Him punching Lee?” Kaia asks with a small nod. “That explains his lack of control. He's a hot head but he's not a loose cannon.”
“He needs help, Boone,” I say. “Real help.”
“I’ve tried.” He shrugs, “short of dragging him to a nuthouse.”
“Drag him to the nuthouse,” I snap, and Kaia’s expression changes.
“Something else happened…” She leans forward.
“You didn’t see the look on his face, Boone. He’s going to do something stupid. When José called to tell him about Harvey…” I trail off.
“What?” Boone shifts on his feet nervously.
“It was like he was jealous Harvey had the guts to do it.” I choke back another wave of tears. “I’m scared that he might do something stupid.”
Boone reaches across the hallway, pulling his hoodie off the hook.
“There’s pizza in the oven, three more minutes.
Take it out, give it two minutes to set, Kaia Keegan.
” He points at her like he's trying to get ahead of her impatience.
“Sleep here, in the guest room, until I get this figured out.” He looks at me, and I nod as he disappears out the front door.
“What’s he gonna do?” I ask.
“Weird twin shit probably.” She shrugs. Kaia presses her hand to my face. “You’re really brave, Ree,” she whispers. “It’s hard to love people that don’t think they deserve it, and you do it every day.”
“I don’t know if we were in love,” I scoff. “We were still calling each other friends who kiss.”
Kaia tilts her head, “Him, us, yourself. You’ve got the biggest, most selfless heart of us all, and you walk around with it on your sleeve, trusting the world to protect it.” She pinches my cheek.
“You’re being too nice. I’m going to cry. Say something mean,” I give her a half-hearted smile.
“You got your heart broken for some good dick,” she pats my cheek roughly.
“Really good dick,” I pout, and it doesn't make me less sad, but the sting doesn’t feel as bad.
“Let’s burn our tongues on pizza, and you can keep talking.”
I nod and let her pull me off the floor.
Waking up in Boone’s spare room the next morning feels like hell.
The faint reminder of Brighton is there, but it feels so far away, and it only makes it all hurt worse.
The only thing that helps is that Crosby is curled up at the end of the mattress, keeping my feet warm.
I pull back the sheets and force myself to shower, only to spend ten minutes crying while I braid my hair.
We have a game in three hours, and I have a shift at the Hollow later, but I’m not even sure if I’m welcome there, so I cry some more.
“Reaper.” A tiny knock taps the door before Boone opens it. “Sorry, he sleeps with Kaia in here… I couldn’t keep him out.” He pats Crosby as the dog hobbles out into the living room.
“It was nice to have company,” I say softly.
“There’s food out here, and I have an update,” he says, and my heart flinches. I grab my bag and follow him out into the delicious smell of cinnamon buns.
“Was he okay?” I ask as Boone slides a mug of coffee in my direction.
“He’s messed up, but he’s alive. It was a long night,” he explains.
“Did he say anything?” I ask, pulling off a piece of the bun. It’s warm and melts on my tongue, and it hits me—Boone came home and baked instead of sleeping. I scowl at him gently, worried about both twins now instead of just one.
“No,” Boone sighs, “avoided the topic. By the time I got there, the bathroom door was in the dumpster downstairs, and the apartment was immaculate. He was in bed like nothing happened, Reaper.”
“Bastard.” I shake my head. “Please believe me,” my voice gets shaky.
“I do.” He assures me, “Bri and I are pretty opposite, but I know my brother down to the blood in his veins, and something is off. I’ll keep my eye on him.”
“Keep both,” I warn, and he nods with a small smile.
“Rhea,” Boone says as I start to clean up to get out the door. I stop at the sound of my name. “He needs you too, you know that, right?”
Doesn’t really feel like he does.
“Questionable,” I say.
“My brother is a creature of habit. He gets up, he makes breakfast, he does admin, he takes Daisy to school and on the days he doesn’t have her, makes her lunch and brings it to her before the bell rings.
” Boone explains, rolling his fingers through the air, listing it like it’s engraved into him, “he comes back, cleans the Hollow, opens it for lunch. Closes it, preps for the evening, rugby on a rotating schedule. Then he closes the front doors, goes upstairs, showers, does one load of laundry, and goes to bed.”
I swallow tightly. Not a moment out of place.
“He’s up by six am every morning, and in bed by two thirty. It’s been that way since he returned home; nothing has ever changed.” He stares at me. “Until you. School dances, new drink menus, bowling, sleeping in.”
The tears are threatening to return.
“You take care of him, just as much as he takes care of you.”
Kaia’s a snitch.
I nod, “I think this time it’s out of my capabilities, Boone.”
“He wants you to believe that so you don’t go through the trouble,” he responds. “So keep making a mess.”
The hit I take is brutal. I collide with the ground like a bag of bricks, and my head gets fuzzy as I roll to my stomach to collect myself. Blood drips from my forehead into my eye.
“You have to sub out,” Cosy says, looking at it. “Bring in Jessie,” she waves to the sidelines.
Fuck. Nothing today is going right.
I want to be home, in bed, with Brighton.
Stupid.
I kick the grass and meet the medical girl halfway so she can take a look at it as I watch Sunday play tag with a few of the other attackers until she finds a lane. We’re up four tries. It should feel comforting, but everything is out of whack, and nothing feels safe anymore.
The bruises forming on my knees from earlier are nasty against my pale skin, and my head is still a little dizzy from the tackle.
I need a hot bath. I wish I could say that my head was in the game, but it’s not.
I still have a shift to work at the Hollow, and Boone convinced me I was still employed, but something about it felt strained.
Kaia stops before the whistle blows, and I follow her eyeline to where Boone is coming across the base of the stone bleachers. She looks at me as I stand.
Something’s wrong.
When it does finally echo through the air, I move past the celebration huddle toward Boone.
“What happened?” I ask him before he even opens his mouth.
“He’s gone.” Boone’s shrug looks wrong on him.
“What do you mean he’s gone?” My voice trembles as more than one emotion bubbles up. Fear, anger, abandonment.
“Riona called me, losing her mind because he sent her some text saying to keep Daisy safe and he’ll be back as soon as he can.” Boone shakes his head and looks over my shoulder at the girls standing and watching. “Now, when I call his phone, it goes to voicemail.”
“Okay— uh, there’s a list in the top drawer of the kitchen cupboard, beside the fridge. It has a few numbers on it that I’m pretty sure are guys from group. Call them.”
“Rhea,” he says, reaching out.
“Just go,” I snap—then wince. “I’m sorry. Call them, thank you.”
Boone nods and starts back toward the parking lot.
“Everything okay?” Kaia asks as I turn and storm back across the field. I need a cold shower and to strangle a grown man with my bare hands.
“It’s chill.” I slam through the locker room door and ignored them chasing after me.