Chapter 32
Trevor
“Ah, fuck,” Isaac groans, his hand holding my head in place as he pushes back against my tongue. “You keep that up and I’m gonna come.”
“Isn’t that kind of the point?”
He huffs. “Not until…after. I want…to watch you and—ah.”
Isaac swats my head a couple times. I give him one more long lick before kissing his ass cheek and sitting back on my heels.
His other hand is planted against the door of the private room we’re in within the studio, his pants around his heels.
I trail my fingers along his thigh, back over his ass, spread his cheeks again so I can see his hole.
A thunk sounds from above me, Isaac’s forehead hitting the wood. “Appreciating your handiwork?”
I smirk. “You look so pretty when you’re desperate.”
He chokes out a sound. “Me or my asshole?”
“Both,” I answer, grabbing the plug Isaac picked out. He lets out a groan as I slip it inside his perfectly tongue-fucked hole. “Are you ready for this?”
He turns around, expression serious as he tugs up his pants. “Yeah, Trevor. I am.”
“If you change your mind at any time—”
“Then I fire off a text to one of the assistants and he stops the scene. I know.”
I let loose a breath. A laptop is already set up on the coffee table behind me, which will display a live feed of the recording inside Studio 1. Everything has been planned to a tee. “And you’re sure you want to watch from here?”
Isaac holds out a hand, helping me to stand and then tugging me over to the couch.
He shoves me down and climbs onto my lap, a small grin on his face.
“I’m sure. If I’m in that room, we both know you’re going to be looking at me instead of Cade, and you need to focus on your scene. I’ll be fine until you return to me.”
I let my eyes slip shut as Isaac brushes his mouth against mine, the kiss both soft and biting. His hands trail over my pecs, down my stomach, stopping to unzip my pants.
“Now, you’re going to get hard for me,” he whispers, his hand wrapping around my cock.
“You’re going to go inside that studio space you set up from scratch.
You’re going to fuck that perfectly nice man with the pet parrot he likes to talk about.
And I’ll be here, watching every minute of it, trying my best not to come before you get back to me. ”
“I love you,” I tell him roughly.
Isaac’s laugh is joyous, a bright smile on his face as he continues to stroke me slowly. “I know you love me. You’re obsessed with me.”
“I am,” I readily agree.
He bites my jaw and then my neck. “I love you, too, Bruiser. So get in there and show off for me.”
I find Isaac’s lips one more time, my grip on the back of his neck keeping him close. We kiss for long minutes, my hand stopping Isaac’s so I don’t get too close to the edge. When we finally pull apart, Isaac carefully maneuvers me back into my pants, shaking his head a little.
“Surprised you don’t need a tailor for custom crotch adjustments with this thing.”
I bark a laugh that has Isaac grinning. His excitement is palpable as he tugs me off the couch, giving me a gentle shove toward the door.
“Rail him good,” he says in parting, his cheeks gorgeously flushed. He shoots me a quick thumbs-up and an air kiss before disappearing back inside the private room.
I can’t help but huff a laugh.
Turning, I catch sight of Jerome down the hall, waiting near the door to Studio 1. His eyebrow is raised. “You’ve got a really supportive partner.”
“Yeah, I do. Everything all set inside?”
“It is,” he confirms. “Bill is checking the camera angles one more time. Lighting is good. We should be ready to start filming in a few minutes.”
I nod, glancing around at the bare-bones warehouse we’ve slowly been turning into a real studio. There’s so much space to expand, assuming things go well. It’s easy to see what it could be.
“I want to keep this authentic,” I tell Jerome.
“It’s fantasy, yes. But I don’t want to be like any other studio.
I want to show prep, condoms. I want people to see realistic sex.
And I want the cast to have a say. They only film what they’re comfortable with.
The people in these walls? They stay safe.
Healthcare, regular testing. We treat the people here with respect. Always. Yeah?”
Jerome’s smile is slow-spreading. “You got it, boss.”
“And that’s another thing. I need someone looking after the people so I can focus on the business. You think that could be you?”
Jerome crosses his arms, appraising me. I’ve spent a good deal of time with Jerome in the months leading up to this point. Enough to get a feel for the type of person he is. I can tell he’s been holding back a lot of his own natural leadership in deference to me. And I understand why.
