Chapter 5 - Arianna
“Where going, Mama?” Noah asks when we're halfway through the woods on the east side of Salem.
It's the first time he's spoken since we left Salem, the trauma of seeing our cottage upturned keeping him stunned as we packed only a few belongings before leaving.
Though I'm grateful that he's speaking again, and I notice that the color has returned to his face, I’m too exhausted to give him my full attention while we walk. Slowing down with a sigh, I know it's pointless to keep walking on my human feet while I have to carry Noah.
“We're going somewhere safe,” I tell Noah as I gently place him on his feet and crouch in front of him to sweep the dark tresses of hair from his face.
Cradling his cheeks, I take a deep breath to strengthen my resolve for what I'm about to do.
“There's something I'm going to tell you, but you have to promise not to be scared, okay?”
Noah frowns, but nods timidly as he stares at me expectantly, prompting me to continue.
“I'm not…” I pause to correct my statement. “We're not like other people, Noah-kins. We're a little different.”
Noah tilts his head to one side. “How?”
“You have to promise me that you won't be scared.” I straighten up and take a step back.
I've been putting this off for too long, believing that I had time before having to explain to my son that we have the ability to shape-shift.
I knew that when he reached the age of five, he would begin feeling his inner wolf and would begin asking me questions.
But now that we're going to Portland, I can't make the journey in human form any longer.
My only consolation about returning to Portland is that Noah's father isn't there. He'd left to join a special mission team four years ago, and he's probably still out there.
For all I know, he suffered the same fate as his older brother, who would have been the pack's alpha if he hadn't died.
And you would still be in Portland if he hadn't rejected you…
I shake my head to dismiss the thought, putting all of my attention into what I'm about to do. This is a pivotal moment for my son, and I shouldn't be distracted by the memory of his father.
I thought he was my true mate, but my inner wolf was sorely mistaken, just infatuated by the idea of giving up my virtue to the man I thought I loved.
That love has since turned to hatred. The only reason I'm going back is to protect my son, following my inner wolf's advice and hoping to the Goddess it isn't wrong again.
“I pwomise!” Noah nods bravely as he plants his hands on his hips, looking so determined despite his size that I can't help but giggle. I lean down and plant a kiss on the top of his head before stepping back to a safe distance.
“Now, I'm going to turn into a very large animal. I'm gonna need you to climb onto my back and grab my fur, so we can continue our journey. Got it?”
Noah nods.
“I'll explain everything to you when we're safe, okay?”
Noah nods again, and this time I close my eyes, my son's brave face etched behind my eyelids and fueling my resolve to go through with the shift.
My bones crack, but it isn't as painful as it was earlier tonight, my limbs growing out as fur erupts from my pores and spreads across my body.
When I open my eyes, Noah is staring at me with his jaw dropped, his eyes wide and sparkly as he steps forward.
In awe, he reaches out and touches my furry cheek, a gasp slipping from his lips.
“Mama…” he whispers with admiration, and I nod my wolf head to encourage him to climb onto my back.
As I lower myself to the ground and wait for him to hop on, I realize that I had nothing to fear when it came to revealing the truth to my son.
My wolf lips tug with a smile as he grabs tiny fistfuls of my fur when he's on my back, fueling my strength to run through the woods and take us toward Portland.
I can feel Noah's heart pounding in his chest, the vibrations pattering through my own heart and coursing through my veins, making me aware of the connection between us that can only be felt in my wolf form.
It drives my every step to get closer to safety, to get to Portland, where I know he'll be protected.
We both will be from whatever it is that chases me in my dreams and destroyed our home in Salem.
As we approach Forest Park, the large enclosure of tightly-wound trees growing in Portland, I slow down and trot forward, a wave of relief washing over me. We weren't followed, and now that we're close to the Moonshine territory, I'm able to get back into human form.
I'm not even sure how the pack will react to my return, coming home with a child. I've already devised an alibi about my life for the past five years, and they'll be told that I didn't run away, but found my mate out there in another pack.
