Chapter 29
Spencer
“What the hell are you talking about?” I breathe.
“Emma. Ivy’s mom. I-I knew her name.” She shifts on her feet by my truck, hugging her arms around her body. “I’ve known her name since the day I met Ivy. There was this note . . .”
I slide the hat from my head. My mouth opens but closes after I can’t find a response.
Riley . . . lied?
I swallow past the stone that’s about two seconds away from cutting off my air supply. “All this time. You—”
I stalk a little way away and pad a tight circle.
Why wouldn’t she tell me?
She should have showed me the goddamn note.
I had the ri—
“Spencer. Please. I didn’t want her coming back for Ivy. I thought, as inexperienced as you were with kids, at least you didn’t abandon her.” The plea in Riley’s tone sends my gut sinking.
I hate it.
I can’t bring myself to ease it, either.
So, I come to a standstill, our gazes locking as Riley’s face moves through devastation and hurt to deflation.
“I’m sorry, Spence,” she whispers, her eyes lining with silver.
Yeah, Riles, me too.
It’s not that I would have given Ivy back. Okay, maybe I would have. But Riley should have told me.
She should have fucking told me.
“I have to go and find my daughter,” I growl and head for Brady’s pickup, leaving Riley leaning against my own.
“Hey,” Brades calls when he sees me approaching.
Ivy is crawling in the tray of his vehicle, chasing a ball as Brady takes it and rolls it to the front by the cab again.
“You realize she’s not a dog, bud,” I say. My words are weary. It’s been a long night. I’m surprised Ives is still up and not fussing to go to bed.
“Was the only thing I had to keep her busy. You two okay?”
Brady’s dark gaze studies my face like the answer to his question is right there on my face.
“Yes. No. I have no idea.”
“The only thing I know to be for certain is that fiery little woman of yours possibly loves this little girl more than she loves you.” Brades picks Ivy up when she crawls back with the ball in one tiny hand. He pops her on his hip and messes up her hair. “Time for bed, munchkin.”
The air that rushes from my chest doesn’t return.
Stunned, I absent-mindedly reach for Ivy as Brady hands her over.
“Don’t stay mad at her too long, bud. Time isn’t something you two have in endless supply, remember.”
Something in his expression saddens.
He sounds like a man speaking from experience, but I’ve never known Brady to have anything serious. Any one-nighters he’s had have been when he’s down and out and for reasons he never wants to talk about.
Something I always thought was a bad habit to keep. But who knows the secrets people hug close to their chests.
Apparently not me.
I didn’t see tonight ending this way.
Ivy rubs her eyes as her mouth pops with a yawn.
“Looks like bedtime. Thanks, Brades.”
“Sure. See you tomorrow.”
I head for the pickup, but when I round the front to make for the back door to put Ives in her seat, Riley is nowhere to be found.
Dammit, Riles.
Fuck, now I feel like the world’s biggest asshole.
I strap Ivy into her seat and find her pacifier. She’s snuggling up with Mr. Fluffy a beat later, her eyes drifting shut, and I close the truck and send my gaze around the grounds for Riley.
Come on, Riles. Where are you, baby?
Not wanting to leave Ivy in the truck alone, I open the driver’s door and sit on the seat, facing out. I turn my hat around in my hands as I think over the last nine months of my life.
Of our lives.
Would I have simply handed my daughter back?
I don’t know now that I wouldn’t have. I knew what it would cost me, and I was adamant at the time that it didn’t turn out that way. Despite my best efforts to lead a double life in relation to the expectations of a Lockwood and being a dad, I failed anyway.
I did lose that part of my life.
Now, looking back on it, I can’t say I’m worse off.
Footsteps crunch over the grass, and I snap my attention up. Maggie and Riley are wandering toward the truck. Slowly, they home in on me, chatting away. Like what’s being conveyed between them is far more important than me sitting here.
“Night, Riley,” Maggie says. “Night, Spence.” She gives me her wide, genuine, happy smile and waves as she turns and makes her way back to where her and Hadley are parked for the night. Under their big tree. Those two always find a tree to park under, no matter the event or the location.
My focus is back on Riley as she walks toward me. I step out of the truck and meet her halfway.
“Riles, I’m sorry,” I breathe, hands closing around her jawline as I lift her face up, her gaze connecting with mine. “Ivy is all you’ve ever cared about, and I’m the world’s stupidest asshole for doubting that for even a second.”
“No. You’re an eejit. Plain and simple. But I am so sorry I didn’t tell you about the note later on. To be honest, I forgot about it. And when that woman talked about Ives like that . . .”
Fire lances through her eyes, and her jaw feathers in my palm.
I chuckle, low and soft.
“You are the softest, most fiery, protective person I have ever met. Goddamn, woman, you are driving me fucking crazy. And yes, I am aware how fucked up those two statements sound.”
Riley’s eyes search my own. “Do you really think she will try to take Ivy back?”
