Epilogue
Ally
It’s the first week of October, and Ryan hasn’t let go of my hand in almost two hours.
Even when I tell him he can. Even when Darla convinces me to get out of the bed and walk around the room again.
Even when a nurse comes in to check the monitors and he has to move out of her way — he only lets go long enough to step around her before his fingers find mine again.
Another contraction starts low in my stomach, and I stop walking.
Ryan feels me tense before I say anything, his attention snapping to me. “Another one?”
I nod, and he moves in front of me so I can grab his shoulders as the pressure starts wrapping around my back.
Darla is already moving. “Back again?” Her palm presses against my lower back. “More.” S
he pushes harder, and I close my eyes and breathe against Ryan’s chest as the pain climbs.
His hand moves slowly up and down my side. “That’s it, baby.”
My fingers curl into his shirt. “I’m tired.”
“I know.”
“So tired.”
“I know.” He kisses my temple. “You’re doing so good.”
“I don’t feel like I am.”
“You are.” There’s no hesitation. No empty reassurance. He says it like it’s simply true.
I press my face harder against him. He doesn’t tell me to breathe.
Doesn’t count. Doesn’t tell me what my body is supposed to be doing — Darla has spent most of the day teaching all of us that sometimes the best thing he can do is let me find my own way through it.
So he holds me, and Darla keeps the pressure against my back, and I get through another one.
When it finally begins to ease, everything in me goes loose. Ryan tightens his arms before my knees can. “I’ve got you.”
“I know.” I stay against him for a few seconds. Maybe longer.
His heartbeat is fast beneath my ear. He’s scared — he’s been scared all day.
He tries to hide it, but I know him too well now.
Every time someone checks the monitors, his eyes follow.
Every time a nurse comes in, he watches her face before he listens to her words.
Every time Darla explains something, he listens like he’ll be tested on it later.
But when he looks at me, he makes himself calm. For me.
I lift my head. “You okay?”
His eyebrows pull together. “I’m not the one in labor.”
“That wasn’t what I asked.”
His mouth softens. “Yeah.”
“Liar.”
“A little terrified.”
I reach up and touch his cheek. “Me too.”
His eyes hold mine. Then he turns his head and kisses my palm. “We can be terrified together.”
I smile. “I can do that.”
“Good.” He kisses my forehead. “Want the bed?”
“Not yet.”
“Ball?” I glance at the giant blue ball Darla brought over earlier.
“No.”
“Keep walking?”
“Yeah.”
He threads our fingers together again, and we walk.
Cassandra sits near the window with one of my blankets from home folded across her lap — she brought it because hospital blankets are terrible, and apparently I complained about that enough during one of my appointments for her to remember.
Walter is beside her, his phone in his hand, though he hasn’t looked at it for more than thirty consecutive seconds all day.
They’re trying not to hover. They’re terrible at it.
I don’t mind. Darla follows a few steps behind, giving me room while staying close enough that I know she’s there.
The room feels full. But not crowded. There’s a difference.
I’ve spent most of my life knowing exactly how many people were in a room because I needed to — where Dad was, where Victor was, where Tobias was, how close the door was, whether I could leave.
Today, I know because I want every single person here.
“You’re thinking,” Ryan says, his thumb moving over mine.
“I do that sometimes.”
“I’ve heard.” I bump my shoulder gently against his, and his mouth curves. “What about?”
I look around the room. “You guys. You. Cassandra. Walter. Darla.”
“Happy to make the list,” Darla says from behind us.
I smile back at her, then look at Ryan. “I wanted you here.”
“I know.”
“No. I mean—“ I stop walking, and he stops with me. “I got to decide.”
His fingers tighten around mine. “Yeah, baby.”
I look toward Cassandra. Toward Walter. Darla. Then back at him. “I got to decide who was in the room.”
Something passes across his face — pride, pain, love, all tangled together. “You did.”
I look down at our hands. “I like that.”
Ryan lifts mine and kisses my knuckles. “So do I.”
_
The baby has apparently become the most heavily debated person in Edgewood without technically being born yet. Walter is the one who tells me. I’m sitting on the edge of the bed now, Ryan beside me, his hand rubbing slowly over my back, when Walter looks down at his phone and smiles.
“Tobias changed his guess again.”
“Boy or girl?”
“Both.”
I laugh softly. “He can’t pick both.”
“Catherine told him that.”
“What did he say?”
“He paid twice.”
Ryan laughs beside me. “Smart kid.”
“That’s cheating,” I say.
“That’s strategy.” I lean against him. “What did everybody else pick?”
Walter looks at his phone. “You really want to know?”
“Yeah.”
He scrolls. “Callum says boy. Saoirse says girl. Thomas says girl. Alice says girl, Gideon says boy. Clifford and Louise split theirs. Theodore says boy.”
