twenty-five
“Did his parents agree to pay his ransom?”- Leo
I take a few deep breaths, attempting to calm my racing heart, as I stand outside of Peadar’s office door.
I don't know why I’m so nervous, it’s only Peadar.
I’ve been in his office thousands of times before, and nothing bad has ever happened.
This is different, though. I have the completely illogical fear that Peadar will be able to see remnants of Callisto’s touch on my skin.
That he will know of my disobedience by simply looking at me.
I stare at the door, trying to find some bit of courage inside of myself.
An awful mixture of trepidation and anxiety stirs in my gut, forcing its way up and into my throat.
I swallow, trying to breathe evenly before my racing heart decides to run away completely.
My body shakes, beads of sweat forming on my brow.
I raise a fist to knock on the door, my movements jerky and uncoordinated.
Three firm knocks then I wait, trying not to jump out of my skin in the process.
“Come in,” a familiar, nasally voice says from behind the door.
He sounds normal. He doesn't sound mad or upset at all, and I take another deep breath before gripping the handle and turning it.
In the time it takes me to push the door wider, I harden my features.
Peadar sits behind his desk, glasses perched on the tip of his nose as he looks at a paper.
“Hi Peadar. I’m sorry I don’t have a formal report like I normally do.” I start. I resist the urge to reach for my pendant, needing to feel grounded in some way.
Peadar doesn’t even look up. He gestures to the seat in front of his desk with a wave of his hand. I sit quickly, almost too quickly. Trying to cover it, I casually rest my ankle on the opposite knee, attempting to look as relaxed as I normally do in Peadar's presence.
I clear my throat, dislodging the nervous tremor that has taken up occupancy there and continue, “I wasn’t sure if you wanted one since I sent the other boys to explain everything we found out last night.”
“That’s alright.” Peadar lets the paper fall on the desk then sits his glasses down on top of it. He finally gives me his undivided attention.
Peadar doesn’t say anything else, a deafening silence falling on the room.
He stares at me for a few minutes through squinted eyes, as if studying me.
I force my body to relax, even though my heart beats madly in my chest.
Peadar’s stare strips me bare, exposing every secret.
As if he smells the betrayal right on my breath, forcing me to stop breathing entirely just to kill the scent. I force air in and out of my lungs.
“That’s not what I wanted to discuss with you, anyway,” he finally says, breaking the silence like a thick tree branch snapping under a storm.
“Oh,” I say, the word coming out on a held breath- so much for breathing.
I don't know if I should be relieved or horrified.
I cannot imagine what else Peadar would want to discuss, but at least I won’t be grilled about the events of the night before.
I am a good liar, but I have no idea if I could be that convincing to Peadar.
That’s like lying to my father. Peadar would probably see right through me.
“Yes. I wanted to discuss Callisto Santos.” I freeze for a split second, my entire body like a vinyl that skipped when the needle hit a scratch on its surface. It’s only for a second, though, before the record spins once more. If Peadar notices, he doesn’t let it show.
“Did his parents agree to pay his ransom?” my question comes out quickly. I’m sure they did. It's been almost a week. How could they not?
I should be relieved. I’ve wanted Callisto out of my life since the very beginning, but there is only dread.
I should have been preparing myself for this moment.
I knew better than to get attached. I knew this was coming.
The Santos were always going to answer the ransom.
Callisto leaving my life for good was inevitable.
I will never see him again, and I should be elated.
Instead, my heart feels like it has been ripped out of my chest and put into a blender.
“They aren’t cooperating at this time...” Peadar steeples his fingers, watching me, and I was not expecting that.
“What do you mean they aren’t cooperating?” I ask. Was Callisto right to say that his parents don’t give a damn about him? How could they not care that monsters have their only child?
Callisto may be annoying, but he’s also very kind. He’s funny in a very unintentional way. I’ve become quite fond of the way his voice raises an octave higher whenever he’s outraged. The way his nose scrunches when I do something he wasn’t expecting. How could his family not love that?
