Chapter 16
NOAH
Panic struck me so hard I nearly choked on it as I sat up in a rush and scrambled for the bunk ladder. I more fell than climbed down as my flight response kicked into overdrive.
“Noah?” Skye mumbled in a sleepy voice from the bunk beneath mine, and I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood. A quick glance back up to my bed, and I locked eyes with a bewildered, sleep--tousled Minho, and my chest tightened painfully.
“Shh, go back to sleep,” I whispered to my roomie.
“I’m just going to the bathroom.” Then I took off out of the cabin so fast I didn’t even grab shoes or an umbrella.
I just needed to run and hide and never ever face the inevitable anger and betrayal as Minho put all the pieces of my deception together.
Thunder boomed through the sky as I hauled ass across the clearing, passing all the other silent, sleeping bunk cabins in my desperate need to flee the consequences of my many terrible decisions.
Idiot. I was such an idiot. What the fuck did I think was going to happen, falling asleep like that with Minho draped over me?
I was already well aware how worked up I was from making out with Torin and arguing with Ace, and then Minnie’s gentle caresses…
Fuck me, I hadn’t realized just how many brain cells I must have lost during drowning until now.
Apparently I’d dropped a decent double--digit amount of IQ points because what the fuck was I thinking?
“Chicken!” Minho called out from somewhere behind, his voice barely audible over the sound of the pounding rain and rumbling thunder. I paused briefly, my heart in my throat. “Noah! Stop and talk to me!”
I shook my head, swiping rain and tears from my eyes as I forged ahead with literally no destination in mind. Where the fuck did I think I was going at this time of night in the middle of a storm? Logic played no part in my need to run away, apparently.
It wasn’t until I was halfway down the trail toward the lake that Minho’s voice sounded closer, and his words made me stop dead in my tracks.
“Noah, I’m sorry!”
“What?” I whirled around, confused and shocked and— Fuck, he looked incredible standing there in the pouring rain with the camp lights illuminating him from behind.
Like a fallen angel or some shit, his T--shirt plastered to his slim muscular form like the best kind of thirst trap. “Why are you sorry?”
His chest heaved as he strode closer, taking advantage of my hesitation to close the gap between us. “That was a shitty thing to ask. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you or—-”
“What?” I asked again with an edge of hysteria. “You’re apologizing for…for offending me? Min, I’m really confused. You’re not pissed at me?”
His eyes widened and he shook his head quickly, sending rain flicking everywhere as he reached out to touch my face, but I quickly stepped backward out of his reach, painfully aware of the cameras that were likely still recording.
“Cameras,” I muttered with a pained glance over his shoulder.
His brow furrowed with a deep scowl, and he stuffed his hands into his pockets, as if that were the only thing stopping him from touching me. “I didn’t mean to upset you, Chicken, I swear. I was just half--asleep and confused.”
Baffled, I raked a hand through my hair, then over my face, silently thankful that the rain was obscuring the tears leaking from my eyes. “I don’t understand.”
He stared at me thoughtfully, dragging his lush lower lip through his teeth for a moment, then gave a sharp nod.
“Come with me?” It was phrased as a request, but he immediately started down the trail once more, and I didn’t even hesitate a second before following, knowing exactly where he was heading.
Our blind spot behind the massive redwood tree.
The second we were out of range of cameras, his hands were in my hair and his lips on mine, and I lost all sense of rational thought.
All my panic and fear and objections evaporated at the familiar panty--melting perfection that was his kiss, and I lost myself for a moment.
One exquisite moment that would live forever in my mind before I pushed him away once more.
“Minnie, we can’t. I lied to you. How are you not furious with me right now?” Because as much as I wanted to pretend this was an inconsequential bump in the road, it wasn’t. It was a major betrayal of his trust, and there was no way we could just sweep it under the rug so quickly.
He frowned, swiping his tongue over his lower lip like he was savoring the taste of my kiss. “You didn’t lie, Chicken. I’m sorry I let myself get carried away when you were really clear that you wanted to take things slow, and now I’ve put you in an awkward position.”
Stunned didn’t even begin to cover how I was feeling. “So…you’re not mad at me? I catfished you. That’s unforgiveable.”