But I could use a partner in this. I think that’s him.
Jerome’s gaze is steady as he holds my eye. “We’ll need to sit down and draw up a division of duties so I’m not crossing lines. But yeah. That’s something I can handle.”
I clap him on the shoulder. “Let’s do this then.”
Jerome and I join the others inside Studio 1, the set brightly lit and my co-star for the day sitting atop the bed. Bill is rolling the camera into place. A couple assistants are checking over final details. The boom operator is waiting nearby.
It’s simple, all things considered. But it’s a damn good start.
I check in with Cade to make sure he’s ready to go, my thoughts straying to Isaac just down the hall. Glancing at the camera now rolling, I give my boyfriend a soft smile.
Porn, like acting, isn’t real life. The sex isn’t passionate. More often than not, your mind is on the optics, not how it feels. And it takes hours to shoot the necessary footage, including stops along the way to reset a scene or work out kinks.
It’s a carefully organized production.
I think of Isaac often as we film, wondering if he’s touching himself. Wondering if he likes watching all the content that will be edited out. Wondering how badly he’s aching for my return.
At the very least, I trust he’s okay. Otherwise, the camera wouldn’t still be rolling.
When we have all the footage we need and it’s time to capture the finale, I do my best to put on a good show for my boyfriend.
It feels a little surreal as we cut, everyone silent for a moment before one of the assistants starts to clap.
It causes a ripple through the crew, these people just as eager as I am to make this something lasting and good.
Cade and I shake hands before heading for the locker room.
My shower is quite possibly the quickest I’ve ever had.
My hair is still dripping when I hasten down the hall toward the private rooms. I open the door to one in particular, my eyes finding Isaac immediately. He’s lying on the couch, stark naked, his hand around his cock and his legs spread, giving me a view of the plug still in his ass.
My breath stutters at the sight of him, my voice coming out hoarse. “Okay?”
Isaac’s chest rises and falls, a blush covering his skin from his cheeks to his chest down to his cock. “Was it as good as me?”
My pulse flits, the way Isaac is looking at me leaving no doubt his jealousy is feigned. I stalk his way. “What do you think, brat?”
“I think my ass is the best you’ll ever have.”
I place one knee on the couch, spreading Isaac’s leg further to the side and giving the toy a pull. Isaac sucks in a breath, his hand stilling on his cock. His exhale puffs out when I tug the plug free, replacing it with my fingers.
“Fuck.”
“No one could compare to this,” I tell him honestly, pressing my fingers in deep. Isaac’s back arches, his hand scrambling at the couch. “No one will ever make me feel the way you do.”
“Tell me.”
I lean down to feather kisses over Isaac’s thigh, pushing his hand off his cock so I can kiss that, too. Isaac spears his fingers into my hair, tugging me down on him as he fucks up into my mouth.
I pull off in a slow drag. “You’re intoxicating.”
He nods, spurring me on.
“I could spend my life tasting you, and it’d never be enough. My heart, my desires, my love all belong to you.”
“Why?” Isaac asks, the sound nearly a sob as I pull my fingers free. I hastily shove off my clothes and grab a condom from the table, rolling it on, followed by lube. Isaac keens when I press into his body.
I wrap myself around him, the two of us barely fitting on the couch. He stares up at me with blazing blue eyes, flickers in his irises like dancing flames.
“Because, my brat. With you, I am home.”
Isaac’s arms loop around my shoulders as I drop my face to his neck. I find a freckle I know lives there, running my tongue over it as I start to roll my hips. Isaac moans, his heels tugging against my ass.
For endless minutes, he pants below me, murmured words asking for more and like that and hard enough I’ll feel it tomorrow, you Bruiser. Isaac’s body is soft around me, demanding everything I’m so willing to give.
If I ever needed proof that emotion impacts sex, I’d have it right here. Having gone from a scene that felt more clinical than anything, where I had to encourage myself at times to stay in the game, to…this? Where the man I’m hopelessly in love with is falling apart at my fingertips?
There’s no comparison.