Lugging in a deep breath through my wolf nostrils, my airways are filled with the earthy, moist scent distinctive to Portland, reacquainting my senses with what smelled like home for twenty-five years of my life before I abruptly left.
I lower my body to let Noah climb off, and when he steps in front of me, I shift into human form and immediately wrap my arms around him.
“You were so brave, Noah-kins!” I exclaim as I hug him tightly.
He giggles and pulls his face back. “Mama, so cool! I wanna do now!”
Chuckling, I take Noah's hand and continue further into the forest, close to the border region where I know I'll be able to flag down a border patrol wolf to alert the pack of our arrival.
“I'll teach you how to do that when you're old enough,” I tell Noah as I squeeze his hand gently. “You weren't afraid?”
Noah shakes his head firmly. “No!” he declares boldly. “Wasn't scared!”
Pride swells my chest as I smile, and for the first time, it feels like I'm doing something right.
It always remained in the back of my mind that running away from Portland was a bad idea, but it was the only thing that kept me afloat, kept my heart intact, when memories of Noah's father threatened to keep me locked in turmoil.
How could I possibly stay wallowing in the heartbreak of his rejection when everything in Portland reminded me of him? How was I going to raise a child in the very same town where he'd bitterly rejected my claim that we were true mates?
“True mates?” He'd scoffed. “Don't be ridiculous, Arianna! That bullshit doesn't happen to Moonshine wolves. It's a fairytale, and the reality is that I reject any form of the mate bond. I reject you, Arianna Hart!”
Even now, after four years, those words ring in my mind and send a bitterly cold chill down my spine as we head through the invisible border surrounding Portland.
Though there aren't any real barriers, the distinct scent of Moonshine wolves forms a boundary line that only another werewolf would recognize.
The scent filling my airways feels like a walk down memory lane, my eyes filling with tears as I sniff to hold them back.
As I lift my chin to keep myself from shedding those tears, I see the silhouette of a large, majestic wolf standing in front of us, its eyes captivating, crystal-blue depths that ensnare me in its curious stare, my breath snatched from my lungs.
How could I ever forget the scent of old leather and spice, with undertones of sweet, fruity notes that appeal to my senses despite the hint of authority?
“Tyler.” The name rolls off my tongue just as the wolf shifts into human form. The angle in which the moon's rays catch his skin illuminates the distinct tattoo inked across his left forearm, and there's no mistaking it.
Walking toward Noah and me is the werewolf who'd rejected me four years ago. The werewolf who'd claimed my virginity on the night of his farewell party. The werewolf who'd impregnated me and left before he even knew I was pregnant.
The werewolf whom I'd once been in love with, who had shattered my heart into a million pieces that I had to put back together and replace with hatred for him.
I didn't expect to see him back in Portland, back from black ops. I didn't expect him to be the first Moonshine wolf to greet us on our arrival.
My body naturally responds to the authoritative masculinity he exudes as he comes closer, emerging into the light where the moon's silver rays magnify his creamy face with its sharp features, dark brown waves catching the rays and appearing lighter, like a golden crown at the top of his head.
Awareness rushes through me when I meet his eyes, and crystalline blue orbs penetrate my soul.
It takes every ounce of strength I can muster to tear my eyes away, but then I see the rest of his face, and my heart skips a beat.
The dark hairs of his beard whisper gently when a wind passes, bringing attention to the face I once held with both my hands, and plump lips that I'd kissed and lost myself in.
“Arianna,” Tyler gasps, his voice soft, but shocked. “What are you doing here?”
I gulp hard, swallowing down the lump that formed in my throat just as Noah tugs on my hand, hiding his face behind my arm. I'd rehearsed what I would tell the other pack members about my arrival with my son, but I hadn't anticipated seeing Tyler back.
I'm not sure how to respond to his question, and I notice the way his eyes flit to Noah when my son taps my arm.
“Who that?” Noah quizzes with curious eyes trained on Tyler.