Minho swiped pouring rain from his face and his lips curled in a lopsided smile. “You didn’t catfish me. I already told you, Chicken: I don’t care what gender you are. I just like you, regardless of whether you’re biologically a guy or you’re in transition or—-”
“Wait, what?” I squeaked, my mind whirling so fast I could practically hear the motion.
“I’m not… Oh my God.” Instantly, I saw where his head was at, and I groaned, clapping my hands over my face.
This was so much worse than I’d even imagined.
It hadn’t ever even crossed my mind that he’d think I was transgender, but now I felt like an even bigger asshole than ever before.
The guilt and regret damn near choked me as I tried to find the words to explain, but Minnie was right there, comforting me for entirely the wrong reasons, and it was breaking my heart all over again that I needed to correct him.
“Hey, Chicken, don’t cry,” he murmured sweetly as his arms wrapped around me once more, his hand rubbing my saturated back as I leaned into his embrace without any ability to stop myself. “This doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
I hiccupped a slightly unhinged laugh, dropping my hands from my face so I could look up at him, locking eyes through the downpour and nearly becoming lost in his dark gaze.
The way his wet lashes spiked together was like the most perfect mascara commercial on earth, and it was downright unfair how stunning this man was.
“I’m not…” I inhaled deeply and blew out a long exhale, shaking my head. “This is harder than I expected. I’m not trans, Minnie.”
His expression turned thoughtful and concerned and honestly a little bit sheepish. “Oh, you’re not? So is it just…really small?”
“Huh?” I asked stupidly, not following what he was talking about. Until it clicked and I snort--laughed. “Oh my God, no! I don’t have a micropenis. I’m a girl.”
The silence that followed my confession was thick enough to choke on, and my heart pounded so hard it physically hurt. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Minho’s confused face, though. I couldn’t blink for fear of missing a moment of his reaction as he processed what I’d just said.
“You’re…” he murmured with an edge of skepticism, like maybe I was pulling some elaborate hoax to test his word about liking me for me.
“I’m female,” I said in a softer voice, trying to make it as clear as I possibly could without literally taking my pants off and doing a handstand split to display my vagina.
“I’ve been pretending to be a guy this whole time because—-” Fucking hell, all the reasons seemed so stupid, petty, and pathetic right now.
“Because of reasons that had nothing to do with you or us or anything personal. It was a dumb--fuck business decision that Olympus Corp blackmailed me into and then, you know, it spiraled out of control.”
Minho took a step backward, and it was like he ripped my heart clean out of my chest with that one simple motion. “I don’t understand.”
I was at a loss for what else to say, but fucking hell, I’d come this far. How much worse could I really make things now? So for lack of any better ideas—-and because my handstand skills were rusty as hell these days—-I pulled up my shirt to show him my binder.
“Noah, I’m lost. What does your back brace have to do with this?”
I rolled my eyes. He was gorgeous, no doubt, and one of the sweetest, most caring people I’d ever met in my whole damn life, not to mention talented, charming, funny, protective, and a myriad of other admirable qualities, but right now, right in this moment…fuck, he was dumb.
With a quick glance around to confirm we were alone—-of course we were; it was the middle of the night and the storm had hit monsoon conditions—-I yanked my shirt off completely and ripped open the heavy Velcro of my chest binder, freeing my tits from their confinement.
Minho’s mouth fell open and his brows hiked dramatically high while his gaze shifted from my face to my chest and stayed there. “Oh. Ohhhhh… Wow.”
I swiped rain from my face and shrugged, suddenly feeling very exposed and awkward with my tits out in the middle of the woods.
In fairness, it was only the light from the main path that gave us any visibility at all; otherwise, with how heavy the rain was, it’d have been pitch--black and my little nudist display would have proven nothing.
“Right, well, now that we’ve cleared that up,” I muttered, looking around for wherever I’d just tossed my shirt. That was silly of me. Now I was half--naked in the pouring rain, and Minho was still staring at me like… Well, I guess like I’d just pulled my Scooby Doo villain mask off to reveal tits.
When I thought I spotted my shirt dangling from a branch, I reached for it, only to have Minho snatch it away before I could. I froze, confused and scared as I waited for an actual response from him.
“Minnie, I’m sorry,” I whispered with gut--wrenching regret, now utterly convinced it must be over for us. With how far I’d let things go and how strongly our emotions had become invested, this was too much to expect forgiveness for.