Chapter 15 - Elias
I was in a hidden spring, tucked behind a series of winding tunnels. Off to the side, sitting on a patch of moss, Emma waited, her expression filled with apprehension and uncertainty as anxiety mixed with her scent.
My vision swam in and out of focus. Water had soaked into my bandages, coolness pressing against the wounds.
Instead of pain, there was a sort of pleasant hum.
I focused on that as a tingling sensation ran up and down my injuries, as if something was knitting them back together, healing me.
I could feel my strength returning as the water dipped into the wound, my breathing growing deeper and more regular.
But everything around me continued to blur and spin as if I wasn’t entirely there. As if the water was transporting me.
Then, the stone and moss and dripping water vanished.
I was a kid again, walking through the woods with my father as he gave me one of his life lessons. This one is about the importance of duty to the pack.
“The pack always comes first,” he growled. “You can’t put yourself before the pack. There are going to be times when you have to do something you don’t want to do, but you will, because it’s for the good of the pack. The sooner you learn that, the better.”
“Yes, sir,” I said.
“You can’t let your emotions take you away from your duty,” he said. “That comes to your luna as well.”
I wrinkled my nose in disgust. I was barely ten. The last thing I wanted to think about was a luna.
If he saw the expression, he ignored it and kept talking.
“You need a strong luna, but one who will listen to you at the same time. You should pick a female who can shift, and preferably comes from a strong line. A family like the Davies, for instance.”
“But they don’t have any girls—”
Dad waved me off. “Doesn’t matter. You get my point. You need someone strong and who the pack can respect.”
“What if I don’t like her?”
He let out a growl. “I already told you. You can’t let your emotions take you away from your duty.
Find someone you can tolerate, if only so you don’t show disunity before the pack.
But affection is a weak emotion. And it sure as hell shouldn’t come in the way of whoever you pick when the time comes. ”
I nodded, holding those words tight, absorbing them the way only a kid could. Dad would never give me bad advice. They lingered throughout my teenage years and into adulthood.
Then the scene dissipated, replaced by a new one.
I was walking into my room the day after a party, my mouth filled with cotton even as I smelled the campfire and whiskey from the night before on my clothes.
I paused when I saw the figure in my bed.
Still naked, she had the blanket drawn up over her chest, doing nothing to conceal her curves.
Her auburn hair was mussed, with strands sticking up all over the place.
She stared at me nervously, biting her lip in a way that drove my wolf insane.
“Hi,” she said.
I played out the scene that had replayed in my head more and more frequently since the Oracle’s declaration.
I told her it was time for her to leave.
I told her it was never going to happen again, that it was a mistake.
I laughed at her when I realized she actually thought something was going to become of what had amounted to a drunken one-night stand.
She was weak, couldn’t even shift. It wasn’t like we were going to have a future together.
I watched as her heart broke. I didn’t really care.
I had other things to deal with today, and she was making this way harder than it needed to be.
I waited, somewhere between bored and annoyed, as she took deep, shaking breaths, grabbing her clothes and throwing them on as quickly as possible.
All the while, she kept her head angled away from me, as if not wanting me to see her stricken face.
Something like guilt roiled in my stomach. I ignored it.
I tried to open my mouth, to take it back, to tell her how badly I wanted her, how I had always wanted her. I wanted to yell at myself for being such a dumbass. I tried to walk after her as she ran out of the room, choking back a sob.
But this was a memory. And I was a kid desperate to live up to his father’s expectations, to make myself worthy of the title of alpha.
And that meant rejecting a person I knew the rest of the pack considered weak, no matter my own thoughts.
So all I could do as I relived the memory was stand in place and watch, listening for the sound of the door slamming below.
Then I went about my business, pushing against any murmurings of guilt or attraction toward her.
It had been a one-night thing, after all.
Feelings for her.
As those words hit home, the room melted away, replaced with another familiar room.
My living room. Emma lounging on the couch.
At first, I thought this must be another memory.
Except it couldn’t be. This Emma’s face was creased with laugh lines and the beginnings of crow’s feet.
She was somewhere in her thirties. Next to her was a teenager I didn’t recognize.
Except, I realized with a jolt, I did. Auburn hair, blue eyes, Emma’s round face.
Grace was lithe and muscular, a mischievous sparkle in her eyes as she laughed at something her mother said.
Then, with an even stronger jolt of shock, I saw another, smaller kid I had never seen before.
A boy with my shaggy hair, my chin, my nose.
“Welcome home!” Emma exclaimed as her eyes fell on me.