“It doesn’t matter. I’ve come up with a different plan,” Peadar continues, and the images of Callisto’s cute mannerisms all but disappear. What in the ever loving fuck could that be? Apprehension grips the pieces of my blended heart and squeezes them, creating a juice made up of fear and anxiety.
I swallow, forcing the next question from my throat, “What’s that?”
“His father has some priceless pieces of art in his private collection. We’re going to put a bomb vest on Callisto and tell them to give us 10 million dollars, and certain art pieces, or we will detonate it and kill everyone in the house.” An evil smile curls on Peadar’s face.
A bomb vest? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I know next to nothing about bombs. None of my friends do either. There is no way we could rig it to not go off. I’m not even on good terms with Peadar’s bomb guy. Fuck.
“Can’t I just steal them? Then we can let Callisto and Nico go.”
It seems so logical. I could easily steal something from a rich guy.
We got into De Luca’s house, no problem.
He probably had more security than Giuseppe Santos.
CEOs' lives aren’t commonly in danger, so Giuseppe would have minimal security. I could handle it.
“They’re in a vault. Not even you or Daron could crack it. We need Callisto’s father to open it. I plan to blackmail Callisto and his father so that when he is released, they’ll stay quiet.” With Peadar’s words, the hope that had swelled in my chest deflates. Fuck.
What could he possibly have on Callisto to use as blackmail.
I obviously don't know Callisto’s family secrets, but they’re rich aristocrats.
They don't seem like the type of people to have done something that is blackmail worthy.
Evan would have told me if he found anything, but he hasn’t, which makes me suspicious. I won’t press the matter, though.
“What about Nico? “I ask because Peadar hasn’t mentioned him a single time in his plan.
“He is just an assistant. Once you leave here, tell Daron to kill him and dispose of the body. You know the drill.” Peadar’s instructions are so nonchalant, as if he’s talking about a piece of trash.
I may throw up. Goddamn it. They can’t kill Nico.
He’s Callisto’s only friend. It would destroy Callisto.
He would think Nico’s death was his fault.
I want to curl up into a ball, but if I show any sign of weakness to Peadar, we will all die.
I have to stay strong. If not for myself, then for the rest of the boys.
I can’t imagine seeing the life leave Nico's eyes.
Callisto would never forgive me. I would be a monster.
“Why can’t we blackmail him to keep him quiet, too?”
I ask the question before I think better of it.
Peadar looks at me suspiciously, something akin to anger dancing in his beady eyes.
I try not to show any fear. I don't question Peadar’s authority that often, but I’m desperate.
My mind races, trying to think of a way to get us all out of this safely, without Peadar ever finding out.
“He’s not worth our time and resources.” Peadar leans forward, resting his elbow on the desk in front of him and clasping his hands together. He levels me with his gaze. “Leo, have you grown fond of the pair?”
I freeze at the question, like a child with his hand caught in the cookie jar.
Peadar looks at me as if I’m a puzzle that he’s seconds away from figuring out.
I try to keep my breaths even, my body from trembling.
I’m going to be lucky to make it out of this office alive at this rate.
Peadar is clearly suspicious. This will make getting us out unscathed that much more difficult. I need to think of something quickly.
“No. Not at all, sir. I just thought it may be easier than trying to hide a body,” I lie, the explanation coming out easily from my jumbled brain.
Peadar is still looking at me, his eyes squinted, thin lips a harsh line.
I have never seen this expression on his face.
Not even when he was killing someone for being disobedient or a snitch.
It’s chilling, and I barely stop a shiver from running up my spine.
The office feels ten degrees cooler, as if Peadar’s very mood is affecting the environment.
“I disagree. We found no traces of a family. I think he’s a liability that we are better off getting rid of instead of spending time and resources to keep him quiet,” Peadar responds, the words sounding almost rehearsed.
