Chapter 13
NINETEEN YEARS OLD
Clover,
I’m done asking. You don’t get to erase me. You don’t get to pretend I don’t exist just because you’re angry.
I feel you sometimes at night; your longing, your loneliness, your heartbreak. You miss me as much as I miss you. So don’t lie to yourself and say you’ve moved on, because you haven’t.
You wanted to erase the boy who broke your heart. Congratulations. You did. I don’t even know who I am anymore.
On a positive note, I’ve started going to the capital under the guise of visiting my father to find more loyalists. I’ve even gotten to kill a few.
Is that who you want? A man with blood on his hands who doesn’t let morals dictate his every move? A man so desperate for his mate to fight beside him that he’d rather kill than be alone with his thoughts? Because that’s who I am now.
I fucking love you, Clover. Come back to me.
Yours,
Amos
Clover,
Did you know I can tell when you think of me? There’s always an ache woven into whatever you’re feeling. Except when you fuck yourself—then you love torturing me, edging me through the bond almost every night.
Don’t think I didn’t notice that when I fuck my fist, you join in. Or how when you start without me, you can’t finish unless I’m stroking my cock right alongside you.
I’ve been trying to give you time. I’m done trying.
You belong here with me, and I’ll have you soon enough. I hope you fight me until we’re both bloody and bruised. Do you remember your safe word? Candle. That word is the only thing that will stop me from having you, because no matter what lies you tell yourself, I know the truth.
I’ll see you soon, mate.
Yours,
Amos
Clover stared at the letter in her hand, frowning. He didn’t say I love you.
It had taken her two years to finally read Amos’ letters. She’d been so hurt and prideful that she couldn’t bring herself to, but one day, she’d broke and read them all.
She cried at some and laughed at others’ ridiculousness. There were dozens, and with every page, she never knew which Amos she would get. His mind swung between a heartbroken boy and an unhinged man, but not long after she’d given in, he’d evened out.
Amos wasn’t heartbroken anymore—he was deranged. She found herself looking forward to each letter, and thrived on their game of cat and mouse through the bond.
He thought she’d cut Eddy off, but she would never. The fox did nothing wrong. She could tell when he connected with Amos and avoided him during those times. Amos would see her on her terms, not his.
She glanced back down at the letter. What does he mean he’ll see me soon?
A tingle slid down her spine at the thought. It wasn’t like he could come to the Human Kingdom, and she hadn’t planned to go home yet, but now…
She’d thought she couldn’t still love Amos because neither of them were the same people they were when they were sixteen, but after reading his letters, her heart fell right back into his hands.
Clover sighed. Her birthday was in a few months, and that would give her plenty of time to make arrangements to leave for a week. She’d tell Amelia her boss at the bakery wanted to send her to a baking class in the Human Kingdom capital or something.
The more Clover thought about it, the more excited she became. It would be nice to surprise her family—and her mate.