34. Chapter 34
Chapter 34
Damn, she feels good in my arms. After getting home from the rescue, Hannah fell asleep against me on the couch with Hagrid purring on her stomach. The minute we got home last night, she made me order pizza while she got a pen and paper out of my entryway table, jumping right into writing out everything she needed to get tomorrow morning for Daisy. After that, she stayed up late last night after working on self-editing her book. She’s so driven. I can’t believe that she wrote an entire book in less than three months. All while making new friends, figuring out a new city, and dating me. She’s just so incredible. And she chose me . . . or I think she does.
I knew she was something the minute I laid eyes on her, but I never thought that I would get this far with her. She fits into my life so perfectly, and I’d like to think that I fit perfectly in hers. We fit together for now, but the season is starting soon. In two short weeks, summer vacation is officially over, and I can’t say that I’m not worried about it. Everything is great now that neither of us has a schedule or responsibilities. I’m on vacation and she’s writing a book and taking some time to breathe after her divorce. But how is this going to work when I’m on the road for ten or more days at a time? Or worse when the puck bunnies get aggressive? Or the media gets in the middle of everything?
How is Hannah going to be able to deal with that, especially after what her ex-husband did to her? Is she going to stick around? Is she going to be able to handle the pressure of dating a professional athlete? Is she going to be able to trust me enough to believe me when I tell her that I only see her? Because I swear that I haven’t looked at another woman since I got a glimpse of her on the crowded dance floor.
“I can hear you think in my sleep. What’s going on, babe?” Hannah asks, interrupting my spiralling thoughts, reaching back to run her hand up and down my thigh.
“Sorry,” I say, brushing my hands through her hair.
“Tell me.”
“If I have to,” I say with a deep breath, as I keep her locked against my side.“I was just thinking of how we’re going to work once the season starts. There are some road trips where I’m gone for ten days or more at a time. I have a crazy-hectic schedule during the season. Between games, practice, video sessions, training, and sponsor events, I barely have time to think sometimes. I don’t want you to feel like you’re not a priority to me. Don’t even get me started on the media, they love anything resembling a story, then there’s the puck bunnies, they are everywhere. I just don’t want you to have to deal with that especially when I’m on the other side of the country, or having you think that you can’t talk to me about it because I’m so busy or because you don’t want to distract me,” I rush out, hoping she understands.
“I can’t say that this topic hasn’t crossed my mind either, but I know you’re a stand-up guy. I’m not young and na?ve enough to think that everything the media says is true,” she says, shifting from having her head on my lap to straddling my lap, grasping the back of my neck comforting me. “I trust you, Ian. I wouldn’t be doing any of this with you if I didn’t. Just be honest with me at all times and don’t hide things from me. The media gets in your face tell me, some girls are giving you a little too much attention, tell me. On my end, I’ll talk to Ellie about it to see how she and JJ handle the circus that is being in a relationship with a professional athlete.”
“Are you sure you’re up for this?” I ask, hating how insecure I sound.
“Promise. If I stop or if I start questioning us, I promise to talk to you about it. But promise me that you’ll do the same and that you’ll always be honest with me, no matter what. Even if you think or you know it’s going to upset me or hurt me, okay?”
“Promise,” I agree, sealing it with a soft kiss. I don’t think I’ve ever meant anything as much as I mean the promise I just made. On the other hand, I’m still uncertain on how on board she is with all this and I hate it. I don’t want to question her or her intentions but I’ve been here before. I’ve had someone tell me they understood and they were on board, however, when it came down to it they couldn’t handle the pressure.
“Good,” she says, pressing another kiss to my lips. “Now, let’s go get ready so we can tackle that cat list!” she says quickly, changing the subject which does not make me feel better. “I can’t believe I get to cross adopting an animal off my list today! Seriously, because of you, I’ve accomplished so many things this summer!” she excitedly spits out as she gets out of bed and makes her way to my ensuite.
Shit. Does she actually only see me as someone who can help her cross some stuff off a list? Here I am seeing her as the woman for me. The partner I didn’t know I was looking for. Just the other day at lunch, the boys laughed at me because I was so caught up in a daydream about her—I had seen a little girl, maybe five, in a pink tutu holding her mom’s hand as they crossed the street. Immediately, I picture Hannah holding our daughter’s hand as they cross the street to join me for lunch. Yet, she just wants to cross stuff off a list.
I should have known not to jump into this blindly with both feet. Look what happened the last time. I should have tread more carefully. I should have gone on one foot at a time. I should have waited for her to lead the way, I should have spent more time gauging where she was instead of quickly falling for her like I did.