Chapter 15
FIFTEEN
Nevaeh
“You’ve brought me my favorite dessert?” I ask, sitting up from the mountain of pillows and blankets that’s become a fortress to hide away in. The room’s dark except for the light pouring in by way of the open door, much of it obscured by Caelian’s broad, hulking size.
My bleary and swollen eyes make it difficult to see. I rub a hand to the tears blurring my vision, fully expecting him to disappear. For it to be revealed I’m seeing things and he isn’t really there. He’s simply a silhouette of the armoire or a figment of my imagination.
The tears dry and my vision clears.
Caelian is real. He’s moved even closer from where he hovered in the doorway to the foot of the bed.
He keeps going, coming up the side, twisting on the lamp on the bedside table.
The slice of chocolate cake sits on a dessert plate that looks three times as small carried in a hand as large as his. Almost comically so.
He sets the tiny plate down and then takes a moment to peer down at me. His dark gray eyes scan every inch of my face, every part of the rest of me as if he’s making mental notes. He’s taking inventory of me, checking the condition I’m in.
Not to judge. Not even to scold.
At least, not me.
But if everything he requested has been accomplished. If Dr. Tulio provided adequate enough medical care and if Ms. Poitier cleaned me up properly. If I’ve sustained too many bruises and scrapes from today’s incident…
I’m not sure what would happen then. All the men who shot at us are dead except for one.
At least he was alive when we returned to Caelian’s estate.
Just when I’m questioning if Caelian’s shown up to drop off the dessert, assess how I’m doing, and then leave, he speaks.
“Are you in pain?”
I shake my head. “Dr. Tulio gave me pain meds.”
“But you were hurt? You were in pain?”
This time, I nod. His attention solely on me, mine solely on him, I don’t miss the flicker of silent frustration in his gaze. He reaches for me, his wide palm easily covering the curve of my cheek. Warmth spreads through me, making my heart flutter.
It’s the most intimate touch he’s given me since… since before I ran away.
So long that I’ve forgotten what it feels like.
I don’t know whether to lean into it, give into the sensations rolling over me, or be wary of the sudden affection.
Caelian’s made no effort to hide his newfound disdain for me; his sense of betrayal and bitterness for what I’ve done.
These contradictory thoughts come to a head, further breaking me down. A fresh dose of tears gloss my eyes, and I blink in hopes I’ll ward them off.
“You were in pain,” he says definitively. The lump in his thick throat bobs. “Did Tulio check that you’re… not…”
“Pregnant? No, Caelian, rest assured. Your baby making machine is just fine!” I jerk my head to the right, pulling out of his hold, and I put distance between us.
I scoot halfway across the bed where even he can’t reach me with his long arm span.
“Please just leave me alone. I already know you hate me… you only care about the baby you want to put into me. Our marriage won’t ever be full of love.
I get it. But don’t touch me and ask me how I am like you care! ”
My tone’s reprimanding, my volume loud enough to be heard from the hall outside. Another punishment could easily be doled out, yet I find myself defiant in the face of it.
I’ve had my fill of being pushed away and treated like I don’t matter. I can’t help that my heart still yearns for Caelian’s love, but I won’t be gaslit any longer. If he’s truly angry with me, if he really hates me, then I’d prefer he’d at least spare me and stay away.
Caelian’s equally taken aback at my boldness. He lets me scold him ’til I’m drawing short on breath, patient in how he observes me.
“Take the cake!” I go on, feeling a rush of my own anger. His silence and long stare bring it on. “Just take it and leave me alone!”
“You push me away,” he says finally. “I was coming to check on you.”
“You’re really confused why? You come bring me cake after pretending I don’t exist for weeks—after earlier when I needed you—and you don’t understand why I’m saying you should go?”
His nostrils flare as though he’s about to interrupt, but then his jaw clenches as he holds back. He decides once again to let me finish.
“You haven’t been there, Caelian. You’ve been too busy being angry with me, not giving me a chance to explain myself, punishing me for something I did to…” I break off due to the ache in my throat. “Forget about it. Just… leave.”
“You had to do?” he repeats. His wolfish eyes narrow into slits. “What did you have to do, Nevaeh?”
“I’ve tried to tell you. You’ve refused to listen!”
“Tell me now. What is it you had to do?” His growl rumbles out of him like thunder. He’s moved toward the bed out of an impulse to reach for me. All he’d have to do is lean over quickly enough to snatch hold of me by the arm.
I can’t figure out if his request is out of sincere curiosity or if any honesty might backfire on me. He’ll use it as further justification for treating me like a traitor. For putting distance between us and using me as some sort of vessel to carry his seed.
So I retreat into uncooperative silence.
Caelian does what I suspected he would—he leans over and swipes at me, easily gripping me by the elbow.
I’m dragged onto my knees, falling forward only for him to catch me.
For what a sudden and aggressive move it is, his tone lowers.
His register reads as gentle as it possibly can go. “What is it, bella? Tell me right now.”
“I did what I did because…” I take in a rocky breath and nearly lose my nerve. It’s difficult thinking about how I’ll ever explain the complexities of what’s happened. The lies I’ve been fed and was naive enough to believe.
But then I get an idea that’s better than telling Caelian.
I’ll show him.
I leap off the bed like I’m executing a saut de chat. Caelian hasn’t even caught on to what I’m doing by the time I’ve made it to the doors of the armoire. I draw them open and dig around inside for what I’m looking for.
“See for yourself.”
I spin around clutching the snow globe I’ve guarded with my life. The very same prized possession Mom and Dad have obsessed over without recognizing they have. No one else knows the truth but me.
