15- Landon Breaker Mercer
“Boss man?” Titan called my name as I stared out of the car window.
“I’m good.” I could feel him staring at me through the rearview mirror, but I continued to focus my glare outside.
Da Bab. I hadn’t been home in years, and I wasn’t sure if I should be here now.
We had been sitting on my old block for about twenty minutes now.
The car was still running, and I hadn’t moved a muscle.
I had no idea what I was waiting on, but I had yet to get out.
Maybe if I sat here long enough, I would realize this was a dumb ass idea.
This nigga didn’t have the right to talk to me, and I didn’t owe him closure.
Yet, I still hadn’t told him to pull off. Something kept me sitting here.
“It’s starting to get active, Boss.” I knew Titan was worried about my safety. Finally getting up the nerves, I stepped out. Pulling my cap down as far as it could go, I began making my way towards the house. I saw Titan moving with me, but I stopped him.
“I’m straight.”
“You sure?” I nodded as I looked around.
Everything was different, but the same. They had thew up some new apartments, but nothing changed.
Same patchy grass. Jits serving on the block, and raggedy ass houses that needed to be knocked down.
My house. Taking a deep breath, I pulled my hoodie over my head and began walking towards my porch.
Some lil jits came running past, and for a second, I could remember my lil ass doing the same thing.
Just a kid having fun, until Raymond felt I had too much.
I looked at the siding on our house, and the dent was still there from where he tossed me.
Shaking off the memory, I climbed the porch.
The cracks in the concrete that probably still had my blood tracing them, have yet to be filled.
Each step held a memory I tried to forget.
My heart was beating fast as fuck, but it wasn’t like yesterday.
I could breathe, and I could move, but I didn’t want to.
I didn’t want to move the welcome mat because I knew if the key was still there, I had to walk through that door.
Letting out another breath, I looked underneath and there it was.
Putting it in the lock, I turned it and walked inside.
Same dirty ass smell. Old grease, cigarettes, and a faint smell of air freshener.
Walking through the hallway, I looked at the pictures on the wall.
You would think we were a happy family from the lies the pics told.
When I rounded the corner, the tv was on, but nobody was in the living room watching it.
The house looked exactly the same. Ripped leather couch with tape on it.
Wooden coffee table with only an ash tray on top.
“Ma.” Since I didn’t get an answer, I Continued on to my parent’s bedroom.
Moms was lying on her back staring at the ceiling. Her eyes looked as if they were rolling in the back of her head. She was high as always. Shaking my head, I made my way over to her. I stood there for a minute just looking at her frail ass body. Leaning down, I kissed her on the forehead.
Ma.” Her head slightly turned, but her ass was on cloud nine. I looked around the room, and ain’t shit in here changed either. Sitting on the side of the bed, I tried to catch my breath.
“Landon, you came back.” Turning to look at her, I grabbed her hand.
“Yeah, ma. I came back.” She said that shit like this was my first time back home.
When I was younger, I used to wonder why she never saved me from Raymond, but when I got older, I realized she couldn’t.
My mama was always high out of her mind.
How the fuck was she gone save me, when she couldn’t save herself?
After my first fight, I came back for her.
Even bought her house. For a week straight, she left every day and came back here.
Told me she didn’t want to leave, and I needed to accept she was happy where she was. So, I did.
Grabbing my hand, she squeezed it and seconds later, it dropped.
Looking back at her, could tell her ass was no longer in the room.
She was higher than giraffe’s pussy. My chest tightened some more and the room seemed to be getting smaller.
This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come, and I was about to get the fuck out of here.
Standing up, I kissed her again before heading out.
I moved quickly out her room door and into the hallway when I heard a door open behind me.
“You came back.” Of course he was here. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath before turning to face him. His face was still swollen from last night, but he seemed to be unphased by it.
“You wanted to talk, so talk.” Raymond moved towards the living room then took a seat on the couch. Grabbing a cigarette, he lit one.
“You can sit down,” he said motioning his head towards the raggedy ass recliner.
“I’m good.”
“Boy-…” I tilted my head and looked at him. Raymond chuckled as if he thought this shit was a game. “Suit yourself.”
“What the fuck do you want, Raymond?”
“I wanted to talk to you.” This was a waste of my time and my patience was starting to run thin. I wanted to get out of here, and this nigga was stalling.