Isaac draws in a startled breath when I guide one of his legs up toward his body, moving it from one side of my hips to the other.
He gasps as I spin him onto his side, the two of us never parting.
Hooking my arm under his knee, I keep him held open and snap my hips, my body weight pressing him down into the couch.
“Jesus fuck,” Isaac groans, his position one that could almost be mistaken for sleep. Almost. “Ah, hell. Trevor.”
“Can you feel it?” I ask.
“Your dick pegging my kidney? Yes, I can.”
I huff an amused breath. “Not that. Can you feel it, Red?”
Isaac cranes his neck to meet my eye, his mouth parted as I grind against him. His voice is barely there. “What?”
I trail a hand down his back, fingertips skipping over freckles and smooth skin. This man who trusts me. Who once tried so hard to stay away but who now looks to me when he’s scared or happy or sad. He believes in us the way I do. In our future. In fighting for what we’ve found.
What is it I feel when I think about all that? When I see him?
The answer is simple. “Peace.”
Isaac pulls in a shuddering breath. “Kiss me.”
I lean down, fitting my lips to his, smiling against the rush of affection I feel deep within my chest. Isaac inhales sharply when I wrap my hand around his cock, his groan following. Our lips break apart as I work him over, Isaac curling in on himself.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck,” he mutters, clamping down on me hard.
When Isaac comes, he tugs me forcefully after him. It’s a kick in my gut. An overflowing wave of relief and love and pleasure that spreads through me like fire, Isaac the epicenter. He stutters out his own relief, both of us catching our breaths as we rest intertwined.
Eventually, I have to slip away to take care of the condom. Isaac lies still until I return, curling around him once again. My nose rests in his hair, Isaac’s breathing calm as his fingers trail over the arm I have slung around his middle.
His voice, when he speaks, is quiet. “Was it okay for you, Trevor?”
I understand he’s asking about the scene. It was a first for us, even though this moment is one we’ve been moving toward for a long time. “It felt fine,” I assure him. “But it wasn’t this.”
He nods. “You were beautiful.”
My smile radiates outward. “Did you enjoy watching?”
“So much. I know it probably makes no sense, but I loved watching you with him. The way you moved, the way you looked, how you sounded. It made me desperate to have you back here with me.”
I kiss his cheekbone, his skin warm. “It doesn’t have to make sense to other people. Only us.”
“I know.”
“You’ll tell me if your feelings about it change?”
“I promise,” he answers. “And you’ll only do it as long as you feel comfortable.”
“Promise.”
He nods, his head rolling slowly against the couch. I kiss a freckle on his ear. Another on his shoulder. His arm.
“One day soon,” I say, an echo of words I gave him long ago, “I’ll have tasted every freckle on your skin. I’ll ask you then if I’ve given you any reason to regret putting your trust in me.”
Isaac’s hand tightens around my wrist as I press my lips to his neck.
“Do you regret it, Red? Trusting me?”
He lets out a slow breath, turning enough for me to see his face clearly. The sea on his cheeks. The freckles like islands I want to skip across. The cupid bow lips and haloed blue irises I set eyes on for the first time just earlier this year. “I never will.”
I kiss him slowly, his lips a confirmation to his spoken promise. I remember meeting him beside a stack of cassette tapes. This fiery man I so longed to know.
I’ll never regret him, either.
We stay inside the private room for some time before reluctantly cleaning up and collecting our things. As we leave hand in hand, we pass a contractor in the entryway hanging a sign in neon-tube lettering.
Isaac’s lips quirk as he reads it. “Elite 8 Studios.”
“What can I say? You inspire me.”
The name came from the cheeky slogan Isaac spouted offhand for my once-theoretical business. Elite cocks for the everyday.
He raises a brow. “Eight inches, though? There you go again, being modest.”
“Eight inches is quite large.”
“Uh-huh. So what would you call yourself?”
I try to hide my smile. “Better than average?”
Isaac laughs loudly, his hair shining bright red under the sun as we step outside. His smile is wide, his eyes happy, and I’m overcome. Every piece of me, caught in flames.
There’s a reason poets try to name the impossible.
L-O-V-E doesn’t seem like nearly enough.