Chapter 2 - Tyler
Tugging on my tie and loosening it from my collar, I feel like I can breathe again and appreciate the view of the setting sun on the horizon, casting a warm, soft orange glow over the pack's territory.
Portland.
Home to the Moonshine Pack, where I rule as the alpha.
A despondent sigh escapes my lips, my shoulders slouching as the weight of my authority burdens my being. I've barely had a moment to breathe since I retired from black ops and returned to Portland, since I'd been sprung into alpha duties the moment I set foot on Moonshine soil.
Father was adamant that it was time for me to take over, allowing him to retire earlier than expected. While I thought I might have some time to breathe before taking up the mantle of leader of Moonshine, I'd been wrong.
All I have is this moment right here, watching the sunset warm the gloomy town of Portland and bring with it a sense of hope.
Today was somewhat of a respite when I visited the coastal town of Nightmist, home to my good friend Dominic Rivera from black ops.
He'd married his true mate—an omega werewolf from the Lunaris Pack, where he reigns as their alpha—in a wedding ceremony that was fit for a werewolf and a human alike.
I smile at the thought of seeing my friend happy today, knowing how cold and stoic he'd been all those years while in our squad.
Something was missing in his life, a piece of his puzzle that left him feeling incomplete.
I recognized what was missing when I visited him during the alpha ranking trials of his pack—a gruesome test of the pack members' capabilities to determine who their next alpha would be—and I saw the way he stared at his partner.
She was the missing piece of his puzzle, despite being the omega of his pack. He soon realized it, too, and claimed her as his mate after some prompting from me.
Another sigh escapes my lips as I find myself walking to the window, placing a flattened palm on the cold glass as I look out over the Moonshine territory. On the outside, it seems like I have everything I could ever want, but deep down, I know that something is missing from my life, too.
I can't help but feel a pang in my chest where that missing piece of my own puzzle leaves a gaping hole, one that cannot be filled, no matter how much I've gained.
Perhaps a break was needed when I returned from black ops, but it was a luxury that wasn't mine to have, even if I'd been looking forward to it.
It's not like it matters. She's gone.
My inner wolf's reminder has me curling my fists into balls of fury that surface from deep within my being. I know I only have myself to blame for her not being here when I returned, but it's something my inner wolf can't seem to come to grips with.
“Alpha Tyler, we're waiting for you in the pack den,” comes my beta's voice, snapping me out of my depressed daze and jolting me back to my duties.
I take a deep breath to reinstate my sturdiness, my determination to show up as a capable alpha, removing all other thoughts from my mind.
That's what I set out to do from the very beginning. That's all that matters, and it's why I hurt her in the first place. It was to do just this—be the alpha of this pack and ensure that everyone is safe.
Even if she's somewhere out there where I can't protect her anymore.
It's not my concern anymore. She made her choices, and now I'm left to make mine, like fulfilling my duties as the alpha of this pack by meeting with my border patrol wolves and checking that our borders are secure and free of any outside threats.
Lord knows I've seen enough horrors out there during my black ops missions to keep me restless at night, worrying that we're never truly safe from the likes of other supernatural creatures that pose a threat to our kind.
It's imperative to keep the Moonshine Pack safe, so I leave my study in my rather bleak-feeling house and head to the pack den, passing by the graveyard on my way there. Retreating into my cold, stoic demeanor will allow me to go through this meeting like the capable leader I’ve become, the chill icing over the piece of me that feels like it's missing.
***
Returning home for the night after the meeting, I'm grateful for the sound of the door slamming behind me.
But my relief is short-lived when the bell rings to signal that I can't catch a break just yet. Rolling my eyes, I throw open the front door again, freezing when I see both my parents standing on my front porch.
“Tyler, my boy!” Father chirps as he steps up and pats my shoulder. The ex-alpha of Moonshine is still a strong man whose friendly touch makes me flinch.
I chuckle to hide my displeasure, but smile warmly when my mother steps forward and hugs me.
“I didn't know you were back from Dominic's wedding so soon,” Mother says as she steps back.
“I had to come back, Mother,” I reply as I offer to take the basket from her hands. “I'd scheduled a meeting with the border patrol earlier this evening. We had to move around some rotations.”
“Ah, so you're taking your duties very seriously, I see,” Father remarks as he goes to my liquor cabinet in the dining room. He helps himself to a glass of rum and offers to pour me one.
“Sure,” I relent with a sigh as Mother proceeds to the kitchen. It isn't unusual for my parents to visit for dinner and make themselves at home in my house, and I wouldn't mind if I weren't so exhausted.
Perhaps sharing a drink with the ex-alpha is exactly what I need to loosen up a bit, so he can remind me how he tirelessly ruled over the pack and valued perfection.
I tell him how the meeting with the border patrol went, and he tells me how those types of meetings are meant to be the easiest when there aren't any real threats on the border.
“So, tell me…” Father continues to sip his drink, glancing over my shoulder at my mother, who uses the microwave to warm the food. “How was this mating ritual between your friend and his mate? I don't suppose it went well with his pack, considering that she's the lowest in the Lunaris hierarchy.”
I gulp down the rest of my drink, willing myself to remain neutral.
Here we go again, my inner wolf laments with a snide, sarcastic grimace in my head.
“The Lunaris Pack seemed to take it well, even though Dominic's mate is half human,” I remind my father as I straighten up. “She proved herself to be a capable werewolf despite her predetermined disadvantages, and all that matters is that Dominic is happy. His pack rejoiced in that news.”