“About?”
“I see you won the belt your last fight. I knew my son could do it. You’re doing real good for yourself. You always could fight.” I half scoffed, and half laughed.
“Naw, I actually couldn’t.”
“Well, you learned. The way you did that boy-…”
“Raymond, why am I here?”
“I ummm. We need your help.” I should have fucking known.
“How much?” His eyes got big as if he didn’t expect me to say that.
“About twenty thousand. That’s all, son.” I looked at him and laughed. I mean I actually laughed hard. He looked at me as if he didn’t understand my reaction.
“What the fuck is funny?”
“You nigga!”
“Landon, I’m serious. I’m in a bad way and I need the money.”
“I know you’re serious, and that’s what make the shit funny.” His face hardened.
“I’m your fucking father!”
“No, you’re Raymond. Devin is my father. If that’s all you wanted, we’re done here.” I was still laughing to myself when I moved to get ready and leave.
“You owe me!” The laughing stopped. I tried to process what I just heard, but I knew I had to be wrong.
“What the fuck you just say to me?”
“I said, you owe me.” He had a smug look on his face, while mine bore disbelief.
“Humor me. What is it that I owe you for, Raymond?”
“I made you who you are. All those ass whoopings pushed you. Now, look. Heavyweight champ, a celebrity. I did that, and you owe me.” I stared at him trying to see if he was serious.
This nigga didn’t crack a smile. I couldn’t speak.
Not because I was scared, but because something clicked.
This nigga really believed that, and now that I’m thinking about it, maybe I did too on some level.
Not that I gave him credit, but every time shit got hard my mind went here.
When I’m in the ring and I’m against the ropes, I thought about Raymond and what he took me through.
I’ve been inadvertently giving him too much power.
It was the reason I created Breaker. Landon was the lil jit that was scared to fight back.
Scared to stand against his demons. Breaker was indestructible, fearless, and willing to look anybody in the eye who say they want it with me.
Until this moment. Until Raymond tried to take credit for who I became, I hadn’t realized it was me all along.
Raymond taught me how to take a hit, Devin taught me how to fight back, but I taught myself how to fight.
A smile crept up my face as I shook my head.
“What?”
“She was right.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Don’t even worry about it.” Looking around the house, the same stuff I saw coming in gave me a different feeling.
Same couch, same table, same old nigga sitting in this mufucka.
He hadn’t grown, hadn’t changed, he only got older.
Raymond was no giant. Just a bum ass nigga asking me for twenty thousand dollars.
I started walking to leave again. It was nothing left for me here.
“You wouldn’t be Breaker if it wasn’t for me. You don’t feel you owe me something?”
“You’re right. I wouldn’t be.” I could tell me admitting that shocked him. “But you didn’t make Breaker, I did. You be good my nigga.” I started walking again.
“You’re an ungrateful mufucka,” he threw out at my back.
“Maybe I’ll go find that pretty lil thing from last night.
” This time, I stopped and turned around.
A smile crept up his face. He was trying to push my buttons.
“I can make me a new champion. It looks like she can take a hit.” Charging back over to him, I grabbed him up so fast, he didn’t have time to react.
Slamming his body hard into the coffee table, I pinned him down.
Raymond covered his face when I raised my hand, but something stopped me.
Seeing him scared shifted something in me.
My whole life, his voice alone terrified me.
This same table he was lying on shaking, I’ve crawled under it to hide from his hits.
All my life, this nigga was the monster in my closet that crept out in my dreams, was on the floor, scared of me.
I could have ended it all right here, but instead, I lowered my fist. Standing up, I shook my head at him.
“Do it, Landon. Beat on your father.”
“You not worth it.” His ass started laughing like he thought shit was sweet.
“Don’t get shit twisted though. I’m only sparing you because you mean absolutely nothing to me, but if you go anywhere near her, I will kill you dead.
Bum ass can’t even beg right. Talking about some twenty thousand and I’m worth millions.
” No longer waiting around for him to push me past my limit, I walked out.
Once I stepped outside, I looked up at the sky and exhaled a breath that felt like I had been holding forever.
Sitting down on the porch, I sent Devin a text.
Titan walked over to me and looked me over.
“Boss man?”
“I’m good.” This time when I said it, I meant it.