I sigh. “I don’t know, Riles. I hope not. But if she does, she’s in for one hell of a fight.”
A sad smile props up one side of her pretty mouth.
I haul her into my body, smooshing her head into my chest as I plant a kiss to the crown of her head. The ways I love this woman are too many to count.
Soft snores drift from the inside of the truck, and we both lose breathy laughs.
“Time for a long, hot soaking bath and bed,” I whisper into Riley’s ear.
Her head tilts up, dark eyes pinning me from below. “Hot, wet, and naked. Just how I like to end a hard day.”
I scoop her up into my arms and she squeals, immediately slapping a hand to her mouth. Always thinking about Ivy, she is. Riley O’Malley makes an incredible mother. Would make an incredible mother.
And . . . I’m fucking hard at the thought of putting a baby in her.
I walk her to her door, open it, and sit her on the seat. Her arms don’t fall from my neck. I dip and capture her mouth with mine.
Fine fingers slip under my collar, and I groan, leaning into the seat to relieve the throb in my cock.
Home—well, motel—now would be good.
I break away reluctantly and am firing up the engine before Riles can object. We’re back at the motel five minutes later, and I’m carrying Ivy from the car to the room.
Riley unlocks the door and I slip inside, laying Ivy down before I tuck her in. “Snug as a bug in a rug, baby girl,” I whisper.
The door closes softly and Riley leans against it, watching as I sit on the end of the single bed Ivy’s in and pull off my boots.
Her gaze wanders the floor, and I know she is overthinking everything that happened tonight.
“Come here.” I beckon her with a jerk of my head.
Riley’s brows lower, but she pushes off the door and drops her bag to the floor. Once she’s close enough, I reach for her.
She stops shy of my open legs.
I haul her closer until she’s standing between my thighs, and I’m looking up into her dark eyes. “Thank you for loving Ivy as much as I do.”
Her stare turns a little vacant.
Yep, she’s up in her head over this.
“Riles, I’m not sorry you didn’t show me the note. To be honest, I don’t think you should have, either. I was a mess back then. It was very possible I would have handed Ivy back over to her . . .” I don’t want to say mom. The word doesn’t fit what that woman is to Ivy. “You made the right call.”
“I shouldn’t have made the call at all. It wasn’t my place.”
“And yet, Ivy is better off for it.”
“Maybe . . .”
“No. She absolutely is.”
A small, soft smile breaks on her face. “I think you’re an amazing daddy, Spence.”
Fuck, when she calls me daddy.
I think I have a damn complex. I’m going to need to be called daddy from now on.
Daddy kink—unlocked.
“What on earth just went through your head, Spencer Lockwood? That look on your face . . .” Her head turns sideways, eyes straining, like she’s assessing me like the freak I am.
I chuckle.
“Baby, you call me daddy one more time, and I am definitely putting you over my knee and spanking you.”
A laugh bursts from her lips. Which she immediately tamps back to a horrified but playful expression as her shoulders shake.
That’s better. There’s my girl.
I slide my hands around her waist and tug her closer. Dipping my face into her belly, I breathe her in.
God above, she smells incredible.
I lift her shirt and slip my head underneath it.
I’m trapped.
I’m ridiculous.
I plant open-mouthed kisses below her bra, over her ribs, and around her belly button. Hands sink into my hair as I feel her body shift, her back arching just the slightest.
The shirt is tugged off my head, and my jawline is palmed as she tilts my head up. “I distinctly remember being offered a long, hot bath.”
“Yes ma’am.”
I push to my feet and haul her onto my hips.
Her legs wrap around my waist, her mouth finding mine en route to the bathroom. The bigger room came with a bath, as well as the big bed we are taking and Ivy’s twin bed. I intend on making good use of both the bath and the king bed.
Inside the bathroom, I shut the door with my foot. Turning, I press Riley into the door. Her legs leave my hips, and her feet meet the floor.
“Hands up,” she breathes.
I plant my palms on the doorframe overhead.
Fine fingers pluck my buttons free until my shirt falls open.
She’s dusting kisses over my chest, and I can barely fucking take it. After an emotionally charged ride through the lost and found of our personal baggage, I’m ready to be balls deep in the only woman I’ve ever let in to this slightly used heart of mine.
“Nope, too slow, baby.”
I’m stripping her clothes from her skin a beat later.
As she stands in front of me bare, I step back to take her in.
Still a little nervous, she fondles her long hair and drags it to the side, and I know where she’s going with this move.
I step closer and catch her wrist before she loses the waterfall of ebony and covers herself up.
“No, Riles. Don’t hide. Not from me.”
It took me long enough, but I figured out that, despite her hard exterior, my girl has a soft-as-sin inside. And that means her confidence isn’t always where it should be.
I have made it my personal challenge to make sure she knows just how stunning she is. Every single damn part of her.
So, I do the thing any man would do to make sure what’s his stays that way.
I drop to one knee and lift my gaze to hers.