Chapter 43
The kitchen door bangs as loud as a gunshot, and Dex jumps as Nadia’s voice screams from the corridor of the safe house we’ve stopped in.
“I hate you! I want to live with my dad!” Her voice echoes from behind the closed door, and her footsteps stomp away from us.
I let my eyes fall closed and my head drop back against the wall. I can’t win. The usual questions assail me before I can stop myself.
Why did he leave?
Why wasn’t I enough to make him stay?
Needing to release the tension somehow, I lash at the cupboard, kicking it until it bangs like the door. The top hinge comes loose and rolls to the floor with a clink, leaving the door sagging at an angle.
Dex’s snickering makes me look up and glare at him.
“What’s so funny?” I snap.
“Nadia reminds me of you at that age.” Dex leans against the sink, smiling wryly at me. He steps toward me, clamping his big hands over my shoulders, and I try to shrug him off. “So much spirit,” he adds.
“There’s one big difference. When I was Nadia’s age, I had a dad who loved me.” I try to pull away from him, but Dex grips me tighter and gives me a gentle shake until I look up into the twinkling eyes of my father’s best friend.
“It’s not that different. Your dad was deployed for long stretches. Vadim is probably doing the best he can, given the circumstances.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and stare at the toes of my boots. “I can’t put my life on hold for another man who doesn’t care. I’ve got to get back and fight this court case.”
Dex pulls me over to a chair, pours a cup of coffee, and slides it to me across the table. I take a sip. It’s bitter and acrid. It tastes how I feel.
“Kesera,” Dex says softly. “What makes you think he doesn’t care?”
I run my finger across the top of the cup rather than look at him. “He never came to find us.”
“Hey.” I look up at the sharpness in Dex’s voice. “If I were him, I would have done the same.”
I can’t help my mouth pulling into a sneer. “What? Avoided your family?”
“No. I’d have tried to protect them by staying away. I think that’s what he’s doing.” He stands and points a thumb at the closed door to the bedroom where Nadia is hiding. “Come on. Go and get Nadia. We’re going riding.”
“What?” I step back. “I thought you said it wasn’t safe to leave.”
He grins at me, white teeth gleaming against his tan. “I said it wasn’t safe for Nadia to go to a mall, but I’ve got a military buddy with stables near here, and I think we all need horses and sunshine.”
“You sure?” I look out the window at the anonymous street.
“Yeah, no one is going to spot you on the back of a horse. Go get ready.”
“Okay.” I pad down the corridor and press my ear against Nadia’s door. Hiccupping sobs filter through the wood, and my heart sinks.
I go to my room and pull on some jeans. I’m pondering the mess we’re in as my phone rings. Maxine’s name flashes across the screen, and I swipe my thumb over it as my heart thuds against my ribs like a drum.
“I’ve got good news and bad news,” she says. Her nasal accent comes down the line, reminding me that my battles are still being fought in my absence.
“Give me something good. Please.” I twirl a curl of hair around my finger.
“You aren’t alone. There are at least three more artists who’ve been harassed and have confirmed that Jimmy is an equal-opportunity monster.” I can hear the smirk in her voice as she adds, “He spreads the love around.”
“But?”
“Well, the bad news is that no one will go on the record if you’ve disappeared. You’ll need to meet with these women. You have to be ready to lead the charge, not hiding from life in bumfuck nowheresville.”
“I’ll get back as fast as I can,” I say. I can’t let victory slip away when we’re so damn close.
By the timewe get to the stables, I’m determined to find a way back to my life. I’ve left Nadia at the car so she can fiddle with her riding boots and I can speak with Dex. I enter the barn, the scent of hay and horses doing nothing to calm me down.
“We can’t stay here, Dex. I’ve waited years to go after the monster who made me a star, and I need to win this lawsuit. I can’t do it from the middle of nowhere.”
Dex walks over to me and lets his hands drop to my shoulders, giving me a gentle shake. “You can’t do it at all if you’re dead.”
I tense under his fingers, and he rubs my shoulders with a wry smile.
“Give me another day. We’ll be out of here soon.” He spins me to face the horses. “Here you go. That’s Whiskey. She’s pretty gentle. Why don’t you brush her down?” he says, pointing to a bay mare. “We’ll put Nadia on Snort. That horse is so old he just wants to eat grass, so Nadia will have her work cut out to keep him moving.”
“I feel like a failure,” I say, dipping my head against the horse’s nose and breathing in her soft, grassy breath.
“Don’t beat yourself up, kiddo. I think you’re doing pretty well.” Dex moves around the front of the horse, places a brush in my hand, and lifts the brush to the top of Whiskey’s flank, helping me drag my hand lower in repeated motions. “Brush her. It’ll soothe the horse, and it’ll soothe you too.”
“How am I doing well?”
“You’re protecting your kid. You’re planning your court case, and you’ve handled this situation with Nadia’s father with dignity and grace.”
“You don’t think I’m an idiot? Stevie thinks I shouldn’t talk to him.”
Dex snorts as he bites back a laugh. “Stevie’s carried a torch for you for years.”
My head jerks up. “He hasn’t. He said?—”
“I know what Stevie said, but he didn’t mean it. Anyone with eyes can see he’s lovesick. He just knows you’re out of his league.”
“That’s what Vadim said.”
“Smart man.” Dex nods, taking his own brush and going to the black horse in the stall next to Whiskey’s.
“You don’t think I shouldn’t be talking to him?” I run the brush down the horse’s flank. “Not that I have a way of reaching him. He gave the phones to you and Nadia.” I bite down on my lip, the churning uncertainty rising up my throat.
“Nadia’s your daughter, and I work for you. He only had two phones with him. I think he’s putting your safety first.” Dex looks over, his brush pausing halfway down the horse’s side. “You can reach him if you need to. Honestly, I think he’s firefighting at the moment. That scene at your house was a shitshow.”
“I just wish...” My sentence hangs in mid-air, the scent of straw and the grassy perfume of horses mingling with my unspoken desires.
“Kiddo, I’ve known you for years, and you’ve built this business with very little help from the men around you. You didn’t ask for Nadia’s father to come blazing back into your life, and now you’re handling it with the same grace and sense as everything else.”
“Then why won’t life cut me a break?” I say, watching Nadia walking toward us from the car.
“You know what your dad would have said?”
“What?” I wave Nadia over with a falsely bright smile before looking back at Dex.
“It’s always darkest before the dawn. Hang tight, kiddo.”
I lean against the horse, wondering just how much darker it will get before the sun comes out again.