Chapter 50
Iremember the first time I met Sasha. He cast a shadow over the golden moment Vadim and I had created in the Russian woods.
Time has not improved his personality.
His moods are a like a weather front, and I can feel the pressure change when he enters a room. He walks across the kitchen, talking to himself under his breath in Russian loud enough for Nona to hear and start glaring at him. Vadim stands at the table and watches him, looking warily between us like an umpire.
“Vadim, are you coming? I haven’t got all day,” Sasha calls over his shoulder as if I’m not in the room. The final thread of my patience snaps, and a bright, energizing fury takes its place.
Jimmy, Stevie, and now Sasha.
I turn to Vadim with a harsh whisper. “Don’t even think about it.”
To my surprise, Vadim just smiles as if he’s party to a joke I’m not in on. He pulls me against his side, but I’m too rigid with anger to take comfort from his solid presence.
“No one is going anywhere to find my daughter without talking it through with me,” I say, lowering my voice and striving for calm as I place both palms on the kitchen table and look between Vadim and his best friend.
Vadim smiles down at me like I’ve done something he’s proud of, while Sasha just rolls his eyes.
“Come on, Vadim. We don’t have all day,” Sasha bites out, his hand on the door frame.
Vadim comes to stand behind me, then strokes his huge palm up and down my back in a steady rhythm.
“She’s my daughter too,” he says softly, leaning his body against me as if he’s trying to shelter me.
Sasha’s eyes narrow, and he steps back into the room, watching me and Vadim and looking over at Dex, who has been sitting silently and letting the drama unfold. Sasha paces slowly to the table facing me, but he looks over my head.
“What are you waiting for?” He continues talking to Vadim as if I’m not here.
Vadim eases into a chair and tugs on my hand, but I remain standing, sucking in a breath as fear for Nadia wars with anger at my powerlessness in this situation.
“I’m waiting for Kesera to tell us what she wants,” Vadim says firmly, pulling me into the seat beside him and throwing his arm around my shoulder.
“Spare me the happy families role play and let’s just get on with it. We need to find out what the younger Spataro wants, and we aren’t getting any of it done in this kitchen.”
Vadim says something to Sasha in Russian, which I don’t catch, but Nona nods approvingly as Sasha walks back to the table and glares at me.
“I don’t need this shit. My friend asked for help, and I’m here.” He plunks into a chair opposite us and presses his hands to the table, fingers gripping the wood like he could burn through it.
Vadim’s low voice washes over me. “Let’s all take a breath and calm down.” He looks over at Dex, who nods.
“If you need backup, we have a security team on site,” Dex says, forearms on the table as he watches me for a cue. I smile at him, glad I can count on someone to have my back.
Sasha taps a rhythm on the tabletop with his fingers as he and Vadim have an unspoken conversation. Sasha bites his lip and breaks eye contact, looking down at his hands. For a moment, I glimpse the little boy behind the man, uncertain and ill at ease in a room full of strangers who don’t like him, his one ally slipping away.
“Sasha,” I say, and his head snaps up as if he didn’t expect me to talk to him. Then he remembers to glare at me. “Thank you for showing up to help.”
He doesn’t speak, but his fingers slacken their grip on the table, and he looks over at Vadim as he blows out a breath. Vadim’s hand tightens on my shoulder, and his lips briefly brush my temple to signal that I did the right thing.
“When Spataro called, did they ask you to come alone? Money? Other conditions?” Vadim asks, looking over at Dex.
Sasha sighs and pulls out a packet of cigarettes, but Vadim shakes his head, and he jams them back into his pocket with a huff.
“Look, the Spataro boy sounded young,” Sasha says. “He said he’d picked up your daughter and we should be glad he had. He gave me the address and told me to come and get her. No conditions. No demands. Didn’t sound like a stakeout.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal to him, and I feel the fibers of our fragile truce snap one by one.
“You should take Dex as back up,” I say, making the effort to keep my voice steady.
He leans over the table and jabs his finger toward me like a weapon. “Listen, lady, I was driving over here to do your man a favor when I got the call. You don’t want me to get your daughter? It’s no skin off my nose.”
Vadim places his large hands over mine on the tabletop and speaks very slowly, each word landing with a thud. He’s like a mountain behind me, towering over my small frame and sheltering me. “She’s my daughter too.”
Sasha stares at him, and I see the emotions play across his face. A flash of anger before he tamps it down and nods, tightly compressing his lips.
Vadim bands his arms around my waist and steps closer to my body, and Sasha flinches as he looks at us. Something about Vadim having a family hurts him. If there was more time, I’d try to handle him more carefully, but we’re talking about a ten-year-old girl who’s gone missing.
“I’m coming with you,” I say firmly, but Vadim shakes his head, his fingers tightening over mine.
His Russian accent sounds stronger when he says, “There is no way.” My frustration increases when Sasha smirks, but I watch the smirk fall off his face when Vadim adds, “I can’t risk losing you.”
He pulls me to my feet, nodding at Sasha as he draws me out of the room. He leads me along the corridor into the light-filled sitting room and shuts the door behind us. Pushing me against the door, he cages me in his arms and touches his forehead to mine, his pale eyes creased with worry.
“Tell me you understand, zolotaya,” he whispers, and I can taste the mint and cigarettes on his breath as he leans into me. “Tell me I can protect you. Pozhaluysta.” He shuts his eyes and pulls me into him, lips landing softly on mine like a question.
He’s so soft for such a hard man as he presses his mouth against my top and then my bottom lip. These featherlight kisses ask for something he’s not willing to put into words. I open to him, and his tongue dances with mine. The low groan he makes reverberates through my chest as he pulls me against him, fisting my hair to pull me closer. He drags his hot mouth away from mine, arms tugging me against him as his lips paint a trail of fire up my neck.
“I can’t risk you, zolotaya. I can’t lose you when I’ve only just found you again.” His voice wavers against the column of my neck, sending shivers down each of my vertebrae.
Pulling back, I look at the desperate expression on Vadim’s face and nod. He sags with relief, closing his eyes on a sigh and pressing his lips against my forehead.
“I know Sasha is a raging asshole.” His laughter shakes his body as it surrounds me, as if the tension between me and his friend is a joke. “But no one else has my back the way he does. Let him help me find Nadia. I trust him in this.”
Stepping back, he holds my shoulders and searches my face, worry lining his forehead and creasing his eyes. I can’t resist sliding my palm against his cheek to reassure him. He squeezes his eyes shut, pressing his lips against my palm before he looks back at me, eyes burning with pale fire.
I nod, not asking him to confirm which other ways he doesn’t trust Sasha. Pressing a quick kiss to his mouth, I bite back the observation that Sasha will never support Vadim being with me. Instead, I focus on what is really important.
“I need you to take Dex with you if I can’t be there.”
He pulls my hand against his chest, letting me feel his heartbeat against my palm. If there’s any hope of getting our daughter back, I’ll have to trust him, but something holds me back.
Vadim hasn’t committed to us, and concern for Nadia doesn’t mean he’s ready to love us.
I turn my head away, trying to slip from his arms, but he hauls me against his body and whispers against my mouth.
“Believe in me, zolotaya. Wait for me.”
My heart says yes, but years of disappointments and wrong turns tell me to hold myself back. He cups my face in his hands, searching my eyes before he nods. I see something I’m not yet willing to put into words.