“And Katya?”
Walter doesn’t need to check. “Girl.”
I smile. “She’s been saying that for months.”
“She has.”
“Arthur?”
Walter’s mouth twitches. “Arthur has apparently predicted sex, weight, and exact birth time. Seven pounds, eleven ounces. Girl. Eleven forty-two tonight.”
Ryan looks at the clock. “He’s confident.”
“Apparently he made Catherine establish whether the official hospital time or the time we tell everyone counts.”
I laugh. “Hospital time?”
“Obviously.” Walter smiles. “That’s what Arthur said.”
Another little ache tightens across my stomach, but it doesn’t build. Not yet. I rest my hand there.
“Are they really all out there?” Walter’s expression softens.
“Every one of them.”
“All the parents?”
“All of them.”
My eyes burn unexpectedly, and Ryan notices, his hand moving from my back to my thigh. “Hey.”
“I’m okay.”
“I know.”
I look toward the closed door. Arthur. Callum and Saoirse.
Thomas. Alice and Gideon. Clifford and Louise.
Theodore and Katya. All sitting somewhere on the other side of it, waiting.
Kaiden and Cat came from Boston almost as soon as Ryan told them I was in labor, and took Tobias without me having to ask twice.
Penny and Xander left New Haven and are somewhere on the road now.
Iz and Bella are coming from Baltimore. Danny and Becca are on the other side of the country, trying to get here. For one baby. Our baby.
“That’s a lot of people waiting for someone they haven’t even met.”
Ryan looks down at my stomach. “Our baby’s kind of a big deal.”
A small laugh escapes me.“Already.”
I put my hand over his, and the baby moves beneath our palms. Not a kick anymore — there isn’t enough room for the dramatic kicks from a few months ago. Just a slow push. A stretch. Ryan goes still every single time.
“Hi,” he murmurs. I watch his face. His hand moves with the baby.
“Boy or girl?” I ask.
"Nope.” He bends and kisses my stomach through the hospital gown. “You’ve kept your secret this long. You can keep it a little longer.”
My heart squeezes. We could have found out months ago.
We chose not to. There were so many things about this pregnancy that didn’t feel like ours at first. Too much fear.
Too many plans being made around us. Too many people trying to decide where I would live and where I would go and what would happen to my body and my future.
So when the doctor asked whether we wanted to know, I looked at Ryan, and Ryan looked at me, and we said no.
Together. This one could wait. This one could be ours.
_
By the time Penny and Xander arrive, I don’t see them.
I see pictures. That’s enough. The first is Tobias sitting between Kaiden and Cat with ketchup on his cheek and a plate of French fries in front of him.
The second is Tobias and Cat making a card — a green frog wearing a crown taking up most of the paper, WELCOME BABY across the top.
The third is him asleep with his head on Kaiden’s thigh, Kaiden’s hand resting lightly against his hair.
The fourth comes after Penny and X get there: Tobias on Xander’s back, Penny laughing beside them, Cat having apparently turned a corner of the waiting room into headquarters for the baby pool.
And Penny’s phone is propped against something on the table, Becca on the screen.
“Are they still on FaceTime?” I ask.
Cassandra smiles. “They haven’t hung up. Catherine had them for a while, then Penny. They booked the red-eye — they’ll be here tomorrow.”
My throat tightens. “That’s a long way to come.”
Ryan looks at me. “It’s us.” Just that. It’s us. As if California has nothing to do with it. As if of course they’ll cross the country.
Cassandra’s phone rings, and she looks at the screen. “Speaking of.”
She answers, and Penny appears first.
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
“How are you doing?”
“Tired.”
Her expression softens. “You look tired.”
“Thank you.”
“I didn’t mean—“
I laugh.“I know.” Then Becca leans into the screen beside Penny’s face.
“Hi.” My heart squeezes.
“Hi.” Her hair is pulled up messily, and Danny is moving around behind her over two open suitcases on their bed.
“You’re packing?”
“We’re almost done.”
“We’re done,” Danny calls, without turning.
“We are not,” Becca says. “I haven’t packed my other shoes.”
Danny pauses. “Okay. We’re apparently not done.”
I laugh, and Becca smiles at me. “We’ll be there tomorrow.”
“You guys really don’t have to—“
“Yes, we do.” Immediate.
Danny comes closer. “She’s right.”
I look between them on the little screen. “You have classes.”
“So do Kaid and Cat,” Becca says. “And Iz and Bella. And Penny.”
Penny turns the phone toward herself. “I’m literally sitting in the hospital.”
Xander’s voice comes from beside her. “She’s got you there.”
My eyes fill. “Okay.”
Becca’s face softens. “Hey. We’re coming.”
“I know.”