Fuck. He found out Nico doesn't have anyone looking for him. I have no idea how, but he found out.
At this point, I have two choices: Get back in Peadar’s good graces and survive or put my life on the line to try and save Callisto and Nico. I would have to leave everything I have ever known.
“I understand, sir,” I say, hardening my voice. Peadar smiles, so maybe I have gained back some trust with that comment. Good. I need that for what I’m about to add to the conversation. It’s a long shot, but I need Peadar to agree to it. I keep my tone nonchalant.
“I should go in with Callisto, though. I can have a gun and can keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't somehow try to escape, or his family doesn't help him. I can even carry the remote for the bomb, that way I can be out of there if we decide to set it off.”
“You make a good point. I was already planning to accompany him, so you coming along for reinforcement is a good idea. This is an important mission. We cannot leave without the money or the art.”
“Completely understandable. We won’t.” I’m not as confident as I sound. I want some control over the situation.
“His father has guards. We can use Callisto to get in, though. I’m sure they will let us in when they realize we have a bomb strapped to his chest and a gun pointed at his head.”
Peadar’s form is replaced by a mental image of a scared Callisto in a bomb vest, as I hold a gun to his head.
The room is much too small, as if it’s closing in on me.
“When is this taking place?” I ask because I need a timeframe.
I need to get as much information about this plan as possible in order to try to change the outcome.
I feel so hopeless. Peadar is powerful. More powerful than I will ever be, so I’m taking on a giant.
Do I really want to? It would most certainly mean death. What’s the point?
“Tomorrow night. Twenty-two hundred hours. Bring him here,” Peadar orders, and I nod. We could try to get Nico out and tell Peadar we killed him. I could go with Callisto to do the trade off and stay in the organization.
Callisto doesn’t have to die as long as his parents cooperate.
I feel like there is more to the plan that Peadar isn’t telling me; I can’t figure out what.
I have a bad feeling, though, as if I will be marching Callisto to his death.
I usually trust my gut, and it’s telling me to get Callisto the fuck out of dodge, but how without putting myself on the reaper’s list?
“Why so late?” I try to keep my voice from cracking.
I cannot allow my inner turmoil to coat the inflection of my words.
Peadar cannot know where my thoughts are, even though I desperately want to ask Peadar what his real plan is.
Tell him to cut the shit and share the full thing.
Peadar is very clearly hiding something.
I have been trained to see when someone is lying.
Even Peadar has his tells. It’s in his posture.
“From our observations, that’s usually the time of day Mr. Santos returns home,” Peadar explains, his tone all business. I have no idea what he’s going to do.
The realization that I don't have many options shakes me to my core.
My vision tunnels, the familiar feeling of hopelessness washing over me.
The floor under me moves, an earthquake causing the boards beneath my feet to become fluid, as if I’m trying to stand on water.
I can’t seem to find my balance. I’m panicked, as if the floor itself is about to open up and swallow my body, taking it into an even darker abyss.
“Okay. I will have him here at half past nine.”
My confirmation somehow forms around the lump in my throat.
After that, Peadar moves on to other updates, like any normal meeting between us.
He briefly brings up the events of last night, but I am able to skim over the details.
As the seconds tick by, every muscle in my body is as rigid as a statue, but my mind races, trying to think of a way out of this.
When I finally leave Peadar’s office, I can’t help but sag in relief. It’s almost lunch time, my stomach grumbling since I skipped breakfast in favor of a blow job. I don't know if I can eat, though, the anxiety still running rampant in my system.
Once again, I’m a helpless fourteen year old boy who doesn’t have a home.
My fate was decided for me then, and it never changed.
Peadar gave me the illusion of making my own decisions.
Choice is an illusion. I can die trying to save Callisto, risking both our lives in the process, or I can march him straight to the slaughterhouse.
Either way, the ending is written. I have to decide if I’m the hero of this tragedy, or the villain.