Chapter 54
Chapter fifty-four
Dmitri
Alisa blinked, and the tension inside my chest uncoiled. Blonde eyebrows scrunched together as she stared first at my face, then down at her covered body. Her blinking increased rapidly in time to the thoughts snapping across her mind.
“You okay?” I asked, pulling her tighter against me.
Alisa bit down on her lip. On her face I saw an internal war gathering like storm clouds. I wanted to rip open her mind and stare at each and every thought until I made sense of them.
Instead, I gritted my teeth and waited.
“I’m sorry,” she said eventually, her voice a whisper.
“For what?” I said, confusion seeping into my tone.
She ducked her head, but I refused to let her hide from me. I gently, but firmly raised her face up so she was looking at me.
Alisa puffed out a breath, and said, “I hate feeling this way. Letting it control me even now. I wish I could just move on from this.” Her shoulders sagged, and she whispered, “I just wish that my brain wasn’t so weak…”
I snorted out a laugh. Her eyes narrowed into sapphire daggers. After that blank nothingness in her expression, I relished the burst of emotion.
“You aren’t weak,” I said before she could try to filet me with her words. “Two years ago, you told me to kill you to save your brother. You pointed a knife at me even though you knew you couldn’t take me, because you were so desperate to protect him.”
I absently brushed my hand through her hair, and couldn’t help a small smile when she leaned into my touch.
“In our line of work, I didn’t think that anyone had the capacity to care that much—to sacrifice themselves—for anyone else. But that night when I looked into your eyes, I knew you meant it from the depths of your soul: You’d lay down your life for your brother.”
Her big blue eyes grew wet with tears.
“Alisa, you’re so unlike anyone I’ve ever met,” I said with a disbelieving shake of my head.
How she still managed to care in this screwed up world, I couldn’t fathom. All I knew was she’d somehow seeped into my blackened soul, and these blood drenched hands were never letting go.
Her voice was a whisper. “Really?”
“Yes, kitten. You have the most beautiful fucking soul,” I said, pressing her into my chest while she cried brokenly. “You’re a fucking miracle.”
I once vowed to break her, but now all I wanted was to destroy the one who caused her pain. My grip on her tightened as I thought of the blankness of her eyes as she laid in my arms like a hollow marionette.
When her throaty cries turned to hiccups, I gently pulled her backwards so I could stare at her tear strewn face.
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” I asked.
Alisa swallowed, trying to collect her words. “A year ago, s-someone ambushed me when I walked out of the bathroom at a party. H-he pulled my pants down…”
“The same way I just did?” I guessed, keeping my voice casual when all I wanted to do was drive my fist into the nearest wall.
Instead, I moved my hand outside of Alisa’s field of vision, and gripped the couch cushion hard enough to feel the metal piping underneath.
She nodded and continued in a haunted voice. “He t-touched me all over, and I couldn’t stop him…”
Her voice trailed off, and I dreamt up all the ways I could torture that motherfucker once I had him in my grasp. A simple death wouldn’t suffice. No, I’d listen to his screams for mercy until his voice gave out. I’d dangle a hint of hope in front of his eyes by bandaging him up…
Just so I could start all over again.
Alisa began speaking again, and it halted my thoughts.
“He stopped, because I was on my p-period. It was too d-disgusting for him.”
So that’s why she’d been so embarrassed by her period. Why she’d been completely convinced that I wouldn’t want her because of it.
Alisa’s eyes became distant, and my pulse picked up pace.
Still, I kept my voice steady as I said, “Stay with me, Alisa.”
At my words she blinked, and the cloudiness disappeared from her gaze. She nibbled on her lip for a moment, likely bringing together her scattered thoughts.
“I know he didn’t actually f-fuck me, so you probably think it isn’t a big deal,” her eyes drooped as she said it.
The urge to rip out this asshole’s tongue for ever making her feel that way burned like fire through my veins.
Any control over my tone snapped as the anger unfurled underneath my skin.
When I opened my mouth, my voice was more animalistic than human. “You’ve never been more wrong in your fucking life.”
Alisa gasped, her eyes wide as she took in my anger, but I was too far gone to mask my fury. My body practically vibrated from the pure need for blood.
“I want to snap every single bone in his body, and relish his pointless screams for mercy. I need to watch the hope drain from his eyes as he realizes that I’m about to break him beyond repair,” I said, my vision tinting red as I visualized it.
“And that still won’t be enough to sate me. Not even close.”