A shiver courses down my spine as I witness an almost four-year-old boy meeting his father for the first time, but he can't know that.
Neither of them can know it. It'll just complicate things, and I can't afford for things to be complicated.
The only reason I'm here is to protect my son. Tyler's unexpected appearance might not be something I anticipated, but I have to work with it. I can't get tangled up in any mess, even if my body seems highly aware of his imposing presence, as if my hatred means nothing.
“I'm Alpha Tyler Whitlock,” Tyler declares proudly as he sticks out a hand for Noah to shake, my jaw dropping when realization hits.
That's when panic sets in, forcing me to hold Noah's shoulders and pull him closer to me. He can't shake his father's hand.
“What are you—”
“I'm here to seek shelter for my son and me,” I cut him off as I step forward, lifting my chin confidently as I shield Noah behind me. “We have found ourselves without a home, and that's why I've returned to Portland.”
Tyler takes a deep breath, his Adam's apple bobbing noticeably when he gulps, and his eyes flicker to Noah. “Where is the child's father?”
“He is no more,” I say, batting my eyelids as I let the lie sink in.
For the longest time, Tyler Whitlock was dead to me, and even if he's standing in the flesh in front of me now, it doesn't change how I feel about him.
My initial response was just memories of the past resurfacing, until I was able to remind myself why I ran away in the first place.
“So you don't have a home?” Tyler asks as he crosses his muscular arms. It takes every ounce of inner strength not to stare at the way his veins are mapped across taut muscle.
“No,” I confirm with a firm exhale, my eyes narrowing. “Noah's father died, and I would like to take him to my old cottage.”
Tyler pauses for a moment, his eyes flickering between my face and Noah's as he seemingly mouths my son's name without a sound. He tightens his arms crossed against his chest, lifting his eyes to meet mine when he finally speaks.
“As the alpha of this pack…” he begins in a cold tone, the same one he'd used to reject me four years ago. My body tenses in response, blood rushing in my ears as he continues, “I will have to grant you the refuge you seek, since you are a Moonshine wolf. However…”
When he raises a finger, I frown. He's still the cold, heartless brute that he was back then, and I hate him for it, my nostrils flaring as he continues.
“You will not be able to live in your old cottage, Arianna. It's been abandoned for four years, and the conditions are…unlivable. Especially for a child.”
“I—” I begin to protest, but Tyler cuts me off with a dismissive hand held up.
“You don't have a choice in this matter, Arianna. You will stay at my house until your cottage is fixed.”
My jaw drops.
Live in his house?
I should never have returned!
“We can't—”
Tyler cuts me off again by stepping forward, too close for my liking, forcing me to hold my breath so I can't catch his scent.
Because he's in human form now, the fruitiness overpowers the leather, making it nearly impossible to ignore how my body responds to the sweet scent.
He leans in, staring squarely into my eyes, his hot breath fanning my face when he opens his mouth to speak.
“Might I remind you that I am the alpha now?” Tyler asks icily, his voice measured. “Whatever I say goes. And I insist that you and your son stay in my house until we fix your old cottage. Got it?”
As he turns on his heel slowly, he simply glances over his shoulder when he says, “Now, follow me. We'll avoid the patrol route so you can have some peace of mind without being questioned.”
Though his offer is one I should be grateful for since I get to avoid facing anyone else from the pack, especially after the day I've had, it comes layered with disdain from the coldness in his tone. It only serves as a reminder, as fuel to the fire of my hatred for him.
He's an obnoxious asshole, and he's always been that way. Now, I have to deal with my hatred for him while living in his house?
Great!
My only consolation is my son's safety, and the curiosity in his eyes when I lift him into my arms and follow Tyler into town.
I hate that I'm following him, faced with his back, allowing me to see the way his muscles move with every step he takes. It doesn't matter that he's built like a god with broad shoulders that taper into a tiny waist, as if he were carved in the image of the perfect man.
He's still the man who broke my heart with cruel words and rejection, and I still hate him. That's something that will never change.