“I left this here,” I say.
Caelian gives no indication he understands. He simply stares as if expecting more.
I sigh and walk the delicate glass dome over to him. “Turn it over and open the back where the batteries are supposed to go—it’s supposed to light up when you put them in. But I don’t keep batteries there.”
“Then what do you…” He pauses as I push the snow globe into his massive hands and then slide off the piece of plastic that snaps into place where the batteries usually go.
Once he sees what’s in their place, his dark gray eyes flick up for a look at me.
“The key? You’ve been keeping the key to the lockbox in your snow globe? ”
I nod. “My parents don’t know. Neither does Ignazio. The key I gave them is a dupe. It doesn’t open the lockbox.”
“You left the key here in my home. You left the key in my possession,” he says slowly. “You left with your mom and Ignazio to… trick them. And Nero.”
“If I stayed with you, everyone would know it was here. Because I was. I had to go. I realized it when my mother visited for Christmas and explained her and my father’s plan to me.
Nero wants that key, and my parents were going to barter it.
But so long as I was here, they’d all never stop coming for you. ”
Caelian’s hands are so massive, the size of an actual titan, that he’s able to grip the round dome of the snow globe easily in one hand. With his other, he seizes hold of me by the elbow and yanks me closer ’til I’m stumbling into his hard, broad body.
“Nevaeh,” he growls. “You were trying to protect me?!”
“You’re sick. I’m a target. I didn’t want you having to—”
“Nevaeh!” he yells over me. He tosses the snow globe onto the bed and then grips me with both hands. “What the fuck were you thinking? What have I told you about getting involved in this war between my family and the Vorones? What have I told you about putting yourself in danger?!”
“Don’t you realize what this key is? Do you know what Nero and the others are willing to do to get it?”
“I know my fucking wife has no business being the bait for these assholes! Nero has been hunting down you and your family. Not to capture but to kill. And you thought it was a good idea to run off to pretend you had the key with you?”
“Caelian, you can save the lecture,” I say hotly, twisting in his hold, though it’s no use. “I weighed my options and decided I had to go. Mom and Ignazio would’ve gone to Nero and told them the truth. They would’ve let him know I still had the key. I had to go along with their plan.”
“No,” he grunts. “Do you hear me, Nevi? I said no! You won’t play these fucking games trying to outsmart any of them. That is for me to handle!”
“It’s not just your fight!”
“It is because I say it is!”
“We’re partners!” I cry out in frustration.
I don’t care whether any of his guards or staff overhear out in the hall.
I’ve had enough of censoring myself. “Didn’t you tell me we were?
You said you’d hear my thoughts and opinions.
You said you’d let me express myself. You can’t hide me away like some fragile doll, Cael!
I’m a real live woman… your wife! We’re in this war against Nero and the Vorones together! ”
His expression ranges from frustration and anger at the choices I’ve made to a spine-tingling flash of affection—Caelian’s version, where his square, chiseled features are still tense but the care he has for me breaks through.
And I see the love in his gaze. It’s still hidden under his hardened exterior, the part of him that’s more beast than man, but it’s alive and stronger than ever.
He’s in love with me.
In the seconds leading up to what happens next, I begin wondering if I’ve failed to understand just how much.
Caelian has reacted the way he has because he was deeply wounded. He was heartbroken that the woman he loves, the wife he thought would be by his side, had abandoned him. He’s held the grudge for weeks because he still believed his feelings were unrequited.
Despite my protests and pleas, he convinced himself it was all lies. Not if I could so easily abandon him.
The snow globe—and the key I’ve kept hidden inside—is the proof that’s finally pulled him out of his betrayal-induced fog. He sees it now; he understands what I’ve done and the choices I’ve made. Though he doesn’t agree, he’s realized it means one thing.
I love him too. I’m not just his wife. I’m his life partner and I want to be.
“Fuck,” he swears. Then he reaches for me, snatching me toward him, lifting me up ’til I’m aligned with his mouth. He plants a fierce kiss on my lips that immediately knocks the air out of me.
It’s happened so fast I’m caught in the surprise of it all.
For a few lost seconds, Caelian unloads his hot passion on me by way of his kiss, and I can only luxuriate in how good it feels.
His demanding lips on mine. His giant hands gripping and squeezing my thighs.
The roughness of his kiss as he takes what he wants from me and I’m left panting, trying to keep up with him.
“Fuck,” he repeats between a few more kisses. He’s driven mad with need, kissing my lips and jaw. He grabs a handful of my hair and angles my head just how he wants it for his deepest, hungriest kiss ever. His tongue quickly lashes at mine, a rumbling noise starting up from inside his chest.
Caelian kisses me until I’m borderline lightheaded and my lips are numb.
Then he pulls away and pins me with the kind of intense stare that makes me feel like the only woman alive.
The angel of his dreams.
He’s marveling at me as he strokes his thumb against the curve of my cheek. The movement’s slow and reverent like he’s checking I’m real and can be touched.
“Fuck,” he says for the third and final time. Then he rests his brow against mine, his breaths heavy. “I love you, Nevi.”
I rest my hands on his rock-hard shoulders and nuzzle my face to his. “I love you too, Cael. Please forgive me.”
“Don’t ever do that shit again,” he says. “Do you understand, Nevi? If you want me alive, then don’t give my fucking broken heart that barely works that kind of pain… alright?”
A small smile tugs at my lips. My hand drifts lower ’til I can feel his heart pounding under the muscled wall that’s his chest. “It’s not broken. It’s still beating.”
“For you, mia bella ballerina.”