Chapter 48
Chapter forty-eight
Alisa
I squeezed the phone in my hand, hoping that I was hallucinating and not actually being ordered to kill my only friend in the Bratva. Each time I re-read it, the message remained identical.
With a racing heart I squinted into the dark, praying that Natalya hadn’t gotten the message before me.
My immediate priority was to get out of here. I needed to find somewhere safe to regroup.
Dmitri’s warm, cozy apartment flashed in my mind. Even though it was farther than my father’s house, I immediately headed in that direction.
My heart squeezed as I realized it was the only place in the city where I felt safe.
A twig snapped, and I spun around, hoping against hope that it was just a squirrel. Natalya stepped out from behind a tree, her face unreadable.
My stomach dropped as we stared at each other. The hurtful words she’d hurled at me the last time I’d seen her laid in the ten feet of distance between us. Despite the pain that seared into my nerves, one fact remained true.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I said.
Emotion rippled across her face, and my heart squeezed in on itself. Her betrayal hurt me, but that didn’t erase the moments that lay before that. Laughing until we wheezed, nudging each other during particularly long sessions at the Pakhan’s, struggling to learn Russian as children.
The memories trickled through my mind as she stared back at me with bright eyes.
“I’ll make it quick and painless,” she said quietly, but the wind carried her words through the air and pierced my heart.
This was how things always ended in the Bratva. With death and regret. I wrapped my arms around my chest, feeling like my heart had been scooped out of the cavity and was about to plop onto the frozen grass.
Natalya stepped towards me, and I kept clutching my chest. How did this keep happening? Only death stretched around me, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
But I refused to stand here and accept it. I turned on my heel and ran.
My lungs burned as I gulped down freezing air. Her footsteps followed me, and I knew I was just putting off the inevitable. Even if I somehow made it out of this park alive, she wouldn’t stop hunting me.
In the end her need to win–her very survival–depended on ending me. There was no room for friendship there.
Over the years, the microdosing had done a number on my lungs. They frantically heaved as I tried to force myself to keep going.
The doctor had been right after all: increasing the drugs would end up killing me one day. Although he probably hadn’t predicted it’d be because my body was too weak to win a footrace.
Tears fled down my face as I looked over my shoulder. Grim determination lit up Natalya’s face as she gained on me. When she dragged a knife out of her coat, I wasn’t even angry.
All I could focus on was the calming warmth of Dmitri’s body while he held me last night. The smile that had lit up his face when he’d caught me making muffins.
Even as I enjoyed those moments, I’d known they were temporary. Nothing good ever lasted in this dark world we lived in. Inevitably I’d lose that little slice of happiness I’d greedily snatched up, but I wasn’t ready for it to end.
Not yet.
Ahead a sharp rock lay near a stream. I wasn’t sure if I could actually kill my friend, but I had to fight. I wasn’t ready to give up this dream.
Huffing, I forced my legs to sprint harder. With a jagged intake of breath, I swiped up the rock and spun on my feet.
“Please,” I said, but I wasn’t sure what I was asking.
Natalya's stride didn’t falter as she sprinted towards me. She raised her knife above her head, ready to strike. I chucked the rock at her leg, knowing her momentum and low visibility would make it hard for her to avoid it. The rock struck true, and a cracking noise echoed in the quiet of the park.
Natalya stumbled, and hope bloomed in me.
“Maybe we can find a workaround, so we can both live,” I pleaded. “You could fake your death… or I could fake mine.”
I pictured it: hiding in Dmitri’s apartment from the rest of the world. Being able to spend another night in his arms.
Natalya grimaced, but she continued forward with her knife still raised, a limp in her left leg.
The tears came faster down my cheeks. “Please, Natalya. We can think of something together. It doesn’t have to end like this.”
“Nyet.” There was a finality to her voice, and I knew there was no reasoning or bargaining with her.
I took a step back, the chill of the creek soaking my feet. My fingers dug into the water, and picked up a sharp and heavy rock.
Tears poured down my face as Natalya slowly limped my way.
Yes, she’d betrayed me. She’d made me sob, and placed my safety at risk when she revealed to Roman what I’d said.
But people weren’t just one action, one moment.
They were the sum of the laughter, and silent solidarity, and quiet friendship.
I couldn’t hate her, couldn’t bring myself to come close to feeling that way about her.
I didn’t want to kill her. Didn’t want to be the type of person who killed the people they cared about.
A roaring sound echoed, drowning out the sound of my sob.
A sports car zoomed through the blackness of the night, and we both froze. Central Park restricted cars in the park. Only law enforcement–or someone extremely connected–could enter. And that sure as hell didn’t look like a police cruiser.
“Who is that?” Natalya muttered.
Hopefully not the Pakhan here to finish us both off.
For one heartbeat, we both stared at each other wordlessly.
The car swerved hard in our direction. Bright headlights speared us in the eyes, and we both took off running.
Natalya limped in the opposite direction, obviously hoping the car was headed towards me. My lungs screamed as I tried to force my body to move.
When the car veered her way instead of mine, I knew without a doubt who it was. There was only one man who gave a shit if I lived or died.
The car screamed forward and slammed into Natalya’s back. I covered my mouth as her cry soared and abruptly died.
Dmitri stepped out of the car, his face a sky of fury. He strode towards me without even bothering to check on Natalya’s body underneath his car.
“Are you okay?” he said, his hands frantically checking my body for wounds.
With a sob, I grabbed his shirt. I threw my head into his warm chest, feeling truly at home for the first time since I’d left his house.