This wasn’t the home of two people staying together out of obligation. This was the home of a happy family.
She stood and walked over, pulling me toward her and pressing her lips to mine.
“How was your day?” she asked, practically glowing with happiness.
For whatever reason, seeing her like this, seeing the happy family that we may or may not have in a few years’ time, seemed to put everything in perspective.
I wanted Emma. Not just because of the mating bond, but because she was her.
I didn’t want anyone else. I admired her strength and courage.
I admired her desire to take matters into her own hands.
I had treated her terribly when we were younger.
Now, I wanted to spend the rest of my life making it up to her.
I would spend the rest of my life making it up to her.
I woke up with a gasp, body convulsing, back arching as my eyes flew open. I heard a squeak of surprise or delight nearby.
I groaned as I pushed myself to a seated position, rubbing my head. As I looked around, I heard a familiar voice nearby, and my head swiveled toward it.
“Oh, thank God.” Emma crawled next to me, her eyes darting across my face, my body. “You’re…” She swallowed, her mouth opening and closing as she stared at me with wide eyes. She sucked in a breath, then flung her arms around me, holding me tight.
My injuries groaned in protest, but the stabbing pain had dimmed to an ache, as if the injuries were several days old. I barely noticed them as I wrapped my arms around her. I nuzzled my face into her neck, breathing in her scent. After a moment, she pulled back, looking at me all over.
“I was afraid I lost you,” she said, swallowing.
I gave a flirtatious grin as I reached up and brushed a strand of hair back.
“You’re not getting rid of me that easily,” I said.
I glanced around, taking in the cavernous space, the slight echo of our voices, the gently moving water I was still sitting in.
My brow furrowed. “Though you might need to fill me in on a few things. Like, where the hell we are right now.”
“Right, of course.” She let out a puff of air as she sat back. She was half in the water, her knees and calves wet, her shoes soaked. She didn’t seem to care. “How much do you remember?”
I blinked. Fuzzy memories came swimming back to me as I tried to place them. Images of my father, of Emma in my bedroom, of Emma and me wandering hand in hand through the streets—something that definitely had never happened.
Then I remembered the sand wraith, the pure agony as it sliced into my side. I remember lying in the oasis, then Emma helping me along.
“You brought me here,” I said, glancing around.
She nodded. “It’s an underwater spring. I’m pretty sure it feeds the oasis. But this is where the real magic is.”
“Wow. I’m impressed you found it.”
She bobbed her head modestly. “A little bit of luck and a little bit of magic,” she said coyly. “I’m just relieved it worked out.”
I pulled her toward me again, pressing my forehead to hers. “Thank you,” I said.
She pulled back. “I wasn’t about to sit around and let you die.”
I clambered to my feet, wincing at some of the pains, as I stuck my hand out toward Emma. She took it, and I helped pull her to her feet. When we were both upright, I kept her hand in mine, unwilling to let go. She took half a step toward me, not taking her hand back as she stared at me, waiting.
“I’m so sorry,” I murmured.
Her brow wrinkled. “Sorry for what?”
I brushed the water from my face, pushing the wet locks clinging to my forehead away as I stared up at her.
“For everything. I messed up, Emma. I messed up when we were kids. I picked on you for years. Then, when I had the chance to be with you, I pushed you away. I thought I was supposed to be with someone else, someone who ticked all these bullshit boxes, so I decided that night was a mistake.”
Water dripped onto the dark stone floor as my arm reached out. I cupped her cheek. She leaned into it, not seeming to mind the cool water on my hand.
“The real mistake was letting you walk out that door five years ago,” I said. “And I’m sorry I was stupid enough to do that.”
Her features had softened, filled with something I hoped was affection, but I couldn’t be sure.
“Elias—” she began.
I held up my hand. “I’m not finished,” I said.
“I need you to know that I care about you. Not just as my mate. I have a feeling that, even if you weren’t, I would still care about you, still be crazy about you.
You’re smart and determined. If you get knocked down, you get back up.
You’re an amazing person, Emma. I just wish I had seen it sooner. ”
“It’s fine,” she said. “You don’t—”
I shook my head, water droplets scattering all over, even on Emma, who giggled as she took a half-step back and wiped away the droplets.
“I don’t care. I intend to spend the rest of my life making it up to you,” I said. “I just hope that you can forgive me someday.”
She gave a dazzling grin that seemed to scatter the remaining darkness.
“I’ve already forgiven you,” she said.
She closed the gap, pressing her lips to mine, and my wolf howled in triumph.