twenty-seven #3
Leo is so caught off guard, he drives right off the road, surrendering first place to me.
I cross the finish line shortly after and giggle with glee when I finally finish in first place with Leo close behind me.
Instead of looking upset because he lost, he looks so happy that I am happy.
Fletcher throws his controller when he realizes he finished third.
Well, he didn’t throw it, he let it fall to the floor forcefully.
Evan finishes fourth, but he doesn’t seem to care.
“Wanna play another game, sweetness?” Fletcher asks, looking at Evan.
The smile falls from his face when he reads Evan’s melancholy expression.
The shift in Evan is instantaneous, triggered the moment Fletcher aims a playful remark at Leo.
I understand his jealousy. I’ve been jealous over Fletcher since the moment he put his arm around Leo to help him when he was concussed, but I’m actively trying to let that go.
“Nah. I think I’m gonna go meet up with Riley. He wanted to go out tonight,” Evan says, already standing up from the couch.
Fletcher’s face falls even more at his icy tone.
I want to ask what the hell his problem is, but it isn’t my place.
Leo shoots a confused look in Fletcher’s direction.
Fletcher doesn't notice, though, his eyes trained on Evan like they are most of the time.
“I didn’t know you had plans with him tonight,” Fletcher responds, trying to sound casual, but it comes out stiff, almost angry. Whose Riley and why does he make Fletcher so angry? Is it jealousy? I make a mental note to ask Leo, but he doesn't seem to know either. He looks as confused as I feel.
“Yeah. I don’t tell you everything,” Evan mumbles, and Fletcher looks hurt for a split second before he masks it. The tension is back in the room, so tight, it makes me feel incredibly awkward. I want to leave so I can breathe again.
“Oh. Well, hold up. I’ll go with.” Fletcher quickly stands up from the couch.
“Wait. Weren’t y’all supposed to follow me out? You know, to make it seem like we are leaving to kill Nico,” Daron asks, also standing up. “We can leave now, though. If we stay any longer, it may look suspicious.”
“Oh yeah. Well... lead the way.” Evan gestures toward the front door.
We all say their goodbyes. I hug Nico, trying to hold back tears.
I’m afraid this is the last time I will ever see my friend.
I wish I would’ve made an effort to get to know him better.
He has always been nice to me, listening to me bitch and moan about being lonely when he was right there, ready to be my friend.
I took his friendship for granted. I promise myself never again, if I get out of this alive.
Fletcher, Evan, and Daron hug Leo, probably for the same reasons I had hugged Nico.
They all say goodbye as if they are going to see each other the next day, but their hugs linger.
There is something unspoken between them that makes my heart tighten, and not with the tension Evan and Fletcher’s disagreement had caused.
This is heavier. It reminds me of the day I found out that my nanny had passed.
The very air in the room feels like it is made of lead, and I can’t quite take in a full breath.
After the others leave, things are quiet between me and Leo.
I have a lot to say but can’t bring myself to say any of it.
We clean up the mess the men left behind.
Without even asking to make sure it’s okay, I follow Leo into his room.
Leo doesn't say anything, and I want to sigh with relief.
I couldn’t imagine sleeping alone tonight.
We get undressed and climb in bed, turning the lights off a moment later.
I open my mouth to say something at least seven and a half times but always close it again. Thankfully it’s dark or Leo would surely think I’m practicing my fish impression. Where I was soaring before, now I have crash landed in the dark abyss, allowing it to swallow me whole.
What am I supposed to say? Even though you kidnapped me, you showed me the world? Before you, I was surrounded by things, but I was always so alone? I’ve never felt alone once in the past few days?
If you were such a horrible monster, then how did you give me wings?
I don't say any of those things, I grab Leo's body, pulling him closer.
He doesn’t hesitate, wrapping one arm around my torso, the other hand tangling in my hair.
I bury my face in his chest, breathing him in and hoping he doesn’t feel the wetness from my tears.
This may be the last time I’ll get to feel Leo around me.
We have tomorrow. That’s all. Tomorrow, then everything changes.
Everything has changed already. I have changed.
I try not to think about what tomorrow will bring.
The steady and strong beat of Leo's heart is against my ear.
A tear travels down my face at the idea of that very same heart stopping tomorrow because of me.
I don't know if I will be able to live with myself if Leo dies.
I don’t know if I want to because Leo has shown me what living means.
I don't want to think about this. I don't want to come to terms with our harsh reality, so I push it from my mind. I pretend the world around us doesn’t exist, that our situation isn’t hopeless. Soon after, I fall into a fitful sleep, dreaming of flying and freedom. Dreaming of Leo.