Father nods thoughtfully as he refills my glass before doing the same with his.
“Perhaps Lunaris might take something like this lightly, but it's different for Moonshine.” He turns to face me, and I know where he's going with this.
“Your mother was a beta's daughter, high up in the Moonshine hierarchy.
Her status made her a fitting candidate for the luna of this pack, and it's why I chose her.”
Frowning, I feel the sudden urge to press him about something that's been bothering me. “Was Mother your true mate, Father?”
Father pauses from taking a sip of his drink, meeting my eyes with a pained expression that leaves me confused.
“No such thing exists, son,” he scoffs and shakes his head, taking a bitter sip of his rum. “It's a myth, and Moonshine doesn't experience such things.”
I frown as I stare at my father, wondering why he's so dismissive of the true mate bond.
“But—”
Father cuts me off by setting his empty glass down with a deliberate clink.
“There are no ‘buts’ when it comes to something as important as picking a mate fit to be this pack's luna,” he grouches as he turns to me fully. Just then, Mother appears behind him, her eyes twinkling with agreement.
“You will have to pick a mate from the high-ranking she-wolves,” Mother adds. “The pack awaits your decision.”
“I only just stepped into my position, Mother. I need some time.”
“Time?” Father scoffs with a bitter chuckle. “You've already been alpha for two months, Tyler. The council cannot be patient any longer.”
Though I knew this was bound to follow when I became the alpha, the reminder that I need to pick a mate so soon makes me jittery.
How could I possibly pick a mate when I've experienced the true mate bond with a she-wolf who's forbidden to me?
A she-wolf who'd since left the Moonshine Pack after I left for black ops four years ago…
Both my parents stare at me expectantly, and I sense that their visit isn’t a casual one. It was planned, like an intervention, since I’ve been avoiding the mate bond clause that comes with being the alpha of this pack.
Groaning in recognition, I sense no consideration for what I've already requested—to change the law that declares an alpha needs a mate to rule the pack. I'd rather do away with the rule altogether, but it's evident that this is non-negotiable.
My parents still have to answer to the council that demands I take a mate to rule as alpha.
Feeling overwhelmed and powerless despite my position of authority, I sigh despondently and feel the weight of my burdens crushing my shoulders as I turn to leave my own house.
The walls feel stifling, my parents’ expectations choking me to the point that I can't even hear them calling after me as I exit through the front door.
As soon as the cool fall air whips across my cheeks, I flash into wolf form, my inner wolf too heated by the overload I've been carrying to remain confined.
I rush forward, needing to work off all this pent-up energy by racing through the forest as fast as my wolf paws can carry me.
I'm exhausted, but I'm fueled by my need to get away for some fresh air.
Every thunderous stomp through the forest takes me further from the main area, but it also allows me to clear my mind and have a moment to breathe.
I haven't had much of that luxury since returning to Portland, and every second counts.
I'm grateful for each breath I take. But the further into the woods I drift, the harder it is to get one thing out of my mind.
My parents’ insistence that I need to pick a mate.
I know it's a key element in being the alpha of this pack, but there's no way I can simply pick a she-wolf as a mate as if I'm choosing clothes for the next day. It isn't as simple, and I'd rather forego the mate bond altogether.
What's the point, anyway?
It's because you know who your true mate is, my inner wolf reminds me, and the thought slows down my steps as I reach the Portland border.
It's not like it would make any difference. She would never have been accepted as my mate. Yet, I can't seem to stop thinking about her, even though she's no longer in Portland.
Still, I find my mind going back to the thoughts of her that were interrupted when I was pulled back to my duties earlier tonight.
Gazing at the navy-blue sky, I focus on a pair of stars that suddenly morph into the calmest set of warm, hazel eyes that stare back at me.
Just a figment of my imagination, my wolf vision seems to amplify the memory of her eyes staring back at me, and my heart skips a beat that's long enough to recall the last time I saw her.
Just then, Brutus, my beta, comes trotting toward me from the border where he'd been keeping watch tonight.
“Alpha Tyler.” He bows his wolf head as he approaches, speaking through the mind link we share. His telepathic voice is clear and distinct, not echoing the way it would have if he'd been communicating with all our members.
Nodding in recognition of the private communication, I ask him, “Have you found anything?”
Brutus shakes his head, his beady wolf eyes full of remorse. “Unfortunately, no. She's missing without a trace, Alpha.”
I blow out an agitated breath through my wolf nostrils as I keep my eyes fixed on the pair of stars I'd been focused on.
Though she'd never be accepted as my mate in Moonshine, I thought I'd return from black ops and find her here. Her absence is a gnarly sting that won't go away, and it's been causing restless, sleepless nights spent tossing and turning, wondering where she could be.
Wondering if she's safe out there. What more could I possibly want for my true mate, except her safety? She might be forbidden to me within the construct of pack laws, but that doesn't mean I don't care.
It's why I asked Brutus to find out where she was the moment I realized she'd fled the Moonshine Pack.
I wish I'd done things differently. I wish things could be different. But it appears that it's too late, and I have to make peace with it.
“Thanks, Brutus. I'd like to be left alone now,” I tell my beta, closing my eyes as he takes the instruction and leaves. The heaviness sets in, full of the regret I've been carrying for the past four years. There's nothing I can do now but accept that my true mate is gone for good.
It's just that a piece of my puzzle will forever be missing.